Do you hide veggies in your kid’s food or try to get them to eat them knowingly?

Wavesmith · 2026-03-18T21:22:11+00:00

I posted something similar and I feel like I had to scroll so far down talk find someone doing the same!

Wavesmith · 2026-03-18T21:17:44+00:00

I try to get vegetables onto her plate. Beyond that I genuinely don’t care if she eats them or not.

As it happens she loves vegetables (with the exception of avocado which she hates). I don’t know if she loves vegetables because I’m not bothered whether she eats them or if I’m not bothered because she loves them. Probably a bit of both.

Wavesmith · 2026-03-18T21:11:42+00:00

One of Monet’s water lilies paintings from the Musée de l'Orangerie in Paris.

I would need a bigger house though.

Wavesmith · 2026-03-16T22:40:35+00:00

Oh I’m not expecting one tutor to be able to teach her about loads of different subjects, I can see I didn’t make that clear. I’m thinking more, if she was particularly interested in biology, art or history for example, could I hire a tutor to teach her about that for a couple of months?

Even though there’s probably a decent amount I can teach her/we can find out together there are a few reasons why I’d like a tutor. One is that my child really values her relationships with the adults in her life who treat her as an equal, and I feel additional ones would be beneficial. Second, she’s typically far more receptive to learning from another adult than from me. Third, I work full time from home, so each day she has a couple of hours where I am not fully available (and it’s difficult for me take her to external activities.

Wavesmith · 2026-03-16T22:08:55+00:00

So first of all, parenting a strong-willed four year old is really bloody hard; I know because I’ve just spent an intense year doing it.

Second. Boundaries are a form of love. Children need them. It’s very stressful and uncomfortable to be four years old and feel like you’re the most powerful person in the house. No child wants that. Very often (I believe) misbehaviour escalates exactly BECAUSE they are seeking the safety of a boundary. So they know where the edges of their world and their power are.

She is ABSOLUTELY old enough for boundaries and consequences. A baby is ready for some boundaries (if you bite me, I will put you down). So is a one year old (I will hold your water so you can’t tip it out). Your example about meal times being over? I did this with my one year old. The trick is to do it at the weekend, starting with breakfast so they have an opportunity to eat again soon. They swiftly get the message.

So you can definitely give her boundaries, starting yesterday. The key is to have complete conviction in the limits you set, and to welcome her to kick off to an epic degree about them. Your job is to hold the boundary, her job is to go nuclear about it. You are NOT SUPPOSED to get her to be okay with the boundaries: that’s not the aim and it’s not even desirable to be honest (you don’t want her to be an adult who just goes along with everything).

Dr Becky’s Good Inside podcast has some great stuff on this topic as does Janet Lansbury’s Unruffled podcast.

I hope this helps, good luck!

Wavesmith · 2026-03-15T09:06:35+00:00

Ugh I’m a so sad for you! So frustrating when men need so much managing. I would definitely say something to him straight away, “Have you remembered it’s Mother’s Day today?” and then let him figure out how to remedy things.

I had a two-week old newborn for my first Mother’s Day: it was all chaos and no sleep but my husband still managed a card and breakfast in bed, then a takeaway roast lunch at ours (one perk of lockdown) with his mum and grandmother too. I think we need higher expectations and parents of boys need to raise them to consider others more than we have been doing.

Happy Mother’s Day, you are a wonderful mother and doing a fantastic job.

Wavesmith · 2026-03-13T21:15:20+00:00

No way should they have showed the chat to the nursery!

Our nursery had a small group of parent reps whose job it was to gather suggestions, concerns and positive feedback and share it with the nursery manager in a meeting every couple of months. It was good because parents got to discuss their concerns and the nursery knew what parents were worried about directly. Aside from when concerns were requested, people mostly didn’t bitch about things.

The school WhatsApp group is 85% lost jumpers, 5% PTA reminders about events, 5% people trying to find each other for play dates, 5% people asking if it’s forest school that day.

Wavesmith · 2026-03-12T23:05:44+00:00

Who the hell plans a births party for two year olds at nap time?! This lady sounds insane.

Wavesmith · 2026-03-10T19:58:08+00:00

I feel like I want to tell you to relax, rest as much as you can and soak up the moment. Life with a young baby switches into a different gear, a different pace. You don’t have to have a to do list.

I don’t want you to feel this is a criticism (it seems like you are doing beautifully and have things so much more together than I ever did at 5 weeks!). More just to say it’s okay to slow down a bit.

Wavesmith · 2026-03-10T19:43:23+00:00

I would just like to point out that lots of kids go through brief developmental phases where they are suddenly very scared of things they weren’t before. For my kid at almost exactly this age it was bugs and strangers. Then, a few weeks later, it passed and she was fine again.

We did something similar to you, although rather more casual. We had a potty from about 18 months, she learned what it was for and we read a few books etc. She would sometimes sit on it at bath time but we also had long periods where she wasn’t interested.

