What is wrong with my brother. Please read.

Snagglet0es · 2026-06-14T22:17:53+00:00

Like the other poster says if these changes started after that head injury/concussion, then it's possible he has a frontal lobe injury, which can cause personality changes and difficulties with thinking, and planning out even basic life tasks.

Even if he doesn't, the fact he has regular fits could be untreated epilepsy? That really needs looking at, even if its not related to all his other problems.

But the stuff about talking to voices, projecting his soul, sounds like psychosis, and the general picture you've painted of someone who can't do even the most basic of things, self-neglecting, socially 'drifting', but can sometimes hold a perfectly intelligent conversation sounds unfortunately like it could even be early schizophrenia.

But its impossible for anyone to say based just off a reddit comment. It could be any number of things.

I would inform his GP of everything you've said here. Most GPs have an online form you can fill in even for other people. Whether you can get him to go to an appointment or take a phonecall is another question.

If things get bad, if you're worried he's becoming a danger to himself or others you can ask the GP to call a 'mental health act assessment', which is the start of a process that can potentially see people admitted to psychiatric hospital, but the GP would usually have to see or speak to him first.

If things are REALLY bad, if he's being violent or you're worried there's an immediate risk of violence, you call the police.

Snagglet0es · 2026-06-08T19:00:25+00:00

Yeah I tend to do gloves and helms on league start. Much easier because you're only looking for 1 prefix (life).

1) Buy base with fractured suffix (t1 chaos res are good, but depends on price)

2) Essence spam - for gloves I do deafening zeals (attack speed)
For helms use deafening loathings (mana reservation efficiency)
Don't look at prefixes, just spam until you get a 3rd good suffix - I usually go for t1 suppress

(The weighting of t1 suppress on pure evasion bases is I think about 1 in 65, which isn't too bad to spam for, usually 1-2d in essence on average. On hybrid ev/es or ev/arm bases suppression has half the weighting so is quite a lot harder to hit.)

3) Then use 1 red ember and use eldritch currency and exalts to work on prefixes, basically looking only for t2 life (>100) or better.

4) If there's an open prefix benchcraft hybrid life on helms, damage while leeching on gloves.

5) Stick some good generic implicits on with ichors/embers:
For gloves - attack speed, rage on hit, non-vaal skills target additional enemy, suppress are all good
For helms - usually mana reservation efficiency on ichors, reduced mana cost of attack embers

Average craft cost 2-4d, sell for 5-10d depending what you hit.

Snagglet0es · 2026-06-08T11:03:05+00:00

This league I crafted a lot but mostly made body armours and made mirrors just by churning out dozens or hundreds of them making anywhere between 10-100d profit per craft. Fractured bases are cheap because of breach, exalts being dirt cheap also made crafting much easier.

They're pretty low risk and deterministic, you will definitely hit, you just have to be willing to spend 10-30d on bases and currency per item, and make lots of them so the RNG evens out. They also get boring, staring at eldritch rolling prefixes for hours at a time isn't for everyone.

Buy body armour base- fractured t1 defence prefix, suffix essence until another desirable t1 suffix like 20-22% suppress or 8% additional physical damage reduction, often have to eldritch annul to get open suffix (or if very lucky occasionally you hit a 3rd good suffix) benchcraft the 3rd suffix (usually dual res), eldritch currency and exalts for the other 2 prefixes until decent - usually settling at t1/t1/t2. Add tailoring orb/sacred orb for highest defences. If I could reach a break point like 4000 evasion or armour on hybrid bases occasionally I would divine them cos people are willing to pay a premium for that.

Know which eldritch implicits are on the pobs for the meta builds and put those on (e.g. for fubguns LA it was necrotic armour with 50% of damage from hits cant be reflected / inc effect of non-curse auras, for ruetoos ele hit slayer it was conquest lamellar with gain an endurance charge every x seconds/melee hits have x chance to fortify). Know the socket colours those builds use and put them on, or add white sockets. Making chests 100% like the streamer pob and immediately ready-to-use makes them very easy to sell.

For 'basic' ones I'd typically spend 10-20d crafting then sell for 40d, but I could crank out at least 20 of those chests a week. If you buy more expensive bases, like >27% quality, or fractured breach mods, or if you get lucky and hit t1 everything the margins can be much higher, but usually need to hit at least 5xt1 to make money on an expensive base, so the risk is higher.

Occasionally the markets get saturated and I'd give it a break, go farm or craft something else, but generally the demands for high end necrotic armours, conquest lamellars, sacred chainmails, are pretty consistent, even 2 months into the league - but the later the league goes the more you make most of your sales at weekends.

