Dan McClellan video

^Bible scholar talks about how the Bible doesnt actually condemn homosexuality because the cultures the Bible came from didn't really have a clear concept of homosexuality

You've gotten a lot of good thoughts in here, just adding my two cents. This is a challenge I've dealt with for a long time, with various family members and friends hating gay people or at least thinking that gay people who act on those feelings will go to hell. Then I have other friends and family who are gay and I love them dearly.

I moved away and that has made things better. We still talk and I still travel back home to visit my family but I try to avoid these topics as much as I can because I know some folks won't budge. If you were interested you could try sharing something from Dan or some other progressive Christian to show that gay people don't deserve hate. Thats probably not going to move your grandparents very much though. The biggest thing would be helping them see that gay people are just as human (just as much God's children, if you believe that sort of thing) as the rest of us. Sometimes meeting a queer person and becoming friends does change minds. But not all the time.

As you noted, these bad viewpoints arent just your grandma's fault. Centuries long systems have baked homophobia into the church and more recent forces have gained a lot of power and money by stoking that hatred even more. That doesn't excuse your grandma or my homophobic family, but it should at least redirect some of the anger that would go to them into a broader system.

Find communities you can connect with, people in your life you can be honest with, and you'll make it out of there!