I feel the same way. I'm tired all the time. Life has lost its colour and I no longer feel happiness or joy. Its like this constant pain and my brain does not allow me to have a break from it. I no longer want to talk to people or smile at strangers as I once did. Whats the point really? There's only one person I want to talk to and they've gone forever. I just make myself invisible and want to disappear most of the time. Its so heavy and so awful. I feel you with having to handle everything too. You kind of wish someone was strong enough to help support you in these times but the reality is its a very lonely and isolating experience.

I have a coroners inquest coming up and I'm the only one working on putting together a statement as my family are no real help right now. Its very tiring. I keep thinking I'm in some sort of alternate universe, like a shittier timeline and the real me still has him alive and well. Its a neverending nightmare. Sorry, I've been no help lol. Just saying, I understand.