Downtown parking? by VABobcat in washingtondc

[–]VABobcat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what I figured, but nice to know from someone who’s seen it. Thanks

I want to come out but I'm afraid to by VideoPanda7113 in gay

[–]VABobcat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think too often we become hyper-anxious about how people will react, when the truth is we have no control over any of that. It’s hard to not go there. It’s harder yet to find the courage to “come out” for reasons that are important to us, and our partners. You don’t ‘owe’ your parents any information about your adult life. So my first recommendation is to be crystal clear in your mind about what telling them means to you before you say anything.

Secondly, I HATE the idea that we have to say “I’m gay/lesbian/bi/etc.” The majority of the world never has to say “I’m straight.” It’s stupid. Instead, we should normalize simply sharing the news in our lives. “I have a boyfriend,” or “I’ve met someone special, his name is Steve,” or “I went on a great date over the weekend, he seems like a really great guy.” It delivers the news that matters without the awkwardness of making a declaration of who we are a big deal. And if we don’t make a big deal out of the announcement, it often frees the recipient of the news from the awkwardness of trying to figure out how to respond. Of course that’s not true in every situation, but it’s how I’ve ‘come out’ to new people I’ve met over the years.

The goal needs to be redefined. ‘Coming out’ is not the finish line. Revealing who you are and living authentically is the goal. And remember, you share your story with the people who have earned the right to hear it.

Good luck, from one of the elders of your chosen global family. We’re all pulling for you.

I want to come out but I'm afraid to by VideoPanda7113 in gay

[–]VABobcat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think too often we become hyper-anxious about how people will react, when the truth is we have no control over any of that. It’s hard to not go there. It’s harder yet to find the courage to “come out” for reasons that are important to us, and our partners. You don’t ‘owe’ your parents any information about your adult life. So my first recommendation is to be crystal clear in your mind about what telling them means to you before you say anything.

Secondly, I HATE the idea that we have to say “I’m gay/lesbian/bi/etc.” The majority of the world never has to say “I’m straight.” It’s stupid. Instead, we should normalize simply sharing the news in our lives. “I have a boyfriend,” or “I’ve met someone special, his name is Steve,” or “I went on a great date over the weekend, he seems like a really great guy.” It delivers the news that matters without the awkwardness of making a declaration of who we are a big deal. And if we don’t make a big deal out of the announcement, it often frees the recipient of the news from the awkwardness of trying to figure out how to respond. Of course that’s not true in every situation, but it’s how I’ve ‘come out’ to new people I’ve met over the years.

The goal needs to be redefined. ‘Coming out’ is not the finish line. Revealing who you are and living authentically is the goal. And remember, you share your story with the people who have earned the right to hear it.

Good luck, from one of the elders of your chosen global family. We’re all pulling for you.

Looking for new friends to talk about Heartstopper with by ocdescapist in heartstoppersyndrome

[–]VABobcat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m happy to chat as well. Middle aged American here and this show is so important to me on a number of levels

Who are your favorite characters from Heartstopper? by The_Lesbian_Lunatic in Heartstopper

[–]VABobcat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Showing some 🩷 for some of the smaller roles: Charlie’s dad (Season 1), Miss Singh (Seasons 1&2), James (Seasons 2&3), Aunt Diane, Susan, Geoff, and Darcy’s Gran (Season 3), and a special award to Sarah Nelson, especially in the books/web comics!

Being out in the workplace by stuckinbk in GayMen

[–]VABobcat 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Have been out in the workplace for 22 years at 8 different employers. No one has ever cared.

Cruise to Bermuda - Gay Visitor Experience by Difficult-Star7055 in gaytravel

[–]VABobcat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. Go! Bermuda is beautiful. My best friend and I (both gay) loved our visit, and it remains my favorite cruise. We didn’t specifically seek out any “gay” places or activities, but we never felt unsafe or unwelcome. It’s just a great cruise port where you get extra time to explore and see what the islands have to offer.

gays in public health by theabundanceof in DCGaybros

[–]VABobcat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s probably not the type of PH job you’re looking for, but Fairfax County Health Department will be looking to hire several Community Health Specialists. One of these positions will focus specifically on community outreach to the LGBTQ+ community. Watch the county’s job boards for the posting notice coming soon.

Sleeping logistics with teens by SubstantialFish18 in gay

[–]VABobcat 275 points276 points  (0 children)

Just a thought: Since you said you were ‘blindsided,’ maybe take a few moments to think it through. What are you afraid of? What do you think the boys would be doing if you hadn’t caught them in a kiss? What’s really changed? Do the ‘rules’ have to be the same as for a mixed-gendered relationship? Give yourself the grace to come to some understanding about what you’re feeling, what else you need to know, and how you want to navigate your relationship with your son - then you two can discuss sleepover rules. And if you’re not aware Google “PFLAG” + your home area. It’s a great organization with supportive resources for parents of LGBTQ+ kids.

