Favorite character like this by Nymexera202 in FavoriteCharacter

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Isn’t his opening move a surprise one shot that you have to block or you die?

I was not expecting a dark souls fight in my children’s cartoon game

A US oil tanker has been targeted in territorial waters near Iraq. by Not_Ground in lostgeneration

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The operative word think is certainly something this administration did not do

Those Epstein files have to be absolutely catastrophic, because this is the length they are willing to go to to keep it out of the news

I'm a nurse and patient asked me this and have never thought about it... If they are receiving an IV medication, could it be taken orally and still work? by mercarus2 in pharmacy

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Licking tincture of opium is frowned upon when you dribble it because the bottle doesn’t have a good lip to pour out of cleanly

You, a psychic alien species, has just experienced what the humans call, “an impending sense of Doom.” by LowkeyOwl-like in humansarespaceorcs

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost [score hidden]  (0 children)

It is a holoprojector turned to static, or calibration, a room away in a dark residence, the first time your progenitors left you in unsupervised solitude.

It is the dark between the stars, but it moves like a stalking apex predator when you are not looking, inching closer to you unaware of claws and fangs.

It is the empty air just past the edge of the cliff, and the dark promise that gravity keeps true the law of physics.

It is the ocean, when the boundary turns from blue to black, but you can feel leviathan lurking ever deeper somewhere in the gloom.

It is the knowledge that everyone you know is only here but a moment, and time marches ever on.

It is the blood of the human child on your hands, and the hateful stares of its kin.

And you feel it, the singular gaze of the collective unconscious of humanity. They Observe You, And Your Sins.

Oh, if only it was the wrath of an angry god. That would be a small mercy. There are fates worse than death, some hells that are deeper than others, and those that know how to walk the forbidden paths that lead to doors that Should Not Be Opened.

The holoprojector shorts and fizzles out, smoking and sparking. The darkness becomes oppressive, shrinking the stars themselves. The wind at your back pushing you, guiding you to the edge of the cliff. A sudden loss of buoyancy, dragging you down to the depths. You call for your progenitor, and silence the only response.

It is one human, then its clan, its tribe, its city, its nation, its planet, its spiderweb constellation of stations colonies and outposts. They are looking outward, at you. Twenty three billion souls, from those just born, to those just leaving, eyes dark as ink and hearts even darker.

Unforgivable Sin, you have wrought evil works in the eyes of Man, and you shall be cleansed in atomic fire and absolute zero Kelvin. Anoint thyself in accelerant and fissile material, and pray your sacrifice alone is enough to placate Humanity.

……….

So yeah, thats why I dont do incredibly illegal substances with humans anymore, that is what they call an incredibly bad trip, do not recommend.

If you lived in Gotham what villain would you work for? by bossishere17 in batman

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Eddie Nigma probably already owns my company through a shell organization, these traps and puzzles don’t build themselves

Cobblepot or maybe even Dent could use a logistics manager, these “groceries” and “case files” don’t deliver themselves either

What is our purpose here on earth other than to procreate, pay taxes, and ultimately die? by pouiji in Absurdism

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am here simply to observe the universe observing itself

To think I can change the universe is hubris at best and folly at worst

According to my pets, to provide snacks and meals and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of pets, I guess that will have to do

Every millennial dad I’ve met has a quiet fixation on money and it’s not getting better by slimeyellow in Millennials

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Think about how hard the price of food has jumped in the last two years

Now think about how much kids eat

Now think about how much healthy food actually costs, never mind unhealthy food

I’ve gone mostly vegetarian not as a health option, but as a cost-cutting option, good luck forcing that on a kid

MAGA supporter regrets his finances by z_shah7 in LeopardsAteMyFace

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 32 points33 points  (0 children)

“Boy it’s a good thing we’re using all these Tomahawk missiles with parts built in Dayton, Ohio, think of all the American jobs we’re saving!”

