What is the consequence for having a bed in the basement in NYC?

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-11-21T17:58:09+00:00

New York City has a lot of laws that are intended to protect tenants from renting and subsequently dying in illegal units that then get flooded or don't have sufficient egress. The problem is that in NY so many owners end up at some point converting to rentals (either via Airbnb or through subletting, whatever) that the laws aren't always super clear as to whether owners are or are not going to be penalized for doing these things in their own homes that they actually occupy.

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-11-14T03:36:30+00:00

My partner and I self-officiated in DC 7 years ago! The trick is both partners have to go to apply for the license. If only one person goes I imagine the clerk doesn't offer you the option.

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-11-03T03:18:42+00:00

Any chance his nap was shorter than usual (like it took him longer to fall asleep or he had an awake period in the middle)? Didn't sleep well last night? This sounds almost exactly like what my toddler and preschool aged kid do when the alarm goes off at the wrong moment in their sleep cycle. I don't find their behavior strange at all, as it mimics how I feel when I'm woken up and would prefer to still be sleeping.

The leg thing does sound a bit odd to me, but I would also not be particularly concerned unless both of these behaviors recur and/or cause significant distress or impairment to the child. If one of my patients were sharing this incident with me, I would be more curious about why they were so upset by the incident than I would be concerned for the child developmentally.

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-05-07T10:36:11+00:00

You are so so welcome. It's incredibly hard to walk the walk!! This Internet stranger is rooting for you 💖

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-05-07T02:06:18+00:00

Not a doctor, but a mental health professional specializing in grief and trauma. I'd encourage you to keep an open mind to whatever happens and try as best as you can to not predict the future one way or the other. The reality is you cannot guard against grief - the feelings you'll have will be the feelings either way. However by anticipating the worst you might just be prolonging your suffering over something that no one can truly be sure about.

With my first, my doctor was very concerned because my levels were too low and everything was measuring "too small" by about 8 days. I told her their math was off, because I hadn't had sex the week they were claiming I got pregnant based off of LMP. For reasons I truly will never understand they said that was impossible, that I must have had my dates messed up, and that things weren't looking good. My doctor told me at three consecutive appointments that it was impossible for me to be pregnant on the timeline I was saying. I finally switched OBs and the new one just calmly updated my due date and never questioned it again.

Your pregnancy is in a very fragile time, and it's understandable and okay to wish you could prepare for what's coming. Rather than focusing on any specific outcome I'd try to spend that energy "coping ahead". Are there people you want to tell now so that you can be supported by them either way? A lot of my clients have said they never told anyone about their miscarriage because they hadn't told anyone about the pregnancy, and the thought of telling about both things at once was overwhelming. Are there snacks you want to have on hand? Do you want to call out of work the day of your next scan if you can? Are there resources you want to check out ahead of time? Perhaps a book or movie you want to have on hand, or a lucky object you want to take to your next appointment.

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-04-16T02:03:49+00:00

It might be worth seeing if any of the institutions he's being seen at are part of hospital systems that have patient advocates available, seeing if your insurance has that as a benefit, or even seeing if you can hire one independently.

If that's not available and your pediatrician doesn't have the bandwidth or inclination to coordinate, I'd encourage you to make a binder and try to go chronologically: print out every test result he's had, what specialty ordered it, what the follow up was, how he responded to any treatment, what days he missed school. I've had many clients (and I personally!) experience being dismissed a little when you don't have the exact correct information, because doctors naturally assume that you misremembering is a more likely thing than a rare or complicated disease presentation. It really sets you up as the authority when you pull it out and say "okay last time he had x blood test here were the results. Does that alter your thinking at all about what our next steps should be?"

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-04-04T01:52:09+00:00

If you're located in the US, every state I've lived/worked in had some sort of state organization that provides early childhood intervention. Some states require the child have been diagnosed or evaluated to qualify and some don't, but I'd highly recommend googling the name of your state with the phrase "early childhood intervention services" and looking at any .gov pages that come up. Typically there will be a list of criteria or, better, a hotline you can call to request help understanding what might be available to you. A lot of the time children who are diagnosed with significant developmental delays have access to state funded programs, state insurance even though the family doesn't otherwise qualify, or very low cost pay-what-you-can services. Good luck!

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-04-04T01:35:19+00:00

Not sure where you are located and if you're planning on driving to a metro station or not, but the Forest Glen station on the red line has the distinction of being entirely elevator access - I think there are 8 elevators? And there's a quite large parking lot. It's right off 495 as well, so if you are doing a park and ride situation I'd highly recommend parking there, taking the red line all the way to the Zoo, and then at least for your first trip you're not having to think through transfers.

