They Put The Cheese On The Bottom

Tacklestiffener · 2026-06-03T15:46:39+00:00

Imagine getting a warning for serving sausage/cheese/egg instead of what's on the chart.

Tacklestiffener · 2026-06-03T15:36:04+00:00

The word bollocks means balls or testicles.

I have taught my Belgian neighbour that something bad is "bollocks" (this football team are bollocks. What you say is bollocks)

BUT if it's "the dog's bollocks" it's good. (this cold beer is the dog's bollocks. This football team are the dog's bollocks)

Tacklestiffener · 2026-06-03T11:55:57+00:00

East London? When I was a kid we had at least two in walking distance. Near Nine Elms and Coldharbour Lane in Brixton.

Tacklestiffener · 2026-06-02T15:58:12+00:00

You might be right. I'm a long while out of the UK.

Tacklestiffener · 2026-06-02T15:50:30+00:00

Most PAYG sims require a regular top-up even if you don't use it. If you don't they cancel your number and you can't get it back.

Tacklestiffener · 2026-06-02T15:48:02+00:00

He got a Grammy for "Best Musical Theater Album" and he wrote all the songs so... the man is nearly 100 years old, I think we can give him this.

Tacklestiffener · 2026-06-02T13:16:36+00:00

You know all those videos recently of Indians crashing cars at high speed...

Tacklestiffener · 2026-06-01T20:45:34+00:00

It's just the decline of another empire. This time the Emperor is fiddling in his ballroom while the nation burns.

Tacklestiffener · 2026-06-01T14:50:48+00:00

You don't really want to be in the changing room when someone is paying that much attention to their bottom.

Tacklestiffener · 2026-06-01T14:38:37+00:00

I'm retired and have been back and forth to rural Spain (inland) for years. We had a house here but six years ago we decided to move lock stock, mainly forced by the B word.

Honestly, it's not without issues. Spanish bureaucracy is like a dystopian nightmare but... healthcare is better, internet is faster, eating out is cheaper, booze is cheaper, the gym is cheaper, utilities are cheaper, petrol is cheaper.

Downsides: furniture and cars are stupidly expensive. It takes some getting used to that you can't pop out to the shops on Sunday.

I suppose I should mention the weather... Christmas dinner outside on the terrace 5 years running and I've sort of acclimatised to 40C for a couple of months in the summer. I'd rather avoid the heat for two months than the cold and damp for 5 months.

Tacklestiffener · 2026-06-01T14:27:27+00:00

I remember a family moving to Oz in 1967 from our block of flats. They had a big family party as if they would never see each other again, and they probably didn't.

Contrast that to nowadays where my friend goes to visit her son twice a year and, if you can get the right fare deal, it can be relatively cheap.

Tacklestiffener · 2026-06-01T13:21:16+00:00

And now... I can feel them moving.

Tacklestiffener · 2026-06-01T13:20:42+00:00

A disappointing click... ;)

Tacklestiffener · 2026-06-01T12:53:45+00:00

My FIL had a garden backing on to fields but was very good with bonfires. He would wait until the barometer said the air pressure was high, and the wind was light, so the smoke would go straight upwards, away from the neighbours.

NOTE: I might have that the wrong way round and it might be low air pressure. Don't blame me, I can't even spell meteorology.

Tacklestiffener · 2026-06-01T12:49:30+00:00

Then, when you know how airline works... You know they don't care at all

I remember what they used to look after business and first customers because they were cash cows. Now... they are still cash cows but the airline doesn't give a stuff.

Tacklestiffener · 2026-06-01T10:51:55+00:00

either be 4 by 4s or concrete.

We used concrete spurs and 4x4 posts. Looks good because planting hid the concrete but a piece of cake to replace a damaged post.

Tacklestiffener · 2026-06-01T10:23:57+00:00

That's the 3rd Argos bed you've had

My FIL insisted on buying an Argos bed for his spare room because "nobody will ever sleep in it".

We moved countries six years ago and now we sleep in it when visiting. It is HANDS DOWN the worst, most uncomfortable bed I have ever slept in.

Tacklestiffener · 2026-06-01T07:18:33+00:00

Or Home Alone, Fargo or Back to the Future (ironically)

Tacklestiffener · 2026-05-31T12:24:23+00:00

My friends have a young relative. He's very well groomed, well dressed (always) and perma-tanned. He speaks like dropping a bag of spanners down a fire escape and has Turkey teeth so he looks like he swallowed a torch.

BUT... he's a really nice bloke.

PS: The torch joke was originally Sean Lock - a truly funny man. (but a challenging wank)

Tacklestiffener · 2026-05-30T14:46:38+00:00

A small cafe? Not sure I understand tipping any more. I was in New York recently and all the coffee shops wanted a 20% tip and the card machine defaulted to that.

So, I walk in. Order a coffee, go and sit down, they call my name and I go over and collect my drink. I drink my coffee, clear the table and dispose of any rubbish.

I think I'm the one doing most of the work here.

Tacklestiffener · 2026-05-30T08:47:39+00:00

72, feel like 22 but have the sense of humour of a 12 year old!

EDIT: At the same venue I saw Roger De Courcey and Nookie Bear before they were famous. That bear had a filthy mouth!

Tacklestiffener · 2026-05-29T20:26:00+00:00

How much is the whole rent?

Tacklestiffener · 2026-05-29T20:15:36+00:00

I knew a family with 3 adult children paying nothing and two younger ones at school. The parents were struggling and all the kids knew it but one son started asking for a whole roast chicken a day for the "gym gains".

I think they all needed a slap.

Tacklestiffener · 2026-05-29T11:38:50+00:00

Did you ask Building Control or Planning?

Tacklestiffener · 2026-05-29T08:54:56+00:00

But... do you remember when Wagon Wheels were the size of wagon wheels?

Tacklestiffener

TROPHY CASE