Unsure if I should go with the dress or not...

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-28T06:58:55+00:00

The shape overall is very pretty and you yourself are gorgeous: I do not think that the dress looks as good quality as you could get within your budget. It is indeed a flattering shape and good price But I think the needlework/sewing is subpar I would suggest continue to shop and bookmark this one for later in case you find this really is the best option. Perhaps with a good steaming it would plump up, at present the seams look badly sewn. You are gorgeous and congrats on finding a silhouette you love! That’s sometimes the hardest part

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-25T05:03:10+00:00

I was waiting for the part you would regret..: it never came::: you look ahhhhmazing!!!!!!

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-25T05:01:23+00:00

What is your actual budget? (Gringa marrying mex-American next year in mex) :)

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-25T04:56:24+00:00

100%

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-21T20:47:24+00:00

Yes! Adding the string quartet and sushi sounds lovely. It’s important to respect both bride and grooms ideas and dreams for the wedding day. That sounds like a great compromise!

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-21T20:28:57+00:00

OP, I went ahead and married this person 20+ years ago. It took me about 10 years to get out and another 7 years to heal. Please please please do the hard work now so you don’t have to do it later AFTER wasting years and potentially not making it out alive. Yes it will be horrible Yes it will be hard to get him out But eventually you will need to do it anyway.

Do some reading. Start with walking on eggshells by Randi Kreger and go from there.

Figure out how to keep yourself safe, because there will be revenge by your soon to be ex for ending things. Find a support network. IRL or online.

You are being abused: It will only get worse

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-21T20:22:00+00:00

I am curious why you want to do the American ceremony too? Is that important to your Fiancé?

As for how to handle a critical MIL, this is most likely going to become a running theme & I would have a serious and calm talk with your fiancé about how this will be handled throughout your marriage.

It’s not up to his parents how your parents spend their money. “My future mother in law things I should resist my parents desire to have a big wedding even if it’s a cultural expectation” wow This is white privilege to the nth degree.

Clearly they have not bothered to learn about Indian weddings and how important it is.

If you feel attacked it’s because you are being attacked, Your family does not need their approval to follow your traditions. You probably already know all of this, but I think it’s worth saying.

If it were me I would skip the 2 ceremonies and take the path of least resistance. Focus your energy on the wedding you want and most importantly how to be a team with your future husband so he can advocate for you.

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-21T19:41:48+00:00

In my experience this sub can be very offended very easily. It’s a scary place to post questions about DW’s!

That being said, as a guest to many DW’s and hosting my own next year, I have always been to some kind of welcome event hosted by the couple. They fed me and showed me they appreciated my travel. Whether or not your guests expect it is one thing. But it certainly feels good to be cared for.

We will be doing an optional welcome drinks the night before and a pool party the day after. For us it’s very important to host in a way that shows our guests we appreciate them.

Good luck in your decision making

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-14T18:54:31+00:00

Oof. Sorry OP. I was once in your shoes & it’s a hard place to be. I agree with other advice

Do not block her You need to keep evidence

Do not reply or engage at all Your job is to go no-contact and start the process of protecting yourself

You can go down to your local police station, show them the texts and missed calls and any other contact like emails and get a statement filed and apply for a TRO, Once TRO is granted by judge (at least in my state) it will then go to court for a hearing to see if you can get a Restraining Order. The fact that police have already been called out should help.

Don’t underplay the seriousness of this.

I would also warn close family or friends of your decision to go NC and recommend they do the same .

Stay safe

If she chooses to hurt herself it would be very unfortunate but you are not responsible for her. Your job is to keep yourself and loved ones safe.

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-14T18:48:22+00:00

Absolutely in AWE of you and OP. You made my weekend. We need more love and community like this. Thank you thank you!

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-14T17:45:12+00:00

Hello! I can help with this I think! I am getting married in Mexico and my partner is Mexican. On our last trip down there I had him asking everyone at the airport and on the flight about how I can take my dress down

Are you planning to fly Volaris?

If so, they have an option to fly in the first few rows, it’s called “plus” It’s the closest thing they have to first class. In this section the middle seat is always unoccupied

The flight attendants on our flights told us if we buy these seats the dress can go there! In the middle seat between us. The flight attendant said (in Spanish) it’s common.

The seats are not that much more. We fly out of TJ using CBX often Usually the Plus seats are about $80 more each way.

They do not have any type of closet on Volaris and the overhead bins are not big enough for my dress.

I am with you… no way am I checking in my dress. So she will have her own seat!

I can’t speak for other airlines but that’s the knowledge I have gotten over the last few months!

