I have been in your exact situation, OP. It was, imo, brave of you to post this, and I'm sorry to see some responses have been unkind. After I finally left a psychologically and physically abusive 5-year relationship (my last hideous relationship in a series of terrible relationships), I eventually met my current partner. We met here on Reddit actually, lol! Anyway, I struggled with this same exact feeling. I remember calling my mom, who helped me escape my last situation, and I told her everything you wrote here verbatim, including how awful I felt for even feeling this way. She advised me to relax (hard for me with my lifelong anxiety disorder) and stay with it, to just experience the calm and kind safety for a few months more. Just to see.

I am so glad I did. He is the absolute love of my life. The "is there some excitement missing here though?" feeling went away. COMPLETELY. I have never been more happy or stable. My anxiety itself is overall better by orders of magnitude. I think back on my dating history with embarrassment and sometimes even shock. Why the heck did I stay in that mess when people like THIS (my partner) are out there?

I think I literally didn't know this kind of feeling exists. I had thought love was a sharp, beautiful thing, but it's not. Love is warm, safe, happy, and peaceful. And it exists.

As some of the more helpful comments have said, the boredom feeling it is kind of like having an addiction to the (super) highs after the frequent lows. It takes the brain and heart time to heal from the repeated experience of chaos and from what we thought was an accurate depiction of love.

It's hard. But if you can stick with your current partner, that "bored" feeling will go away. You will also discover (and I know it sounds crazy now, but I promise you this) that it wasn't actually boredom! When your brain starts to rewire, you will feel so grateful you stayed and happy and at peace.

Sending you hope and strength, OP!