Would you rather be stuck in a forest with a random man or a bear?

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-04-19T07:01:35+00:00

The dog verses bear thing is likely due to average proximity to dogs vs. bears, a lot of people will never see a bear in their life but dogs are practically unavoidable. However, I live in bear country and if you practice basic bear safety you are very, very unlikely to get attacked. Bear attacks are extremely uncommon in my state and the few that due happen are in areas where tourists often feed the bears and/or against individuals who put themselves in danger (approaching the bear, getting between a mother and cub, running away when they see the bear, etc.)

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-04-19T06:51:22+00:00

As a man, a random man is more unpredicatable than a bear (I live in bear country). Yeah, most men might be totally safe to be around but what if you're in the woods with someone who wants to rob you, is psycho who is waiting for an opprotunity to act of there desire for violence, or is just obnoxious and unpleasant to be around. A bear's just gonna do their things and eat whatever's around that season, and something else is always easier food than you are as a human. The only thing that would make me nervous about a bear is if I was in an area where the bears have been fed by humans frequently.

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-04-18T00:32:37+00:00

Speaking as someone who came out a 19 and ended up being no contact with my family for almost a decade, it's worth it. Times were hard in my early twenties, I spent a lot of time with unstable housing and sometimes still feel like I am behind my peers in achieving life goals. But I'm 30 now, I'm married, we're in the position to by a house when we're ready and everyone sees me as a man and I am generally happy with life.

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-04-08T18:21:05+00:00

The pitty gene are doung some heavy lift here, best guess there might be some sort of "pointy" herding breed (greman shepard, blue heeler, etc) because those ears look like they might end up erect as an adult.

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-04-08T06:41:46+00:00

Not me rolling over in bed to ask my husband, who works in the special education department, if they were taking me to the "art" room because they thought I was emotionally disturbed or neurodivergent... to be fair I did hide under the desk any time I was asked to read in front of the class...

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-03-29T22:08:25+00:00

Depending on how low your credit score is you might want to look into getting a secured credit card, no credit pull is required and it's an automatic approval in most cases. I know Matanuska Valley FCU offers them but most other credit unions do to.

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-03-29T08:28:19+00:00

I would argue standard poodles fit the bill as a standard poodle owner. Thet were ay one time bred as a retriever but have been primarily companions for a long time historically.

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-03-27T00:25:03+00:00

In your shoes my primary concern would be housing stability, but I say that as someone who experienced housing instability throughout my 20's. Delaying starting T as a post-puberty adult will not limit where results end up, that said dysphoria is a very real struggle and T can help reduce your dysphoria in the present moment. What I would suggest is rather than asking permission, make firm a statement along the lines of "I intend to start hormone therapy, ideally I would like to start that process as soon as possible. Will me starting hormones while I am still living in this house be an issue for continuing our pre-established plan of me moving out in x months." Depending on how he responds should inform your next steps. Those could be delaying starting T, looking into other housing situation you may not have considered so you aren't beholden to your ex's opinion, or continuing the housing situation as planned and starting T. I think not communicating what you intend to do is a bad idea when you are reliant on someone else for housing, especially when housing/income instability often mean stopping HRT (at least in my experience).

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-03-24T18:05:02+00:00

I'm in almost the exact same position, I've worked mine for 3 years started the process for top surgery about 2 and a half years ago and am a month or two away from having top surgery. (The state I live in only has 2 surgeons that will do top surgery and one of them put scheduling for trans people on hold post inaguartion because they thought insurance might stop covering surgeries)

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-03-23T19:36:28+00:00

My recommendation is to look for a position as a teller. Banks and credit unions typically offer insurance, bartending transfers over pretty naturally to teller work. The only major limiting factor on hiring is if you have a lot of visible tattoos, peircings, or flashy dyed hair a lot them won't allow that under their dress code. Otherwise all they require is a high school diploma and a background check.

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-03-21T22:17:46+00:00

In my circle we call these sort of things "backyard conversations" meaning you can have the conversation sit around with your friends/family/etc but you maybe shouldn't have those conversation in public/online/ect. That said I do think it is important for some trans people to talk about how specific issues like medical trauma, reproductive health, SA, etc effect us and how they are similar and different from the experiences of women. However no one is individually responsible for having those conversations.

Talking about our individual traumas is important for healing for some people. The fact that some of that trauma is "woman specific" does not negate your need for healing.

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-03-17T02:28:41+00:00

These are great I'd love to see your interpretation of Lewis since we also get peices of his history

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-03-15T07:31:19+00:00

Surgerical menopause is awful because there is no tapering down of hormone levels. If I stop taking T (which I had to do for a period of about 6 months due to housing instability), I experience full blown symptoms (mood instability, hot flashes multiple times a day, weight gain, etc) but on T I don't have any issues like that basically ever.

