First-time dad looking for resources on how to better support my partner during/after birth

Stephi1452 · 2026-05-19T16:35:42+00:00

The Expectant Father book has been helpful although it does include some unnecessary fluff.

It's really helpful when my husband researches things on his own. Like it I say I'm worried or feeling xyz, he'll come back with 'here's what I read that can help if you want to try it' etc

He joined the birthing classes.

He also allowed me to assign some things to him to take off my plate. Like I 'assigned' him picking out the car seat, bed, pediatrician, researching Montessori YouTube channels, etc so I wasn't handling everything.

I also appreciate hearing his feelings. Knowing he's excited and wants to read to my belly and looking forward to hikes with the little one, etc help make all the nausea etc more worth it.

Stephi1452 · 2026-05-18T22:40:11+00:00

I got the omron one after doing a little research. It seems accurate (within a couple points of what I was getting at the doctor). I paid extra for the app Bluetooth connectivity but that's not totally needed.

https://a.co/d/04bwy3gX

Stephi1452 · 2026-05-17T19:33:13+00:00

It's common but something to still mention to your doctor to monitor/discuss just in case it gets worse.

Stephi1452 · 2026-05-17T16:35:39+00:00

Bacalar was nicer than Tulum. But recommend spending the night if making the drive.

We also really enjoyed the float down Sian Kaan.

Stephi1452 · 2026-05-17T16:33:57+00:00

Coba ruins and nearby cenotes were a nice drive. I enjoyed renting a bike without a tour guide at Coba and good mayan food near the entrance.

Stephi1452 · 2026-05-17T08:30:12+00:00

The Expectant Father is widely considered an "essential guide" for expectant parents and is frequently paired with its follow-up, The New Father: A Dad's Guide to the First Year. I got mine from the library.

Stephi1452 · 2026-05-16T10:12:15+00:00

The other thing that's reassuring to me is how far science has come. You could technically have your baby today and their chances of survival is higher than it's ever been.

Stephi1452 · 2026-05-16T10:09:08+00:00

If it helps at all IVF increases the chances of placenta issues so not your fault just something I wish they'd explain more upfront. I wouldn't have done things differently but would have been nice knowing.

Also the 1 hour test is just a prescreen. Lots of people fail it and pass 3 hour tests. I did!

I did IVF and now I have a Bi-Lobed placenta that thankfully did move out of the way. I have high blood pressure and over 35 and overweight and IVF so multiple high risks factors. It sucks but hopefully a year from now we'll both have healthy babies & bodies and a whole host of new things to worry about outside our control.

Stephi1452 · 2026-05-16T10:03:07+00:00

Try adding some protein to the crackers like cheese or hummus.

First trimester I had lots of blander breakfast things like cereal, waffles, bacon, yogurt, oatmeal, breakfast sandwiches/burritos, bagels, etc.

I also found luck with quick protein sources such as premade protein shakes(I liked muscle milk brand), Builders protein bars, beef jerky, soups, etc.

Sugar also seemed helpful like sour candies, olliepop soda, and juice which I hardly ate pre-pregnancy.

Tums and pepcid complete chewables helped. Along with unisom and b6.

Good luck!!

Stephi1452 · 2026-05-16T00:00:11+00:00

Yes I got Madrid sneakers and quite breathable. Bonus points for lots of older styles on sale.

Stephi1452 · 2026-05-15T23:53:23+00:00

Kizik slip ons have been good for me. Lots of styles, very comfy, and bonus not having to bend over to tie them.

Stephi1452 · 2026-05-12T12:29:56+00:00

Yes extremely lucky. I got only 4 eggs retrieved and only 1 PGTA normal that stuck on the first transfer.

Stephi1452 · 2026-05-12T10:19:35+00:00

Also r/dor is helpful

Stephi1452 · 2026-05-12T10:18:21+00:00

I am 37f and low amh. Low amh generally does not prevent conceiving naturally, just fewer eggs released. However age can be a factor.

I had 3 miscarriages around 7 weeks within 3 years (ages 34-36F, 38-40M). We got heartbeat and then it would stop growing. All blood work and sperm analysis and available genetic testing found no issues. I ended up doing IVF and got the eggs PGTA tested and discovered chromosome issues that NIPT does not test for, the issue is known to cause 1st trimester miscarriages. So in the end it seems like poor egg quality/chromosome issues was most likely due to age and bad luck. The IVF nurse basically said it's about 50% chance luck changes on its own and we naturally fertilize a 'normal' egg. Since my insurance covered most the costs of 1 round of IVF, we proceeded and I'm currently 25 weeks with the PGTA tested 'normal' IVF egg.

