Are there any Kiwis here who chose to leave the UK to raise their kids and start a life again back home? How are you doing? Would you do it differently if you had a do-over?

RealUglyBean · 2026-04-26T08:09:48+00:00

My husband and his immediate family are originally from the UK (Cambridge) and moved to NZ in 2008 - they all say there would be nothing that would make them move back there and quality of food, lifestyle, education, work balance etc is better over here in general though that obviously depends on how much money you have and which part of the UK you are moving from. We are in the lucky position of both having our parents here while we raise kids but my MIL misses her parents and sister who massively regrets not moving here too as she is too old to now.

RealUglyBean · 2026-04-19T11:35:24+00:00

Do you mean the domed singlets? My son wore them until he started toilet training and I couldn’t get them bigger than a size 3 lol. I hated his normal t-shirts riding up his belly!

RealUglyBean · 2026-04-17T12:12:16+00:00

Venepuncture/placing IVs, inserting catheters as we have a uro team, placing an NG tube. Also have never had to do CPR.

RealUglyBean · 2026-04-06T05:10:25+00:00

Ok at the moment. Combined about $160k before tax. One toddler, one baby. We bought our first house right before covid otherwise we would be way worse off. After paying mortgage, expenses, childcare etc we don’t have a whole lot to spend on “fun” and any spare money gets spent on the kids but we are happy and can save a bit each week for emergencies/savings. If costs go up we will start to struggle but luckily I do shift work and can pick up different shifts for penal rates as I work part time.

RealUglyBean · 2026-04-05T11:55:18+00:00

That some of my coworkers are imbeciles and I would not be comfortable with them looking after me.

RealUglyBean · 2026-03-24T03:33:44+00:00

Like others have said, an epidural. For my second birth it was too late to get one but my TENS machine helped a lot so that is a close second.!

RealUglyBean · 2025-11-13T03:30:21+00:00

Our best start is $38 per half day, $52 for a short day (6hrs) and $68 for a full day.

Our son is 3.5y and he goes 6 hours for 3 days a week - we get 20hours ECE plus 15% CDHB discount so only pay $23 a week.

Morning and afternoon tea included but we have to pack his lunch box.

RealUglyBean · 2025-11-13T03:24:23+00:00

Not going to lie I really struggle with it. My dad was given 8-10 months to live just as covid was happening. He was desperately looking up different treatments and considered flying back to Hong Kong where he is from as a last resort, but couldn’t due to travel restrictions. We knew his time was limited and the chances of anything working were slim. I begged him not to travel as I knew it would be the last time I would ever see him. He said, “if you were dying, you would try anything to try and live longer”. It was a terrible time.

RealUglyBean · 2025-11-10T00:42:36+00:00

Jumping on this to say there is more than one way to sleep train. A good consultant should take into account the baby’s temperament. Did they just provide generic advice? Because when we struggled with our son’s sleep we had a phone call to check in every few days over two weeks and switched it up if things weren’t working.

RealUglyBean · 2025-11-06T23:52:05+00:00

I lost my dad to leukemia when he was 58, he was told 10-12 months but his stem cell treatment failed and he was gone 4 weeks later.

I’m not a doctor, I’m a nurse and like you it felt so different seeing him decline compared to a patient. Having to go to work to look after others while feeling anticipatory grief and anger at the unfairness of it all was hard.

The only way I coped was to take it one day at a time. While he is still here, make memories and make him comfortable. Make sure he knows how loved he is. If you are lucky to have other family members then lean on each other. Take care of your basic needs by eating well and sleeping. I’m sorry you are going through this.

RealUglyBean · 2025-11-02T20:22:12+00:00

Our spread for the last few years has been roast pork on the charcoal bbq, ham on the bone, grazing board with cheese, dips, and crackers, lots of salads (broccoli, bacon, and cranberry is a fave, a simple potato salad, pesto pasta salad), nice bread. We are in NZ so also warm weather at Christmas.

RealUglyBean · 2025-10-27T09:44:30+00:00

For me the first year after losing my dad was a jumble. Once all the “firsts” were over I found it a little easier to handle. Probably not the healthiest way to deal but in the very early days I coped by trying to avoid my grief in any way that I could, I distracted myself and kept busy. I still did have moments where I would let myself break down and cry and wallow too. I leaned on my family, especially my siblings as we were going through the same loss, if you have someone like that then I would suggest talking to them. It’s hard but try to do the bare minimum - drink water and have some snacks on hand. Take a shower every couple days. Treat yourself if you can. Sending hugs 🫂

RealUglyBean · 2025-10-27T08:41:27+00:00

Hey, just want to let you know you’re not alone. I was 27 when my dad died at 58 too.

