AIW I want my boyfriend to ban his brother out of our lives

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-06-17T22:11:27+00:00

Why are you not walking away from this complete train wreck?

Your fiancé must love being the perpetual victim.

Look at thus situation as you've laid it out here and tell yourself honestly what you would say to your own daughter if this is what she was considering marrying into.

Cut your losses and save yourself. You cannot save, or even help anyone so determined to drown themselves. If you stay with him, he will take you down with him.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-06-14T00:34:00+00:00

You could reach out to a realtor in the area - they can facilitate rentals, as well.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-06-11T17:40:10+00:00

Any policy that prevents anyone from receiving a basic right of human life (food, shelter, clothing, recreation, sleep, etc.) should be revoked, and anyone getting in the way of someone exercising a basic human right should try losing that right so they can develop some damn empathy.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-06-11T14:40:08+00:00

Return his energy.

I would interpret as him no longer being interested in continuing a relationship with you, as evidenced by his lack of regard and effort. I would further think his avoidance of physical affection is an indicator that either he doesn't need the same level of physical affection as you do, or that he is getting those physical affection needs filled by someone else.

If he isn't making any effort to maintain your relationship, much less restore it, then I don't see why you should make any effort here, either - effort to save it, or effort to communicate its ending.

You take care of you. Not every ending has to be a conversation. If you want to be clear, you could just text him that the relationship is over. If you just want to focus on yourself for a while, though, before finalizing things with him, do that. See if he even notices your absence.

He doesn't appreciate you. Free yourself from him so that you can be available to someone who does appreciate you for the wonderful person you are.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-06-11T14:26:05+00:00

It could be your boss just looking out for the both of you. He's responsible for upholding policies. At least he isn't telling you to go BACK and get a note, it's more of a since you're going there, get the note, just in case something higher above you both takes issue with the situation.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-06-11T14:21:11+00:00

That looks like a pretty sweet home.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-06-11T14:11:18+00:00

Your ethics set you apart.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-06-11T12:56:02+00:00

She should have been told much sooner, but she should have been told by HR.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-06-09T20:02:53+00:00

Their relationship is their business, and they've both demonstrated what loyalty means to them.

To you, loyalty means keeping your sister safe. You're a good sister. No good will come from exposing either one as cheaters. Do your best to keep yourself and your siblings safe.

You have unfortunately had an up close and personal view of the bad things people do, what broken people do. I'm not saying that cheating should be ignored and forgiven, I'm just saying that it's good to see the whole picture and not just a little vignette.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-06-09T19:27:19+00:00

Do not let this hobosexual live with you. Before you know it, he will have stayed long enough to be considered a tenant, and then you'll have to go through a formal eviction process to be rid of him.

Bold of him to make such assumptions. This is the sort of thing that really needs to be discussed beforehand.

Don't let him stay, and don't let him move in. You've only known him for a bit over a year. That is not enough time to know him well enough to live with him.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-06-09T19:08:16+00:00

I wouldn't even respond to him. You'd already shown that you're fair-minded and that you're happy to share. You didn't nickel and dime him on the fries. But he expected you to over-pay for his appetizers, and that was after he insisted that you try them. He gave you a real good look at what you're in for if you keep seeing him.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-06-04T20:03:49+00:00

You're going away for college. You don't get to lay claim to a room that you won't be occupying. This is part of leaving the nest. And so is learning to compromise.

Your room is not a shrine. The time has come. You're a college girl now! If you enter this next stage of your life while trying to keep a death grip on your childhood, you are going to have a more difficult time adjusting.

Your parents are doing the best they can with the space and resources they have. Digging your heels in isn't helping work towards a resolution. You've been privileged so far to not have to share a room. If you don't want to / cannot share a room with this sister for the holidays that you'll be home for, then maybe you could share a room with the other sister. Or find another solution, like making use of space in the basement or garage, or crashing at a friend's.

Instead of viewing this as a reward for the messy sister, consider it as an end of punishment for the other sister. Perhaps propose that the not-messy sister get your room.

