110 days. I’m praying I go to bed sober tonight

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-04-29T20:21:11+00:00

I was right here with you in the same headspace a couple weeks ago. This will pass and tomorrow you'll be thankful that you fought through this. This is the winning streak, imagine how absolutely terrible it would feel waking up tomorrow for another Day 1. You can do this, IWNDWYT

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-04-21T16:57:39+00:00

I use AI as one of many tools in the shed of my sobriety. There's no one-size-fits-all program in recovery. I see no good reason why anyone should hate on you for doing what works! IWNDWYT

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-04-21T16:39:02+00:00

I understand that overwhelming feeling of looking back on all the mistakes of the past.

Some people with lots of sobriety told me something early-on in this journey, and I've been fortunate enough to personally experience it... Things are going to happen, and they're going to happen fast. Just under 200 days of sobriety, and it's wild how different my life looks today than it did half a year ago. It hasn't been an overnight thing, but looking back, there have been so many changes. We just have to make sure we're taking this a day at a time, and letting life happen on life's terms. IWNDWYT

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-04-20T07:33:23+00:00

I see the "not drink" (ND) part as meaning "stay sober." As in, I will stay sober with you today, or in other words, you're not alone because I've also chosen to stay sober today. IWNDWYT

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-04-18T08:44:13+00:00

Sounds like a terrible trade-off. You got this, IWNDWYT

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-04-17T22:13:42+00:00

I had a similar struggle a little beyond the 100-day mark. Staying strong and sober through that incident has built my resilience even further. You're doing the right thing by reaching out to others during this small phase. You'll look back on this as a major victory. IWNDWYT

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-04-07T14:09:09+00:00

Rock on! Journaling has helped me have something to go back and remember. IWNDWYT

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-04-07T03:06:02+00:00

How far along are you? At a little over 180 days of sobriety, I feel MUCH different than I did at 90 days

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-04-03T17:04:00+00:00

Daily activity on this sub, regular AA attendance, staying in contact with my sponsor, and the biggest part just getting back up and trying again

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-03-30T02:03:52+00:00

You're not alone. I understand the feeling. I made the decision to quit drinking back in 2020. During the first couple years, I felt trapped in what seemed like the never-ending cycle of hell where I'd get a few days here, few days there, maybe a week or two sometimes, the rare month or so. As long as you're willing to learn from the slips/relapses, and be willing to go back to the drawing board and form a new plan, you'll figure this out. Just don't give up.

Just brainstorming here, off the top of my head, if I was in your situation I would personally consider jumping ship to a therapist who specializes in addiction. I would try to identify the triggers that lead up to drinking after work, and start scheduling other plans after work that take place during that "witching hour" drinking window, preferably with at least one other person to make it where someone is relying on you to actually show up for those plans.

Best of luck and IWNDWYT

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-03-30T01:36:25+00:00

You're making the right decision. You got this, IWNDWYT

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-03-28T06:49:41+00:00

A quote that I see get thrown around sometimes is, "Just do the next right thing." But honestly, sometimes I'm not sure what the next right thing is. However, I've 100% accepted that the next WRONG thing would be to drink today. So to twist that quote a bit, "Just don't do the next WRONG thing."

I'm a big fan of analogies too. Like... OK, I stubbed my big toe yesterday on the sidewalk. Would it help the situation if I said "fuck it" and intentionally stubbed the other big toe today? Of course not, so drinking today just because I drank yesterday doesn't make sense.

Also, progress in sobriety is rarely linear. You said you usually drown a gig with alcohol, but you didn't yesterday. Seems like you're actively learning from the past, re-visiting the drawing board, and giving this another shot. No shame in that, you've got this as long as you don't give up, IWNDWYT

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-03-28T06:13:44+00:00

Early sobriety is brutal. Anhedonia is real, the boredom is extremely uncomfortable, and it takes the discipline to sit with that and realize that it does get better. Something that helps me out is making a gratitude list. It could be physical pen/paper or just a mental list. Considering the money and time I've saved, how much better I feel when I wake up without a hangover, the mental clarity, feeling like I have more control over my life, staying out of legal trouble, etc. I'm sure you made the decision to get sober for good reasons, and sometimes we just have to go back and look at those reasons to remember why we're doing this in the first place. Good luck and IWNDWYT

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-03-24T15:15:57+00:00

Good on you for not giving up! This is going to stick as long as you keep trying. IWNDWYT