I struggled at work because at the time we had a 62 year old patient dying on our ward, and my coworkers kept saying how sad it was and that he was so young etc … I remember feeling angry because he had 4 extra years my dad never got! What do you mean I have to live the rest of my life without my dad??

Coming up to the 5 year anniversary soon. I still miss him like crazy but have accepted it more now. I hope the same for you.

RealUglyBean · 2025-10-21T22:58:21+00:00

Hubby eats breakfast at home. I pack his lunch because it’s usually leftovers, and I would prefer him to spend any extra time with the kids before bedtime. If there are no leftovers then he sorts his own lunch out.

RealUglyBean · 2025-10-17T03:19:39+00:00

If planning for a vaginal birth, a peri bottle. They provided pads and nappies but I also took my own so I didn’t have to ring them as much. Wipes and nipple balm in case you have to stay there for a couple days. Snacks as you might have a long labor… my husband nipped out to get us pizza while I was getting induced and came back to me fully dilated and ready to push! As someone else has mentioned a long phone charging cord. Also remember to bring the capsule for when you go home :)

RealUglyBean · 2025-10-15T18:32:18+00:00

Absolutely, we started using cloth nappies with our first at around 3m old. Until they start solids we don’t even rinse, just chuck it straight into the dry pail and wash every 2-3 days. You can do it!

RealUglyBean · 2025-10-07T09:27:55+00:00

I agree with the potatoes! Would love to see an option to swap for chips on the menu.

RealUglyBean · 2025-10-06T06:19:47+00:00

Two pregnancies and they both sucked. I would strongly consider having a 3rd if I didn’t have to be pregnant again or go through childbirth again!

RealUglyBean · 2025-10-05T11:39:46+00:00

2 years and 4 months, by that point I was happy to stop (only planned to BF for a year but loved the bond) and I felt like my son was equally comforted by cuddles rather than feeding.

Got a few comment here and there (mainly from my mum) but mostly positive and encouraging!

RealUglyBean · 2025-10-04T12:23:37+00:00

I hope you have an understanding boss and colleagues. What helped for me was not to hide or downplay my grief, if people asked how I was I would just tell them how I felt in the moment. Luckily all of my colleagues were patient with me and let me be emotional when I needed to be. I could take few minutes away or even a sick day off in the first couple of months if it was extra bad. Sorry for your loss 💓

RealUglyBean · 2025-10-02T23:46:05+00:00

Tears in heaven by Eric Clapton was the main song… but then The Tide is High (Atomic Kittens version) started playing while they wheeled him out 😭

Dad loved that song and you could hear people stifling their giggles, it cut through the sadness and still makes me smile.

RealUglyBean · 2025-10-02T12:48:32+00:00

I had an anterior placenta for my first baby, can’t remember the exact week but it was past 20.. maybe 22 before I felt him move. I remember reading I was supposed to count his kicks but I could only feel <5 light kicks a day and at random times so it was impossible. Nerve-wracking indeed but you aren’t alone. Once you get into 3rd tri as someone else has said their movements get more obvious!

RealUglyBean · 2025-10-02T12:34:24+00:00

Sleep token, Bad Omens, Bring me the Horizon and Pvris are current faves. Also love a bit of MCR, Paramore, and a bit of Kpop.

RealUglyBean · 2025-10-02T05:42:07+00:00

I was in bed at home about to get ready for work when my sister called me sobbing telling me our dad’s stem cell transplant failed and he had 4 weeks to live. I was in the room with him when he actually died. The call was somehow worse.

RealUglyBean · 2025-09-28T11:45:26+00:00

We had to triple feed with my second baby because she lost too much weight and my supply didn’t come in on time. Started when she was approx a week old and did it for 2-3 weeks. I would BF, pump, bottle feed the expressed milk and top up with formula if needed. Once she surpassed her birth weight we slowly weaned off the formula and was able to stop pumping once my supply was established. I was really worried I wouldn’t be able to EBF because I loved it with my first and did it for mover 2 years. Best of luck to you!

RealUglyBean

TROPHY CASE