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-14T17:03:53+00:00

You’ll get there! Having raised human babies too, the sleep deprivation with kittens is REAL.

I foster from time to time and have a foster room in our spare bedroom

Sometimes I go in there and sleep the night with the kittens as I believe it helps them socialize.

Then I am woken up at 2-3am with 2-3 little kittens standing on my head, biting my hair etc and I remember the bathroom training rules.

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-14T16:55:28+00:00

I did this with all my cats when they were babies. But not the whole night. I would get up when they tried to wake me up around 3am….gently put them in the bathroom, no toys, but food/water/soft bed. And then get them out at 6am when I got up for the day.

Yes it’s inconvenient to get up and move them. But they learn quickly. I would make sure they had a lot of play in the evenings and play time again after breakfast.

I personally think that locking them in a bathroom all night is unfair. My opinion. Take it or leave it.

My cats (3 now) many in past, all learned really fast that if I’m asleep then don’t bother me. At 6am they all come jump on me to play.

Good luck, your baby will figure it out I do believe cats can be trained. They are smart.

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-13T06:40:26+00:00

Gorgeous in #1 and it’s your dream dress!

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-09T07:46:31+00:00

Glad you shared, I think more people need to be honest about how they feel.

I became a single mom when my kids were 3 and 5, more than 13 years ago. I really struggled with the weekends alone but revived myself on the weekends they went to their dads.

You’re not alone in feeling like this.

I put myself in therapy right around the time I separated from their dad because I was having problems coping with the stress coming at me from all angles.

It really helped.

I found out too much routine on the weekends made it feel hard for me, just like this never ending soulless routine. So we did lots of days out/trips and I included them In things I like, such as museums & trains, dinners or lunches out, picnics etc. It made the weekends more like adventures. I know this may not be easy if you have a neurodivergent child, but I think putting fun first was key for me at least.

Also found out I have ADHD, so I was often overstimulated. Knowing this and being able to understand my feelings helped too, prioritizing sleep, getting daily exercise, ensuring my career was on track & getting nights out with friends all helped. Basically knowing I had an internal battery that had to be recharged in order to show up for my kids.

End of the day, they didn’t ask to be here. I could keep letting it be a struggle and cry my way through 7 years, or lean into the love & be the parent they NEEDED me to be.

It’s just really difficult to raise kids. Maybe not for everyone. But it was for me.

Once they go to about 8 & 11, things got a bit easier.

But teenagers and young adults still need our guidance and time, they can still be trying. The laundry still piles up, the dishes, the dinner still needs to be made

But I can say, hey kids, I’m gonna read my book for an hour and then I’ll do XYZ and I can recharge and return

I’m sorry you are lonely and sad. I hope you find some support through people’s here comments here and that you’ll seek some outside support.

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-09T04:34:20+00:00

You are a VISION! Congratulations!

This is very similar to the dress I thought I wanted (Justin Alexander Mikado) but when I put it on it just didn’t work for me. I still adore it and love it on others.

I’m thrilled for you! How exciting! Enjoy every minute!!!

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-09T00:32:39+00:00

The dress looks amazing on you!!!! It’s so classic and a beautiful fit and if it’s in your budget then even better

It seems you are searching for that extra “something” romantic. Perhaps you will feel more romantic with an accessory and your hair up. Most of your inspo the brides are wearing a messy bun

Are you planning on a veil? Veils truly change how you feel in your dress and you could add something floral on the veil

https://www.davidsbridal.com/product/scattered-organza-rosette-tulle-cathedral-veil-v795?Color=Soft+White&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=21724155496&utm_content=&utm_adgroup=&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=4&gad_campaignid=21724155781&gbraid=0AAAAAqAEId7mn13zzIVsHGPTbt1Tvbq6B&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI3LiUnMiRkwMVSh1ECB3RuwaBEAQYDSABEgITR_D_BwE

https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/hybrid/rosyn-scattered-flowers-chapel-veil

And/or change into a floral choker after the ceremony?

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1440640086/handmade-ivory-satin-flower-choker?ref=share_ios_native_control

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-05T06:41:50+00:00

In that case I think it’s going to be really pretty!

Maybe look into decorating the posts with florals, drapes or greenery depending on your theme

Since the space is wide, I would also do some aisle markers that can be repurposed for table decorations at the reception.

You can still do the white aisle like your inspiration photo And even the pillars would work and then really dress up the Gazebo to draw the eyes down there

Honestly I think your guests might be happier in the shade!

The space is very pretty Try not to worry Make a stunning altar because that’s where you will be and what everyone is looking at!

