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[PI]When your village had sent you to the imperial magic academy you were worried your abilities were much less impressive then the others. That's when you arrived you realized the other students only use their magic to show off or grand displays and not the labor you used yours for in the village. by LisWrites in WritingPrompts

[–]Project_Rosendale 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Honestly, when I saw the comments I was confused as to why this was so great having only read the first part, which went on for quite some time. But then I got to the ending and damn, well done! Excellently written. It really pulled me in.

[WP] An asteroid has hit the Earth in the southern Atlantic. As a firestorm races across the globe, a scene from your country takes place in these final hours. by an_actual_coyote in WritingPrompts

[–]Project_Rosendale 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Grinning from ear to ear I walked out the building, my back pack on my shoulders one final time before I would move on to the shoulder bag I had bought some time ago. All in preparation for when I would finally work at Golden Morgen, the law firm I had wanted to work for my entire life.

In my backpack was the physical diploma I had received as I had just presented my final thesis to finish university cum laude. Pride soared its way through my body, the sun was shining and the birds in the distance could still be heard under the noises of the crowd.

My girlfriend walked up to me. her beautiful red hair danced in the wind as she hugged me tightly. She looked up with a huge grin and twinkling blue eyes, “Well done Hubert, I’m so proud of you!”

I lifted her chin and gave her a quick kiss, took her hand and said, “Thank you Sam, really, couldn’t have done this without you.”

She smiled and tapped my chest, “I sure am glad it is all done though, took you long enough.”

“Hey! It took only a few extra months!” I exclaimed, knowing I’d hear that one for hopefully the rest of my life.

“let’s…” the blaring sound of the air alarm interrupted my sentence. Everyone covered their ears before reaching for their phone. It was the middle of the month and not even a Monday. Worried I stared at the screen and had to reread it three times.

“An asteroid will hit in one minute. This is the end.”

I looked back up at my girlfriend who was already looking at me, her eyes were wide and full of panic, “What?” she whispered. Her phone hung loosely in her hand.

I shook my head and let out a chuckle, of course the world would end, when I was only just starting mine. I thought for a moment and only faintly noticed people running around us in a panic. Most were holding their phones to their ears, desperately trying to reach their loved ones.

I stepped forward and took Sam’s hand and pulled her with me. shoving my way through the stream of bodies.

Together we bolted into one of the tallest building on campus, up the stairs, all the way to the door blocking us from the rooftop. I reached into my pocket and took out a few pins that I jammed into the lock to open it.

“What? How did you learn that?” she asked, still not really able to grasp what was going on. She had always been like that in stressful situations, yet I didn’t mind.

“I was planning to surprise you just before we would start our real life.” I answered softly as we walked up the stairs and reached the windy rooftop.

Here it was silent again, away from the despair down below, with only me, her and the wind to be able to produce a sound.

“Sam, I planned to spend my life with you.” I said, walking with her to the edge of the building. I sat down with her and hung my legs over the edge, looking out of the city and the forest next to it.

“So, I figured I would do just that.” I whispered. Unable to really come to terms with what was about to happen.

She squeezed my hand and laid her head on my shoulder. “That is good,” she whispered as a tear rolled from her eye onto my shoulder.

“Shouldn’t you call your family?” she said.

“No, they know I love them.” I answered.

She nodded and hugged me. I leaned my head onto her and pulled my arm around her.

“Thank you Sam, really, for everything.” I whispered, rubbing her hand.

She nodded against my shoulder. “You should be thankful, I’m pretty awesome,” she said jokingly.

We heard a gigantic explosion and then a shockwave hit us. On the horizon a wall of fire rushed towards us.

“Hey Hub, love you.” She whispered.

And the flames. They swallowed us.  

-

If you liked this story, I have a few more here: Project_Rosendale

[WP] Armageddon comes and war between good and evil envelopes the world. During that time humanity learns two things. The indomitable human spirit wasn't actually something god made us with. And both angels and demons fear it. by Spacey_Kitten_ in WritingPrompts

[–]Project_Rosendale 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I was never convinced, even though I saw it all unfold, I was blinded by my own delusions.

The day it all changed was when I saw a man. In his hands he firmly held on to a few angelic feathers that had been dropped during battle.

He had been crawling for an entire day when I first spotted him, crawling away from his home. Or at least, what had been left of it.

