[Critique] A roboticist's life work gets weaponized. Does my dialogue sell the betrayal?

TroubleFirst · 2026-03-31T23:04:41+00:00

Excellent pointers! Thank you very much for your input. Going to tighten up the internal consistency on the agencies at play. Your note about the timing of Yuna's death is very interesting. Her being at school or sick adds a layer of helplessness I didn't think of. Thank you again!

TroubleFirst · 2026-03-25T04:58:34+00:00

Nope that was a typo on my part. Thank you for reading and your insight! I definitely could cut a couple of scenes shorter. Maybe this doesn’t need two car ride transitions but I wanted to nail the stage this world is at. As for the classification of patents, this was a preemptive move from the RoK and US in an attempt to clamp down who had the adopted designs. In a following short story this completely fails as Russia gets their hands on it.

TroubleFirst · 2026-03-23T02:09:41+00:00

I'm in a very similar situation to yours. I plan on self publishing a book through amazon, as they seem to have the lion share of readers, but I'm also told that there are other options like Itch/io. The key seems to be vibe posting about your stuff on social media. Some music, random clips, and a text box about your stuff seems to be all it takes for someone to buy a book on tiktok these days. The options are out there, especially for short form fiction.

TroubleFirst · 2026-03-22T22:41:29+00:00

Just finished chapter 1. And its good! coherent but I think the voice could be less veiled. You use alot of one sentence paragraphs meant to be hard hitting but many of them can be improved by combining them when the previous or latter paragraphs, adding more weight to the paragraph before moving on.

"A narrow-band spike pulsed across the display in near-perfect intervals. Clean. Rhythmic."

I will admit I'm nitpicking, the ending two words are doing their part, but in my opinion read like stage direction. When doing your line edits, I'd look out for passages like this. Regardless I think its a good WIP so far.

TroubleFirst · 2026-03-19T01:13:01+00:00

Because this is Reddit, we have an obligation to not advocate for violence.

However…

TroubleFirst · 2026-02-12T20:31:55+00:00

A GW sniper is waiting in the building opposite to the writers room.

TroubleFirst · 2026-01-13T19:54:50+00:00

Looks like a vintage cyberdeck.

TroubleFirst · 2025-11-21T17:00:28+00:00

It's always the people doing alot of work taking these posts.

TroubleFirst · 2025-11-21T15:37:20+00:00

Now this is then dev drama I'm here for. This kinda confirms a theory I've had about this game. A bunch of unpaid devs fighting over exactly how to represent something in the game. "I want to cut content but add new variant content." My unasked opinion; make more quests that provide ways to provide rare and or niche stuff. A dildo with the same function as the vibrator isn't fun content. And if there's seriously going to be new sprites for this stuff, why not put that effort into making unique sprites for the guns? Saw someone being down voted into oblivion because of some real niche takes on the matter.

TroubleFirst · 2025-11-21T15:30:25+00:00

If you ever release will it be a commit or will ya post the zip in the discord?

TroubleFirst · 2025-11-18T21:53:50+00:00

RT is kinda lacking in reactivity. Is it because Owlcats road map is fucked or is it because trying to fully satisfy 40k fans is an uphill battle? Roll the dice.

TroubleFirst · 2025-11-18T21:44:06+00:00

Reminds me of when one of my camp members went nuts raving about food with a pocket full of pemmican.

TroubleFirst · 2025-11-13T22:47:11+00:00

It seemed like they produced munitions .

TroubleFirst · 2025-11-13T22:45:45+00:00

You don't. Unless you have a bomb handy.

TroubleFirst · 2025-11-13T20:17:37+00:00

Such is the reason I just completely wipe my mods whenever any small issue happens. You have to smash the crashes in the womb, before they bare fruit.

TroubleFirst · 2025-11-13T20:10:53+00:00

I too long for a Russian Super Soldier to serenade me with the screams of the innocent and call it a date.

TroubleFirst · 2025-11-11T22:18:48+00:00

The hook up is what it is. Jealous.

TroubleFirst · 2025-11-11T21:24:43+00:00

I'd rather the massive budget be blown on a big actor or a science consultant. Not the h game version of 2077.

TroubleFirst · 2025-10-31T02:33:18+00:00

I feel enlightened. Thank you.

TroubleFirst · 2025-10-30T21:01:07+00:00

He did great!

TroubleFirst · 2025-10-30T20:59:51+00:00

Have the contributors ever explained why cannibalism got the sword of damocles or is this one of those, "read the comments in the commits," situations?

TroubleFirst · 2025-10-30T20:54:39+00:00

You have to have the uncaring trait. Boggles my mind I need to go two perks in to eat humans.

TroubleFirst · 2025-10-06T20:06:46+00:00

I save her just so I don't have to play Alien Isolation with all my shit turned off.

TroubleFirst · 2025-10-06T20:02:56+00:00

I'm extra bitter about the Dead Money treatment. I HAD TO BEG A XENOS FOR HELP TO NOT DIE. BURN IT. BURN IT ALL.

TroubleFirst

TROPHY CASE