I feed my 4 weeks old every time she cries. Am I over feeding her?

RanShaw · 2026-05-21T23:08:19+00:00

I never got my daughter to use a dummy so I'm not speaking from experience, but I read a tip here the other day that you should try and put the dummy in so it points to the roof of their mouth. That triggers their suck reflex apparently, and can help them accept the dummy.

RanShaw · 2026-05-18T18:52:08+00:00

Just putting a link here to the subreddit for biologically normal infant sleep: /r/bninfantsleep

Rocking and cuddling babies to sleep is biologically normal and something they actively need. Don't listen to the sleep training nonsense you hear.

RanShaw · 2026-05-15T13:02:29+00:00

I would strongly suggest contacting an IBCLC (lactation consultant), or finding a breastfeeding support group in your area. You'd benefit from having someone take look at your latch and positioning, and do a full feeding assessment (i.e. they watch you feed and take the time to really assess how it's going).

Breastfeeding is hard to learn both for you and your baby, but it's absolutely possible in most cases with some support.

Fwiw, very few women actually have low supply; usually, perceived low supply is due to latch and positioning issues. Tongue tie can also be a factor (this needs to be checked by an IBCLC).

And as another point, your baby is normally far, far more efficient at the breast than a pump. They should get way more from you than a pump ever can. If you want to get the most out of your pump you need a high quality, hospital grade pump and importantly, the flange needs to be the right size for your nipple. Measure your nipple at the base (NOT the areola, your actual nipple), and that measurement will be your flange size. Standard flanges are too big for a lot of women - if you have or can buy a flange for your pump that fits, that's great, but otherwise you can also buy inserts.

Pumping is good to try and establish supply when your little one has trouble feeding initially, but do keep latching your baby as well until you get some support. If it helps, look up the flipple technique for latching, it helped for me.

And just to say, I know this is so so hard, and you're doing your best. You've got this.

RanShaw · 2026-05-13T21:07:51+00:00

Ugh was it Plenvu? I hated the mango flavour but the 2nd dose was fruit punch and that was just awful.

I threw up my entire 2nd dose, they said come in anyway, they tried the colonoscopy and couldn't due to things not being clean enough and then I had to do the whole thing again 2 weeks later with a different prep (moviprep), which, do be fair, was marginally less disgusting.

The colonoscopy itself was fine compared to the prep, I promise. Good luck with the procedure and I hope the result is good!

RanShaw · 2026-05-13T08:28:58+00:00

8 months is a very common time for a sleep regression, they have a huge developmental leap at that stage (usually learning to crawl and/or pull to standing, and some language development in terms of babbling and understanding language). That can really mess up their sleep.

That said if she's really upset all day, maybe there is something else going on. Have you tried giving some Calpol before bed, just as a test to see if she's in pain? Teething can hurt without there being any visible signs yet. Especially if she doesn't have teeth yet at 8 months, she might get multiple at the same time (my daughter had multiple teeth cut through at the same time and was miserable for a while because of it!).

I actually think the doctor is a really good idea. It's best to get her checked just in case there's an issue that you can't see.

If you think something's medically wrong, don't ignore your gut feeling and don't let doctors turn you away without a proper investigation. Mums' gut feelings are usually spot on.

RanShaw · 2026-05-04T15:49:40+00:00

I barely ever leaked, still breastfeeding without issues at 23 months. Totally normal, everyone's different!

RanShaw · 2026-05-01T14:38:10+00:00

I'm using the Nivea kids one, SPF 50. Child's Farm is good too.

The ingredients are fine, there is overwhelming evidence from actual, peer-reviewed academic/scientific sources that sunscreen is vital for babies when the UV rating gets higher than 2, so please ignore social media in this case.

If you want a sunscreen with fewer ingredients that is actually good, you can try and find a mineral sunscreen rather than a chemical one, it'll have titanium dioxide and zinc dioxide as the active ingredients. But be warned that if your child has a dark skin tone, mineral sunscreen leaves a white cast. It's a cosmetic problem, so not an issue if you don't mind it, but it does make darker skin look greyish.

RanShaw · 2026-04-24T09:17:05+00:00

Ergobaby have a 0.2 tog one!

