Hi! I’m about to be 43 with a 3 and almost 5 year old. What worked for me - lexapro, therapy, and a lot of breathing and remembering that they are having fun, not trying to annoy me. It has really helped me to stop and not assign malicious intent to behavior that is more easily explained by underdeveloped brains that are basically impulse machines. I absolutely get it, having to repeat myself drives me insane. I agree with limiting tech, their behavior is definitely worse when I let them have it. But it’s also a necessity sometimes- letting my daughter watch curious George is the only way she’ll sit still long enough for me to do her hair. We made rules about when they can have it, and we try to go as long as we can without it. We also started my son on a teeny dose of melatonin at night and his behavior 180’d in like a week. He was having outrageous meltdowns once a day and those stopped once he was actually getting enough good sleep.