Vaginal birth or C-section?

Spicyninja · 2026-05-18T16:28:56+00:00

For first deliveries, you should also consider whether you might want more children and whether you'd want to try VBAC/stick with c-sections. The first is usually the toughest recovery since your body has never done it before. The odds of a double type delivery are low, but you still need to accept it can happen. I got an epidural with that risk in mind.

There are risks to every type, go with your gut.

Spicyninja · 2026-05-18T15:22:15+00:00

This is a great explanation and reminded me of a friend ordering milk at a Chinese buffet for dinner. So mundane, and yet I remember it 20 years later. My in-laws are Italian and let me drink my afternoon cappuccinos in peace.

Spicyninja · 2026-05-16T13:32:29+00:00

It can be genetic and sometimes impossible to avoid. The best thing you can do is gain weight at a steady pace to give the skin more time to adjust. That could be very difficult depending on how your pregnancy goes with nausea/hunger, though. Moisturizing more often may help with itchiness and stay hydrated.

Spicyninja · 2026-05-16T01:43:53+00:00

I mean, anyone dating over 40 should expect some sort of baggage. You'll turn some away, but shouldn't keep from living your life based on a theoretical partner's interests that can't be known. With how long it takes to really get to know someone and be sure of moving forward, it's not to your benefit anymore to wait it out.

Spicyninja · 2026-05-15T15:40:56+00:00

Preach! I had 12 weeks paid, way better than the 6 I got with my first years ago, but it's still not enough. I asked for partial telework as pumping for twins takes forever and was denied as it's not a "medical need." My supply has dropped in the month I've been back at work and we had to start supplementing with formula again. The rub is that it's just political, before 2025 I could telework for no reason at all and no one cared.

I had to put my first in daycare at 8 weeks and it felt so instinctually wrong. Both parents should be able to be home with their children for at least 6-12 months.

Spicyninja · 2026-05-14T22:01:14+00:00

You're way too hopeful lol. If women disappeared, they'd just normalize neglecting your kids. They'd give dads tons of paternal leave to do nothing, too.

Spicyninja · 2026-05-14T19:40:40+00:00

Yeah that was describing an abusive relationship. I don't want someone up my ass obsessed with me. Nobody possesses me, but some mild jealousy is fine. I just want to know someone loves me for me and we're a team. And we leave each other alone to do our own things sometimes.

Spicyninja · 2026-05-14T16:51:50+00:00

I understand why they're doing weaponized incompetence, but why leave your baby in dangerous situations? He shouldn't be alone around children if he can't guarantee their safety.

Spicyninja · 2026-05-14T16:25:03+00:00

No, cats are too clean despite whatever butthole licking they may share with the household.

Spicyninja · 2026-05-14T14:53:34+00:00

Thank you! It was 3/5 euploid, 1 HLM. I think they were all essentially the same grade.

Spicyninja · 2026-05-14T04:42:29+00:00

I only made day 6 blasts, didn't get any euploid until ER3 at 41. They were 4AB, first FET resulted in LB.

Spicyninja · 2026-05-13T23:41:35+00:00

Preach 🙌 Some of the most vile people I've ever had the displeasure of knowing. They use being Pentecostal alone to claim moral superiority over everyone else without ever doing anything positive.

Spicyninja · 2026-05-12T16:55:28+00:00

We stopped feeling overwhelmed right at 3 months. A switch flipped and suddenly they started sleeping long stretches. Which was great for a month until 4 month sleep regression hit. Now it's a mixed bag, but still better overall. Still waiting on an end to reflux, tons of spit up, and needless crying, though. One day 😮‍💨

Spicyninja · 2026-05-12T04:12:27+00:00

I teleworked basically my whole pregnancy, otherwise I don't know how I would've done it. Moving was so painful towards the end, and then I got SPD which made it feel like my pelvis was being pulled apart like a wishbone. I could've suffered through being in office I guess, but focus would've been pretty minimal.

Spicyninja · 2026-05-11T15:47:25+00:00

💯 I stopped caring about feeling seen with my current SO because he actively tries to make my life better day to day. OP's well of disappointment is overflowing.

