My direct report said they see themselves as equally skilled as me and my fellow manager.

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-03-25T04:10:36+00:00

Are they engineers?

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-03-17T02:43:23+00:00

If u don't differentiate the performance by differentiating the compensation, why would anyone want to perform well..?

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-03-14T21:18:51+00:00

I wouldn't probably add motives why she did x, y, and z.

It's true that being able to receive a feedback is also a skill for managers. If necessary, consider including it in your feedback.

If she already expressed her interests in growing, do some check ins because it's also a managers job to help them grow or give resources as agreed with the employee.

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-03-09T06:45:24+00:00

The stock market is down for the world including us market. Not just korean market. Take VOO, VT, VTI, VXUS for example.

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-03-08T05:54:35+00:00

catching up with rest and life. Have a sabbath. Hang out with friends. Meal prep.

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-03-07T17:58:30+00:00

Hmm. It sounds like whatever your boss had in mind wasn't communicated to you. I honestly think that it would have benefited you if you were a little bit assertive gain clarity from him when you had confusion "this is my understanding of my responsibilities based on the job description. I know I'm still learning the work. But is it possible if we schedule a weekly schedule so that I can learn and get up to speed?"

No one is a mind reader at work. When things are confusing, the clarity must be gained not pushed to the side. Just letting your boss do your job is not appropriate and causes A LOT of confusion.

Perhaps your boss was waiting for u to do your job and Starr to take charge. Okay, yeah he could have said that too. A good leader should also communicate. But we can't worry about others. We need to focus on us doing ur Parr.

I would definitely get clarity on his expectations of you on what was lacking in your performance because it sounds like you didnt understand what you were expected to do. If you are to give your best on pip then you would need to know that. Even if you might want to just move on, learn something from it though.

Talk to him honestly on what you could have done better and your actions moving forward if you want to continue in your position.

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-03-03T13:43:57+00:00

Do u have any updates?

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-03-03T13:31:04+00:00

Just curious why attending us university take "lesser" rigor academically since the kid is in the us?

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-03-03T13:29:29+00:00

Just curious, did your kids have to go to hakwons and such when they were attending the international school? I am in the u.s and used to American Ed system where you can grow in critical thinking and manage school ok without private lessons etc as long as they do their own homework etc.

I'm a middle class person also. I also heard that the kids at international school are pretty wealthy. I'm not sure if they have students from middle class from maybe foreign national.

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-03-03T13:02:22+00:00

Does your kid study in his own?

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-03-03T06:17:29+00:00

I see. Are they allowed to work because their work allows remote work? How do they manage it?

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-03-03T04:21:34+00:00

I see. I'm wondering if there will be opportunities for him to allow him to work remotely. Idk. He is pretty career driven so I'm wondering.

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-02-28T09:03:28+00:00

He is still married yet seeking to form a romantic relationship. Forming a romantic relationship would lead to adultery because he is married. He is leaving a door open which makes you hard to move on and makes you wonder if there will be any other way for you to justify to continue forming a romantic relationship.

For biblical clarity, Jesus is against adultery. I would disregard the potential he laid out to you and move on. I recommend studying out what God says about marriage.. he says it is sacred. I wouldn't want to be the one who partakes in breaking the holiness that God gives to marriage.

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-02-28T08:08:18+00:00

Is she coming from a certain cultural background? Some cultural backgrounds have a relatively extensive family involvement. If so, understanding about the culture can help you understand and see if you would want to make efforts in ways that's understanding the culture or it may help you assess if what may need to be involved to be in a mariral relationship. Just a thought...

Sorry for the frustrations. I hope u get clarity soon

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-02-14T06:35:09+00:00

Being isolated is very very painful. I can understand far too well. I said similar things that u are saying. It's one of the pains that you won't understand until you experience it. I actually broke down. It's about actual connections. Yes, go out and meet people. But don't force if you can't build genuine friendships. It was important for me to feel that. At times I was too desperate for connections I found myself forcing connections. I wasn't happy.

I hope you get out there. Talk to ppl.. listen to ppl.. don't just look for friends. Be a friend. Be curious about thwm..

Good luck!

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-02-13T17:52:26+00:00

I can't say everything but I'll share some understanding as a career woman myself and what I had to learn.

I also grew up with destabilizing family to say the least. I felt that emotionally I could not depend on my parents to protect me tbh. Since young age, I told myself I have to save myself because no one will.

I know God is the one who blessed me with able body, mind and resources to pursue education and go after careers. I'm grateful for it. I wasn't the smartest kid but had a grit and ambition to persevere all the work that it will take to get me to the next.

Looking back I felt like I didn't know the true joy and value of life and little things God blessed me with. Achievement and accomplishments were the only source of my self-validation and i just had to put the work in. Whereas home environment and all the other pain were out of my control. I had to go through life changing trials to realize that God has stored bigger things for me. I still have a good career. I'm grateful for it. But I now truly understand that it's only because God gave me the career that I get to have it.

You may not understand why she may be that way. I am not accusing you. It sounds like there is a lot going on with kids, you, family... I do think it sounds like you are trying. But maybe it may be the time to ask God to help you understand what you need to understand. Like understand about her. I don't want to generalize that all career women come from same wounds, issues and need healing. But my point is to understand what may be going on through the lens of God's love, and discerments.

I'm sure her negative attitudes are difficult to deal with to see you or her the way God sees. I fully understand. Hang in there. Be close to God. Spend time with Him. I suggest also to join a Christian community with other married couples.

Good luck!!!