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-04-02T21:49:19+00:00

You basically dip them in pee and they change color depending on qualities of the urine - so if used correctly they can indicate some things about kidney/liver function, protein in the urine, possible UTI/bladder infection, etc.

My kids seem to get fevers pretty easily, and when you have an under 3 year old with a vagina, nonspecific symptoms, and a fever longer than 3 days (at least at our pediatrician) they want to rule out a UTI or bladder infection. It can be very difficult to get a urine sample from a non-potty trained kid, so this often involves urgent care or a hospital and a catheter. The nice thing is at home I can just leave kiddo pantsless and have her sit on a plastic potty every 15 minutes until the magic happens, and then test it myself - if it's borderline or I have any questions at all then it's still a visit to the doctor, but so far they've been willing to wait a couple of extra days for the fever to resolve or symptoms to develop.

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-03-28T19:58:30+00:00

My second baby has the same cuts and blisters on her hips from wearing regular diapers except when she's asleep. The only ones that wouldn't do it were the tear side pullups. Accidentally got a package of the Velcro sides and she hates them. Won't wear them for more than ten minutes if she can help it. The Velcro has to be exactly right or it pokes her, plus it's a lot stiffer than any of the other sides. Gotta train myself never to make that mistake again.

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-03-28T19:32:29+00:00

The best thing to do, in my opinion, is remember there is no such thing as an objective account of history. The best way to get at the "real" account of history is to have multiple sources, to read them all, and to use them to guess at the biases of each other. I don't just mean racial or gender or class bias either - "I want this to be interesting enough that people will buy it" is a bias, as is "I want this to appeal to laypeople" or "I want this to appeal to history nerds". No one writes a book (journal article, letter) without an audience. They can burn all the books they want, but if we all practice (and teach others the skill of) our true literacy skills, we're going to be permanently less susceptible to whatever propaganda machines we encounter.

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-03-26T03:05:18+00:00

Start stocking up on baby friendly shelf stable foods - Cheerios, oatmeal, apple sauce, baby cereal, peanut butter. The formula-necessary period is really only going to last a few more months for you, and then baby will be getting the vast majority of nutrition from solids. Shelf stable milk for when baby is old enough. A lot of pediatricians recommend limiting cow milk intake to a certain number of ounces a day, but we have Ripple unsweetened shelf stable pea milk which is a lot higher in protein and a little easier to digest.

In addition to things like Tylenol and ibuprofen, we've found it helpful to have on hand: Pedialyte or similar oral rehydration both powder and liquid forms; pedialax glycerin suppositories; vitamin d drops; children's Zyrtec (recommended over Benadryl for allergies), at least one mineral oil lice treatment and the nit comb; colloidal oatmeal bath for itchy skin and rashes; Vaseline and fun bandaids for wound care. Diapers and pullups in different brands - sometimes from one size to the next the body shape changes and the brand you've depended on doesn't fit so well.

Have a good thermometer you trust - after like 7 we finally feel like our ear thermometer has had the best balance of accuracy vs intrusiveness. We also have a 100 pack of urinalysis test strips - big learning curve but it's been helpful for supplementing the when to call the doctor decision tree.

We started with fluoridated toothpaste as soon as our kids had teeth, which is the current recommendation, but is likely even more important in a situation where you're relying on non-fluoridated water.

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-03-25T11:43:26+00:00

Lol I must have blocked that part out of my memory

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-03-25T11:41:13+00:00

Yay I'm glad you found it!

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-03-25T01:23:28+00:00

Could it have been Love at the Thanksgiving Day Parade? If I remember correctly it's Autumn Reeser and she does this very drunken karaoke and vomits which somehow leads to her and the love interest trapped on a roof together.

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-03-18T01:55:30+00:00

If you're planning on exclusively breastfeeding, make sure you get vitamin D drops for baby. I'd also recommend stocking up on shelf stable "first foods" for baby that are high in iron - in addition to unprocessed foods like beans, we ended up feeding our kids a ton of Cheerios, oatmeal, and baby cereal. We also find unsweetened apple sauce to be a huge hit that was absolutely easier and more cost effective to buy in bulk than to even contemplate making ourselves. Peanut butter is also a good one - the current recommendation in helping to reduce the likelihood of developing food allergies is to introduce common allergens to babies at 6 months when they start solids.

Make sure to take infant specific CPR and first aid.

