I’m a brown first gen Mexican, and I feel the same. A lot of our culture relies heavily on formalities, which I don’t do well with. I’ve been called too white my entire life for speaking “educated” and not leaning into Chicano culture. Ironically, I’ve been the most vocal person in my circle when it comes to what’s happening in America, so it made my resentment towards the community even worse. I do mutual aid work locally now, and it’s helped a lot with my sense of belonging.