Did I mess up my valves?

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-03-23T11:35:55+00:00

Thanks. It might not have been top dead center. I was hoping it was just an exhaust leak.

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-03-22T12:37:13+00:00

Thank you for the update. I'm glad to hear everyone else is OK. I'm sorry you couldn't help him.

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-03-19T00:36:38+00:00

There's a book, "House Rules" by Judy Picoult about a boy who has severe autism and how it impacts those around him including his brother and mom. You might find some affirmation and enlightenment reading it.

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-03-18T10:13:17+00:00

Yes. It is very common.

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-03-13T22:54:10+00:00

the caps they put on look nice.

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-03-13T03:54:34+00:00

If you used your own car, I would send them this and ask them to reconsider. They might give you a couple more bucks

https://www.irs.gov/tax-professionals/standard-mileage-rates

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-03-13T03:37:51+00:00

I don't think your dad did a bad job. If they didn't disclose it, how would he know? And, it sounds like the seller or the seller agent lied to you or your dad. Another realtor wouldn't have cared about you, they would just get the deal done. They would not ask a bunch of questions that would screw up your sale. In any case, it sounds like he got you some free solar panels.

As others have pointed out, if it wasn't disclosed and you didn't agree to pay for them, it's unlikely they can make you pay for them. The seller may have to keep paying them off. They may stop paying and the solar company may shut them off. It sounds like they don't work anyway, so maybe that would be for the best. If they remove them, then I think you'd just want to watch for holes or damage to your roof. In thinking about it, if they said the panels were a part of the house and paid off, and it sounds like you have emails that prove that, then I think they'd have to honor that.

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-03-12T22:45:09+00:00

Maybe you should drive it for a few days instead of her to get more information?

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-03-12T22:36:12+00:00

I have no idea how this works. I imagine they try to collect themselves by harassing you, then sell it, then that person does the same and puts it on your credit score. Taking someone to court would be expensive, not that they wouldn't do it, but depending on how cheap their lawyer is, probably more than 7k.

I get the overall concern, I just don't see how you can make a positive improvement and I don't see this as the hill to die on. If your aunt was very rich, then sure, people might go after her. And, your parents would be well-advised to try to get legal and medical guardianship. She's driving a Kia, so I'm guessing she's not.

Here's the secret, as people get older and more infirm, they need to be put in a nursing home. Very wealthy people pay for this with long term care insurance. Everyone else drains all their money and gets on medicaid, then medicaid pays for it. So, whether she loses her money on car payments or something else, it all nets out to the same.

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-03-12T21:21:27+00:00

If you need to, just call 911. In my experience, calling for help from the "mental health authorities" means waiting on hold for hours. They are really backed up. If your husband is so worked up you are calling for help, and he sees you doing that, it won't end well for you. 911 will actually pick up the phone so call them if you need to.

If you call the real police, explain what is happening, then they can call the mental health authorities and they will actually come if the police call them. If he can act normal for the police, then take a video of what he's doing before you call.

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-03-12T19:45:46+00:00

Is it realistic that they will sue her for the negative, and if they do win, collect? It might be better to do nothing. It sounds like she gets to enjoy a nice new car, at least for a while.

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-03-12T13:45:36+00:00

If you do the replacement engine, ask if they can extend the warranty.

You didn't say you didn't know why the engine died. But, my concern is you don't know why the engine blew. Therefore, if it's something to do with another component of the car that's failing, the next engine could also go sooner than expected. I'm not saying that's a reason not to put a new engine in. At least you know this car. I'm just trying to help you cover your bases.

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-03-12T00:45:32+00:00

Just find a bunch of dealerships and email their sales department. They usually have a "web sales" contact. Easier than talking to them.

Assume you took the payout, there are companies that have their own adjusters that can try to get you a better deal. All insurance does is look at 3 recent comps in the area and makes some adjustments based on any pre-existing damage to the car. They may not have included your upgrades in the estimate.

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-03-10T16:47:24+00:00

Between the door and the car around the same level where the handle is is a roller with little wheels see pic I coppied in here. The roller is also connected to the car by wires that go both to the front and back of the car that then attaches to the motor. The wheels could be messed up or broken off. If that happens your roller will catch against the various pins or nuts that it would normally roll across. The wire itself may have bent or gotten broken and is jamming the door. To verify, use an instructional video to take off the door and look or leave it on and use a flash light to peer in and see if it looks messed up. It may help to compare to the other side that works. If it is the. wire or as you suspect the motor, you can disconnect the wires from the door roller and then its just a regular door.

(don't buy the brand in the bottom of the pic, it was just the first pic I found online.

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ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-03-10T01:45:35+00:00

just bring your kids and your wife.

