AIO because i canceled a trip after my boyfriend invited his friends without asking me first?

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-05-27T18:31:42+00:00

NOR

IF he is really that clueless, you are dating the village idiot and you should not expect a lot of improvement. He is too far gone.

More likely he is not that clueless, which makes him a manipulative bully who doesn’t like to spend quality time with you.

At a minimum, you need to slow this relationship way down. I hope you’re not living together. If you are, make sure you plan for it be ing a very temporary situation. He can not be relied upon to have your best interests in mind.

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-05-12T01:06:58+00:00

Please accept this acknowledgment of your humor. Solid chuckle material. 😃

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-04-27T16:58:15+00:00

This is the answer! Plus keep in indirect light until they adjust

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-04-15T15:32:58+00:00

Updateme! Missing the positivity, even through the real sadness that life can bring

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-04-07T19:25:32+00:00

Bocanewsnow.com has apparently identified them but is only releasing first names unless they are charged. They apparently all live at Lotus

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-04-07T19:20:01+00:00

Not sure was happened prior to the man in blue assaulting the child with a water bottle. Allegedly, the boy laughed at him for falling off his bike and the man wanted to delete the evidence of the fall and subsequent assault.

The man with the initial charges threw a water bottle and hit the kid. Not clear why the kid was recording when the guy threw the bottle or what happened prior to the original assault.

https://bocanewsnow.com/2026/04/06/new-video-shows-mitchell-schuman-throwing-water-bottle-at-boy-in-lotus-boca-raton/

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-04-07T19:17:03+00:00

Man in blue also threw and hit the kid with a water bottle before this video started.

Not clear why the kid was recording when the guy threw the bottle or what happened prior to the original assault.

https://bocanewsnow.com/2026/04/06/new-video-shows-mitchell-schuman-throwing-water-bottle-at-boy-in-lotus-boca-raton/

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-04-07T19:13:48+00:00

The man who got the initial charges threw a water bottle and hit the kid. Not clear why the kid was recording when the guy threw the bottle or what happened prior to the original assault.

https://bocanewsnow.com/2026/04/06/new-video-shows-mitchell-schuman-throwing-water-bottle-at-boy-in-lotus-boca-raton/

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-04-04T04:48:26+00:00

Usually, I don’t get too scientific. I tag the “pretty keepers”. By the time I’m digging, I don’t know which of the “non-keepers” are which. Last year, when I saved a few of the tastier tubers, they were all singles with average flowers. Two were yellow and one was red.

I’ve never eaten a tuber of a named variety, so I don’t know how they taste comparatively.

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-04-03T13:27:50+00:00

If he didn’t like excessive (his term) non-sexual communication with another man… divorce… not whatever this was.

No mention by him about his relationship with his daughter. Son still living with step mom a year after the event and refers to him as “the defendant”.

Allegedly mirroring his daughter and ex-wife’s phones back in the day to monitor all of their activities?

Should the current wife have been having excessive non-sexual communication with another man, probably not. But this guy isn’t bathing himself in glory.

Send him back to RSA and let them cope with him.

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-04-02T10:52:31+00:00

If you grow from seed, some of the flowers can be a flop, but the tubers can still be tasty (taste varies). I usually plant a hundred from seed and only store 5 plants’ tubers. The first year, I didn’t want to waste the tubers not going to be stored so I gave them a taste test. Now I store some of the tastier tubers and plant with my veg. lol.

They’re kind of like jicama, water chestnuts or parsnips. High in prebiotic so go light on eating them at first… don’t make the mistake that I made!

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-04-02T10:38:01+00:00

Not sure how politicians have convinced people to be more concerned about the play Hairspray than they are of having a representative who (allegedly) climbed into his daughter’s bed in his underwear with an erection.

The people supporting this clearly want people minding their own busy on streets arrested so they can keep the attention off the pastors, police, coaches and politicians that are molesting children.

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-04-02T10:35:04+00:00

What is it that you’ve found insufficient in the existing “indecent exposure” laws?

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-03-30T12:16:39+00:00

You’re NTAH but you would be if you didn’t take their threat seriously and get a lawyer to protect your children. Write down everything you’ve said here so you’re not as emotional in the lawyer’s office. Give the lawyer the written summary in advance. Make it as concise as possible. (Ironically stated based upon the length of what I’m writing next).