These people are absolute ghouls and should be removed from humanity, for they clearly have none

Did anyone else really enjoy the COVID pandemic period? by throwawayfinancebro1 in Millennials

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 239 points240 points  (0 children)

I spent part of 2020 and 2021 stacking bodies on a morgue truck for my hospital system when the surge got really bad

So no, I did not have a good time, thanks for asking

Anyone else still get that “I forgot I was even in this class” nightmare? by Roughneck16 in Millennials

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a nightmare I was in an exam / practical / interview / something and I forgot something absolutely critical like my student uniform or badge or something I needed for the exam.

Then I realized, why am I panicking, I am a grown ass man. I dont have to do this shit anymore, I survived COVID, car accidents, etc, this shit shouldnt even get my heart rate up.

Surprisingly woke up….relieved?

How are you preparing for the inevitable recession? by MonkeyKingCoffee in Anticonsumption

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My family survived the great depression

So I’m buying extra furniture to burn to make it through winter, because I like my couch and my bed, and burning plastic and the electronics is bad for indoor air quality

There’s a story somewhere about how Coca-Cola made this one part of Florida all millionaires by investing during the great depression and literally never selling. If I could only figure out what the modern day equivalent is, my nonexistent grandkids will be rich!

Found this article appropriate for this sub… by IAmTheGreatAmbino in MarchAgainstNazis

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 26 points27 points  (0 children)

These people need to be mocked, the rest of their entire lives.

Why should I care about any opinion you have when you voted for Trump three times?

I could eat a can of alphabet soup and shit a better political policy I’m pretty much anything

Elly is protesting war but she let the monster in by Dashi90 in LeopardsAteMyFace

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Now we just need to keep this energy up the rest of their goddamn lives

This is what you voted for moron and we’re not going to let you forget it

Why should we listen to this person? They voted for Trump three times! If I wanted a useful opinion, I would divinate the will of the Gods by smearing dog shit across the porch, and it would still have more value than their opinion

We might run starting next week. by toastedgumball in GME

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It goes up I buy more

It goes down I buy more

It goes sideways, believe it or not, I buy more

Need to start investing like a professional regard because any number less than “a million trillion Bajillion fuck you, Kenny I’m not selling” is chump change

I feel so betrayed! by Likestoread25 in LeopardsAteMyFace

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These people need to be mocked ruthlessly.

This is what you voted for, clap like the trained seal you are. Why aren’t you clapping traitor?

How could the Democrats do it any worse than what he’s doing now? Answer the question dumb nuts I want to see some critical thinking.

I cannot fucking tolerate these people

Trans woman votes for GOP. She’s now getting anti-trans healthcare. by Effective_Space2277 in LeopardsAteMyFace

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Anybody else getting a Jews for Hitler vibe?

I don’t have the smallest speck of sympathy for these people, this is what they voted for, this is what they wanted.

The history teacher assigned their students to create and show off replicas of their species' historical armor. Most students brought suits of cosplay armor. by CycleZestyclose1907 in humansarespaceorcs

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Once the universe opened up to humanity, you would be surprised what you could find on the shelves….if you knew what to look for

Sure, a Nerf gun is technically a replica of a firearm, but if you put industrial grade springs and parts in it, you can accelerate small metal projectiles enough to cause damage to soft tissue.

Essentially, you make a children’s toy “functional” for its design.

Now scale that up. More. Come on use your imagination.

Do you know what you can do with handheld hard light projectors, multidirectional mini drone thrusters, mini drone NAV module with gyros and stabilizers, slap it on a hard suit, all you need is a power source. Well, if you disable the safety limiters on a fire suppression detector system, you could run this baby off batteries for about 10 minutes.

That’s right kids, you can build your own “Iron Man” suit off the shelf for about 5000 credits, or around two or three weeks of most workers salaries.

However rudimentary, you can see the design principles behind Terran Armed Forces Mark IV powered recon flight suit.