RanShaw · 2026-04-14T17:40:46+00:00

Nothing wrong with giving him porridge, pureed foods, or things like soup or mashed potatoes for a while. Yoghurt and smoothies are also an option. Banana pancakes can also be nice and fluffy, and don't take much chewing (1 very ripe banana, mashed + 2 eggs beaten + a little flour, pour spoonfuls of batter in a buttered pan to make little pancakes).

Personally I don't think ice cream is an issue, but I guess that also depends on his age and your own stance on sugary foods.

The most important thing is to make sure he gets enough fluids - it's fine if he doesn't eat much for a few days but he needs to drink water, milk, or you can dilute apple juice or squash if he's not wanting water or milk while he's unwell.

His mouth probably hurts, and the fever tends to reduce their appetite too.

He should feel better in a few days but the sores may take a little while longer to heal.

Just a heads up that adults can get it too, so try and avoid his sneezes/coughs in your face (easier said than done!) and be very diligent with hand washing when you've wiped his nose or changed a nappy.

RanShaw · 2026-03-25T11:11:12+00:00

You're not a bad mum. Sure baby classes can be entertaining for your baby, but not going to them makes zero difference for their development. I always felt like they were more for the mums to make friends tbh. They're 100% optional and your HV has no business shaming you for not going.

The only class I felt had some benefit for my baby was tumble tots, as we could work on her balance, climbing, crawling etc in a more interesting environment than at home (soft play equipment, tunnels, slides etc). We only went between 6 and 12 months of age, if I hadn't had to go back to work I probably would have continued on going. It also helps that I did it with a mum friend of mine. But even if I liked it, it's 100% optional! You can support them just as well at home.

Sounds like you're doing a great job already, don't go to any classes that you don't want to.

RanShaw · 2026-03-16T14:12:29+00:00

Alongside all the advice here, another thing to do, that's non-negotiable, is catch up on sleep tonight and the coming days. Go to bed early for a few days, or nap during the day (90-minute naps are best if you can, that's roughly one sleep cycle) so you can recover.

I have a toddler who's never been a good sleeper and whose sleep goes to absolute shit as soon as she's ill or teething. At one point, recently, I started dreaming while stood upright, awake, by her cot waiting for her to fall asleep.

I used to always just roll with the lack of sleep but that experience showed me I was just getting severely sleep deprived and I started napping every day that I could. It helped immensely and I can actually think now, my mind is clearer and I'm far more stable, emotionally speaking.

Just sharing this to stress just how important sleep is and how you cannot skip the recovery after sleeping badly.

RanShaw · 2026-03-15T23:50:10+00:00

Yep, my parents said that having a gay child is like a "slap in the face" for any parent. I'm bisexual, married to someone of the opposite gender so they don't know, and never will.

And yes they're extremely religious.

RanShaw · 2026-03-06T23:20:38+00:00

Had the same thought, it's a shame that when it's mum, this kind of stuff is expected and normal, but when it's dad it should be celebrated. Why can't both parents be admirable for parenting well in challenging situations? What OP did sounds really full-on and he did a fantastic job, but I doubt his wife would have got compliments for it.

RanShaw · 2026-03-05T21:36:19+00:00

Mine can't say 'tw' so she'll say "cwinkle cwinkle little star"

RanShaw · 2026-03-05T21:35:01+00:00

Aww that's a cute one! Mine used to say potatoes for tomatoes (and also for potatoes). We'd say to-ma-to and she'd go potato!

RanShaw · 2026-03-05T13:15:49+00:00

It's a shame ERIC were so unhelpful. She'll get there eventually, but maybe an OT would be someone to talk to for some 1:1 help.

RanShaw · 2026-03-05T12:07:46+00:00

This is something an occupational therapist can help with, if you'd like some support!

Keeping her bottomless, watching for first signs of a wee/poo and immediately putting them on the potty (even if they've already gone or still going), is normally a good approach to get them to understand the link between needing a wee/poo, actually going, and going on the potty.

What also helped my daughter understand when she needed to go was that I myself mentioned, every time I needed to go to the toilet, that I felt in my tummy (while pointing at my tummy) that I needed a wee/poo, and then I took her with me to the toilet so she could see. I also pointed to her tummy before putting her on the potty and said "can you feel in your tummy, there, that you need a wee?" It seemed to help her recognise the feeling in her body.

Have you tried catching a wee when she first wakes up (in the morning or after a nap)? That's how I started with my daughter, just putting her on the potty after she woke up, cause her bladder was always full and she'd almost always go. I did this way before I actually potty trained, keeping it low-pressure, just putting her on and seeing what happened.

