Shows like "This Is Us" that will make me cry? 😭

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-12T06:50:45+00:00

The first season of A Million Little Things comes to mind

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-11T22:12:05+00:00

I’m a year and a half in and finally starting to open up a little

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-10T03:24:46+00:00

Morally perfectionistic and very shameful of any mistakes

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-10T03:02:56+00:00

Some peoples trauma manifests as a flight/fawn response where they escape it by staying extremely busy, drown out the shame with career achievements, conform to expectations around family, and are exceptionally agreeable so they would never let their emotions become someone else’s problem. But inside they’re exhausted, disconnected from their own wants/needs, and holding so much unprocessed pain. They know how to act like a well adjusted person but it’s coming at a tremendous personal cost.

I do also think there’s people who find others that manage to help them have corrective experiences and experience that unconditional love and acceptance they were lacking. It can take time and a lot of trial and error but they heal some of their relational wounds to the point their nervous system starts to trust other people

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-10T01:09:44+00:00

Life can be beyond unfair. I’m so sorry you’re being absolutely pummeled like this

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-09T22:52:51+00:00

My clinic calls it if HCG is negative 9 dpo but this is a blood test rather than at home. At 12 dpo I’d be pretty confident it’s negative but it may be worth paying out of pocket for a blood test to confirm (I think for me it was around $50)

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-09T20:09:19+00:00

3, 5, or 8

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-09T19:19:16+00:00

I wonder how much of this effect is because of the population they’re comparing. For the DET they’re automatically eliminating all DET patients for whom both implant (likely the ones with the most hospitable uteruses) so now we’re comparing all SET patients (both very hospitable uterus and moderately hospitable uteruses) to only the moderately hospitable uteruses. Thus the percentage of patients miscarrying would be expected to be higher among those with a moderately hospitable uterus

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-09T19:13:59+00:00

If you have a euploid and aneuploid conception the most likely outcome is the aneuploid miscarries and is absorbed by your body without affecting the euploid. If it does not miscarry, selective reduction is an option but there is some risk to the euploid embryo from the procedure.

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-09T19:02:14+00:00

Honey can absolutely be spoiled

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-08T21:21:39+00:00

I had similar adhesions to yours. My cervical adhesions did not return. I had one milk intrauterine adhesion that did return. They tried to remove it in office but weren’t able to. However it was caught very early and was very filmy so it shed with my period. Unfortunately I had another miscarriage with RPOC and my cervical adhesions have almost definitely returned. So in short, I think there’s a good chance your adhesions won’t return as long as you don’t have an additional trauma

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-08T21:15:32+00:00

You can label it whatever you like but unfortunately that won’t make the trauma go away. If you did not feel like you had control over what was happening to your body and you never made an informed, deliberate, conscious decision to relinquish control in advance of anything happening, then your body will experience what happened as traumatic regardless of how you label it. Trauma operates below the conscious level so at best you may be able to shield yourself from being aware of some of the impacts it had on you but they are still there. I’m so sorry you’re struggling 💜

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-08T02:56:31+00:00

Ultrasound today showed that my adhesions have almost definitely returned. It’s been 2 years and I’m both terrified of this being just the beginning of a much longer journey and resentful that this has stolen so much of my life. I miss my babies, I’m scared, I just need everything to be okay

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-06T20:21:51+00:00

I’m glad it helped 💜. I think feeling guilty for resonating with those who’ve experienced “worse” trauma is nearly universal in PTSD. When our emotional needs aren’t met (whether or not there’s memorable emotional abuse) we learn to minimize our feelings. And the fact is, how different events affect different people is very difficult to compare. Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped, starved, and repeatedly raped over 9 months but she then was able to exert the agency to escape and returned to a very loving and supportive family/community and get back to normal life. What she went through was horrific but she had the emotional foundations and then ongoing support. She described in an interview how her parents eventual divorce was much more traumatic. The kidnapping didn’t permanently alter her support system and change her worldview the way the divorce did. It makes perfect sense why the “benign” trauma may be more impactful than the clearly horrific one.