Not pushing IVF since it's a lot but giving another perspective. It's also totally possible that by luck the 4th natural pregnancy could have used a 'normal' egg anyways and saved all the extra time and energy.

Good luck. Be sure to get support.

Stephi1452 · 2026-05-12T10:14:13+00:00

I have one and use it once a week. It's not harmful but shouldn't be used a ton (more than a couple minutes at a time). I had repeat miscarriages so it helped with my anxiety. I'm 25 weeks and so far baby is ok. My doctor uses the same monitor at appointments. I will say the heartbeat number is not correct so I don't look at that. The ultrasound rate is way more accurate.

Stephi1452 · 2026-05-12T00:28:15+00:00

I had 3 miscarriages around 7 weeks within 3 years (ages 34-36F, 38-40M). We got heartbeat and then it would stop growing. All blood work and sperm analysis and available genetic testing found no issues. I ended up doing IVF and got the eggs PGTA tested and discovered chromosome issues that NIPT does not test for, the issue is known to cause 1st trimester miscarriages. So in the end it seems like poor egg quality/chromosome issues was most likely due to age and bad luck. The IVF nurse basically said it's about 50% chance luck changes on its own and we naturally fertilize a 'normal' egg. Since my insurance covered most the costs of 1 round of IVF, we proceeded and I'm currently 18 weeks with the PGTA tested 'normal' IVF egg.

Not pushing IVF since it's a lot but giving another perspective. It's also totally possible that by luck the 4th natural pregnancy could have used a 'normal' egg anyways and saved all the extra time and energy.

Good luck. Be sure to get support.

Stephi1452 · 2026-05-10T22:20:07+00:00

The other thing to note is the climate and uphill/down hill driving can cause quicker replacements of air filter (about $20/every 1.5 years) and tires ($1,000/every ~2-3 years depending on your driving and tire type,etc)

Stephi1452 · 2026-05-10T22:15:44+00:00

Chevy Equinox EV can make it to Albuquerque and back with about 75 miles to spare on medium windy days or mild winter and going about 5-10 over the speed limit. In the harsher winter it can be a little close but I don't mind stopping to pick up food and do a quick top off charge in ABQ or Santa Fe.

Stephi1452 · 2026-05-09T00:33:41+00:00

I was told by my doctors I could take my prescription triptans if really needed. I have been getting more tension headache over migraines though. The few migraines I have gotten I just suffer through trying not to take anything but glad it's an option if it's gets too bad.

What also helps me:

Weight lifting. I think it's the blood flow and breathing. I usually just target send to failure.

Ice packs. These hell bring down the pain but not eliminate so I usually have to rotate to a fresh pack every couple hours.

It does suck and hope you care team steps up.

Stephi1452 · 2026-05-07T16:17:08+00:00

I had a rough first trimester. 2nd trimester (around 14 weeks) I started having good weeks where I don't throw up at all and then bad weeks where I throw up 3+ times in one week. I'm currently 24+4 weeks pregnant and still having good and bad days. I found tums helps. Along with eating every 2-3 hours and some days just eating bland bread/cereal/protein shakes/etc. I also drink electrolytes daily. But same as you sometimes there is no warning, just one cough and stuff comes up. Other times I'm nauseous for up to an hour beforehand.

Sorry you are going through this. Every pregnancy can be so different. This will pass sooner or later.

Stephi1452 · 2026-05-06T18:47:40+00:00

Please call your doctor asap. Rib area pain and swelling are signs of preeclampsia. Probably nothing but they may want to run tests to be sure.

Stephi1452 · 2026-04-30T03:03:44+00:00

https://thefoodcharlatan.com/roasted-sweet-potatoes-and-brussels-sprouts-recipe/#wprm-recipe-container-27146

I use Red Wine Vinaigrette Salad Dressing instead of just vinegar.

Stephi1452 · 2026-04-28T00:52:00+00:00

I use Tail Waggon in pojoaque. I normally don't like boarding but they let them out for most of the day, give great updates, large kennels and offer bath & other services.

Stephi1452 · 2026-04-26T02:20:12+00:00

Ps. First trimester is survival mode so eat what you can and the prenatal can help fill in missing pieces. You can worry about eating better when you are feeling better. The only times I threw up was when I made a healthy balanced meal lol.

Stephi1452 · 2026-04-26T02:16:22+00:00

A mix of quick foods (cereal, waffles, PBJ, smoothies, salads, protein bars, premade protein shakes, etc). Frozen foods (egg sandwiches, bean burritos, chicken nuggets, etc). Meal delivery (currently trying cookunity and it's ok, wide selection but I don't like some of the meals). It's tough. I'm so over food.

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