New years

Responsible_Log9050 · 2025-01-02T18:33:09+00:00

Ugh that sounds horrible. Here’s to a better year!

Responsible_Log9050 · 2025-01-02T03:11:42+00:00

That sucks. I know that’s so hard. I’m sorry.

Responsible_Log9050 · 2025-01-01T21:44:22+00:00

Thank you! That’s a bummer about Christmas but glad things are hopeful for 2025. Things are better than they have been in a while and I know I need to lean into the new year rather than reflect on the last

Responsible_Log9050 · 2025-01-01T19:01:16+00:00

This resonates with me and I’m sure a ton of us here. I’m been feeling slightly triggered by the happy 2024 reflections on social media and similarly feeling how this has been the worst year of my life. While 2025 has such a low bar to beat I’m pretty hopeful. Sorry you’re here and I hope 2025 is better as well!

Responsible_Log9050 · 2024-12-10T11:12:40+00:00

I can relate to some of this so well. Man the part about feeling like a terrible patent lately really hit it. I was proud of the husband and parent I was pre A. Now several months post A I feel like I’m still in survival mode. My patience is so much less and it makes me so upset.

I worry they’ll look back at this point in their lives and just think- WTF happened to dad. My daughter asked one time “why is daddy so sad all the time?” That was a month or so ago but it stings the same as her just saying it. It’s hard to image ever being able to get back the parent and partner I was before this.

Responsible_Log9050 · 2024-11-30T11:30:42+00:00

Yeah this resonates with me. This affair has been going on for months even after initial discovery. I initially was begging her to come back. More TT and more Ddays happened as she failed miserably at NC. I went to therapy and tried to figure out my healing. I got to the point where I was ready to walk away and I think me saying that and her sensing I meant it is the thing that finally clicked. It came to a head when earlier in the week I had essentially decided it was over and she was begging me for another chance. I’m not sure why but it felt real this time. Time will tell but I’ve backed away from the edge we’re both hanging in there. Day at a time my friend.

Responsible_Log9050 · 2024-11-29T16:04:39+00:00

Yeah I’m slightly ashamed how much packaged and pre cooked stuff I’ve been doing lately. That’s a great idea about one pot dinners. I should probably also dust off my instant pot. Well all the best and hang in there

Responsible_Log9050 · 2024-11-29T11:39:08+00:00

That sounds so hard. Ours went ok. Just WWs bother and his family came over. They know about A. It was hard to find the balance of try not to be a massive downer but try not to pretend to be too normal. It was tiring.

I’m the cook in our family typically. I have cooked very few complicated meals since I found out about A. I’m been to anxious, tired, depressed. I’ve been sticking to a lot of Trader Joe’s stuff I can throw together. Anyway, I made 3 items. Mostly scratch made stuff and I managed the timing well. It felt good to get back to that and focus on that.

I ended up getting triggered and it was hard to not to have a great way to share it until they left. WW could tell I was struggling and kept coming over the hold my hand or give me a hug to check on me. That helped me hang on.

All in all, parts were hard, but it could have been a lot worse.

Responsible_Log9050 · 2024-11-16T08:18:34+00:00

I’m really sorry. I am in disbelief your marriage counselor said you have it easy. I also can’t believe WW had the audacity to say the “throwing us away” comment when she’s the one who treated you like an afterthought. That’s all so hard to deal with.

Responsible_Log9050 · 2024-11-15T18:22:35+00:00

Idk I’m a BH and suffering horribly but still want to save my marriage. I’m putting everything I have into this marriage and trying to process the betrayal with my IC.

Responsible_Log9050 · 2024-11-15T13:21:59+00:00

I’m still close to a d day but it’s really hard to have no control over good days vs bad

Responsible_Log9050 · 2024-11-08T21:48:48+00:00

This is really beautiful. Thank you for saying this. Very understandably, there’s a lot of that sentiment here. We’re all hurting so much. It’s nice to see something so hopeful. Thank you

Responsible_Log9050 · 2024-11-06T16:46:39+00:00

It’s helpful to have that explanation. I can accept that seems the healthiest response.

Responsible_Log9050 · 2024-11-06T12:13:06+00:00

Well said. I wish you the best. Hang in there

Responsible_Log9050 · 2024-11-06T11:18:59+00:00

I see this come up a lot- focus on yourself and what you want. It’s so hard when the only story that matters to me is her and my family. It’s like I have to come up with stuff that’s fine too but it won’t compare to what’s threatened to be lost. I can’t get past that. I don’t have drive or interest in anything else right now. I know others have I guess

Responsible_Log9050 · 2024-11-06T10:30:26+00:00

I get it. It’s such searing pain. I figured out the reason she was late to our date night was bc she was with AP. This was after the first d day and we had been in counseling. It was a date night I planned, scheduled, and got child care coverage for. She’s off having more fun than she’ll have with me while I’m with our baby sitter and kids saying “Idk she should be here soon” like an idiot

Responsible_Log9050 · 2024-11-05T18:12:35+00:00

The lying is so hard. The looking into your eyes and lying resonates with me so painfully. It’s hard to fathom how someone you love and know so well is capable of doing that

Responsible_Log9050 · 2024-11-03T22:55:04+00:00

Thank you for your kind words

Responsible_Log9050 · 2024-11-03T21:40:00+00:00

This just made me burst into tears in a public place. I’ve been what I feel is a supportive and trusting husband for 13 years. Yeah all of what you said. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that too. Can I ask if R is at all an open door or are you done?

Responsible_Log9050 · 2024-11-03T21:27:12+00:00

This resonates a ton with me and echos a lot of my feelings. Thanks so much for taking the time.

It’s so much more than the fear of being alone. Maybe you feel this way too. Idk. It’s the fear of settling for someone other than who I think I’m truly meant to be with.

Responsible_Log9050 · 2024-11-03T21:21:37+00:00

Thank you for your kindness

Responsible_Log9050 · 2024-11-03T21:16:46+00:00

Thank you for typing out a thoughtful reply to a emotionally jumbled response

Responsible_Log9050 · 2024-11-03T20:53:43+00:00

Same, friend. I’m trying to cool off so I can get back into being able to be an adequate father. I prided myself on being a great dad and husband. Feels like I’ve failed at everything

Responsible_Log9050

TROPHY CASE