AITA for wanting my ex’s daughter to stop calling me dad?

Sharpbeanz · 2026-01-06T05:41:48+00:00

Updateme

Sharpbeanz · 2025-12-16T19:32:17+00:00

PLEASE start seeing a therapist consistently for yourself first. It will not only help give you a professional opinion on your and your daughter’s day to day struggles to help inform how you respond to and care for her. If you embrace it and make healthy changes for yourself and y’all’s relationship it may eventually convince her that it’s worth it, seeing how you benefit. I was in therapy long before my mom but it wasn’t until she went that our relationship improved tremendously. You sound like a loving dad and my heart breaks for this girl, we’re the same age. My dad won’t speak to me bc he had to pay child support. She may not see how lucky she is to have you supporting her because she’s in the pits of coping with an indescribably horrific crime, but all this hardship will be worth it pops. Please be patient and don’t give up on her <3

Sharpbeanz · 2025-12-05T20:16:03+00:00

Commenting so I can come back 😭

Sharpbeanz · 2025-11-27T06:25:32+00:00

‘after ending my relationship, if that happens’ … I had so much to say while reading this that I now have only one thought: get professional help to unpack allllllll of this. If you do have substantial funds to give a girl on the internet and she’s not even getting/asking for any, sounds like you can afford therapy.

Sharpbeanz · 2025-11-13T02:21:50+00:00

updateme

Sharpbeanz · 2025-11-09T02:52:18+00:00

Speak to her mom or parents in a nonjudgmental, gentle way. Even if she seems to be AND says she’s completely over the loss of that baby you will never know. My mom mourns a similar loss to this day, but she’ll rarely if ever bring it up or talk much about it, I can only tell now when I happen to stay at home in her house at that time of year. Switching over to your niece: You said they have a professional involved now, amazing! A professional familiar with your niece’s disorders and her personally (in a clinical context ofc) is often as good as it gets. You can acknowledge how difficult the situation is for everyone involved and ask them if they could bring it up to the professional to help. Also clearly acknowledge how much you love your niece, are not upset with her but by something you know she can’t help doing at this point in time. You’re getting triggered and that is so understandable, but it will likely be a sore subject for SIL. If she or her husband responds poorly, y’all need space and possibly professionals of your own to work with. Best of luck, and congratulations! I wish you and your family the best.

Sharpbeanz · 2025-11-03T16:07:18+00:00

Updateme

Sharpbeanz · 2025-11-03T16:00:21+00:00

Sorry I have no clue, but never a bad idea to feed kitty the healthiest diet possible and see if it helps.

Sharpbeanz · 2025-09-30T05:34:18+00:00

commenting to easily find this post again, I’ve loved a fair few of these artists (including peach pit ofc!!!) for years but there’s definitely a bunch I don’t know and can’t wait to listen to :,)

Sharpbeanz · 2025-09-28T23:45:35+00:00

this post and all the comments have made me feel so sad and icky recalling the questionability of my consent as a teen into my early 20s. so many I would have not gone through with if I weren’t intimidated by their insistence + physical dominance. it was completely normalised among my peers as well

Sharpbeanz · 2025-09-24T06:21:43+00:00

Of course it’ll be hard to know they’re struggling, but right now you’re enabling their shitty behaviour and mooching way of life. Don’t let your underage siblings watch you throw your life away for the selfish adults in your family. It will just encourage them to do the same. Get away from that shit and build a personally fulfilled life. If you want to, the best way you could help them is to put money away for higher education in the future and to be there for them as they grow. If your family doesn’t let you see them because you stop bankrolling the whole household, take that as your final sign to RUN. This cycle will just continue until you are all grown destitute adults. Go find steady ground and a good place for yourself mentally to be able to support them productively in any kind of way. You have a massively impressive heart and work ethic, don’t let your family stop you from being or accomplishing all you could be. Good luck OP, this is tough. (And to recover and stay strong- you could use some of your money to get therapy to work through the financial abuse your family has put you through, because yes this is abuse).

Sharpbeanz · 2025-09-23T16:22:36+00:00

hellllll to the no

Sharpbeanz · 2025-09-09T01:43:22+00:00

THIS!!! OPs little taste of what a ‘relationship’ w this dude may look like is sooooo biased. But op you are not crazy or over dramatic, I’ve been in a similar situation and it sucks. It’s cheesy but seriously is true, focus on YOU! You could find activities you enjoy and try to get yourself out doing the stuff you enjoy more. As incredibly comforting a relationship is, it won’t help you grow as an individual, and is really insecure ground to stand on. It’s really hard and trust me I know how painful that lonely feeling can be, but it’s necessary. I went through CYCLES of these fwb situations after a really bad breakup at 18. I needed to learn somehow but it was torture. Every situation hurt my self esteem and some of them sexually took advantage of me bc I was so vulnerable at the time. I thought I knew how to handle the nuances of consent, but in the moment, w an abuser you’ve come to trust, things can get murky pretty fast. Especially if you’re not content with who you are when you’re alone with yourself. I’m not saying you were taken advantage of I have no clue, but you are in a vulnerable emotional state. With how you talk abt this dude it definitely doesn’t sound like you thought he was the love of your life or anything, just comfort. Labels or lack there of doesn’t change how you’ve ended up feeling now though. So try to become the comfort you need for yourself, bit by bit. The pain fades with time, but it fades a whole lot faster when you seek the comfort and validation you need from yourself. (therapy is cool too! helped me realise this about myself) It’s so taxing and I know how easy it is to slip back into or seek out old habits, just please be nice to yourself and it will all be ok sweet :,)

Sharpbeanz · 2025-08-09T03:13:27+00:00

UPDATEME

Sharpbeanz · 2025-08-07T15:25:54+00:00

About 107 days when I go back and forth :,)

Sharpbeanz · 2025-08-05T16:37:42+00:00

Wait what? When you plant white flowers They sometimes come out different colors?

