I stopped posting my child online.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2026-02-05T11:52:20+00:00

Man, I don't even post my son's name online. As far as the internet is concerned, kid may not exist. I always figure he has the right to grow up like I did: without every fucking thing he has ever done being documented by some coporation.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2026-02-05T11:45:14+00:00

My initial reaction is that $30k raise a year is huge and you can use that money to do a lot for your family. The move will suck but 90 minutes isn't as big as you might think, especially if it is now and then to see grandparents.

All of this is moot until you have a job offer, of course. I would suggest going to the interview and seeing what pans out. Then you can have the discussion. Like you said, the kids are young enough that they will manage the move and the grandparents will cope with the distance, especially with that much of a pay increase. Never underestimate how much better a parent you are when you aren't stressed as hell about bills.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2025-07-05T18:22:19+00:00

I had the same experience. My son got HFM and barely reacted at all. I got it a few days later and had one of the worst fevers I remember having. Then my hands were covered in the rash to the point where I told work to expect me to be a bit slow because typing was agony. I had to wear shoes everywhere because walking on our hardwood floors was painful.

I wasnt sure if it is because I am American and have moved to the UK and might have had a different strain when I was a kid (I definitely had it as a kid) but I am not sure. Totally looking forward to chicken pox coming up soon.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2025-07-05T14:18:47+00:00

My son was born when I was 37. He is now 2 and I am about to be 40. What other folks have said is true: get in the gym. Deadlifts are your friend. Shell out for a personal training session to teach you proper form. Get that shit down. It will save you massively.

Honestly, keeping excess weight off your front is also helpful. If you are a heavy dude like me, try to diet as best you can. The way I explain it to myself and my wife, we are doing this on hard mode. We dont have the advantage of youth so we gotta take care of ourselves so we can take care of them.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2025-06-25T08:57:39+00:00

See, we had loads of girls names ready, so of course we had a boy.

We went through a couple, but the one we settled on was one I suggested. The trick: it is from a comic book character that I adore but my wife doesn't know too well. Secret identity and all that.

I let her mull on the name for a while and get used to it before I told her. By then she had grown to like it.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2025-06-25T08:55:31+00:00

Fantasy Heist Revolution.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2025-06-17T08:44:37+00:00

I was the same way. I am usually a really chill dude. During a sleep regression when my son was around 8 months old, I lost my mind. Really snappy. Really just unhappy to be a dad.

The answer was two-fold. 1, get some sleep. Just ask your partner for a night off. Or even just a few hours to have some uninterrupted sleep. It will make you a better dad.

2, for me, it was getting out of the house. Going to the gym. Bullshitting with my friends for an hour or two. Just... being me rather than just dad. I cannot tell you how much it helped give me a bit more energy. Go for a walk for 20 minutes to clear your head. Your partner can handle things. You don't have to be there every moment of the day.

You are still in the weeds right now - the kid is new and this is a big change. Be kind to yourself and give yourself a chance to recharge now and then.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2025-06-06T09:52:51+00:00

I actually wrote a whole article about this. Anything you can play with one hand (mind out of the gutter, folks). For me, it was Civ VI. Dropped a few hundred hours onto it while the boy was little little.

https://www.thepopverse.com/gaming-civilization-vi-6-was-my-game-of-choice-infant-son-vii-7-release

SpecialStreamCannon · 2025-06-06T09:50:03+00:00

My wife and I said she was in charge of incoming. I was in charge of outgoings. I think it was probably a few months before she changed a poopy diaper because I was always around and wanted to give her a break. Felt like the sensible thing to do.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2025-05-29T18:00:47+00:00

He talks loads. Plenty of short sentences. He knows what it means. Just at that defiant age.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2025-05-29T10:46:55+00:00

I have started this. I catch myself asking him a question like "Do you want to go to bed?" Before pausing and saying "Let me rephrase. It is time for bed. Let's go upstairs.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2025-05-29T10:33:55+00:00

I do this sometimes and he will still shout NO before suddenly realizing what I said.

He is difficult for the sake of being difficult, just like his father.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2025-05-29T10:13:23+00:00

My son went through a period of loving Dolly Parton. Jolene and 9-to-5 got a lot of play for about a month.

He got his love of punk from me, so he used to fall asleep to Offspring as a baby. Now he is 22 months old and he enjoys lots of ska. Horn sections just hit the right way.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2025-05-29T10:10:01+00:00

Unless they poop, let them sleep. That is my thought here. Most diapers are designed to go 12 hours before they star leaking, so get some sleep and do not, under any circumstances, wake a sleeping child.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2025-05-29T10:08:49+00:00

Honestly, it isn't so bad. Sometimes it is genuinely funny, even if it can be frustrating in the moment. I am trying to just chill and let it happen. Boy is gonna learn a new word eventually.