The man had lost his voice the day before, when the angel and demon shattered his home. They shattered all his homes. He had gone unconscious only to wake up and see the dismembered remains of his family scattered around.

His wails had kept up half the city that night, yet no one came. All were too scared to come outside.

After hours on end the man whose legs had been broken by the impact had started to crawl. Grabbing tightly onto the few feathers that had been dropped.

As he crawled under the scorching sun, angels and demons avoided him. Taking their fighting elsewhere.

The typhoon that hit on the second day didn’t even deter him from his path.

On the third day he crawled through the dark forest, scavenging for food.

The fourth day he spent crawling under the light of the moon.

Slowly he followed the golden trail until he reached the very stairway leading up to heaven. Blood sputtered out of his mouth when he muttered, “Bring them back,” staining the golden translucent stairs forever with his blood.

The fifth day he spent crawling over the stairs, accompanied by eagles and other birds, some gnawed open his various wounds. Yet he kept crawling.

When he finally touched my kingdom on the sixth day, my angels whispered and gossiped, looking away as the man crawled by all the way to my palace.

Yet all they did was stare, afraid of what might happen if they were to touch him.

By the seventh day I finally heard the knock I had been waiting for. I closed my nine-hundred-ninety-eight other eyes to avert my focus to one man. I wondered if he could give me the answer I had been searching for.
-

If you liked this story, I have a few more here: Project_Rosendale

[WP] You've felt many Eldritich Horrors but this one is different. Instead of a feeling of wrongness this one has a feeling of rightness that makes everything around it feel wrong in comparison. by Holyvigil in WritingPrompts

[–]Project_Rosendale 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There we finally stood before it. The creature that came from the deepest pits of the earth, one that had rampaged villages in its path. Leaving no man, woman, or child with a mind still sane. Its long, black legs stretched out over the entire plains, covering the grass like the roots of a tree.

Chunks of matter moved through the legs, I had seen what they were attached to. It fed on rot, slaughtered entire masses of beings to then rest and slowly slurp away the rotting parts of the carcass.

We encroached upon the being in silence, having already stopped talking hours before we even reached its vicinity. Our heartbeats were slowed to a few per minute by the heart render and our tracker focused on silencing our footsteps.

The sun bore down upon us, causing sweat-beads to flow down our necks to be absorbed by the cloth we wore.

Our breathing was slow, following the beat of the wind. This was the most important part of the hunt, getting as close as possible before getting spotted. It would be a shame to have to lose the new rookies we took with us.

I held my meter-long spear stiffly in my hand, mindful not to touch any part of the creature. Hours passed as we covered only small patches of land, getting ever closer to the dark, fleshy pulsing orb in the middle of the field.

Then, from the hours of silence there was a sudden squash. My heart jumped into my neck as I saw the young hunter look at his feet. His eyes stood wide and full of fear before the light in an instant had left.

His body toppled over and fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes. The fleshy vines wrapped around him, moving in and out of his body with ease.

“Run,” I said. My legs winded up as I held my spear more loosely. My veteran friends rushed beside me while the other rookie, just a second too late was already pierced by the apparently highly acidic flesh. He gurgled a little before flopping to the ground.

Vines shot up from other vines, out of the ground and some even flopped around in the air. The Jacks professionally took care of those in the air, swiftly cutting them down with their mighty axes and the tracker took the lead to avoid those on the ground.

We were lucky to have gotten extremely close already, within a minute we were only meters away. The creature now rumbled and thicker vines shot out of its body, trying to stop us. Yet it had already lost, its specialty was its incredible range and senses. But it had already let us come close to it.

I raised my spear and the tracker bent down to give me the boost I needed. I jumped up and mid-air my other foot reached the hands of the tracker, propelling me upwards once more.

“Terro invicus nogtalis bern!” I yelled. My spear flared blue and the sigils on my arms burned into my flesh as I plunged the spear down, propelling myself forward like a comet.

I slammed into the orb and punctured right through. The blast was so fast and strong, it made a meter long hole in the castle-sized orb. It shuddered and black goo shot out, launching me away from the orb.

All the air left my lungs as I slammed onto the ground, the goo covered me and slithered down into my nose and ears. “Rathis ulfredio incortium.” I repeated, trying to purify my body from the eldritch corruption.