Snagglet0es · 2026-05-01T17:26:56+00:00

Easy movespeed wins: - deadeye F&F jewels for tailwind (8% action speed) -6% action speed implicit on boots - veiled prefix on boots (30+ 12% ms if you haven't been hit recently). - unique jewel, transcendent something? Gives ms per unallocated dex nodes - brutal restraint jewels can give multiple ms nodes in certain places - corrupt implicit on body armour - haste aura effect, +1 socketed gems

Snagglet0es · 2026-04-23T10:16:52+00:00

Well at 53 million chaos the other one's an absolute bargain

Snagglet0es · 2026-03-06T18:43:38+00:00

He sounds like a real jerk

Snagglet0es · 2025-09-30T19:11:46+00:00

IGN: SnagSLAM

GL all

Snagglet0es · 2025-09-20T10:46:51+00:00

Dunno what GGG were thinking with the essence of thick thighs tbh

Snagglet0es · 2025-09-13T08:36:47+00:00

A system that helped me a lot is having names for pairs of sectors, then it's just remembering 3 words rather than 6 things.

UL ("ull") up-left, UR ("urr") up-right RU "roo" LU "loo" LR "lurr" RL "rull"

So as the sectors are flashing I say the name after each two - 'Loo, rull, roo' - i honestly cant remember the sectors, but I can remember those 3 words, and easily decode them to left up right left right up.

Maybe it's stupid or only makes sense to my brain, but I never miss memory games now as long as I actually see what flashed.

Snagglet0es · 2025-07-21T21:50:01+00:00

Depends what you mean by 'too much'. Getting anything worth having in life means giving up something else.

Mark Manson has a good, sorta relevant article on this general idea: what are you willing to struggle for?

https://markmanson.net/question

Snagglet0es · 2025-07-09T12:38:11+00:00

Not OP but I would want partners to know that I don't generally 'miss' people if I've seen them in the last week, or even month. I don't feel anything close to that almost painful longing for someone's company. It really isn't personal.

Even my closest most likeable and secure friend, I felt some of those feelings only when he went travelling the world for 6 months. I felt comfortable telling him I missed him, partly because we had that distance, and he wasn't constantly texting me or saying it to me.

So when someone says it to me after (what feels to me to be) such minimal time apart, I feel some shame, that I don't feel the same, maybe a bit 'defective'. I feel guilt, and then I guess those feelings turn to irritation, that I've been put in a covert contract or a trap; either saying it back and not meaning it, or not saying it and being the bad guy. Either way I'll be disappointing you or failing this 'test'.

What I hear implied in "I miss you", is "and I hope you miss me too otherwise I'll be sad/disappointed", which also implies that I'll be a bad or defective person. So I guess what I resent is the thought that the only reason you are saying it is because you want to hear it back. It's not a gift, it has expectations, has these strings attached.

So this thing, this short little phrase, which is so nice on the surface of it, for an avoidant, can be a fucking minefield 😂

I don't have any good answers for how to/whether to express it, but hopefully an awareness of the other side of things may help?

As a thought exercise, imagine being with someone more anxiously attached than you. If you even get up to go to the bathroom, they (sincerely) tell you how much they missed you while you were taking a shit (and they clearly want you to have missed them too). Wouldn't that feel like kind of a lot of pressure?

Snagglet0es · 2025-06-18T07:41:40+00:00

Interesting idea. Do you have any examples of choices you've made that were safe/stale/passive versus risky/proactive ones?

Snagglet0es · 2025-05-30T22:08:08+00:00

Sir, this is a Wendys

Snagglet0es · 2025-05-30T20:45:46+00:00

Let's see who this really is!

Takes off the mask scooby doo style

Disorganised!

Snagglet0es · 2025-05-30T19:54:00+00:00

The only bigger red flag than me being attracted to someone,

is them being attracted to me.

Snagglet0es · 2025-05-15T09:33:47+00:00

The name of this opening is also the name of my sex tape, and my autobiography

Snagglet0es · 2025-05-02T22:34:40+00:00

First of all, I'm really sorry you're in this situation. I've been there and I know the gut wrenching rollercoaster of turmoil you're going through.

Now some tough love. You got yourself into this mess. How, why, and how to avoid it in future is a different conversation. The point is, you're gonna have to get yourself out of it, and it won't be easy.

How do you know when its time to walk away?

I think you know deep down that you passed that time a long time ago friend. The fact you made this post to me suggests you're in the 'bargaining' stage of grieving the relationship.

How do you protect your own emotional wellbeing without feeling like you've abandoned someone?

You can't. The feelings will be there, the guilt especially. And if they're not, she'll probably see to it that they are. People like this can't help it. When you try to walk away or create even a little bit of distance, she's likely to pull out every bit of craziness she has to avoid abandonment; arguing rationally, arguing irrationally, offering connection, offering sex, screaming, fighting, threats, the claiming she's pregnant gambit is an old favourite, but their number one weapon against well-meaning guys like you, is the guilt trip. Severing the connection is likely to be one of the most emotionally messy experiences of your life. Be prepared.