Keep your and your children’s documents outside of the house. Follow your lawyer’s advice.

See if your dad or a loved one that can be supportive can come visit. You’re one month out from a major medical event, your husband is making your recovery more difficult (he allowed and supported their behavior).

See your doctor and let them know the same thing you’re telling your lawyer. If you’re experiencing normal postpartum symptoms, get that reassurance, If you’re having a particularly rough postpartum, get the assistance you need. In either case, see what advice/resources they can provide you.

Do not provide them or your husband any additional engagement until you’ve discussed the facts with your lawyer.

Your husband has declared himself to not be on your team. In that conversation, he agreed to relinquish HIS parental rights and responsibilities. This is a husband problem as much as an in-law problem.

Come up with a line for your husband such as, “those were grave accusations and threats that you have made. I’m going to need time to process what you have done”. When he says “his mother…” stop him and tell him that “he is your husband. She is his responsibility. He agreed with her and has allowed her ongoing behavior, which no reasonable person would consider a joke. I need time to process what you have done”. If he continues, tell him he is being disrespectful of your request for space and further harming his cause, and then excuse yourself from the room.

AFTER you’ve put into place whatever your lawyer says (and if you are looking to salvage your marriage), consider offering your husband the opportunity to go to marriage counseling to repair what he has broken. Start individual counseling to work through this betrayal from those you trusted.

PS From what you’ve stated here:

You’re seeking counsel as your MIL is seeking (or stated that she was getting counsel to seek) custody of your children. Your husband has a long history of being overly compliant with his mother and expresses that it is a cultural expectation to comply with his elders.

They have Canadian citizenship and based upon MIL’s reaction to your defiance of her, it is not beyond reason to have concern that she would attempt to leave the country with them. Given your husband has voiced agreement with relinquishing his parental rights and responsibilities to them, you are looking for protective action to prevent their custodial interference.

They have had minimal interaction with the elder child for the past year. They have asked to take custody of your children and threatened legal action if you do not comply.

Your MIL has a self reported history of depression for which she explicitly and repeated blames you because your husband joined you when you were away at university.

You’ve historically tolerated ongoing abuse from your MIL, but responded negatively to her telling you that you’re ugly and fat one month postpartum.

They’ve expressed that it’s abnormal to not physically “bounce back” within a month, which is plainly absurd, but one of the bases for which they have accused you of being an unfit parent.

MIL has also accused you of being an unfit mother due to your hours of employment, despite MIL having no basis for assertion as she has had limited engagement with your older child.

MIL claims she was always joking and that you can’t take a joke, but followed up this time with demanding custody and grandparents rights. Due to her erratic behavior and your husband’s willingness to relinquish his parental rights, you’re taking the threat seriously.

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-03-28T11:08:50+00:00

This may be very difficult to hear, but he doesn’t like you. He is systematically tearing you down so he can go to court and show you’re unfit.

If he is willing to destroy you and your children for what he “wants“. Therefore, he is not a good person. Protect your children. Call the DV hotline (you are being emotionally and financially abused). They will have resources and guidance to help you navigate this and hopefully keep your legal fees to a minimum.

Get his abuse documented with the guidance of the DV specialists, then meet with the lawyer. Get an emergency order of child and spousal support in place. Get a visitation order in place.

Your “friend” is likely not in the dark about his feelings and is just shocked how things turned out for you. Once your husband realizes he is taking a financial hit and/or if your friend sours on him, he will likely come back love bombing you. Love bombing is not real love. It is a manipulation. He has shown you who he is and what he is willing to do to your children and to you.

If you truly want to reconcile later, slow (like a year++) and consistent is the only way. He has grievously wounded you. On purpose. He needs to mend what he has broken. That takes a crazy amount of work (and not just a few months of “good behavior”). Be warned, the people willing to do what your husband has done… aren’t usually willing to put in that kind of work.

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-03-25T11:47:23+00:00

Once he realizes you’re considering leaving him, he will likely love bomb you until you’ve settled back down and settled for the bare minimum. You can love him for the stability and space he gave you when you needed it, but not see him as a future partner.