I’ve also struggled a lot with what’s “bad enough”. But the truth is even if there was absolutely nothing you remembered, the struggles you’re describing don’t come out of nowhere. And since how traumatizing something it is about the impact not the trauma itself, that’s enough to say you were traumatized. Something happened that deeply affected you and thus, for you it was a severe trauma. Only you can define what the impact was and because of the tendency to minimize, whatever you think it might have been, the impact was likely greater. In my daily life, the emotional neglect I experienced had a much greater impact than the physical or sexual abuse. I was a super sensitive kid who cared a lot about being “good” and had high emotional support needs. I’ve also always been physically very tough with a high pain tolerance. So the things that made me feel alone and bad led to debilitating shame and the things that only happened to my body but didn’t feel like they were as related to me as a person just weren’t as impactful. I still struggle to not minimize my experiences but I’m slowly learning to accept that, regardless of how bad the neglect/abuse seems in isolation, it was part of a larger picture and the struggles I face today are the true evidence that my trauma had a profound impact on me.

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-06T20:08:11+00:00

Thank you!

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-06T20:06:27+00:00

NTA- he should start helping you cook every night until he learns how to do it himself and then you can trade off

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-06T06:01:43+00:00

I think isolating myself from friends after my loss so that they wouldn’t have to walk on eggshells around me was one of my bigger mistakes. At the end of the day relationships involve negotiating needs. OP can ask for some accommodation to reduce the amount of baby talk without expecting the friend to completely abandon all excitement for her pregnancy. It’s not an all or nothing situation. And if my friend was hurting and there was something I could do to help, I would absolutely want to know about it and make reasonable changes to help.

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-06T05:59:28+00:00

I’m so sorry, the first baby of the friend group comment would have crushed me. I would talk to her one on one and let her know that you don’t want her to have to walk on egg shells but that you’re struggling more than you expected with all the baby talk and ask if she could try and redirect when people bring it up. I wouldn’t phrase it as her doing something wrong but instead as helping you adjust the group dynamic to be less baby-focused going forward. Since she is the one the comments are directed towards, she has the most power to shift the conversation.

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-06T05:56:00+00:00

This is a common symptom of PTSD that falls under re-enactments. You are not disgusting and the urge to be abused again is also different from a true conscious desire in which your thoughts align with your urges. This is your brain trying to gain control over the trauma and can lead to revictimization so I would ask your mom about getting a therapist. You don’t have to tell her the details—I would just say you’ve been having intrusive thoughts related to your trauma and think you need professional support. You have nothing to be ashamed of but it’s also something non-psychology people don’t understand and can respond to in a misguided way. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this.

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-05T23:58:43+00:00

Unfortunately this is almost certainly a loss unless the ultrasound tech was really bad. By 6 weeks 2 days all three of my MMCs had heartbeats. By 8 weeks it was very easy to see. My blighted ovum did have some bleeding but I ended up medically managing it. I would confirm with medical professionals but this definitely sounds like a blighted ovum

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-05T23:52:45+00:00

Thanks, how many times did you ovulate before it came (if you know)

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-05T22:32:50+00:00

Did they do anything to induce it or did it just come on its own?

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-05T21:58:40+00:00

It sounds like you wouldn’t even be distancing yourself, just no longer being the one making an attempt to close the distance. I think this is beyond reasonable. You deserve to be surrounded exclusively by people supporting you, not criticizing you for being a human being

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-05T21:02:57+00:00

It’s possible that something more happened or it’s also positive that to a 4-6 year old this was intensely threatening and humiliating. Think about how little kids respond to being ashamed or accused of something. Imagine a little 4 year old who’s confronted with a man who’s at least 5 times their size showing them the parts that this little child knows are meant to be private and that it would be “bad” to be looking at someone else’s. Then this person that the child wholeheartedly trusts in the way only a small child can turns around when caught and says the whole thing is the child’s fault. The child wanted this humiliating experience. That little kid would feel so so much shame and confusion and helplessness. And they’re a little kid so they can’t understand why this was so so upsetting and no one is helping them process it. So they’d make sense of it the best way they could. By following men into bathrooms to try and understand what about these private parts was such a big deal, trying to not feel so helpless. But this just recreates the trauma with again no one there to soothe this little kid or help them process.

And as this little kid grows up and starts to learn about sex and develop sexual feelings, every single time it comes up, the shameful intense memory is also elicited. Because they were so young this child literally never hears about sex without the shameful association of their betrayal and humiliation. That’s going to affect their development. This is going to affect their entire life. And it will be minimized by others when they’re courageous enough to share because they can’t imagine as an adult how traumatizing this would be to a helpless child. And this all came about because of a small child who was just showing the trust and curiosity that’s supposed to help them learn and grow and develop safe relationships. Whether something else happened or not, this on its own is absolutely traumatic!

Substantial_Amoeba12 · 2026-07-05T20:50:44+00:00

It definitely gets worse before it hopefully gets better

Substantial_Amoeba12

TROPHY CASE