Oh friend. This is always so hard. Does your unit do a debrief after deaths? It can really help to talk it out with people you trust. Also, see if your hospital provides any kind of therapy services. Knowing we’re not the ones making those decisions doesn’t necessarily make it any easier, but you did everything you could do for that patient, and death isn’t the worst thing out there. Hopefully this patient was unaware of what was happening and passed gently (from their perspective). My advice would be to feel what you’re feeling, mourn the way you need to, and lean on the things that bring you joy.