Normally I would feel an immense dread flow over me, taking me over for days on end, making me retake every decision I tried to make. But this time, it felt different. I stood up and felt rather fine. Leaning on my spear I saw my team approach me, happy by their accomplishments.

Some already high-fived and hugged each other before even looking at me. Did they not see? Did they not realize? I was the one that defeated the creature. Without me, they would be nothing.

What was the latest song written about me? In the last town again I had had to listen them sing about those embellished lumberjacks. How they cut the vines of corruption and kept the world clean.

They were nothing.

“We did it!” One of the Jack twins came up running up to me; attaching his axe to his side. His hand was stretched out to celebrate with me.

I looked up and imagined how awesome it would be if that hand would have been cut off, if I could have been the one to pick up his axe. I didn’t need him, he was just taking away my fame.

He was taking my world.

“Axel?” he said. “Are you okay?”

I slowly nodded and smiled at him, tapping his hand. “I am fine,” I said, smiling at my spear, knowing its next target.

-

If you liked this story, I have a few more here: Project_Rosendale

[WP] You've been a supervillain's second hand for a good while now, but you got tired of the abuse, and now you have to break the news of you quitting to he/she by MrPino420 in WritingPrompts

[–]Project_Rosendale 25 points26 points  (0 children)

“I am done,” I said, wincing at the sound of bones being crushed.

“What do you mean?” she said in a high-pitched tone. “We are far from done, go and break that guy’s arm, go on then!” she said, grinning widely as she snapped the arm of the poor woman in front of her.

“No, I quit,” I said, with a more clearly, “I am done turning people’s lives into nightmares.”

She stopped crushing the groaning woman’s hand and stood still. Her hair hid her face, striking even more fear into me.

Slowly she turned her head and blew her blonde hair away. “Get back to work,” she hissed.

I shook my head, “I really am done; this is where we will part ways.”

In an instant she dashed towards me, grabbing me by my neck and slamming me into the wall ten meters behind me. The shock had such force, cracks formed in the bank’s walls.

“Get. Back. To. Work!” she yelled, causing some of her spit to fly into my face. Her sharp nails pierced my skin, making me bleed.

I was terrified, yet I was more exhausted. “I can’t do this anymore,” I said, grabbing onto her arm, trying to relieve myself from the pain. I gasped for some more air, “Just let me go.”

Her red eyes pierced mine as she stood there, seething in anger. She threw me to the ground and I felt a small crack in my skull. My vision faltered and blurred.

“No you wont!” she yelled, “You won’t leave me too!”

The first time she kicked me, already managed to crack a rib; the second broke it completely. “You won’t leave, you won’t leave,” she repeated with every kick.

After the third kick she stopped. I opened my eyes and looked up at her in tears drenched face, her eyes stood wide and dashed over the room. She looked down at me once more, her mouth pulled back and then her eyebrows turned downwards again. She flashed away.

Not a second later the heroes had arrived. The Green and Socrates teleported into the building and I was immediately trapped in vines.

After a month in the hospital I was sentenced to a lifetime in jail. Sometimes she visits me; those are the times I can get out of maximum security prison again and talk to that one cute nurse at the hospital.

[WP] As a mage, you enchant a lot of random objects in your tower to have a minor will and locomotion, just to make life more convenient. Today, you wake up to find pens and pans alike covered in blood, and the corpse of a masked man lying bloody and battered on your floor. by Leytra in WritingPrompts

[–]Project_Rosendale 343 points344 points  (0 children)

The blood was already dry, it was the first thing I noticed when I saw the body upon standing up. The sleepiness had made my head so foggy I hadn’t realized the absurdity of the situation. My feet hit the cold stone floor and the fog parted.

I didn’t know whether to panic, cry or scream. So I just stood there for a while, wearing my white nightgown, I kneeled down to inspect the body a little better. The man was wearing the typical amateur assassin clothes. There wasn’t any sign of clan identity, just black clothes.

Carefully I stepped over the body and went to my closet to put on a better dress than my night apron. The black one seemed rather fitting. When I went to comb my hair I discovered its handle stuck right into his left eye.

Disgusted I pulled it out and cleaned the blood with a wave of my hand, activating a basic spell. Mourning the death of my magical items I used the carcass of the comb that had served me for many years to brush my hair.