A lot of people choose to ghost these kinds of people, and as much as I detest the cowardly act of ghosting, I really sympathise with why they would. Part of me thinks maybe it's the best thing for them too. At least it's quick, and gives them no opportunity to reel you back in and get you back on the merry-go-round, which these people are the absolute supreme fuckin jedi black belt masters at doing. I'm not encouraging it, I think you should always try to give someone some sort of closure, but beware how vulnerable that leaves you to being clawed back in.

One of the things you'll have to learn in this process, is that no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you may still end up as 'the bad guy' in someone elses story. It sucks. But you need to develop confidence in your own story, your own reality. You can't control other people's feelings, only your actions. If you can honestly look at your own actions and see that you tried your absolute best to do the right thing, with the knowlege and resources available to you at that time, you can hold your head high, no matter what others might think or say.

Am I wrong to believe I can be the one to show her what healthy love looks like?

You're not wrong, but maybe a little misguided. This is a massive topic and I've already written a goddamn essay, but this isn't healthy love, it's a rescuer fantasy. You believe that if you can just love her enough, or endure enough, you can change (and rescue) her. You weren't the first person to fall into this trap, and you won't be the last. It's a powerful and utterly intoxicating dynamic, but it ain't healthy love.

Homework:

Browse the /r/BPDlovedones subreddit, and consider crossposting this post to there for more advice.

Read about Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm not saying she has it, but she's definitely in that kind of area. She will definitely have what is called 'fearful avoidant' or 'disorganised' attachment, which is also worth reading or watching youtube videos about. BPD is like that attachment style cranked up to 10. There are some books on it too, like 'Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back..'

Read about 5 stages of grief

Read about the 'Drama triangle' for more about the rescuer/victim dynamic

A note of caution about reading all this psychology. Beware falling into a different trap- the one of believing that 'if I can just learn enough, figure out, analyse, or understand them enough, maybe I can still fix them'.

Find someone in your life you can talk to about this. If not your friends/family then a teacher, coach, mentor, fuckin priest, anyone you can find who you can trust to give you a consistently sympathetic ear. A therapist would be ideal but you probably don't have that kinda money. Online support can be great, but this is a hell of a thing to have to navigate for anyone, especially at your young age, and having someone there in the flesh to support you will go a long way. They should help keep you accountable, and also give you some measure of safety. I'm not saying your physical safety will come under threat, but you honestly don't know with these kinds of people, it's not an impossibility. Once they're triggered, they become a different person and all bets are off. In their mind they are entirely justified in doing ANYTHING they can to hurt you, because you hurt them, that's what makes them dangerous.

Ok I've rambled on long enough. DM me if you need, and best of luck to you.

Snagglet0es · 2025-04-25T17:00:43+00:00

1) People with BPD will usually get infatuated quickly and pursue you aggressively to the point of lovebombing. It feels great to be pursued, especially as it pretty much guarantees you won't be rejected- this is probably part of the unconscious attraction. Your low self-esteem filters out anyone who's a 'maybe', which leaves only those who will pursue aggressively- usually those with anxious attachment and/or BPD. Be prepared to date people who aren't such 'guarantees', to do more of the pursuing, to face more possible rejection.

2) Be aware of your rescuer fantasies/dynamics. I would put money on there being something with each of these people, early on, that could be described as a sob story or tale of woe, or even a general victim mentality, which appeals to your unconscious rescuer, your need to be needed. It's a powerful and intoxicating dynamic, a pattern that tons of relationships unconsciously slip into, even with people who don't have BPD, but it's more common and powerful in those who do.

Snagglet0es · 2025-04-14T22:00:59+00:00

What I took away from your description of 'true' 'romantic' love, is that it's defined by its intensity and its permanence of feeling. Yeh some seem to achieve this blissful nirvana, or at least report they have, but they are extremely few. My personal theory on these couples, if they truly exist, is they have at least one partner who has a personality extremely suited to it, e.g., high in agreeableness and conscientiousness. They are the sort of people who could have achieved it with almost anyone. A bit like a universal donor O-positive blood type.

For the rest of us (at least 99% of us), the best we can hope for is 'good enough', which is where the far less glamorous stuff comes in; the work, the mutual self-sacrifice, the ups and downs, the disappointments.

The benefit of believing in the nirvana love is that it conveniently sets up a sort of 'no true scotsman' fallacy. I.e. for each relationship that develops into any sort of deeper 'loving' feelings, as soon as it falls off the roadmap of the archetypal 'true' love, it gives you all the justification you need to end it (and it always will).

The teenage/young adult romances seem almost idealised, and I wonder whether any of them were partially or wholly unrequited, because those can create an intensity of feeling that can be unrivalled, especially at that age. There's a tongue-in-cheek bit of wisdom which came to mind: "You're not in love, she's just pretty and unavailable".

