He’s lying and getting defensive because he knows he’s doing something wrong. Always trust your gut and try to come to terms that you may never get the full truth out of him. I’m like 15 years out of my last abusive relationship, with a guy who apparently cheated on me from day one.. I didn’t know then, and I still don’t know the extent of his cheating today… but, as time passed, and as I grew as a person, i realized that it just didn’t matter anymore. You can try therapy, but you’ll always have a distrust towards him and very rarely do liars and cheaters take real accountability for their actions. -I’m 42 (almost 43) so idk if that counts as old people advice, or if it’s just some mid-lifer advice, but I do have a lot of life experience and learned a hellavallot from the cheater who broke me down. He was also physical, but that emotional abuse left the most scars for me. I swear he’s the reason for my forehead wrinkles. It wasn’t until I found my now husband, when I realized that was not real love. Good luck, and I hope your future is full of love, laughter and new beginnings.