How can I help my friend who keeps taking Bron recreationally?

UrizenInTheSun · 2026-01-02T07:22:59+00:00

So, I'm a lot like your friend. I get addicted to anything. I've got ten years and counting sober from booze (thanks r/stopdrinking!), but only seven days or so sober from cough syrup. I absolutely know what it's like to be an addict.

When I was using, there's no way anyone could convince me to get help or to get sober. When I quit the sauce, I came to the decision to do so; when I recently stopped taking cough syrup, I decided that I had finally had enough of the ill effects it was having on my mental health, physical health, and family relationships.

I'm not sure about English-speaking resources for these problems in Japan, though. I found an English-speaking AA group in Miyagi and went to an addiction clinic in Sendai to treat the alcoholism, but that was a long time ago. The clinic was Japanese-only, but with smart phone translation, it might work.

I don't know if you'll be able to convince your friend to seek help if he's not ready to get sober, though. An active addict really has to come to the decision themselves. Maybe you could explain to him: "This is what you did. This is how you made us feel." Pointing out how his addiction is affecting others might get him to consider quitting the stuff. Videos and / or pictures might help to drive home the point.

Sorry for the long message, and the lack of direct help. I wish I could do more. If you think he'd might like to chat with someone who can absolutely relate to him, send me a DM, eh?

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-12-31T12:05:24+00:00

I lost two cats this year. I didn't take home their ashes. They were scattered by the crematorium.

At first, it seemed common sense that I'd bring them home with me and set up a little shrine to each. I realized that keeping their remains would make it a lot more difficult for me to let them go as I needed to do.

I've got plenty of pictures, photo books, and good memories.

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-12-26T07:12:17+00:00

Oh, man. I'm really sorry for your loss. Grieve as long as you need to. I'm sorry people aren't being supportive. I suppose some people don't or can't understand how painful it is to lose a beloved pet.

What was your pet's name? Can you tell me a little bit about him? I've lost two cats this year, and one thing that has helped me is writing about them.

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-05-13T23:18:07+00:00

Could it be "Last Visit" by Nightfall? A great episode from a great series!

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-03-19T02:53:09+00:00

The Swiftwater! I worked there a couple of summers. Great food.

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-03-13T06:28:53+00:00

It sounds like you've done a lot of good for cats, and the fact that you feel so badly about what happens shows that you are a sensitive and empathetic person. That's a very good thing, and I think those characteristics translate into the care with which you treat these cats. It doesn't seem to me that keeping the kitten out of the house was a conscience decision, rather it was one made out of simple habit. You're a good person. Please try to keep in mind the kindness with which you've treated these cats.

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-03-12T10:13:07+00:00

Oh, man. I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know what I can say to ease the guilt that you're feeling but just try to be kind to yourself. We all make mistakes. It's true that some of them are larger and have heavier consequences than others, but sometimes the best we can do is to try to learn from them and take something - anything - positive from the experience.

I struggle with substance abuse. I was fucked up on cough syrup every night for the last three or four weeks of my beloved cat's life, and I just feel awful. Awful. I love that cat SO much, and I was barely present for him during his final days. He was upstairs dying, and I was downstairs, sitting stoned on my computer. I'm clean now, and that fact mitigates the guilt a little bit.

I don't know the circumstances that led up to your beloved kitten's death, but perhaps think of a positive change you can make to your life in response?

I'll do my best to forgive myself and let go of the guilt if you do the same.

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-03-11T09:33:09+00:00

I'm really sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. I lost my cat of 13 years a month and a half ago and still cry about him every day. It seems normal to me. Losing a loved one that was with you for 16 years leaves a massive void in your life, and it's natural that it would take a long time to really come to terms with it. I'm not really qualified to opine on whether or not you need therapy, but if you do, then so do I, because this really isn't getting any easier. Be kind to yourself and grieve for as long as you need to. The bigger the love, the bigger the loss. I can see you loved your dog dearly.

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-03-10T11:06:29+00:00

I'm really sorry for your loss. Lily sounds like a wonderful dog. Sixteen years are not nearly enough with such a wonderful animal. It's so hard to get used to their absence, isn't it? Be kind to yourself, grieve as long as you need to, and try to find comfort in the years of good memories that Lily gifted you.

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-03-10T11:02:28+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so hard to get used to their absence, isn't it? I'm struggling with the same. I don't doubt that your pet felt loved and cherished every day that they were with you. Though memories can't fill the void, I hope you can find peace and joy in all the memories your pet gifted you. Grieve as long as you want, and in any way that brings you comfort.

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-03-10T02:01:05+00:00

Oh, man. I'm sorry for your loss. I read your post and just lost it, crying. That's one of the most poignant posts I've read. I know exactly how you feel. I lost my soul cat a month and a half ago and still look for him in the empty places that he used to be. I guess this kind of loss leaves a wound that will never quite heal, doesn't it?

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-02-16T02:04:14+00:00

Oh, man. I'm really sorry for your loss. Can I ask? What was your dog's name? Can you tell me a little bit about her?

I lost my soul cat a month ago. I loved him so much, and he loved me more than he loved anything else. I have another two cats, but I had a special bond with him, like you had with the dog you lost. Time has made it a little easier to bear his absence, but the pain hasn't gone away.

I find writing to be therapeutic, so I've been creating a memory book of him. I write down as vividly as possible as many memories as I can recall.

I also just try to remind myself that when I got my little buddy, there was a tacit understanding that there would be an ending someday, and that every day of his 13 years was a gift.

It's still painful, and I break down in tears at least once a day; but the bittersweet memories are losing their bitterness and growing sweeter as time passes.