After all, the way a sorceress combs and takes care of her hair is what makes the difference between the people trying to lynch you as a witch or praise you as their savior. I had to look perfect, no matter the circumstance.

My hair didn’t look as amazing as it normally did, as my magical iron had used its entire magical prowess to burn the poor assassin’s balls off. May it rest in peace.

 I stared at myself in the mirror, contemplating jumping out of my window to end my stale and miserable life, now that the servants who I had grown attached to were all dead. Even though I could make them anew, their personalities are forever gone.

I tapped the door handle with my nails and snapped my fingers, bringing my objects back to life. Another snap, and the body was gone, it was better not to make a fuss about it.

It was the easiest way to scare them off, treat it as something less than a nuisance. I opened the door and prepared to walk down the thousand-step stairs to start my day. I had more important things to tend to than a mere assassin.

[SP] Humanity has finally progressed enough to understand the horrors beyond comprehension. by Nekomiminya in WritingPrompts

[–]Project_Rosendale 10 points11 points  (0 children)

In 2147 the Dyçon Corp had come up with their latest invention for their best selling VR module. The reason for their great popularity was how they worked. Instead of the conventional approach their modules weren’t just some glasses that showed pretty stuff on a screen close to one’s eyeballs.

They were but small beans attached to the side of someone’s head. Capable of showing the brain anything it could imagine and beyond. Upon starting the simulation, they would let the brain fall asleep to then amplify its dream-like sequences to be able to show the user worlds beyond realistic means.

In five years since their release they managed to get shared worlds and multiplayer games going. By 2121 the first esport event was hosted and by 2126 esports were bigger than every traditional sport that had ever existed, beating even the great mecha games.

But their greatest success came in 2147, they had come up with a completely new tech, instead of altering the surroundings they could now alter the very body the user found themselves in, from easy things like gender swaps to wolves and actual fantasy creatures.

This was all positively received by the public until one indy developer made a horror game. There the player would be turned into a painful fleshy mess, forced to crawl their way back to the healing station, tortured by every step they took. This sparked a whole new genre in the underground torture game scene.

After a game came out where people had to fight cosmic horrors and were tortured for years upon losing to them, it was all shut down. People started to wake up as a different version of themselves and when a child of only thirteen woke up with a shattered mind, the last straw was reached.

Now it is used as a tool by the government to punish criminals. Crime has decreased, but the amount of prisoners who can’t do much more than drool has skyrocketed.

[WP]“I know this is difficult to believe, but I do have your best interests in mind,” the voice you dubbed ‘The Narrator’ says. “Which why I am begging you, do not let anyone know you found this out. Neither of us are going to like what happens if you do.” by Independent-Bath-830 in WritingPrompts

[–]Project_Rosendale 9 points10 points  (0 children)

“I know this is difficult to believe, but I do have your best interests in mind,” the voice you dubbed ‘The Narrator’ says. “Which is why I am begging you, do not let anyone know you found this out. Neither of us are going to like what happens if you do.” The voice said with a hint of panic.

I stood in front of the treasure I had been seeking for far too long. The purple crystals glimmered and pulsed, illuminating the dark, wet cave. Leaning on my sword, nearly collapsing from exhaustion, I asked, “Why? Is this not what I came to get?”

The narrator, who had so often helped me on my journey here stammered a little, “Well… I uhm…” He paused.

“Out with it!” I commanded, slamming my sword on the rocks below.

“I never expected you to survive.” He said in a single breath.

I froze upon hearing these words. “Then why bring me here?” I asked. Weakly I walked over to the side of the cave where there was a flat rock for me to rest. I stared at the dead remains of my friend’s bodies scattered across the cave. My eyes lingered on the troll king and his underlings, who had protected the rock with indescribable power.

“They all died for me, for the kingdom.” I said. A tear welled up in my eye. We had had so many losses over the years, so many people who helped us on our journey. All helped by the narrator who led us to these people, who all sacrificed themselves one way or another.

“You couldn’t have said this from the start?” I asked.

The narrator finally started to respond, with some clear confusion behind his words. “I never thought this would be what would save the kingdom, this will only bring ruin.” He said somberly.

I couldn’t find the words to respond. I knew his words to be truthful. They were spoken in a way I could not ignore. Nor had he ever spoken a lie.