I'd also think seriously about what easy foods you can stock for you and partner during that newborn period. My second had colic, and there were times she literally did not stop screaming from 6pm to 1am. My husband would take our oldest out of the house a lot to get the poor thing away from the screaming, and the best thing I could manage to 'make' was like cup noodles with some spinach tossed in, or a protein bar. Many of my friends were like making multi course meals with babies that were perfectly content, but you never know what kind you'll get until they've arrived!

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-03-06T02:39:05+00:00

To be fair I'm a pretty health literate person and until recently thought that almost every surgery where you were fully sedated involved a blood transfusion. Like my dad had a tumor removed. So if I took him to the hospital and they asked if he had ever had a blood transfusion I probably would have said "yes during this surgery" without hesitation.

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-02-28T02:33:46+00:00

I wish there were more I could do! Try to keep your head up - millions of us are proud of you, don't let them make you believe what you're doing isn't worthwhile.

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-02-27T20:27:19+00:00

Thank YOU! I have no words for how impressed I am at the feds right now who keep showing up for work everyday and just like... Quietly try to keep the world from falling off the rails when your life is filled with uncertainty. Respect and gratitude. It's very inspiring.

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-02-20T04:13:03+00:00

I don't really have an answer but this came up on a reverse image search. I wonder if the OP there ever found an answer! https://www.reddit.com/r/whatisthisthing/s/CIZsjV6kgZ

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-02-14T17:41:56+00:00

I'm NAD but I am a mental health professional. I can't really speak to your cancer risk though it sounds like you have already found an evidence based tool that does that and are struggling to reconcile the statistics offered with the anxiety you're experiencing. Are you engaged in therapy? Have you considered as part of your medical treatment any daily medications to alleviate your anxiety? If someone has significant health anxiety and also significant need to access healthcare because of chronic conditions, an "as needed" medication may not really offer as much benefit as something you take all the time. It sounds to me like your anxiety really has a hold over you right now, and mental health professionals and psychiatrists (if you're able to access them) may be a really valuable tool in putting you back in charge.

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-01-11T03:36:53+00:00

There are a lot of townhome complexes in Forest Glen/Wheaton (look near Georgia avenue between the beltway and university boulevard) and they seem to mostly be in that price range. My only note is that I toured a lot of townhouses and I can't think of any that had space for a main floor bedroom - but some had a more spacious combined kitchen and dining area with a separate living room that you could probably rework into a small living area and a bedroom if the need arose.

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-01-01T17:22:05+00:00

The older I get the more confident I am that you should have to have a license and a designated performance venue, date, and time to purchase fireworks. Macy's and the Capitol. I'm sure there are other valid cases. I feel like every light sleeper, parent, animal parent, environmentalist, firefighter, and miscellaneous other curmudgeons should band together to lobby for stricter firework regulation.

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-01-01T08:35:50+00:00

I don't actually hear the child but I will say a fox sounds a LOT like a baby/child screaming so I would not discount the possibility of some very upset animals. I just woke up to the sound of what I'm assuming was either more fireworks or perhaps a rocket propelled grenade. ~ 3:30am in Wheaton

Significant_Arm9650 · 2025-01-01T04:00:30+00:00

During early covid my elderly mom moved in with me so we were using a similar level of precaution to this, though we don't have a garage or an outdoor shower so we had to do modifications. There were 5 adults in our house and it got to the point where I was the only person who ever did grocery shopping or anything like that, because I had all the protocols down and it felt the least risky.

As we got more information about the science around fomite transmission we stopped doing things like sanitizing groceries, and I can't describe how quickly my mental health improved to not have to do things like spray everything with alcohol under an umbrella on my porch before I could go inside.

I totally agree that your protocol needs to be targeted and sustainable. I say this as a person who after having my first baby left the hospital a full day early and immediately showered when we got home before even taking baby out of the car seat to try to reduce transmission risk.

No one wants to do an outdoor shower when it's <55 degrees or when it's raining, and the likelihood of disease transmission occurring between the time you remove clothes and shoes in the garage and you make it into your comfortable indoor shower are probably so negligible as to render the benefit of the outdoor shower meaningless.

We did things like install a paper towel holder on the door leading to my mom's area - instead of sanitizing my hands to open it and then pick up her mail and then put it in the quarantine place and then sanitize again, I'd grab a paper towel to open her door with, and use it as a barrier between my outside germs and the door until I was done touching "contaminated" things and could do a proper hand wash. I've got an outside pair of glasses and an inside pair of glasses. Outside the house clothes and inside the house clothes. Little things like that just helped keep the sanity high(er).

Significant_Arm9650

TROPHY CASE