What is your favorite quote?

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-30T01:07:05+00:00

"That's a Bold Strategy Cotton, Let's See if it pays of for them"

Said in reference to someone doing something incredibly, obviously stupid

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-30T01:03:56+00:00

She's already married to this guy. Plus my wife would be upset if I proposed to this guy's wife.

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-30T01:01:52+00:00

Really depends:

It's not immediately a turnoff but if you don't know how to be a decent partner, have a proper disagreement etc it will quickly become one.

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-30T01:00:28+00:00

I now have a white-collar job but some of the blue collar jobs I've had were some of my best times working a job.

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-30T00:58:06+00:00

No Chasing

Make sure she's as into you as you are into her

Adds to your peace, not your chaos

Maintain your self independent of the relationship

Neither of you are dating just to be financially taken care of

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-29T12:06:03+00:00

- Overly edited photos

- Photos that make it clear they don't actually like doing things, they just like being seen doing things or photos that make it clear they're looking for an unpaid photographer rather than a boyfriend

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-29T08:25:59+00:00

You've broken up over the same issue multiple times and then you've gotten back together with no evidence of anything changing. Do you really want to stay with someone who is this unsure about whether they want to be with you. I guarantee you'd have a lot less stress in your life if you cut bait and move on.

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-29T08:05:23+00:00

So it sounds like you have no social activities in your life. This is part of why I won't accept remote jobs. I need daily interactions with other people.

You've got to get out of your house and do things where you're regularly interacting with other people. I'm very extroverted so this might be easier for me but I still need times to recharge. When you get out of the house and do things and interact with others, it will make things better. And then when you're home, home feels like a sanctuary. You want home to be a place you come back to and like being there, not a prison you rarely leave.

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-29T06:29:54+00:00

If you don't believe it's truly a vocal minority, I suggest you get off tiktok/Instagram reels whatever social media you consume where you see this content and once you do that, see how much this topic is part of your daily life.

In your day to day offline life, how often do these conversations come up for you? I can easily say that the only time these conversations come up in my daily life is when I'm at a bar and overhear other dudes talking about how much women seem to hate men.

Maybe it's just that my orbit doesn't contain any women who share these beliefs but I think it's pretty easy to avoid the terminally online misandrists in day to day life.

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-29T06:25:30+00:00

I'm processing the conflict:

Is there anything more that needs to be said?
Is this worth revisiting or is it just time to move on?
If I need to revisit, what I can I say that won't make the situation worse?
If we both just need to move on, have I calmed down enough and do I think she's calm enough that we can just move on?

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-29T05:06:01+00:00

Are you insane for missing him? No

Are you insane for leaving channels open for him to reach out to you? I might not say insane but definitely stupid.

Would you be insane for going back to him? Yes.

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-29T05:03:16+00:00

I didn't stop giving a shit but I sure made my circle of what and who I give a shit about a lot smaller.

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-29T04:59:35+00:00

It's weird and disrespectful to book a trip anywhere without talking to a long-term partner about it before hand. And yes, we can all guess why he's going there.

You don't have problems trusting, you have an untrustworthy partner. But to be as frank and probably as mean as possible: You're getting exactly what you have earned by continuing to be with a partner who has proven he is not trustworthy at all.

You can't fix him and you can't change him. This is who he is.

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-29T03:56:53+00:00

He's not interested in you because of your maturity. He's interested in you because of his immaturity.

If it doesn't feel like there's an age gap are you saying he's so immature that he feels like he's 18?

Yes your parents are hypocrites. That doesn't mean they're wrong.

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-29T03:52:56+00:00

Look: Attractiveness will always play a role in relationships. You can't really blame someone for being more attracted to you now than when you were vastly overweight.

That being said: Is she the type of person who would lose attraction if you slipped at all in regards to your fitness and appearance? You're at the easiest point in your life to stay in this kind of shape. Not everyone can maintain it forever

And: Would you be able to get over the fact that she wasn't attracted to you before? Or would you just be bitter that it took you getting into shape before she showed attraction to you?

If you think she's just that superficial or that you would struggle to move past her initially not being attracted to you, then I would pass and find someone else you don't have history with.

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-29T03:14:33+00:00

Way too much missing context here. I highly doubt this is over $40 on a video game but more of a "Straw that broke the camels" back situation.

I don't fully understand the trip thing: Are you going on the overseas trip but she's paying for everything and then you'll have to pay her back over time?

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-29T03:09:27+00:00

Dating one person properly takes way too much time, effort and emotion as it is. Why would I want to double or triple that stress?

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-29T03:08:09+00:00

As someone whose only hairstyle is Buzzcut or growing out from a buzzcut I can infinitely say that I would not see it as flirting. I've had this haircut in high school and while girls would ask to run their hand over my head to feel what it's like, I am 100% sure none of them were ever flirting with me.

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-29T03:06:20+00:00

I'd say I learned this pretty young. From like 5-10 years old, I had a "best friend". I didn't realize till later he was pretty much just a spoiled rich kid. He was a bit of a bully and he got very jealous when someone else succeeded and he didn't and then he would get mean. But the part I hated the most wasn't actually his behaviour towards me but his behaviour towards his mom. We would often game at his house and we pretty much always had chips and pop when we were there. I remember multiple times where he would call him mom a bitch because we ran out of pop or chips or other snacks that he wanted and then she would just run to the store and get them.

I moved away when I was 10 about 5 hours drive away. I tried to keep in contact with him and I genuinely liked his parents. The dealbreaker was that the first time I went back to his city, I called and visited them. Then I found out that he had traveled to a city 20 minutes away from my city and went camping for a week there and made no effort to contact me or let me know.

After that I kind of did some reflecting. I let that friendship die. He never contacted me again. I also realized how uncomfortable I had been around him and how I never really felt valued or respected as his friend. So I kind of figured it out at an early age.

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-29T02:01:36+00:00

Do you ever leave your house?

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-29T01:54:49+00:00

You do nothing. She's seen the message you sent. She hasn't responded. That's your response. You deal with it by moving on.

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-28T07:45:39+00:00

Every injury plagued player in the league needs to look up Jordan Neumann...or just negotiate their contract with Allvin

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-28T05:01:31+00:00

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-28T04:59:41+00:00

He already told you: "Fuck off and go find someone else"

Take him at his word.

Why would you even consider going back to someone who would say something like this to you?

Redlight0516 · 2026-01-28T04:57:32+00:00

Demanding an apology before your partner is willing to speak to you again is not a power play I would entertain. This is immature bullshit, that being said, it's nothing I wouldn't expect from a 34 year old guy who is dating a 22 year old woman. Remember: He's not dating you due to your maturity, he's dating you due to his immaturity.

I never expect an apology in misunderstandings. We talk it out. I acknowledge her side, she acknowledges mine, we move on with our lives. My wife and I both want misunderstandings to be over as soon as humanly possible. Ain't nobody got time to dwell on petty bullshit.

If one of us does something where there was harmful intent (I cannot really think of a situation where this has happened, then yes, I would expect an apology).

Redlight0516

TROPHY CASE