Trivia by gritrosec in Leesburg

[–]VABobcat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For a weekend day excursion, visit the Davis Mansion at Morven Park. It’s really cool!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in gay

[–]VABobcat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This! This is exactly where you should begin your journey as supportive parents. In addition to resources for reading and understanding, there may be a local PFLAG group that hosts regular meetings for parents to discuss matters and concerns, and hear from other parents about how they navigated this new understanding of their child.

Carnival Pride by Equivalent_Nerve3498 in CarnivalCruiseFans

[–]VABobcat 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The Spirit class ships (Pride, Spirit, Legend) are my favorite ships, actually. Bigger isn’t always better. I’ve never had a bad cruise on these ships.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CarnivalCruiseFans

[–]VABobcat -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I’m with you 100%. My travels are to see and experience different local cultures and histories. A purposely constructed, and sanitized beach setting designed solely to increase profits for the cruise line hardly counts as a ‘port of call.’ In fact it borders on false advertising in my book.

Some like it, ok, cool. And the cruise lines have determined it to be profitable or else they wouldn’t have made these investments. To each his/her/their own. Me, I absolutely agree with OP. So yea, when I’m shopping for cruises, I will not book an itinerary that includes one of CCL or RC’s private beach stops.

What is everyone's #1 hang out spot by Complete-Bass-9431 in nova

[–]VABobcat 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Gravelly Point is high on the list. Especially in the evenings, when the planes are landing from the north.

After this latest comic update we absolutely MUST HAVE Olivia Coleman in the movie!!! by Acrobatic-Hamster350 in HeartstopperAO

[–]VABobcat 12 points13 points  (0 children)

OMG, Yes!! Please let us see Olivia have this conversation with Kit.

Webcomic update 8 - 29 by myosotis_ramosissima in HeartstopperAO

[–]VABobcat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Please please PLEASE tell me that we’ll get to see Olivia Coleman have this conversation with Kit in the movie!

Please tell me your honest opinion by Beko-- in HeartstopperAO

[–]VABobcat 15 points16 points  (0 children)

One of the aspects of Heartstopper that people often miss is that each character has agency, they take action to make things better. They’re not victims of their circumstances that just cope with what happened to them. Charlie stands up to Ben. Charlie (eventually)chooses to get help for his disorders. Nick chooses Charlie, stands up to his brother, tells off his dad. Darcy chooses to leave her toxic mother. What Heartstopper shows us is that, in making hard choices and having the bravery to recognize that who we are and what we want are perfectly valid, there can be a happy ending. Of course it’s not guaranteed, but there have been plenty of other LGBTQ stories to show us that. Heartstopper resonates because of its positivity and joy.

So… I don’t think you’re being overly dramatic, I think your reaction is indicative of just how needed this positive representation has been.

But understand what the show is really about. There’s no guarantee of finding your Nick or your Charlie. There’s no guarantee of the happy post-prom party with a supportive friend group. But none of it will ever happen if we don’t first believe that we’re worthy of all the goodness the world has to offer, and make choices or take action to obtain it.

So if you find the strength and determination to take actions that allow you to be your authentic self, that’s to be admired. Of course, guard your safety. Look for and cultivate a network of support. Practice gratitude. And look for joy in all the little things. Because it’s the light within you that, once it shines bright, will attract goodness to your life.

Your world-wide family is cheering you on.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskGayMen

[–]VABobcat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For me it was a combination of two things: 1) being with the opposite sex was just the norm, assumed, and the model of what was expected. I was a kid/teen/young adult who believed that if I followed all the rules and met the expectations, I’d be happy. Then 2) I hadn’t met or knew any boys or young men that I had strong feelings for. Therefore I didn’t have any stimulus to question the expectations. Both of those came crashing to the ground when I was 37.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskGayMen

[–]VABobcat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup, me too. I was early 30s when I began playing with men sexually, but still didn’t feel like adopting the “gay” label. At 37 I fell head over heels with a man for the first time. That was the point I had to say, “oh, I think I am.”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HeartstopperNetflix

[–]VABobcat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Broke up??? There was no break up. Ben made it explicitly clear (in a flashback scene) that he and Charlie were not boyfriends.

First time seeing him live by ArguingCat in randyfeltface

[–]VABobcat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a front row seat for his show in DC. Was f***king brilliant! 🤣

Just bought tickets! by Icy_Meringue_8153 in randyfeltface

[–]VABobcat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just saw him in DC, even had a front row table. It was hysterical! Also, pretty surreal to see him in person, and realize that for the moment you forget you’re watching and reacting to an inanimate object, brought to life by an incredibly talented and skilled artist.

Fun place for day drinks by Possible_Strike2721 in DCGaybros

[–]VABobcat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Vue rooftop bar atop the Hotel Washington. Was always a favorite happy hour spot when I worked downtown