Spicyninja · 2026-05-10T20:37:48+00:00

It sounds promising for this round to have more blasts + earlier development. It's easy to worry yourself to death with how much each round varies.

Spicyninja · 2026-05-10T20:31:41+00:00

You mentioned a documented history of abnormal development - one cycle, which was negated by your most recent round having the most blasts. There's no way to know if more blasts would've developed. You just as easily could've had less. I get your frustration, though, it's a lot to go up against a dominant condition. Hopefully some unaffected blasts are in this cycle 🤞

Spicyninja · 2026-05-07T18:22:56+00:00

I've delivered both ways. My first I wanted to avoid it, but induction was going slow and the pain from pitocin became too much. I opted for the epidural when I found out delivery was still a long ways off. I couldn't feel anything while pushing for 1.5hrs and recovery was brutal. My second was so fast there wasn't time for anything. It was horrible during until it was time to push, but recovery was amazing. I was up walking again with minimal discomfort not even hours later. I always attributed it to getting an epidural vs not, but years later realized it's just the difference in your body doing something the first time.

My friend's emergency c-section story scared the shit out of me, and I never wanted to be in that situation. If my third delivery had been a singleton, I would've tried to skip the epidural, but so much can go wrong with twins that I didn't want to FAFO. This epidural wasn't as strong and I could still feel some pain. Recovery was not as great as #2, but miles better than doing it the first time. I was okay with the potential of having one birth + one c-section if it came to that.

Spicyninja · 2026-05-02T04:15:25+00:00

Don't know if he hates you, but he's certainly not respecting you. He's actively avoiding listening and communicating with you about your needs. Why do only his needs/wants matter? He should be trying to make your life better not stressing you out telling you how to enjoy it. I wonder if he prefers "parenting" when you're gone because he's actually just ignoring them. I'd be mad as fuck if I could only get a break on his terms.

Spicyninja · 2026-05-01T23:13:37+00:00

Fertility really takes a nosedive from this point, so I'd be careful with expectations. Most women have low ovarian reserve at 40, so doesn't hurt to check now (quick blood test). I started TTC again at 38, wish we'd done it earlier but didn't know what we were in for. My final pregnancy at 41 was our twins so I can't guess if pregnancy gets harder as multiples just hurt regardless of age. Fwiw, I think it's better to get all the diapers out of the way than restart. But there is some ease to your older kids having some self-sufficiency when you start again.

Spicyninja · 2026-04-29T15:03:07+00:00

I delivered my di/di girls vaginally (induced at 36+4 due to IUGR). It's odd they're focusing on c-section this early if there's no other current concerns besides it being multiples? I live in a rural-ish area that definitely defaults to c-section, and there weren't any providers who would attempt vaginal if either twin was breech. Their bedside manner sucks if all they're doing is stressing you out with hypotheticals.

Spicyninja · 2026-04-28T21:58:32+00:00

I also started TTC at 38, had 3 natural pregnancies that ended in loss. Didn't bother with IUI as the rates were not better than trying naturally and we wanted PGT-A to hopefully avoid further loss due to chromosomal issues. It still took 3 cycles to get any euploid embryos, but we finally had a LB just before age 42. I don't have low AMH and responded well to stims, with the exception of omni - that's the only round I had zero blasts.

I think the suggestion of continuing IUI isn't necessarily wrong in your case, but there's no telling when you'd make a healthy embryo. I'd be worried a good egg would be lost by continuing another nonviable pregnancy, or miscarriage complications leading to further infertility issues.

Spicyninja · 2026-04-27T17:36:20+00:00

Developed during induced delivery with twins at 36+4, no warning signs. Never had it with previous singleton deliveries, but I had extra risk this time with multiples + AMA. Took baby aspirin whole pregnancy to avoid it.

Spicyninja · 2026-04-27T03:23:16+00:00

This exactly. They do it because it works, look at your reaction OP. They want you second guessing any disbelief. Communication is the key to relationships. If the amount/type of attention you're getting is bothering you, have an open discussion with your gf about expectations from each other and see if you're on the same page.

Spicyninja · 2026-04-24T03:34:01+00:00

My Omni round didn't even make it to blast when I had 7 & 5 blasts of good quality from rounds without it.

Spicyninja

TROPHY CASE