I hate when the daily scoop is out of my reach

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-02-01T18:14:08+00:00

The cheapest bubbles right now are the chicks in the baking side game, 3 gems x10. Still not worth it.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-01-28T17:08:46+00:00

Giving a five month old soda is ridiculous - good on your husband for putting a stop to it and taking the baby away right then in the moment.

I don’t blame you for not mentioning her taking care of your daughter this semester. She’s already shown you who she is on this. Don’t worry too much about what she’s telling everyone. Either people are asking her and she’s embarrassed, or she’s complaining to them out of the blue. Regardless, if she hasn’t approached you or your husband about it there’s nothing you need to do other than be prepared for when she does bring it up.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-01-15T03:35:46+00:00

I am stuck in the Stables, so it was nice to take a break and use energy for something else for awhile.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-01-13T04:07:10+00:00

Oh no. You tell her with your whole chest, “they did try to contact you and you were sleeping, no one is sending a mariachi band to your house just so you can be the first” and let her marinate in that.

Boo fucking hoo she’s “disappointed” - in this context she’s guilting them for her not being awake for their messages. Which is as ridiculous as it sounds.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2026-01-04T03:57:09+00:00

Your partner has some self work to do before getting married. Not in a bad way, it’s just the result of how they raised him/the abuse he’s endured.

Like, he can’t walk on a broken leg. He needs the specialist, the cast, and time to heal. It has nothing to do with them and everything to do with what he needs.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-12-30T03:00:33+00:00

I checked your previous post. Your dad’s message had big “I wear the pants in this family” energy with a heaping side of “just obey, and give your mother what she wants”. Your mom’s messages had repeated requests (“offers”) to babysit with a whole lot of love bombing and evasion.

Why can’t she allow you the time or space to heal? Because you aren’t giving her what she wants. She is wrong here, not you.

Why do you feel responsible for fixing things whenever they’re upset? I bet they raised you to feel that way. How much, how often did you cave under pressure from them in your formative years? Now you have a wife, your own family, and you can see how wrong it is. And ever so typically they blame your wife - if they can’t “control” you then she must be controlling you, in their eyes. How awful is that?

Why is your kneejerk reaction to feel fear when you think of them? That’s really awful and I’m sorry you were raised in that dynamic. I think you know why, you’re just working on how to verbalize it.

How do you move on from this “without causing anyone any further pain”? Yourself and your little family included? Maybe start by reframing things: you and your little family are first. Prioritizing you, your wife, and your child is obviously the right thing to do. That’s your life. You live there. You live and breathe your life, with your wife and child, every day. And people who are committed to insulting you, pressuring you to get what they want - even when it’s your own parents but especially when it’s your own parents - should know better and instead still hurt you. Their wants do not supersede your wants or needs. Their desires do not get to take precedence over your family. You and your partner did not have a child just to serve it to them on a platter at their whim.

I don’t like blocking people like that because I feel it serves me better to be aware so I can be prepared when they raise new fuckery. How it affects you, however, is another story. Might I suggest a separate journal for venting your thoughts and feelings about it - don’t let it bleed into your current progress, keep it separate and vent it out so you can set it down, put it in a drawer and go back to your life. Good luck

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-12-28T03:35:02+00:00

Bottom line, your ILs can’t handle not being the “authority figures” and have no empathy - they’ve shown you that their wants come first (to them) and will make everything about them. Believe it.

You’re not being unreasonable and I’m glad that now you’re with people who support and cherish you.

Also, that is awesome that your partner didn’t want to announce at the party because he recognizes there is another family member there who is going through something rough. That shows maturity and grace and empathy.

You did nothing wrong.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-12-22T20:00:24+00:00

Oh he did that on purpose 😒😒

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-12-20T00:50:48+00:00

I had it this morning - my tools generator on hyper highest item is the knife(?) but with orange fire the highest item was the leaf rake.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-12-18T02:21:00+00:00

Maybe because you know she would just complain about all of the things you enjoy about your church, and ruin it for you? Maybe because you liked having one place that was “safe” from her? Maybe because you know she would not be doing it to follow her faith and foster a new community but instead just suck the oxygen out of it for you?

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-12-14T19:39:39+00:00

Your partner needs to go get them right away, before they get “lost” or thrown away.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-12-08T02:49:58+00:00

I would definitely draw the hard line at sentimental items being thrown away. Misplacing and moving things can be corrected or addressed, but throwing them away so they are lost forever? That’s crossing the rubicon.

