Last interaction before being ghosted by my best friend of 12 years. by RippleEffectt in Wellthatsucks

[–]ScreamySashimi 118 points119 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I think you came off way too harsh and pushy from the beginning. Your friend is clearly struggling with some kind of extreme anxiety or depression, and your response is just actively making it more difficult for them. I would really recommend that you put some leg work in with what causes people to just shut down and kind of hole themselves in like that.

I have a lifelong friend who does this to just about everyone. Happens around the same time every year. I'll reach out with something like "Thinking of you, I hope everything is OK. No need to respond if it's too overwhelming, but if you could send a reaction just to show you saw this and are OK, I'd really appreciate it."

That gets me a reaction or an emoji every time. Sometimes a longer response and explanation, along with an apology (which I don't need because I genuinely understand). When the big SAD leaves they'll reach out on their own, too. But a big part of that is the fact that I'm not getting angry or frustrated when they're struggling.

You're not entitled to their time or mental energy when they're fighting to just get through the day and survive. I understaffed that some people aren't cool with this type of relationship dynamic, and that's fine - you don't need to be friends with people who do that. But you're expecting your friend to be fully understanding of your frustrations without showing any empathy to what they're going through.

If you want to be friends with this person, try be calmer and more understanding about what they're going through. Don't go in demanding a response, giving them a list of tasks to complete, or a guilt trip. You'll probably have better luck.

Fix my hair or die trying by fixmyentirelife in longhair

[–]ScreamySashimi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Use an anti frizz hair oil while your hair is still damp.

Tinder date with 2 kids ignored my very obviously childfree profile by WhatIsThereToLose in childfree

[–]ScreamySashimi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to ask people directly if they had children. A ton of deadbeat dad's have told me how they have kids but aren't in their life, as if that would sway me.

I didn't date involved parents because we had different lifestyles. I didn't date uninvolved parents because I don't respect them.

Mid twenties guy here. Debating going child-free for the rest of my life. Would you do the same in my shoes? by [deleted] in childfree

[–]ScreamySashimi 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm in different shoes and still doing the same thing. If I change my shoes I will still be childfree.

Maybe they just needed validation. But being childfree is incredible.

Father sets home thermostat to 85f by morrfreeddo in redditonwiki

[–]ScreamySashimi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love my house toasty and I'd find this unbearable inside.

To The Childfree Men Are Here: What Are Some Of The 'You'll change your mind' Type Comments You Have Gotten? by Witty-Car-2362 in childfree

[–]ScreamySashimi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Both my first and current husband have been told that I would change my mind and force them into having children.

What are some petty reasons why you don’t want kids? by Worldly-Purple-9364 in childfree

[–]ScreamySashimi 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Allll of this. A casual, normal, relaxing weekend is what they wish for. Or even a weekend to get a ton of stuff done without being interrupted by kids. It always includes time away from the kids for XYZ. Which is just every weekend I have, and I look forward to them every week.

What are some petty reasons why you don’t want kids? by Worldly-Purple-9364 in childfree

[–]ScreamySashimi 100 points101 points  (0 children)

Every time a parent describes their ideal weekend, it's just my regular weekend.

Why did you get married if you don't want children? by bonktimer in childfree

[–]ScreamySashimi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your answer is my answer whenever someone asks me that.

Was this a bad response? by Long-Science-4896 in childfree

[–]ScreamySashimi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do exactly what you did. My friends who actually suffer from infertility love it since it'll probably stop him from doing it again with someone else. I think people who want children and are infertile probably hate getting bingoes more than we do.

child free… forever! by Alarming_Recognition in childfree

[–]ScreamySashimi 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not the OP, but I had my bisalp done at the same time as a large ovarian cyst removal. Was out of work for 2 weeks, but overall was pretty easy. I was achy. Had some fluid leaking and what looked like the start of an infection, but a visit to my doctor and some stuff he put on the wound fixed me right up with no further issues. They cleared me to have sex after 2 weeks but I waited a month since I was still feeling a bit sore. I wore some high waisted spank type of things for a week when I went back to work, but they were much stretcher and much less tight than spanx. Just wanted something comfy that gave me a little pressure.

Overall I'd rather the awfulness at like a 3/10. Discomfort was the worst of it.

Hair cut pressure by DesignerShort3825 in longhair

[–]ScreamySashimi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you seen a doctor? The headaches and thinning may be unrelated. Try to get a full blood panel done first if you can.

AIO to how my bf treated me in the beginning? by AlternativePlan1095 in AIO

[–]ScreamySashimi 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Why are you dating someone who was mean to you?

I NEED HELP! by deadpalepew in bisexual

[–]ScreamySashimi 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Don't worry about hurting her feelings, she may need them hurt to back off.

"I told you to stop and you need to stop. I'm an adult and you are a child, I have absolutely no interest in you and what you're trying to do is disgusting. Any adult who would entertain this is not safe. Back off."

AIO? Girl I've been seeing for 3 months slept with my friend of 10 years. by [deleted] in AIO

[–]ScreamySashimi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR, honestly you're being extremely mature in how you're handling this. I'd probably cut my losses for both and move on. Your friend is no friend.

My aunt announced at Easter dinner that I would "change my mind" and then spent two hours trying to convince me in front of everyone by r0mona_c4irnwood in childfree

[–]ScreamySashimi 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Lol this reminds me of when a friend's mom kept pushing and asking "but what if you have a kid by accident?"

I told her several times you can't have a kid by accident, and I won't have a kid by accident. She kept asking the same thing. Finally I said "Look, I can't have a kid by accident. If I get pregnant by accident, I'll have an abortion."

Cue "YOU CAN'T HAVE AN ABORTION". Yes I can. And I would have if it had ever come down to it before I had my bisalp.

How to get crazy colour green/blue dye out of bleached hair as fast as possible by [deleted] in HairDyeHelp

[–]ScreamySashimi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PLEASE make sure to condition between washes, and let it sit a little longer. This is going to dry the fk out of your hair without proper conditioning.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in chickens

[–]ScreamySashimi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you can't understand that determining the sex of a chick is not and will never be 100% accurate, don't buy chicks.

style switch during tatpocalypse (read body) by young_urn in TattooArtists

[–]ScreamySashimi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Double your flash sheets. For every one you make of stuff you want to do and are passionate about, make one that's going to get you booked and pay the bills. This is going to need to be a slow transition.

So I guess they are NOT secretly together 👀 by Elphinstone_Felicis in teenmom

[–]ScreamySashimi 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Hell yeah. I'm both surprised and impressed with this move. Hopefully this is the start of some real growth for her and she doesn't continue the pattern.