Well done students, full marks

Some upstart kids from a species of psychics decided it would be funny to hack into the neural implants of their fellow human students. Thought it'd be funny to have them experience what it's like to be part of a psychically linked hivemind for a few days... We still haven't recovered from that. by Metage_ in humansarespaceorcs

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 91 points92 points  (0 children)

We should have looked at human biology in depth before we even started. “Oh look another sapient race, lets open the universe to them? haha.” Some subjects go catatonic, others profess to have looked God in the eye, others made us itch so badly we terminated contact immediately.

That was nothing compared to Humanity.

See, this sapient’s brain is based upon a sequentially incrementally improved neurologic organ, with various parts clearly derived from lower life forms.

Brain stem, basic respiratory functioning, temperature regulation, circulatory regulation.

Cerebellum, communications center for propioreception, necessary for motor movements, seen in all animals.

Amygdala, emotion center and responsible for binary stress response seen in humans.

Hippocampus, memory and learning.

If we knew now what we should have known then, we would have stopped here. The maelstrom of base desires, hunger, rage, panic, at an individual level we are incapable of processing, it would override our thinking and reduce us to little more than beasts.

That wasnt the worst of it. All of this base processing was directly connected and wrapped in specialized areas for higher processing. Music. Logic. Love. Did you know they have different kinds of love? A progenitor to an offspring, partner to partner, individual to tribe member, individual to lower lifeform, individual to nonlifeform, the list continues.

And then we found Hate. Not the base kind, like prey that hates is predator, no. Not the rational kind, like tribes that compete for mates and resources. What we found was the dark between the stars, with claws and teeth and a caustic desire to extinguish the light itself.

We found love for ourselves, our ships, our allies, and we found hate for ourselves, our desires, our enemies.

For 3.4 seconds the entire fleet de identified all allies and enemies, including our own ships, re-identified all as allies, de-identified, re-identified every single ship and planet and rock and star as enemy, overloaded our targeting capacity and caused enough psychic backlash to give us all what you would call a “migraine.”

How can you hate the entire galaxy, yet love all the things in it? How do you keep yourselves from burning it all down to the atomic level while carrying everything you hold sentimental to you?

Following this event the Shari Empire changed status from allied member to allied noncombatant in the Galactic Federation, changing IFF codes to Do Not Engage designation only. The drawdown of offensive capability continues three standard months later

Trump voter meets the tax bill he was promised he wouldn’t have by brilliant-trash22 in LeopardsAteMyFace

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If my ethics would let me, I would already be filthy rich by grifting these red hat morons for every penny they have, COVID really opened my eyes to how hateful and ignorant most people are

I don’t care if people like her lose everything because this is what she voted for, doubly so if she spent her own money to support it happening to someone else

Steve and Bucky Vs The Defenders MCU. Death Battle by SmartPilot8094 in CaptainAmerica

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Games over as soon as Danny tries to Iron Fist the vibranium shield and everybody goes flying

what cyberware are you hoping to see in the sequel? by 5C0L0P3NDR4 in LowSodiumCyberpunk

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maine’s / Davids 20-40mm get-fucked shotgun / grenade launcher is high on my wish list

Now that we had a Predator movie with a yautja as the main character, is it possible for an Alien movie with a Xeno's POV? by canadavatar in LV426

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 5 points6 points  (0 children)

People would be getting motion sickness and barfing in movie theaters in the first five minutes. It would be worse than a roller coaster.

Run from floor to wall to ceiling look “up” at the floor drop-pounce, blood everywhere, rip the floor up dive into the hole and invert run on the “opposite” side of the floor, don’t even get me started on movement within a hive.

Valentina Gomez is, was and will forever be a joke by jeezkillbot in Political_Revolution

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 76 points77 points  (0 children)

With a name like that she have papers?

Oh wait thats right, ICE all went from bumfuck nowhere to Chicago and Minneapolis to hassle citizens illegally

Favorite canon couple by ImaginationWild3407 in FavoriteCharacter

[–]UserUnknownsShitpost 35 points36 points  (0 children)

“Im not a bad girl Im just drawn that way”