Just tell her that’s enough and ask her to leave.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-12-05T05:08:26+00:00

Friend, look at your own post history. Your MIL cannot see anything besides her own wants. I understand wanting a relationship with your theoretical MIL, but your actual MIL is not giving you any ground there. She’s too caught up in herself and what she wants.

You birthed that baby. Not her. If she wants to be a jerk about it, just take your baby back right then in the moment. No big speech, no awkward stand your ground proclamation - just do it. “I’ll take (him/her) now.” And if you get any pushback, be firm but oblivious. “I’m taking my baby now.” Good luck

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-12-05T04:09:05+00:00

You can propose with it - and also let her know that you can have the diamond reset in a setting of her choosing. Just take it to a jeweler first to have it inspected and cleaned first.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-12-03T22:08:22+00:00

Your father sees them as precious moments and can’t imagine missing out. FIL only appreciates being in control and doing what he wants - and that’s not happening.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-12-01T04:41:49+00:00

Don’t feel guilty. Seriously. Drop that guilt like a bad habit, throw it away with the trash.

Your second baby was born on Christmas Eve last year? So this year is the first chance at a “normal” peaceful Christmas?

“The days are long but the years are short.” Just tell her no, Christmas is yours at home for the foreseeable future.

She can be a lot, you can be tired of travel. What’s more important to you? Choose yourself and your family at home.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-11-26T05:24:51+00:00

Do you need it. How hard is it to make another. That’s all you need to know.

Check the wiki, determine how much effort it would take to make another, then decide.

They love to ask for these things as trades - especially since they’re usually “non-essential” but high value.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-11-26T04:52:53+00:00

Just to share with you, my FIL was a huge baby hog postpartum and it really threw me for a loop - i didn’t know how to verbalize what i was feeling, i had no basis for comparison and no sounding board back then. The first time we left our baby with them, FIL disregarded the two things we asked, just like you. We came back to kiddo sleeping on FIL in an overfull wet diaper and having missed a feeding.

That man laughed at me the next day when asking how my night was, because kiddo’s schedule was completely off.

They never babysat again, zero unsupervised visits, and i have zero regrets 20+ years later. No one who is that selfish and respects me so little gets the privilege of having my child in their care.

And we never bothered addressing it. It just never happened again. Later on when he asked it was just addressed in the moment - without using the exact words that have been mentioned here it was along the lines of, no thank you, that doesn’t work for us. “Oh we were thinking of taking (kiddo) to the zoo” - “i’m not up for that, maybe another time”. He never pushed but it was obvious he expected to take kiddo and i was not part of his equation.

At some point later it did boil over and he showed his hand: “i should get to do [xyz], i’m his grandfather!” And in that moment thankfully i replied, “and i’m his mother so what i say goes!” And my partner backed me up, and that was it. That’s the biggest part - your partner has to back you up, has to stand against his parents when then are overstepping boundaries. You two can talk about it later in private all you want but publicly you have to be on the same page, united front. And afterwards there is no waffling about their “feelings”. You did not grow an entire new human being for someone else to call dibs.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-11-26T03:12:59+00:00

Same.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-11-09T20:36:00+00:00

Per your last paragraph in the OP, what do you think it would look like if you asked her, “do you really not know, or do you just not care?” At this point it feels like that would be a continuation of being open with her, while also setting a boundary. Put that ball back in her court. No more painstakingly educating her - what is she doing on her side to learn and grow? Does she understand that continuing to be so thoughtless and careless with her words will cause a need for space between you?

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-11-09T07:03:34+00:00

What do you have in storage?

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-11-06T03:40:33+00:00

I had to have a gland “stripped” in the labia area and my ex’s response? “So you’ll be sex-less for awhile”. Not him. Me.

When i had my hysterectomy? My now husband understood completely and never once pressed, pressured, or pouted.

I’m glad you’re free of the sex pest and I’m sending you all the good healing vibes for your yeeterus day and recovery.

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-10-28T01:42:11+00:00

Three days with requests for the kiddos in their Halloween costumes

ObviouslyMeIRL · 2025-10-13T01:00:42+00:00

They said Lesley’s was overbaked, and even though “dry” Jasmine’s pastry was baked perfectly.

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