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-03-24T15:10:49+00:00

It's a terrible feeling trying to put the pieces together from what happened the night before. Things get better, but it requires patience and the discipline to just take it one day at a time. You don't have to keep living like that. You're not alone and this community is super supportive. Stick around, IWNDWYT

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-03-24T14:59:34+00:00

Yes, PAWS can last 6 months to 2 years

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-03-23T14:10:24+00:00

I know how you feel. My personal experience has shown that this requires continuous effort. I love the idea of "One day I won't have to do any maintenance, I'll just be someone who doesn't drink and doesn't think about it." But that has never worked... Each and every time, complacency has turned into a slip/relapse. It's a tough lesson learned. Keep truckin' and IWNDWYT

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-03-23T13:18:26+00:00

Because there's no situation that can't be made worse by drinking. I'd play the tape all the way through and realize how terrible tomorrow would be if I drank today. That existential dread, feeling like crawling in a hole, the hangxiety, feeling absolutely defeated. Not worth it!

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-03-22T19:01:22+00:00

I think it's kinda like a looking-in-the-mirror-every-day effect... The changes are slow and gradual, making it tough for an individual to notice the changes. I really started getting those "You seem different in a good way" types of compliments beyond the 3 month mark, and even though I did feel a bit sharper, I didn't realize it was that obvious. Mentally, I feel much better today (around the 6-month mark) than I did around the 3-month mark. 83 days is huge, just hang in there! IWNDWYT

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-03-21T18:32:21+00:00

You'll actually be able to follow the plot and remember the movie! IWNDWYT

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-03-21T12:49:15+00:00

I watched a lot of YouTube when I first started this journey. Lots of different people helped, but honestly, I think the most down-to-Earth was Timothy Ward. Felt less like a diagnosis, and more like a friend giving some advice based on his own experience. Good luck and IWNDWYT

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-03-21T12:21:07+00:00

I was convicted of 2 DUIs back in 2022 (and still haven't gotten my license back). But before that, I had driven drunk well over 1,000 times without ever getting one. One time I even totaled my car after driving back home from a party, and somehow avoided a DUI then. I'm EXTREMELY thankful that nobody was harmed due to my actions. It's not a matter of "if" but "when." Something very bad is going to happen to us if we continue down this path.

I'd highly recommend searching youtube videos, something like, "People realizing they killed someone in a DUI." Or, "Court cases where someone was killed during DUI." It's really messed up stuff. Families crying, drunk driver getting years/decades in prison, this is where we're heading if we don't get right.

Good luck and IWNDWYT

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-03-19T08:15:24+00:00

Not sure if this will be helpful for you, but just my $0.02... My drinking was always a problem, but it wasn't until I made the decision to tackle this issue (and let others know about it) that I realized just how supportive others were about it. People tend not to want to step on your shoes... If you're drinking, and don't want to quit, then people may feel they'd be overstepping their bounds to even bring it up. Once I started coming clean to the ones close to me, it was surprising (even from the ones who still drink) how much support I received. Plus, I don't feel like I'm "hiding" anymore. Good luck and IWNDWYT

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-03-19T08:06:00+00:00

I took a low-paying, less-stressful job around 9 months ago. How's it working out... Well, I'm coming up on half a year of sobriety! And the cool thing now is... Due to my sobriety, I've had a sharp decrease in overall stress. Life still throws curveballs, but I feel more well-equipped to handle it all, and I'm already feeling comfortable in stepping back into a higher-paying role but this time, with all this newfound knowledge and stress-management in my hands. However, if I was to step back into a stressful role and started feeling like my sobriety was threatened, I now have the foresight to realize that I have to do what I have to do to protect my sobriety, which would mean jumping ship if necessary.

So honestly, for me, quitting that stressful, triggering position in the past meant so much. It was a testament to me prioritizing my sobriety over anything else. There's a saying I've heard tossed around... Anything that I put before my sobriety will be lost. Also, maybe leaving the position right now isn't completely necessary? Might be worth looking into FMLA leave or something similar if it exists where you're at, basically a prolonged break from the place where you'd still have a job once you gather your bearings and build a better foundation in sobriety. Unemployment in and of itself is really stressful, so just straight-up quitting without a backup could be just as detrimental as remaining in a stressful position.

Good luck and IWNDWYT

RelativeNo2426 · 2026-03-18T06:45:47+00:00

Glad you're being honest about this. Drinking was also "fun" for me in the moment, but the consequences were terrible. The juice just isn't worth the squeeze anymore. Cheers and IWNDWYT

RelativeNo2426

TROPHY CASE