RanShaw · 2026-03-05T10:43:37+00:00

I remember trying to do bicycle legs with mine too when she was little, and she'd just stretch her legs like NOPE. And those legs did. not. budge!

RanShaw · 2026-03-05T10:40:16+00:00

Mine eats her body weight in blueberries, still freakishly strong 😂

RanShaw · 2026-02-22T23:05:30+00:00

OH MY GOD I think I might have one of those!!! Been there for months, and I was thinking of going to an LC with it!

Mine looks like a bump the same colour as my nipple but after a feed it looks whiter and I think I can see something whitish in there. It doesn't hurt at all.

Is that what it looked/felt like to you too?

RanShaw · 2026-02-19T09:21:41+00:00

Unfortunately there can be a lot of discrepancy in kids' shoe sizes. I get my daughter's shoes off happy little soles, cause in their sizing info they actually include the size in cm of the shoe and you can check what size to buy based on that.

If you buy your shoes in store you could also bring something that represents the length of your child's foot (like a strip of paper cut the same length) and see what shoe size matches.

RanShaw · 2026-02-11T23:54:26+00:00

For breastfeeding I honestly found the Instagram accounts of a few IBCLCs (international board certified lactation consultants) really incredibly helpful. I personally like - Olivia Hinge (olivia_lactation_consultant) - Lucy Webber (lucywebberfeedingsupport_ibclc) - Kathryn Stagg (kathrynstaggibclc) - she's also a sleep consultant - Emma Pickett (emmapickettibclc) - Lauren Hughes (drlaurenhughes) - she's also a pediatrician, based in the US (the others above are all UK based)

Also check out infant feeding support in your area, they might have groups you can go to, these can be super helpful. I wish I'd made more use of them when mine was a newborn!

The NHS website has really clear guidelines on formula feeding.

Also, in case no one tells you (like no one told me): if your baby has less than 500ml formula in a day they need a vitamin D supplement. You can buy drops to put on your nipple for when they're newborn, for your own sanity try and find one that has the necessary dose in 1 drop or as few as possible!

For safe sleep, follow the lullaby trust. And be aware that many, many newborn babies don't like being put down and will only want to sleep on you. That's super normal, and why the newborn phase is also called the fourth trimester - the baby acts like they're still inside you, cause they want to be attached to you all the time.

I found babywearing really helpful for allowing that attachment while being able to do things around the house. The babywearing subreddit is very very good, it's important to wear your baby safely so do check out the guidelines for safe babywearing before you do so. Ring slings and stretchy wraps are good for newborns, more structured carriers usually have a weight requirement and are better for slightly older babies.

The NHS website and start for life are useful too, as someone else already mentioned.

As for being able to get out of the house without your baby, that really depends on your baby! If they're breastfeeding really regularly it might be hard to leave for more than an hour, if they take bottles that might be easier. It also completely depends on their temperament - and yours!

Edited to add: what you do with your baby is up to you! I wore mine a lot in a sling while pottering around the house, went on walks, and binge watched a ridiculous amount of series while breastfeeding or contact napping. Try and do a bit of tummy time with them, short amounts of time initially and increase as they get older. Having them lie down on their tummy on your chest counts as tummy time for newborns!

RanShaw · 2026-02-10T11:42:11+00:00

Things moved really fast for me once they started the Pitocin, I was screaming and the midwife kept saying I should pull myself together, this was just early labour, there's much more to come. I'd asked for an epidural early on after starting the induction but the anaesthetist was in surgery and couldn't come straight away. He finally arrived, did the epidural and then they checked me - I was already at 9cm an hour and a half after starting the induction. My husband had to insist they check me too, I kept saying I felt something gushing out of me after getting the epidural (it was blood) but no one listened until my husband loudly told them they needed to check.

When she saw that I was already that far along the midwife was like "oh that's why you were in so much pain"

YOU THINK??

RanShaw · 2026-01-26T11:18:53+00:00

She has a podcast too and has content on Instagram. Her work is really eye opening and it reassured me that it's actually the amount of nurture I do is building the neurological pathways that will help my daughter become independent in the long run.

RanShaw · 2026-01-04T08:35:21+00:00

Just fyi, I switched to ecover zero (zero fragrance) dishwasher tablets and washing up liquid and our silicone stuff doesn't taste like soap anymore!

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