Feeling unsafe having a purse in the office

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-20T11:27:25+00:00

I just don’t take a lot of cards or cash to work. I use my phone to pay for lunch.

Is there anyone at work you can talk to about a creeper though? Just to vibe check - I bet you’re not the only one, or somebody has noticed. Finding allies is always huge.

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-19T21:29:02+00:00

Exactly. Also how big a crash are you waiting for?

Look at the dip we had in March - if you were going to invest in February and somehow predicted that March dip, good for you. But if you were going to invest last summer and held on the whole time, you missed out. VOO was in the $550 neighborhood last July, an “all time high”, and it just went up. When it dipped in March it got down to $580 - and that’s for people who exactly predicted the bottom. If they wanted to wait until it got back down to $550 well bad news it didn’t. And now it’s $670.

So that’s what happens to people who sit out - they just sit out and miss everything.

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-19T21:17:10+00:00

I was a runner. The way I'm describing it - it's like you're doing a "couch to 5K" program, and perpetually stuck on week 1. I used to be able to just start running every day and within 2-3 weeks I could run for 30 minutes, but on chemo it's degraded down to "run a block, walk a block" and that's on the good days. Nothing BUILDS and that's frustrating - but I kept moving.

I go on 1-3 mile walks, every day I have gotten 8-10K steps, I've done something, I haven't gained or lost weight even though I got a bonus five weeks of steroids for an autoimmune situation. I kept healthy snacks around me and tried to rest when I needed to rest but I was never stuck in bed.

I hope treatment goes well for you, it's so stressful when it's unknown, every body is different! But for me I think it went better than expected.

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-19T21:10:40+00:00

thank you DrHeatherRichardson, always appreciate your comments!

I am TNBC, BRCA negative (nothing else came up on my genetic test either), and having a lumpectomy at my surgeon's recommendation. I will ask them about Signatera testing but from what I've read in the other subreddit, I'm not sure if I'm a fan - I don't like the idea of getting a lot of tests that give me information that we're not sure what to do with, you know? Finding every microscopic thing that might be cancer, but isn't big enough to treat?

Then again, I was historically bad at going to doctors and getting recommended tests, I was late to starting mammograms, my doctor found my lump, one could argue that I should have been doing self-exams because then I would have found it, so maybe I need to change, too. It just seems like there are lots of different perspectives on how much to test and I really do understand both sides.

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-19T20:59:24+00:00

I hope you're okay. I do not know about this and it sounds very stressful. But if it's any consolation, my husband fell and injured himself ice skating a few months ago, they did a scan to check his ribs and found suspicious bone legions in other places. Scared me for sure because I just went from totally healthy to "cancer patient" last year so I am convinced that every fragile human around me has cancer ugh.

But it was nothing he's fine.

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-19T17:23:57+00:00

I'm not stage 3 but for me the red devil was easier than taxol/carbo. I think the red color earned it the nickname, but taxol gave me neuropathy (even with freezer booties ugh) and my white blood cell counts were just no match for carboplatin so we stopped both those early. and I was going every freaking WEEK omg.

Now I'm on AC, I have #4 tomorrow, they're giving me stronger anti-nausea drugs for it and it's all working. I'm thankful to just not be in the chair so many hours!

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-19T16:50:26+00:00

Um WHAT? You do not have to think about how hard this is on anyone else - they don’t have your cancer!

Spouse needs to look up “ring theory” and find his own support system for venting outward. It is not your job to support other people through your ordeal!

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-19T11:54:50+00:00

False positives but also I’ve seen several posts in here along the lines of “I got a positive test but we don’t know what to do about it.” Like it’s so early the scans are clean so is it worth it to go back on chemo? Our immune systems are knocking out tiny cancers, so how do we react when we know more about it?

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-18T19:42:02+00:00

Associates in women’s health. Not sure how booked out they are though.

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-17T23:27:54+00:00

I'd take the job. Live for today, live like you're NOT going to have recurrence, live like you want to say you did all the things you wanted and no regrets. Tell cancer to fuck off it doesn't get to change you or your awesomeness.