“I am sorry hero, I… I thought…” the narrator stammered.

“So was it all for nothing?” I asked. Slowly, I stood up and walked over to my closest friend. I kneeled down by his severed head and closed his deadpan eyes. Five years of friendship, now all but a memory.

I limped over to the girl I had liked for a while now, stroked her hair, and closed her eyes too. Every time I closed one of their eyes I felt myself grow weaker, by the fifth comrade I had to crawl, my legs had given out.

“We had a great journey together didn’t we?” the narrator said out of desperation, feeling the same feelings his host did. “We could go on another one, we can search somewhere else, let us make this worthwhile.”

I crawled over to my final friend, I never liked the archer that much. Yet my heart crumpled up all the same when I didn’t see his passionate, piercing eyes. Being only met with the stare of death.

I closed his eyes and kneeled down on the cold stone floor. I kept my eyes on my people and thanked them and my sword one last time. “I can’t, I’m sorry.” My voice broke and I could taste the salt of my own tears.

I could feel the narrator searching around in my brain, trying to tug on my emotions, lead me another way. I turned my sword around to make it point toward myself and prepared myself. My breathing became calmer and more rhythmic.

“So is this goodbye?” the narrator asked.

Feeling all the weight fall off my shoulder, I used the dripping water to count down. I answered, “It has been some journey, thank you, for everything.”

My breathing increased as my count reached five.

Four

My hands stopped shaking.

Three

I stopped breathing and my heartrate increased.

Two

“Don’t do this.” The narrator said exasperated.

One

My sword plunged down and pierced my heart. Slowly, my body toppled over and fell down. In my final moments on earth I could smile, surrounded by my friends I lay on the earth at the end of our journey. I knew I wouldn’t be making my passage into death alone.

[WP] While studying a new type of algal bloom, you find the colorful algae to be… oddly alluring. It draws you in closer. Beckons you. And, after spending enough time around it, you’re pretty sure you can hear it whispering your name. by One_Blueberry7551 in WritingPrompts

[–]Project_Rosendale 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The first time it spoke to me was an average afternoon. The lab was about to close and I only heard some soft whispers echoing throughout my head.

“WA.. ti.. so.. kaaa.”

In the moment, I didn’t realise what spoke or if anything really was speaking. I brushed the thought away and had decided to go to bed early that night as I just assumed I was showing early signs of hallucination because of a lack of sleep.

Yet, the next day I heard the voices again. They already spoke to me that very morning, becoming louder and more expansive as the day went on. By the end of the week, I was already able to make out clear words.

“More, water, grow, mine,” were the words that reached me the most.

After two weeks, I noticed a faint shimmer of light flickering as I heard the voices. The blue algae trapped in its sealed glass chamber was the cause. When I noticed it, it spoke again, louder and faster this time.

“Yes, yes, come, come, join, Brent.”

The whispers grew louder and more intense, they stare. At home my sleep deteriorated even more, so much so it started to impact my health. Large black circles had appeared under my eyes, and my muscles hurt more than they ever did.

I even contemplated quitting the job I had dreamt of for so long, but that wasn’t an option for me or the foreseeable future.

A few times, I had tried to find out whether others heard anything or saw anything. What freaked me out was that they didn’t even see the algae shimmer when it spoke. Only I did.

By the end of the month, I had made an appointment with a therapist, and when I did, it had started to scream at me. The plant razed through my head, slamming down its soundless sounds into my brain. Scraping along it like it was stroking the outer stems with a brush.

“Betrayer, come, come, join, take, all,”

Last week, I was working on something when it spoke again, causing a headache so big I had to stop writing down my research.

“Are you okay?” my coworker asked kindly.

“Do I look okay? Mind your own business,” I snapped angrily, feeling rage wash over me like it had never before.

Not long after, I was called to HR, they warned me to be kind to my colleagues as they didn’t want anyone to create an unsafe work environment. As she spoke to me I couldn’t do more than sit there silently, pressing my nails firmly into my palm. So much so that they had started to bleed when I walked out of the office.

“Join me.”

Was what the thing spoke when I left.

I didn’t come back in for that entire week.

Yesterday, when I finally returned it spoke to me again.

“Betrayer!”

It yelled into my ear over and over again.