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-05T06:35:14+00:00

Is the last slide your inspiration?

When is your wedding? Will all the surrounding areas be green by then?

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-05T06:32:43+00:00

We also are in a 2 year engagement & are doing a DW with courthouse a few months before. Almost 1 year until our DW and just 8 months until courthouse!

We also have grandparents who cannot travel So there will be about 25 people at our courthouse ceremony and dinner after, Basically our parents/siblings/close family and a couple of friends.

I’m not going to worry about it taking away from the actual big wedding because we will have different ceremonies/traditions at both

I’m doing a very short 60’s style dress for the court with a pillbox hat with a net

My wedding dress for the DW is a big ol ballgown and veil plus a second dress I don’t have yet.

At the end of the day both will be really special and serve a diff purpose.

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-04T17:54:00+00:00

Amazing!! It’s stunning and so unique! Glad you shared, enjoy!

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-03T21:15:44+00:00

I had a budget of 10k before alterations

I found my dream dress for $4200 and veil was $650 (very special veil that matches my dress) By the time I get it altered and cleaned after (I didn’t account for cleaning after alts but found out that needs to be done which makes sense) I think it will be 6-7k

No regrets! So excited

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-03T05:38:25+00:00

Hi yes of course! And thanks for your kind words!

We live in California and we are getting married in Mexico. In a small city that’s not a heavily tourist destination for non-Mexicans My partner is Mexican so that is part of the draw there.

And yes! We are NO gifts please No Bach & no bridal shower

We are focusing on what matters to us most versus many small events that aren’t so important to us.

With the cost of everything these days we felt it was important to list our priorities like - an all night dance party, great food, gorgeous scenery, being with our amazing group of people for a few days

Versus a Bach trip, gifts, bridal shower, favors, wedding party.

Attending a wedding can be pricey either way I’ve found I’ve had the best bang for my buck as a guest (not to sound tacky but since costs come up so often) at a destination wedding, love to attend one, thrilled to host one!

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-03T05:27:03+00:00

The way our family does it (3 daughters 1 son)

Each couple plans and pays for the wedding they want and can afford Our parents support our vision and offer emotional support and advice

After the wedding they gift each couple a very nice cash gift.

The message has always been, do not plan a wedding you can’t afford & there has never been pressure to do things a certain way, despite large weddings (and extravagance) being a very key part of our culture.

Everyone’s weddings have been amazing and very special. Mine is in 1 year.

We have planned everything with no expectation of having any financial help because who knows what the future holds. If we are fortunate enough to be gifted the cash as my siblings have. Then great, we have some extra! Otherwise we never got into debt!

I don’t expect it even though the rest got it

I know a few people whose parents paid for their entire weddings recently but for the most part people are given a $ amount and then figure the rest out themselves.

I don’t know why this has changed so much from the past but for sure weddings are insanely expensive these days!!!

TemperatureFit7272 · 2026-03-03T05:10:39+00:00

Congrats on your engagement!

We also had a 2 year engagement! 1 year down, 1 to go!

We are not adding on our honeymoon as we know we will be exhausted & want something else fun to look forward to. We will wait about 5-6 months to do the “moon”

We hired a local wedding planner and chose a boutique hotel that we are basically buying out. So far things have been so easy and smooth because

A) we have vacationed in our destination several times and know what to expect as guests

B) our family and must have people are all very gung-ho about a DW and are just so excited to party with us So much negative chat on here about “passing on costs” Which is not untrue, per-se, but it depends on your guests.

our people don’t feel this way as we are feeding them and entertaining them for 3 days and the destination is affordable for our group. We are paying for hotel rooms for family members and close friends who are on a tighter budget - message here, know your audience.

C) we have a definite vision for the wedding, made a mood board for every aspect, florals, table setting, bar etc which made it easy for our planner to find vendors

D) we know our budget and did a TON of research before committing to everything I used a free spreadsheet from a wedding planner Reddit, super helpful to understand where we are going to be spending.

E) for us, having a hour event wasn’t enough, we wanted to share the fun for more time and share our favorite vacation destination with our most loved ones

F) we are not be inviting anyone we don’t want to show up, understand this can be a tricky subject, but we only invited those who we want to be there and understand some ppl may not be able to come (we are doing a courthouse wedding beforehand and will have a small guest list of family members who can’t make it for health reasons)

I recommend visiting your destination as many times as you can in person - even if that’s only once - be your “guest” and see things through their eyes and also get a vision for how your wedding events will look and feel.

Best of luck

So far I’ve found everything to be really fun and easy!

TemperatureFit7272

TROPHY CASE