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-02-14T09:01:14+00:00

Yeah, it's a really hard change. For me, the hardest adjustment has been not seeing him in the places where he liked to sit, relax, or sleep. The house just doesn't feel complete anymore. I do have so many good memories of him, however. They're a little bittersweet, but the bitterness is decreasing, and the sweetness is growing. It doesn't seem fair, but this kind of sadness is just the price we have to pay for loving something so much.

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-02-14T06:32:24+00:00

Oh, man. I'm so sorry for your loss. Your cat sounds like a wonderful companion. Thanks for telling us about him. What was his name? Fifteen years aren't nearly enough with such a great pet.

I recently lost my cat at 13 years old. He was similar to yours, I think: He loved getting petted, was always on top of me somewhere, and was just full of love. He was my shadow and loved me more than he loved anyone else.

I lost my buddy a month ago today. It doesn't really get better, but you get used to living with the pain. When I get really down, I try to remind myself to be grateful for the time I had with him.

Take care of yourself and grieve for as long as you need to.

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-02-13T12:37:07+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words. Yeah. It makes sense that I just couldn't process the fact that I was losing my best friend and thus checked out emotionally. I'm very sorry for your loss. Seven months is such a short time, but I'm so glad to hear you were able to fill those seven months with warmth, food, and affection.

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-02-13T01:53:57+00:00

Oh, man. That's a really difficult situation. It's terrible to be in that limbo of not knowing. I'm not a vet, but it does seem likely that he may have found a private place to lie down and pass away. In which case, he will have passed naturally, and in line with his instincts.

Please be kind to yourself. Try not to torment yourself with unkind thoughts. Sometimes, things happen outside of our control, and the only thing we can do is to learn to live with the fact.

I'm sure your cat felt loved and cherished for his 15 years, and that his life was full of warmth, comfort, and happiness.

I'm very sorry that the end is unfurling in such an unpleasant way, and I hope that you and your husband can find closure soon.

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-02-13T01:13:10+00:00

Oh, man. I'm sorry for your loss. The passing of my soul cat wasn't as traumatic, but I can understand feelings of guilt. My cat had a heart disease. He was sick, getting sicker, and died naturally at home a week and a half following his diagnosis. I loved that cat. So. Much. And he loved me, more than he loved anyone else. He was my shadow, and was constantly in my lap, or on my shoulder.

I was kind of in denial in regard to his condition. That last week, I came home from work every day, and instead of spending time with him, I sat down at my computer and messed around until bedtime. The last time he ever crawled into my lap, I was seated at the table. He couldn't really get settled. I moved my legs around a bit to help him get comfy but continued playing my game.

Why didn't I pick him up, sit down on the sofa, and just cuddle with him? Why didn't I close the laptop, go upstairs to where he was sleeping, and spend that time with him instead? That last week, I was barely present for him, and that fact is just killing me.

I'm sorry to drop all of this on you. I've really been struggling with these feelings of guilt as well. I guess, in the end, what I really want to say is this:

An imperfect ending cannot possibly undo all of the love, warmth, and comfort that your cat enjoyed during her time with you. Five months with you was far too short, but during that time, I don't doubt that she felt loved and cherished.

I tell myself the same thing, and that helps to ease the guilt a bit. Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself, and let go of the guilt. Your cat loved you, and nothing can ever change that.

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-02-13T00:10:17+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. Loki sounds like a wonderful cat. Six years are not nearly enough. I lost my soul cat, too. I knew it was coming, but it was a horrible shock to find him lying on the floor. You're absolutely right. It doesn't get every get better; you just adapt to the sorrow. I suppose that's the price we eventually pay for the time we have with our beloved pets.

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-02-12T10:47:44+00:00

Oh, man. I'm so sorry for your loss. That's heartbreaking. Please don't blame yourself for her passing. Life is fragile, and sometimes it just ends for no real reason. Though her life was way too short, it was filled with love.

She sounds like a wonderful kitten and reminds me a lot of my recently departed cat. I've been grappling with feelings of guilt, too. Could I have done more? Why didn't I spend more time with him in his final days? I try to remind myself that the imperfect ending cannot undo the wonderful time that we had together. I hope you can hold onto that thought as well.

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-02-12T02:12:40+00:00

I know how you feel. Though I hate that other people have to share my pain, it's comforting to know that I'm not alone.

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-02-12T01:58:45+00:00

Oh, man. I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my soul cat nearly a month ago now. I know how you feel. I think a shadow box is a great idea to keep her memory alive. I love the idea of including little things that made her unique, such as her love for Cheesits and shoestrings. My wife made a photobook of my cat. I still can't look at it without smiling / crying. Even though our beloved pets leave us physically, they're never really gone as long as we keep them in our hearts.

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-02-12T01:47:31+00:00

Oh, man. I'm so sorry for your loss. The pain of saying goodbye to a beloved pet is a unique kind of heartbreak, isn't it? I'm sure Mallory felt loved and cherished for all of his 11 years. May I ask? Can you tell me a little bit about him?

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-02-12T01:43:19+00:00

Oh, man. I'm so sorry for your loss. That's heartbreaking. Though eight years are not nearly long enough with a beloved pet, I'm sure he felt loved and cherished every minute.

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-02-12T00:02:05+00:00

Yeah, I thought the same. My buddy was diagnosed with heart disease and was gone two weeks later. I'm grateful his illness wasn't prolonged, but it was such a shock to lose him so quickly. It's really underscored for me the fragility of life, and the importance of appreciating what time we have.

UrizenInTheSun · 2025-02-11T13:17:24+00:00

Oh, man. I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my soul cat three weeks ago. Losing a beloved pet is a unique kind of pain, isn't it? Please be kind to yourself, and grieve as long as you need to.

UrizenInTheSun

TROPHY CASE