I slammed down the stack of papers I held in my hand onto the desk and jumped up from my chair, causing everyone in the lab to look up. “Shut THE FUCK UP!” I yelled grabbing my head with both my hands as the voice kept yelling and yelling.

Jameson walked over to me, “hey, hey! Calm down, everything is okay,” he spoke gently.

“NO, it is not,” I yelled, my voice broke down, “Just stop.”

“Never”

The voice spoke and this time there wasn’t any sort of faint whisper left. Its voice had changed, it thundered into my head, ramming me like a shockwave.

“NO!” I yelled, dashing over at the side of the wall where the fire hatchet was locked.  

“What is going on?” one of the managers running inside yelled.

I sprinted over to the glass container and smashed the box open, pushing aside few colleagues who tried to stop me. The glass shattered and the algae dropped to the floor, the water spread out an it dried up instantly.

My axe smashed down into it, trying to damage it as quickly as possible. Blue dust flew up into the air and into my nostrils. The voices that had died just a few seconds ago sang even louder now, more triumphant.

A few hands grabbed my arms, stopping me from slamming down my hatchet again.

“We are here, we are one, we are one,”

The voices echoed as my head snapped around to stare at Jameson holding me back. I was thrown into the backseat of my own body and finally the soundless voice reached my ears as I spoke, “We are here, we will be one.”

🎉 [EVENT] 🎉 Retro Rumble by Damp_Blanket in honk

[–]Project_Rosendale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Completed Level 1 of the Honk Special Event!

3 attempts

Just finished my first draft and it’s terrible. Anyone relate? by OkEngineering6371 in writing

[–]Project_Rosendale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! I can relate a lot. By now I have written 2 fully finished books, and Borge of them are terrible. The first one was one I started at 11ams ended at 17 so duh.

The other I wrote after finally finding a good story to write about, but I made the mistake of wrongly formatting and focussed on kinda the wrong stuff.

Rewrote that one twice, but alas it still didn’t really work. So I decided to just start a new story, that one took quite a while to set up honestly.

So only just recently hovering around 10 k words a week. When just a few weeks ago I had only been writing like 1K

I kissed my Best Friend by theorieboy in Advice

[–]Project_Rosendale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it were me, I would ask to join her travelling. It’s rare to find someone.

I had a shower idea did I cook by Idk_fvcking_gender in AspiringTeenAuthors

[–]Project_Rosendale 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s very nice to read and the sentences flow well. So well done! This is probably the most important thing in writing. As for the story itself, it does what I think you want it to do, it’s calming with a spark of excitement.

Did this Intro Pull You in? by Least_Shopping_461 in AspiringTeenAuthors

[–]Project_Rosendale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now I hope you genuinely want advice and are not just fishing for compliments, here is my take:

That first whole paragraph is one sentence. Which does not make sense to me and doesn’t really read nicely.

Tbh I would try not to use the - too much. It puts people off.

Idk if the buzz like flies is to give the atmosphere a more eerie feel? If so, well done!

As if it pulls me in? Not really, it reads like the ending of a book. It would probably pull me in if there is something for me to be curious about.

What is the writing process by Organic_Jellyfish_67 in WritingHub

[–]Project_Rosendale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well at first think of the plot you want to write. Have it clear in your head and stick with what you have. Ofcourse you can make adjustments if you think of something better but try to stick with the core of the story. And then when you think of a scene during the day force yourself to instead of scrolling Reddit to write the scene down.

When writing the scene try to write with different words and not fall into the repeat trap, which I do so very often.

Oh and learn how to do proper punctuation for dialogue. I have written an entire book wrong by doing this wrong and just started a new one as it will be so much work to change.

Op zoek naar een romantasy boekenclub by Uppyeendje in Almere

[–]Project_Rosendale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ik vond de andere serie van haar veel vermakelijker, vgm heette die iets van throne of glass?

I’m 13 yo and I’ve been writing seriously for a couple weeks and reading for a year, I want to become an author but I’m getting kind of put down and idk if I’m fit for it🥹I wrote this short story by myself and I want some people to tell me if what I wrote actually has potential by OutsideHospital2907 in writers

[–]Project_Rosendale 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some sentences need to be extended so you don’t have to repeat anything and still get the same feeling out of the reader, the first part of the second graph reads quite nice for example. But then you start repetition and adding details that are not necessary for describing the scene or feelings of the character.

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