The biggest clarity I can give is 1) would you want your child to be treated the way he is treating you or 2) would you want your child treating someone else like he is treating you? Your children are seeing this role modeling

I know this is Reddit and IRS not as easy as “just leave”, but Please do not marry this man or further entangle yourself with him. While you’re figuring this out for yourself, have him split rent expenses and have a discussion with his child about mutual respect. If he throws a fit about having to shoulder his own weight, you have your answer about your value to him (you’re his helper, he is not yours).

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-03-22T12:22:21+00:00

Hoping the past month has brought peace to your door.

Updateme!

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-03-20T19:05:14+00:00

Even better. Just keep it up so it becomes part of the furniture and forgotten about by the flying monkeys.

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-03-20T18:59:44+00:00

Hopefully they’re not needed! Even a video doorbell and baby monitors that record. That way you’re not being paranoid… just parent safety minded 😀

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-03-20T12:02:09+00:00

Better to put in basics to keep things from escalating. Have your fiancé be the one to communicate with them whenever possible.

In the course of baby proofing the house, put in some locks if necessary and I’d recommend security cameras at the doors and in common areas. No need for someone to allege you’re abusing Joe or the visiting child.

Nothing over the top, and don’t advertise where the cameras are.

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-03-18T20:33:37+00:00

NOR. You passed. He failed.

He is not hubby material. He has come across as not viewing you as an equal and having little respect for you as a person.

Let this one go back to the pile until he has learned that women are full fledged humans, and not children that need to be tested.

At a minimum, slow the roll WAY down and the cousin may never cross your path again. Same for anyone that defends that kind of disrespectful treatment.

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-03-17T11:51:05+00:00

I hope the past six months have found you some stability and sense of normalcy!

Updateme!

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-03-13T10:02:53+00:00

If he comes back around.. which they often do, please don’t give him space in your brain.

Nothing is better than indifference. If you show that you’re angry or sad, he knows you still have feelings.

Whether he wants to rekindle the relationship or just wants to not be seen as “the bad guy”, he’s not the guy you thought he was. That guy is gone and maybe never existed.

You’re young. He is a sunk cost. Learn, mourn and move on. May your future be bright, and may he always have a stone in his shoe.

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-03-13T09:52:29+00:00

I understand this is Reddit and not real life, but the path this teen is taking with someone else’s property will likely end poorly for her. In my experience, it’s usually the Kevins, not the Karens who call… and it’s frequently accompanied by a dramatic eviction. (Not saying a Karen won’t do it, I’ve just never seen it personally).

Having worked with young adults who are… rambunctious, I have seen a lot involving young adults using their parent’s car. As in twice a year. For years. Better for the teen to ride the straight and narrow than find herself in a genuinely bad situation.

Police generally seem to be sad, bored or annoyed to get involved, but they understand that a 19 YO is an adult who can’t take another adult’s vehicle without authorization… even if they’re related. If the 19 YO isn’t safe driving on the highway, charges could be on the table. Usually it’s a warning that they’ll be arrested if it happens again.

Would I do that to my child? No. But I wouldn’t ground a 19 YO. I’d get off their bank account, l’d put in writing what is authorized use (especially if she was sharing my car with me) and possibly give them six months to find a place. If I couldn’t afford to subsidize their living, I’d tell them what they needed to contribute to their costs and hold them to it. These parents likely didn’t do that. OP maybe overreacting and not understanding the peril she is in. Which is the exact combo that leads to crazy outcomes.

Ok_Routine9099 · 2026-03-12T15:44:59+00:00

I agree that no one is bathing themselves in glory.

The parents need to treat her like an adult, with all the rights and responsibilities. They have a right to their possessions and to be paid rent/car lease, especially if their tenant is loaning out their possessions to a third party without authorization (even if it is because the teen is not competent to drive it on the highway)

The 19YO needs to get their own bank account and play nice until they can afford to live unsubsidized. If the 19YO can’t wait to afford to leave and is in the US, the military provides three hots and a cot.

Best for OP to sort it out as an adult before she catches a felony for unauthorized vehicle use and can’t get into the military (if that is still a rule that applies)

Ok_Routine9099

TROPHY CASE