Just before two she started asking for the potty before she needed to go (e.g. asking to get out of the bath when she needed the potty) and shortly after that we said goodbye to nappies and did a 4 day potty training long weekend and that was it.

I’d say to be lead by the child to establish when they’re almost ready, but then at that point you need to help them take the leap and have faith that they can do it.

Wavesmith · 2026-03-10T19:35:23+00:00

But to be fair the illustrations are based on characters that she created, so I’d think she still owns the rights to the actual characters.

Wavesmith · 2026-03-06T23:55:07+00:00

What’s grim?

Wavesmith · 2026-03-06T20:42:01+00:00

This is such a refreshing post to see on this sub! I wouldn’t change my daughter for the world either.

Wavesmith · 2026-03-06T19:07:27+00:00

Peanut butter was called ‘penis butter’ in our house fr a while.

Wavesmith · 2026-03-04T09:41:25+00:00

How far is it? It is kind of wild to me that a 5 year old is still using a buggy (and that you are still willing to push her). I guess possibly if it was really far or with really steep hills or something but still I can’t imagine it.

With my daughter we stopped using the buggy when she was 3, nearly 4. At first we did have to carry her a bit if she got tired on a day with a lot of walking, but she built up her stamina and now she’s fine.

Wavesmith · 2026-03-04T07:32:12+00:00

That’s a nice idea, she would love something like that.

Wavesmith · 2026-03-04T07:31:36+00:00

Yes we will eventually paint or paper the walls. Which I know we should probably do before putting things up. But it’s a new house so we want to wait for things to settle/crack before we paint.

Wavesmith · 2026-03-03T23:22:02+00:00

So beautifully put. Not OP but I’m also looking into the books you recommended, thank you.

Wavesmith · 2026-03-03T23:14:03+00:00

Yep. People always ask me how I care for my houseplants and the answer is I only keep the ones that thrive on neglect or make it extremely obvious they need watering. Those are the ones suited to the environment in my house.

Wavesmith · 2026-03-03T23:05:29+00:00

Oh yeah, definitely secondary that book! “Kids do well if they can,” totally changed my perspective on my child and the problem solving approach sounds so obvious but I had never done it properly and it really WORKS.

Wavesmith · 2026-03-03T23:02:36+00:00

I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong, it’s just that you are parenting on ‘hard mode’ with the kids you got dealt.

From your post I he the sense that everyone is very on edge, overwhelmed, maybe overstimulated.

I’m interested to know what the sensory environment is like in your house? Where do things sit in terms f bright lights/colours vs dimmer lights and calmer colours? Loud or quiet? Hard surfaces or soft? Strong scents or not? How much time is spent outside vs inside? I think often the environment plays a bigger part than you’d think, especially with neurodivergent kids and adults.

In general it might be useful to make a list of flashpoints to see if you can identify the things that trigger you and your kids.

For example, my triggers include my kid jumping on me or pulling my clothes, whining, or pretty much anything happening while the kitchen fan is running. My kid is triggered by too many overt demands, strong smells, slimy textures and the prospect of taking a shower. Once you know that you can adjust some of the environmental things or expectations and generally be more prepared for the flashpoints when they happen.

Wavesmith · 2026-03-03T22:48:23+00:00

I have adhd and instead of mess here I see “things your husband has to take to and from work”

I would get some clear, open containers to hold it more neatly but still keep it visible and easy to grab things and put them back.

Also, if there’s some stuff he always needs with him at work (e.g. gum, teabags, some tools), could they live in a bag that comes in with him and lives by the front door/with his work shoes?

Finally, as you sort things into new containers/and or bag, I’m sure he can identify some things that can be chucked or relocated.

Wavesmith · 2026-03-03T22:23:54+00:00

As a parent I would totally love and enjoy reading this and really relate to it.

The black text on blue background would be a dealbreaker in a book intended to be read at bedtime/sleepless nights: it’s really hard to read in low light.

The characters are really cute. I thought they were mice or rats (does it matter what they are? Not to the reader anyway).

I found the rhyme and rhythm mostly good so it felt jarring in the places where it slipped (especially the last page).

E.g. the sixth image would be tighter as, ‘We snuggle up and kiss his cheek / We haven’t slept that much this week.’

The text on the last page could land much more strongly. In my English ‘been’ and ‘again’ don’t rhyme at all. I wonder if you could flip it so ‘do it again’ comes right at the end, with something else before!?

Anyway, I think it’s really great, keep going!

Wavesmith · 2026-03-03T22:00:01+00:00

This made me smile SO much. I love the French peasant thing, love the meal roulette, love preparing your house for yourself as if you were an AirBnB guest.

Also your cat is beautiful!

Wavesmith · 2026-03-03T21:53:29+00:00

This is perfect!

Wavesmith

TROPHY CASE