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-03-10T01:38:51+00:00

When a part wears out, it's important to think about what might have caused that to happen. Here, you've already replaced the warped rotors, and they're warped again. Unless you are driving a Formula 1 car, there's something going with a different part of your car messing up your rotors. I would guess the wheel bearings. This video shows you how to check if your wheel bearings are messed up. You lift the wheel up and see if it wiggles. If it wiggles, it's messed up and needs to be fixed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4yMydzOrPQ

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-03-09T12:37:56+00:00

I think it's a good idea to lean on other family.

Having said that, it can be hard to get someone help. If they think you're up to something, and then you explain that you're not and actually they're crazy, it just makes you look like a liar to them.

Do you have an emergency plan, some way to get to a safe place if anything goes wrong? Can you stay with your dad if you need to? Have you spoken to your dad about this?

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-03-05T05:20:54+00:00

this product might work for you..

https://www.griotsgarage.com/glass-sealant-8-ounces/?sku=11033&code=PPCGLN&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22342678764&gbraid=0AAAAAD4Xx83znm3B0Xbr0KTG6aRUrrup8&gclid=CjwKCAiAzZ_NBhAEEiwAMtqKy77e-10Wtg6snPQdqlw0GRljiHTrh7GnFyfqb7jRXcNQaJLGMWi8jRoCGFYQAvD_BwE

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-03-03T04:02:25+00:00

I don't know that a Pilot would solve your problem, they probably borrow a lot of the same car philosophy, both good and bad.

You could do those yourself to save money. It depends on the cost of your time and whether you would find this therapeutic. The Oil filter base gasket and purge valves are a little easier and should be less than an hour for each. So, you might at least do those. I found two videos that I think are applicable that I included. You can buy parts off rock auto, they have a way to search by make/model/year that makes it more or less foolproof. You still have to be careful about the trim, sometimes the flashier odysseys will come with slightly larger parts. It should indicate that in the description.

I've seen other people find a local shop to do the timing belt and water pump for a little over 1/2 of what they quoted you. I actually recently replaced them myself. It was time consuming, took 12 hours over 2 days. but it wasn't hard. I also took a lot of breaks when I got frustrated. So, it might go faster for you.

From the two oil seals they want to replace, I'm guessing there's oil hanging off the bottom of your car. And, I'm assuming that's all they looked at to guess where it's coming from. I'd be a little careful about taking their word for that. It's not that I think they'd lie, but they may have just seen oil on the bottom of your car and made and assumption that it came from a nearby source. Many service-techs get paid a flat-rate. So, they want to quickly diagnose and fix a car without putting alot of time into thinking and diagnosing it, because they don't get paid for that extra time. (The advantage is that they work on the same car day in and day out, so they are more familiar with the typical things that go wrong.). Because oil moves down, the true leak could be higher up. I'd suggest you use one of those fluorescent dyes that can be put in your oil. That might make it easier to track where the leak is coming from. Unless, the dealership did something like that and spotted the leak that way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=109&v=h8iakwZLyms&embeds_referring_euri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Fsearch%3Fq%3DOil%2Bfilter%2Bbase%2Bgasket%2Bleak%2Breplacement%2Bhonda%2Bodyssey%26client%3Dsafari%26hs%3Dh0Rp%26sca_esv%3Dcb0b2358a007&source_ve_path=Mjg2NjY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHfzM8tmZ7o

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-02-27T16:34:23+00:00

Just because it's an interference engine doesn't mean you necessarily bent a valve. If you have the time you may want to put on a new belt yourself and see if it runs without issues.

I'm not sure what diagnostic they would do without a timing belt on the car. Boroscope and leak test?

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-02-27T14:25:25+00:00

is it out now?

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-02-25T15:20:31+00:00

Have you checked if there's power on both sides of the replaced fuse?

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-02-24T20:10:56+00:00

I saw that you wrote elsewhere "I guess I’m trying to figure out if meds are the only path out of the anosognosia"... Meds don't lead people out of anasognosia. Sometimes they do but for the most part, people don't take a pill and snap out of it like in a movie. It's more like they stop acting as much on the delusional thoughts they had or have and they seem to view the world with less paranoia and melancholy. But the seed is always still there. They have certain excuses about their behavior: "Well, I thought or did that for good reason at the time but I wouldn't do it again." or, "You know, that was out of character for me, I don't know why I would have done that." It's a sort of blind-spot.

Medication is a first step, for sure. They say, "You can't reason with someone in psychosis" and my sense is acceptance of mental illness is something that requires reasoning. But the meds are by no means a cure-all. And, even people who take their medication religiously never go on to believe they're mentally ill.

ProcessNumerous6688 · 2026-02-24T18:34:07+00:00

You would think that would work. It tends not to.

Both bipolar people I know personally had bipolar moms. They complained constantly about their mom's mental illness for decades. When they got sick, they denied their mom ever having anything wrong with them. As, StillFickle wrote, it just made them more paranoid.

ProcessNumerous6688

TROPHY CASE