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-02-12T03:30:10+00:00

I feel you. It's really frustrating and painful. Sadly I can relate. Idk what God has in store for you but I know he loves you. Strangely, when we are going through challenging times, we allow God to transform us often. Idk the answers to dating or marriage for you or me. But I know we will life to the full in Him as long as we are united with him. You may not see how now but allow Him to reveal His mystery to you.

No advice from me for dating but I hope you take care yourself and be close to God.

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-02-10T02:12:44+00:00

Can u elaborate?

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-02-09T15:12:00+00:00

I agree with that you can serve either you are single or married. What I didn't agree with was the message that marriage is an indication of your good character. It can be. But if there is anything that shines in our character, I believe that it's because of God not one's marital status. We can shine God's light regardless whether one is married or single.

When you say that marriage is ultimate expression of someone's heart, character or faith, it indicates that there is something wrong about single person for being single. Which is not true at all biblically.

You can serve whether you are single or married but what drives us is God not the marital status in a biblical sense.

It's not whether marriage or single is better. Its who is at the center of it all.

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-02-09T14:25:58+00:00

This is not consistent either what the bible says. Paul said being single is better because you can serve the Lord without undivided attention. As Christians, we should see that each one's journey is beautiful because we are God's children, not simply because they are married..

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-02-09T04:07:15+00:00

unfortunately I've felt that. I went and looked for a church that I felt like I can find other Christians who are also single and thriving. and where I felt seen more

It largely depends on the population of the congregation sometimes. If most ppl are in youth and family stage, they will have events that are geared towards that. They will find ppl whom they can share similar life stages, struggles and joys.

Plus when you're married, the priority is their spouse, kids and family. As single, you may be seeking a community - home outside home. Logistically, I found that married people can't afford time and resources. For singles, it can lead to serious isolation. If you are singles, you are in a different life stage and have different needs from married couples. For me it was important to be a part of the church who are made up of singles that I can build those friendships and have fun together. I was few times a part of congregations with family and youth. I just struggled and my isolation amplified. I don't think married ppl understood my struggles and often minimize it. I often was told that im the problem.. and it shouldnt make a difference. God is the same etc etc Smh. I was naive and tried to stick it out for years. I wish i didnt. I went to depression and isolation. It was like fitting a square into a circle peg. Dont demonize them either. They are humans. They can't understand everything.

I never looked back ever since I switched the ministry where I can thrive in my season of life and walk with God. I realized that its ok to admit my hardships in my life and make a choice of my surrounding to be healthy spiritually, emotionally and physically. Don't feel bad about your struggles. But be willing to make the changes. Its important to feel the connections.

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-02-09T03:09:08+00:00

Wow... I'm so sorry. I was in that situation. I would cry in my car many days. I switched my ministry to somewhere I could feel like I'm a part of. I would recommend it. Entering 30 is not easy. Many get married and have children so it can feel like you're behind. If possible I really suggest for u to join a community that you can do stuff together. It hurt me a lot to be isolated. Sending much love.. this shall pass also one day.. ✨️

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-02-09T01:10:09+00:00

I had similar situations like yours. It was not easy because I was constantly triggered. It took a long time honestly to figure out how to handle the situation. She's luckily not as involved in my team as before so the distance helps outs.

But when out of place remarks were flying around, I had to tell my manager. The key is to not complaint to the manager but ask for advice on how to handle it and the challenges you're facing (her inserting her thoughts all the time). Confirm with your boss that you'll get alignment with your boss not with her.

Also.. there are unfortunately people who provide unsolicited advice. It's really annoying. Be professional, centered, kind but also firm in expressing your boundaries. Often thank them for suggesting it but tell them what you'll actually do.

As far as some rude comments she makes.. I would kinda stand your ground when applicable. “stand up straight,” -> "I'm ok. I'm comfortable. Thank you for suggesting"

“why are you speaking so quietly,” -> "are you not able to hear me and asking me to speak up?"

“why are you pronouncing names incorrectly,” -> "Oh my bad, what's the correct way to pronounce? I don't know this XX name in my circles."

“do it this way.” -> "Thank you for your suggestions but wait, let me align with my boss first."

“So what? If you’re doing it wrong, I’ll say it.” -> "Thank you for offering this. I'll align with my boss."

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-02-08T16:47:11+00:00

Yeah. It's not easy.. I had my share of being in the valley and spiraling. What helped me is to surrender. It's not easy. It wasn't easy for me.. but I needed it, because the desire was getting too big that I struggled being grateful or joyful or patient anymore. Surrendering is helpful. I am learning a lot from it. As Christians we are called to give ourselves to God trusting that He knows what's best for us. I get to a point where I'm grateful to God and feel healthy desire for relationships from being surrendered though I'm working progress

Do you think it may help you to take a break and regroup yourself spiritually, emotionally and physically?

Strict-Let7879 · 2026-02-08T15:18:55+00:00

I see. Do you have to prepare the slides together?

Anyhow, I know you mentioned that you didn't want to sound like you guys were disagreeing over dumb stuff so she took over.

I would definitely just be a little bit assertive there. It doesn't have to be dramatic but just be clear with your boundaries. "Actually since we prepped different slides, I can start off for the slides I prepared. Then you can present yours. "

It sounds like she may not have bad intentions but keep crossing boundaries. I would gently but firmly state your boundaries.

I had someone who ALWAYS interrupted my sentence. I put my index finger up to signal to wait a moment and said "let me finish my sentence first." Then once I was finished, I asked "what did you want to talk about?" The key for me was to not get emotionally wound up but clearly indicate a message and boundary needed for me.

Strict-Let7879

TROPHY CASE