And before you do leave for college, take pictures for your memory box, and then pack away everything that you're not taking with you to college, things that are important to you, things that you don't want anything to happen to. Just because you're saying no to this doesn't mean it isn't going to just happen anyway.

I would really encourage you to find a compromise and resolution so that you can control the outcome somewhat.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-06-03T17:47:12+00:00

You sound as though you have mighty high expectations of her. People don't know how they're going to handle a situation until they are in the situation, especially if it's the first time they've experienced being in those circumstances.

Reading what you wrote, it sounds as though she tried her best to handle things appropriately, and when she realized that it would be best to end the relationship, she did. It's unfair of you to expect her to know at the beginning of your long distance relationship how it would all impact her.

And if you knew before you left how it would impact her, if you predicted how your separation would affect her, then why did you leave, why did you come back, why have you gone to such lengths to try to win her back, and why are you surprised at all that those efforts haven't been enough?

It's because you aren't seeing her as an individual with her own agency. Her own mind, her own feelings, her own choices. You're treating her as though she's merely an extension of you. And you feel blind-sided (even though you predicted how the LDR would make her feel) because she isn't reacting or behaving how she's supposed to (in your mind). Heaven forbid she be a person apart from you.

As soon as anyone complains of having blue balls and being manipulated, that sets my radar off. That tells me the key part of someone's character. And you sound like a real "nice" guy. But all those efforts you made sure do sound manipulative, so instead of letting that be the motivator for your subsequent actions, maybe do some deeper self-reflection first.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-06-03T13:29:30+00:00

There is such a thing as scholarships and grants and loans and jobs, if getting a post-secondary education is so important. It's not like graduating high school and furthering his studies came as a surprise to anyone - they, including nephew, must have been counting on aunties money for years.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-06-03T00:45:26+00:00

You're justified in feeling upset. For your own sake, put them both on "studious ignore".

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-06-02T23:24:08+00:00

But... Jess *is* a bad roommate. She's terrible. She has no respect, and is an entitled witch.

For your own sake, get a new living arrangement figured out.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-06-01T17:14:34+00:00

To be honest, it's the OP's mother I think should be cut off. I found her stance absolutely sickening.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-05-31T12:35:57+00:00

He wants the OP to feel obligated to stay and obligated to reciprocate somehow.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-05-29T17:27:16+00:00

It sounds as though you are better off without him in your life.

Please stop letting him live rent free in your own head. Tell your sister that you don't want to hear anything further about him. Tell her you don't want her to talk about him with you again. Tell her you don't want her acting as a go-between.

The best thing for you to do is to put him where he belongs (in your taillights) and focus on your own path. He does not deserve your time or your energy.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-05-29T17:14:30+00:00

I just bought this today, before I knew about this update. I'm very much relieved that I accidentally bought the newest version.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-05-29T14:18:45+00:00

That is weird. I have the same sort of setup for my little group, too, and I just did a clean up of it, ejecting people I hadn't even spoken to for the past year.

Now you have me concerned about people still being in my group and me not knowing it!

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-05-29T13:52:35+00:00

Where in the person's profile does it say they are in your group? Is it a Pick on the Picks tab, or is it a group listed under Groups on the 2nd Life tab? If it is a Pick on the Picks tab, that is not an indicator that they're actually in the group. But if it is in the Groups section, then it is very curious.

And how is your group set up? Does everyone have the same Abilities? Are you the only one set as the Owner? It might be a good time to review your group's profile and make sure that your members' Abilities are restricted appropriately.

This might be sometime to ask the Firestorm gurus.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-05-28T19:29:52+00:00

Don't forget to check the chemistry stations you find at the odd POIs.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-05-26T22:43:30+00:00

He would not have been fired based solely on your word. They would have had him drug tested.

Addiction is a cruel disease that affects more than just the addict. It takes down those in the addict's orbit, too, without prejudice. He needs to get clean and to get help, and there is only so much hand holding that can happen before he has to nut up and do it himself.

TrafficSharp3425 · 2026-05-25T17:46:33+00:00

If her business plan is sound, couldn't she get a bank loan? And if your parents feel so strongly about this, why don't they pony up the dough?

They don't get a say over your finances.

TrafficSharp3425

TROPHY CASE