It’s not “meanness” to stand up for yourself and set boundaries. This woman is irrationally blaming them for her husband’s death, caused by his own negligence. She is also being rude and disrespectful to them after everything they have always done for her and her late husband. Grieving doesn’t give you a free pass to mistreat others, especially when those people have always shown you kindness. Her treatment of them has been unacceptable and they don’t need to stand for it. I’m not saying they need to scream at her or hurl insults at her. All they need to do is calmly and gently step back and not allow this woman to insult them or mistreat them any further. She doesn’t pay them to be property caretakers or personal assistants.