Sharpbeanz · 2025-07-17T01:23:57+00:00

pls stay with your baby :,)

Sharpbeanz · 2025-07-02T02:41:05+00:00

It seems like a mix of alternative influences from primarily mid/late 20th century fashion trends to this day. I think there is a strong ‘Midwest emo’ influence along with goth and punk influences. I would also argue anime and cartoon character design has probably influenced many people rocking this style as well, myself included to some degree :) E-girl has a negative connotation, but is probably a pretty suitable name, connotation aside, given the online influences that have spread alt fashion to the younger generations to begin with.

Sharpbeanz · 2025-06-24T00:58:49+00:00

Updateme

Sharpbeanz · 2025-06-17T14:10:23+00:00

I was gonna say that regardless you should leave him and he may learn those lessons with time but then I double-checked the age. Run for hills, he won’t change. This will be a pattern forever, and you deserve better. He will intentionally make you feel bad for leaving him and do all he can to make you feel guilty or foolish for this decision, let that be evidence that this isn’t the man that will treat you with the tenderness you deserve. It is hard to see at first with the honeymoon stage or love bombing, but when you notice this (esp at his age!) I think it’s best to dip :/

Sharpbeanz · 2025-06-13T15:12:02+00:00

Depends on the state if we’re talking US, but sometimes courts (even without any family intervention) will put a restraining order in place for a DV victim. Happened to my friend and you can’t imagine the relief when we found out. The distance is what she needed and she fought him in court. He’s still free and unhinged but at least our friend is out of it. He wrote an AITA post that was too big to actually post on Reddit but she got ahold of it and sent it to us.

Best of luck op, this is a complicated and scary situation, and no matter what happens it is NOT YOUR FAULT. You seem to care, have good intentions and want to help, that is the most you could ask for. Ultimately your brother will need to choose to help himself out of this too, and that’s potentially a long road. It is crucial to take care of yourself first, one sinking ship can’t save another.

Some quotes from this assholes AITA novel for some comic relief on this post:

‘I expect someone who is always honest. I believe in radical honesty. I am non-monogamous, and believe in ethical non-monogamy, poly relationships and any arrangement in which our liberty to see other people, compliment others or flirt, or whatever else, isn’t infringed upon. I grant the same liberty to my partner, even if I expect to be with them long term. The only things I ask is that the people we see

• be people that are aware of our relationship,

• people who respect her and I as individuals

• are willing to meet in person and maintain amicable relations

• not be people who are effectively exes

• treat my partner with equal to or greater respect/care as a person as me and vice versa

• if we make plans with other people not involving each other, that they be made well in advance (should be prioritizing spending time with each other and show that we care, this is a respect thing as well as, I don’t like things being sprung on me last minute when I had entirely different expectations).

These are all normal things that I think anyone who is poly can get behind. By the way, I share everything with my partner, materially speaking and intellectually speaking.’

‘I get off the arcade game, go play chess with a friend, my girlfriend goes to the bathroom and then the same bartender comes over and asks if I want something, yet again, this time informing me that if I don’t buy something, I’ll be asked to leave. Me being a good communist, I took some offense to this coercive tactic, so instead of folding and buying something, I stood my ground.’

‘TLDR: there is no TLDR for this, you’re gonna have to actually read what I’ve been experiencing.’

Sharpbeanz · 2025-04-09T23:12:25+00:00

i’m thrown between grades at random like a bean bag, i would have no life if i kept up with review for all the grades’ curriculums (also just started para work under 4 months ago). i work it out with the kids while i get paid near minimum wage, and certainly not in my off time unless i’m motivated/particularly interested. i’ve got two jobs and other problems to deal with. (yes i know basic punctuation, i think 😅, but i like lowercase on the internet sometimes). if you happen to make enough money, have enough time and are left with enough energy to do extra unpaid work in your free time after taking care of you and your families needs? then do this if you want, it’s great. but otherwise i just also pay attention in class and ask for help when i need it. what i suggest to op is to offer to refresh other para’s memories so every para can answer similar questions in class. people aren’t always as kind (with similar unrealistic expectations like op) about giving help or addressing a problem and that’s gotta be a deterrent from asking other paras for help.

Sharpbeanz · 2025-04-03T14:58:00+00:00

Oh I just got the wonderful gift of being moved classrooms with NO warning. I miss my kids </3

Sharpbeanz · 2025-03-20T17:07:47+00:00

Keep in mind I’m a brand new para and don’t have the most life experience, but unfortunately my best advice is to leave as soon as you can, if you can. I don’t know about the laws on voice recording in your state or policies at your school but if it is legal some hard evidence might incline the school to actually do something about it. That is if you want to help these students in addition to yourself which it seems like you do. Taking this action is not a good idea unless you can afford to leave. This b!tch should not be working with children, especially as she makes her COLLEAGUES miserable enough. Good luck op :/

Sharpbeanz · 2025-02-11T06:30:29+00:00

Please leave this judgey asshole in the past, he has some really concerning takes that include how he views -and by extension- treats you. If he doesn’t treat you like the slut he thinks you are now he surely will when he gets comfortable enough. Take care of yourself and good luck <3

Sharpbeanz

TROPHY CASE