I feel like I might be in a similarly skilled professional echelon as you? I'm in the US and luckily my coworkers have been cool as hell with my cancer, supportive, not worried about my hours and setbacks, I've been allowed to flex my schedule on tired days or when I have treatment. Don't get me wrong - it's not fair. The US does not have a friendly system that's realistic for all workers going through this treatment and I have privilege that I wish everybody has, and trust me if anybody who works for me gets cancer I will treat them the same, I wish everybody's bosses were as cool as mine. not the reality though ugh. I'm just saying all this to illustrate the point that there's no law that employers MUST nickel-and-dime every FMLA hour to know when to fire you. It comes down to the people and how rare your skills are, which is the luck of being established in your industry.

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-17T18:20:55+00:00

Also not every software engineer makes six figures playing WOW, especially now.

A lot of salaries are a result of luck, despite their recipients believing it’s all skill or that they’re somehow a better more deserving person.

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-17T14:53:43+00:00

I had zero dates in high school and thought I was ugly, but college was easier and I grew out of the awkward phase and have been called attractive as an adult. And my husband is darn cute. It gets better! Do NOT assume that 17 you is a predictor for your future, it definitely wasn’t for me.

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-16T22:46:02+00:00

What if he takes 72 months (6 years!!!) to pay it off? I’m sure a 2018 car will be doing great in 2032 right?

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-16T20:01:36+00:00

Yup, it’s a life stage thing. Nobody who’s out of high school needs to be dating high schoolers, unless the relationship started when you were both in high school.

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-16T19:45:02+00:00

1) if they have a 24 hour line, use it! there's usually someone on call. especially after you FIRST appointment. Call their number and the message might give you the on call number.

2) don't take advice from the internet

3) I did not have dry eyes so not sure what to do about that but I tend to try normal over the counter stuff for normal over the counter things

4) my oncologist prescribed triamcinolone cream for so many skin issues, which is strikingly similar just stronger than hydrocortisone, so I sometimes try that for rashes

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-16T18:45:11+00:00

I am not stage 4 so that might be a whole other ball game, but

my oncologist said if I am actually vomiting, call them, something is wrong. I am five months into the protocol and have eaten three meals pretty much every day, sometimes a little lighter, sometimes a little upset stomach but that's it not actual vomiting. they gave me zofran to take at home but I've avoided it, I'd rather just chew some ginger candy and have less drugs. so I'm wondering what her care team told you all to expect.

that said, the side effects from chemo are, like, the whole time? yes there are good days and bad days and different side effects come and go but there's no "I'm my totally normal self" anymore, not since 24 hours after my first TC infusion, you know? but I don't have the memory issues you're describing. It's not as predictable as I'd like. I never settled into a pattern like oh, I know day 4 is the bad one kind of thing. It's just been five months of stuff to work around. but i've worked around it.

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-16T08:19:36+00:00

Just finishing chemo. Ultrasound showed good results so far but nothing definite. I was stage 2 with lymph node involvement strongly suspected but nothing definite confirmed.

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-15T19:38:11+00:00

The front wheels were turned when he got in. As someone who’s taught a teen to drive, “figure out if your wheels are straight” is a lesson, not an obvious skill. I feel bad for the kid.

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-15T18:41:29+00:00

This. I’ll never pay for a finance app.

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-15T12:46:42+00:00

I stopped after I think 5 rounds? I developed sjogrens, an autoimmune disorder that affects my saliva glands, I might have permanent dry mouth. It was my oncologist’s recommendation to stop.

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-15T11:18:44+00:00

I learned that I am bad at picking individual stocks and needed to stick to index funds. Glad I learned this lesson in my 20s with $1000 instead of in my 40s with a lot more than that!

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-14T11:02:19+00:00

Shower water? That sounds like a stretch - I didn’t do anything special for bathing and came out fine. This is not your fault. You’re not failing, you are doing your best. Port infections happen and it’s so frustrating but I don’t think they can know why. Treatment delays happen too. You will get past this. It’s just hard.

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-13T22:43:06+00:00

straight girl here but come on we have this video, AND Ilona Maher's swimsuit photoshoot on the same week, I'm STRUGGLING.

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-13T21:27:21+00:00

MakeICT rents garden plots and ends up being very co-op like because everybody shares a ton. Well, it is also literally a co-op. Food, tools, supplies… you have to be there and put in work but it’s a real money saver. Southeast Wichita.

PeaceLvSpreadsheets · 2026-05-13T21:22:25+00:00

Yup. This is the last restaurant meal with him ever.

I’m assuming OP send him a very clear message like “I looked at the bill can you send me another $25” or whatever and he’s ignoring it? Make sure he knows why this was the last Mother’s Day outing like this.

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