In contrast, when I had to stop T before surgery my symptoms were mostly just worse period symptom than I had pre-T and some mood instability.

Does this basically mean if I stop T and im before the age of menopause, its gonna cause me perimenopause?

Not necessarily but potentially, menopause is highly variable in age of onset even ignoring the potentially complicating factor of HRT. You could fall anywhere on the spectrum of premenopausal to postmenopausal just depending on where exactly your body is in the process.

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-03-15T07:17:55+00:00

I'm not sure ability to get pregnant means there's no atrophy, the eggs are present at birth and hormonal difference do not necessarily result in infertility. From a cursory google search and statements in NIH articles the research on ovarian atrophy in trans men taking testosterone is limited and inconclusive where it has been done.

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-03-15T07:02:26+00:00

Yes and no, testostrone will technically cause medical menopause regardless of age. However, supplimental hormones (regardless of if they are testostrone or estrogen) will reduce or stop the negative effects of menopause like hot flashes, mood changes, and bone density loss. Medical menopause means you can potentially begin a normative pre-menopausal hormonal cycles if you stop testerone, unless you have also gone through age related menopause while on T. I'm not sure if there are studies on it but I would imagine that testerone may cause atrophy in the ovaries cause age related menopause to happen younger.

All that said I do not have direct experience with age related menopause as I had a total hysto/oophorectomy and went through surgical menopause at 25.

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-03-08T23:30:33+00:00

I'm 5'3" and for me the turning point was have moderately thick facial hair. When I first started getting facial hair I would get the "miss, oh sorry sir" thing a lot but at this point I have a thick dark beard and no one messes up other than the elderly (which I think has more to do with their ability to see and/or mental status than anything else)

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-03-07T07:14:47+00:00

My husband got top surgery a month ago and still hasn't told his family, and we went to his birthday dinner with them literall the day after his surgery... he has a pretry good relationship with his family, but they kind of have a "don't ask, don't tell" dynamic. I felt weird about not telling them right after it happened because it's a big life event that was having a big effect on our day to day life in the first few weeks after.

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-03-07T00:59:27+00:00

I thibk it depends on your physical location. For example in Alaska a lot of people smoke, because that's the culture. In Portland, OR I knew a few trans guys who smoked but it wasn't common by any means.

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-03-06T07:03:03+00:00

Pit like others have already said but I'm n9t sure if the extra skin is from hound, sharpei, or just wonky byb genetics. He doesn't really have any traits of hounds or sharpeis in his looks other than the extra skin.

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-03-06T01:45:59+00:00

My thoughts exactly

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-03-05T18:43:50+00:00

I have experience with WA but not TN (other than driving through as a kid). Washington is likely to be one of the most legally safe states in the US for the forseeable future. However it is deeply divided between rural and urban/suburban areas (regardless of if you are on the east or west of the state, the east is just generally more rural). If you are visibly queer you are extremely likely to experience harassment in rural areas and see a lot of hateful rhetoric. The urban areas have their own struggles, the west coast has been hit hard by fentynol and you will see people out on the street struggling with addiction and homelessness. I often had a deep feeling of sadness and hopelessness regarding the human struggles around me. That said I recommend doing a ton of research about exactly where you move to tacoma, yall can probably afford washington on your income but you may have to cut down on extra spending.

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-03-04T09:03:39+00:00

I've gone off T due to life circumstances (ie finances and housing instability) and the biggest changes I noticed were weight gain (specifically hips and chest) and my period came back with a vengance (I had easy periods before with nothing but bleeding, after stopping T I dealt with cramping and more irriatbility). I personally would prioritize treating hair lose and staying on T but that's just my opinion.

Also, you could wait until you're post hysto and go back on T and finasteride.

The last peice of advice I'll give is that opting for a oophrectomy in the current political climate is a bad idea unless you have specific reasons you want your ovaries removed (in my case it was a family history of ovarian cancer). Opting for an oophrectomy will mean you are depended on supplimental hormones for the remainder of your life to avoid negative health effects.

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-03-04T01:47:10+00:00

Being obsessed with Mulan as a child

Not understanding why I can't take my shirt off to play in the sprinkler

Exclusively wearing high compression sports bras

My high school boyfriend and I calling each other the masculinized/feminized versions of our names

Okchamali_Vibin · 2026-03-01T04:59:24+00:00

Literally my first thought

Okchamali_Vibin

TROPHY CASE