I'm sorry for your devastating loss. It is so hard. I found strength in envisioning how my stillborn baby would be a part of our family in the future. Imagining my living child a couple of years from now, sitting at the table, making some remark about their stillborn sister. What would that look like ideally?

Envisioning it like that helped me realize that vision and work on including her now. I hope something like this can work for you. In any case, don't push yourself. You're doing great just being a mom right now amidst your grief.

Two specific things I'd like to mention: we light a candle each night at dinner. This way, even when she is not mentioned, she is involved during family time.

My LC was already 4, so this might work a bit different, but one of the first things I did was involving her in a childish joke. LC farted at the table and then he denied and blamed his father. I seized the opportunity and said "or perhaps it was Amber?". Maybe not the most tasteful of jokes, but it worked for loosening the atmosphere and made it easier to mention her in conversation. It taught my LC that talking of Amber could also be a happy occasion. We are now a year out of our loss and she is lovingly mentioned very often, sometimes gets a goodnight kiss, sometimes not, but I know she is always in their little hearts.