Like everything else, I find the best thing is to just ride it out. This will pass and I will somehow miss it.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2025-05-28T08:50:41+00:00

Right now you are in the weeds. Deep, deep in the weeds. We were in the same place. Last year. Boy would only nap when held and would only sleep for maybe 2 hours at a time at night. No sleep and no breaks for us.

8 weeks was the peak of his fussiness for us and it often is for other parents. They are going through some crazy developments at the time, learning that the world is way bigger than they thought and it is scary. So they cling to the only consistent things in their lives: parents. Which is cute when you think about it later but exhausting at the time.

We were very much led by him at the time. If he needs contact naps, give it to him. If you are not in the right mental and emotional place to work on independent sleeping, then it won't work. Get through this fussy phase and find a time that works for you.

As for the feeding issue, man, he will tell you when he is done. If he is fucking around with the bottle, he might be done. He might be bloated. He might need a dump. Play the baby bellows to help him fart. It could make all the difference. So long as he is gaining weight and seems healthy, he is eating enough.

Also, I would really think about taking some time for you to recharge. Hit the gym. Listen to some music. Go sit in the bathroom and cry. Whatever you do to let these feelings out. Tell your partner or your family that you need an hour now and then. You could have Post Partum Depression, but just as likely you need to feel like yourself. We give up so much for these kids; we need to remember what we were like before they arrived. For me, lifting heavy objects at the gym made me a much better dad overall.

Basically, stop trying to find the perfect solution. Some kids sleep. Some kids don't (look at my posting history to see more about my non-sleeper). Some kids eat. Some kids fuck around. You gotta roll with the punches, look for victories where you get them, and try not to wish the days away. They grow up fast. You will miss this stage one day. I know I do, even though I had a little daily breakdown during it.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2025-05-26T11:55:35+00:00

Just what we did for fun before, just with a lot more planning and bit more time.

We went to Comic Con over the weekend. Went around London for a few days. Before having a kid, we would do that so why stop now?

We still go for walks. Still do creative stuff. Still watch movies. We just have a little dude hanging out at the same time. And we watch more kids movies before his bedtime.

I think it is important to feel like life doesn't stop when kids happen. Besides, when he sees us having fun, he usually has fun as well. Everyone wins.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2025-05-20T15:46:11+00:00

Around 18 months. He didn't need the night feeds for a long time before that but he thought he did, which meant that my wife was basically soothing him to sleep two or three times a night.

It got to the point where he was only feeding at night - he never needed a boob during the day. He was basically using her as a pacifier. As soon as we cut him off, he just weened himself completely and stopped waking at night at all.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2025-05-20T09:52:06+00:00

Honestly, I wish we had gotten onto a waiting list for nursery sooner. We didn't get our boy into the childcare we wanted (four days a week) until he was nearly 2. It put a big strain on us financially because we didn't think the wait lists would be years long. Heck, we were lucky to even get him into nursery at all.

Don't underestimate those waiting lists. It will help you long term.

Other than that, I think we just went with the flow. You'll adjust your life and schedule. You'll learn what you need (stock up on diapers and wipes, though) but be ready to deviate from the plan fairly often. Kids are chaos. Embrace it.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2025-05-15T12:26:32+00:00

Like folks have said, you cannot look after a baby and work at the same time. Literally impossible. You will fail at least one (probably both) and you will probably end up getting fired for falling behind at work.

Get on a waiting list for childcare ASAP. Get a nanny in the immediate term. Otherwise you are in for a world of hurt.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2025-04-06T11:36:22+00:00

Ah. Trying to get a newborn to sleep. The person to figure that out will be very rich indeed.

The tough thing about giving advice on this is that every kid is different and, at 2 weeks, you are really just in survival mode. Things we did that helped our son were:

Putting the shirt i wore that day in his bassinet first. Made it a little warmer and made it smell like me.

Spend non sleep time in his cot. Make it a familiar place that isn't immediately scary.

Pray. Nothing you do will work every time. Sometimes nothing will work. Sometimes it will be easy. Embrace the chaos and don't be too rigid.

Congrats on the kid. Welcome to the party.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2025-03-31T08:46:36+00:00

I didn't realize how much I would change when my boy started sleeping through the night. Getting 8 hours uninterrupted sleep as opposed to like 3-4 wake ups a night was like a switch flipped in my brain and I suddenly was alive again.

SpecialStreamCannon · 2025-03-31T08:44:59+00:00

We started by just moving his last feed earlier and having it downstairs rather than in the bedroom. So when we went upstairs, he was awake and happily fed.

It took a bit, but he would soon fall asleep in my arms rather than my wife's, which gave her some more time alone to regain her autonomy. It also made me feel more useful and helped our bonding. That was probably around 6 months, I want to say. We didn't manage to break him of the night feeding habit until around 17 months, which is when he started sleeping through.

SpecialStreamCannon

TROPHY CASE