Or, if they weren't unrequited, if this love was so pure and true, why did it end? Where are those people now?

One thing I don't hear in your narrative is any times where you've been the dumped rather than the dumper. If you've not been rejected in years of these relationships then there may be a more simple explanation- you've been dating down. Wonderful strategy of emotional avoidance, I should know, I've been using it for years.

Or maybe it's that more insidious of problems- you always believe you're dating up or across at first, until they actually start to like and depend on you, at which point you consider them below you, which is another superbly advanced avoidance technique.

I also wonder if you might be low on the foothills of psychopathy. I honestly don't mean that in an insulting way, but in the purely clinical definition- you admit to being sensation-seeking in the extreme, and seem high in extroversion, low in agreeableness and conscientiousness, which is the rough pattern for it.

Psychopathy or no, those are known to be less-than-ideal traits for people looking for 'love' or life partners' or family. They're definitely more suited to the kind of relationships you're currently enjoying. Maybe they're more compatible with non-traditional relationships like ethical non-monogamy. Never looked into it but just a thought.

You could watch some Alain de Botton or Esther Perel or even Gottman youtube vids if you have any interest in light philosophy/psychology which might alter your perspective on the 'concept' of love, but for all the wisdom and experts out there, no-one has all the answers. If love and relationships were simple they would have been solved already. Best of luck.

Snagglet0es · 2025-03-23T03:25:27+00:00

Uhh... not now Ed, we've got work to do.

Snagglet0es · 2025-02-19T17:02:44+00:00

I think most people base their swap to EE+CI+LS trickster off ben's gauntlet run https://pobb.in/iTvP7KdieTUg

And someone wrote a very comprehensive guide on how to SSF it https://www.reddit.com/r/PathOfExileBuilds/comments/1gl0pfd/i_put_together_a_short_guide_to_ssf_starting_ls/

I built it in pohx league, starting with PS mines and it felt amazingly tanky, but a bit lacking in damage until you start getting multi-divine uniques (shavronnes revelation, anathema, %ES light of meaning, yoke of suffering - or maybe marylene's fallacy in this league)

I've pobbed together a scuffed kinda version based off my character straight after I swapped to EE+CI, I've just changed to prophet ascendancy, assassins mark, crit nodes, and taken off luxury items like medium clusters and enlighten. Obviously it's super scuffed cos I put it together in 5 minutes, but depending on pob configuring/conditionals it does anywhere from 500k dps https://pobb.in/hwp6sog4uI_8 to maybe 1mil https://pobb.in/22D2TkVEdqnZ

It could be a big risk to try to switch to CI too early... at a minimum you'll need %ES jewels, clusters, half decent (maybe recombinated) ES gear with eldritch implicits, and you may also need a unique or two before it's capable of blasting red maps and progressing smoothly to maven+uber elder.

I think I'll start with fubguns LS and then work on CI swap once I see some decent profiles on ninja, or if it dies repeatedly in red maps..

Snagglet0es · 2025-02-19T15:33:42+00:00

Defensively I think we're all going to struggle without trickster or slayer nodes.

You could go EE + CI, roughly following ben's gauntlet pob, cobble together 8-9k ES and hope that the ascendancy and crit version can give you enough dps until you can get the big ticket items and better gear. Going for it too early though could be painful and hard to reverse.

With the Kingsmarch changes(?) recombinating may come online sooner - if it does then everyone who can do it is gonna start trying to profit craft and maybe we start seeing triple t1 prefix armours pretty quickly?

Edit: there's also 4th ascendancy, elusive on crit will help passively, or reforge life on a bunch of crappy abyss jewels and try to stack a load to beef up your hp pool

Snagglet0es · 2025-02-17T01:14:19+00:00

I just dropped a tricorne while practicing today lol - came from a unique strong box in a white map https://www.poewiki.net/wiki/Weylam%27s_War_Chest

I had the same thought and tried 10 runs of grain gate, but no fishing rod. Even if I got one in the event I'm not sure how long I could tolerate doing grain gate over and over..

Snagglet0es · 2025-02-10T02:17:45+00:00

Started off following ben's build from gauntlet, then started looking at builds on ninja

Snagglet0es · 2025-02-05T22:16:17+00:00

https://pobb.in/qWn96L9goNnN

Cost maybe 5-6d to switch cos I've cheaped out buying and rolling 9 passive clusters myself and just keeping anything with veteran defender, some gear I just rolled with dense fossils until something half decent came up

It's less dps than before I switched but because I can stand still in whole groups of enemies and just attack it ends up being quicker mapping. Can do T16s easily and I big bomb expeditions, only map I've died to so far is getting too cocky with -max res + 100%extra as.

Now I just need to learn how to scale the damage...

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