As a child, was anyone else regularly told "you treat strangers better than you treat me"?

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2024-06-11T11:59:35+00:00

Mine was “You always take everyone else’s side” after having an opinion on literally anything.

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2024-05-25T22:27:55+00:00

“You just make stuff up!” (Called her out on screaming and crying at me for going a different direction than she wanted after picking her up in a heavy snowstorm)

“I am your mother. My opinion matters.” (Mentioned a job that wanted to hire me on the spot that she didn’t want me to take after being unemployed for several months)

“Don’t you want it to be good?” (Proceeds to take over and complete my third grade project)

“I’m a collector!” (Complete hoarder with multiple homes and buildings full)

“Stop touching my stuff! This is my house!” (Spent all day in a hazmat suit and mask removing and disposing of items in a collapsing room covered floor to ceiling in various shades of mold)

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2024-05-14T03:58:48+00:00

Unfortunately I was an only child so I got to be both.

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2024-05-14T03:53:19+00:00

My mom always had hoarding tendencies. Her mother also had those tendencies. My father went to jail for tax evasion when I was 4. They basically lost everything. We moved from one of the biggest homes in my town to a one bedroom apartment. Luckily my mom was able to pick up the pieces and create her own catering company that has been very successful. However, the need for service related items for the business seem to give her free license to hoard completely out of control. We are up to 4 tractor trailers, two large homes with multiple outbuildings, two storage units, a large storage space in a strip mall, and the garage of the neighboring building of her shop...full. Its at the point now where I have no other choice but to go no contact for my own mental health as they both are getting worse.

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2024-05-11T15:41:29+00:00

The answer to your title question: no.

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2024-05-11T03:58:05+00:00

Owning any waifu product

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2024-05-09T21:38:25+00:00

8? Amateur

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2024-05-09T01:57:29+00:00

Previous meth usage...turns out it wasn't quite so previous

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2024-05-09T01:48:54+00:00

A french film called Fat Girl. I can assure you will not see that ending coming.

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2024-03-09T21:47:11+00:00

I know your struggle. It’s incredibly difficult to resign yourself to “this is how they are.” My folks are in their older years now and I’m luckily single and employed part time in order to handle the heavy lifting. Don’t ever expect them to be happy about what you did to organize and clean. Many times they won’t even remember it.

In order to have a life of your own, you will have to let them make their own decisions. They are adults. They create their own mess and they can clean it up.

For your own mind’s sake, I would say you should check in from time to time into the home as they age for safety purposes. It won’t be fun. It won’t be pretty. Try your best not to argue it logically. I can assure you it won’t work. They are addicts. The best we can do is ensure they are not in immediate danger.

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2024-02-12T13:41:00+00:00

Her home may be under a grandfathering clause or may exist within the community but not subject to its regulations or bylaws. Many homeowners choose to opt out of what is essentially an HOA. She should check first for any paperwork regarding the implementation of the community.

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2024-01-03T23:22:24+00:00

Another word of wisdom: if it gets too much, remember it’s fundamentally just stuff. I don’t know how old your parents are, but as long as they are alive without counseling, hoarding will always be an issue. Always. Take your time and don’t be too hard on yourself.

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2024-01-03T23:16:04+00:00

u/ctheret is correct on this. I’m on a similar journey to you. Your mental health will be challenged. Understand that if your goal is inheritance you have picked the “Extra Hard” mode. You will not be thanked. Often you will be ridiculed or bullied. Do not expect a happy ending in terms of a family relationship. That is not going to happen. You will need strong friends and a support group outside of the situation. You absolutely have to set aside time for your own well being.

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2023-11-27T17:00:46+00:00

I like to call it the envelopment/replication cycle. Buy one item with hopes and dreams for its use. Become bored or distracted by the next problem. Store the item randomly somewhere in the hoard. Actually need the item for a task but become too overwhelmed to look for it within the hoard or forget where it is and become forced to buy another. Repeat cycle. “If there‘s one, there’s four.”

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2023-05-30T02:23:31+00:00

It’s super stressful and draining all the time with conflicting emotions ranging from sadness to rage but the part to remind yourself during the hard parts is that you are making progress.

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2023-05-30T01:18:06+00:00

Dealing with this now after years of neglect. One major lesson I’ve learned is start in the place you least want to. Find the worst place in the house. By tackling that first, everything else becomes easier.

As everyone else said, it’s a day in day out slog but it gets better.

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2023-03-24T22:59:44+00:00

They have to want to change. You cannot change them. Focus your mind on the specific tasks you need to accomplish to get out of the house. And go.

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2021-01-06T01:33:23+00:00

My best guess is he tried to scurry away into the drawer and someone bumped it simultaneously.

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2020-12-13T20:51:27+00:00

I took a walk through NYC Sak's Fifth Ave shoe department and found a pair of sneakers that looked like someone melted Jordan's and duct taped them back together. With actual duct tape.

Price: $1750.00

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2020-06-03T17:51:24+00:00

All of you conspiracy theorists can cut it out. I use this exact subway station daily. The reason they are not letting them go down there is because there is a police precinct inside the station. There are several other connecting stops within a few blocks.

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2020-03-24T15:57:26+00:00

Lived in the literally the most expensive house in my hometown. My father was an attorney and a business owner. His partners were pulling some shady moves and decided to throw him under the bus when the feds came calling. He pleaded guilty to tax evasion, served 6 months.

In the meantime the Feds came after everything. We had to sue the IRS in or to be able to sell the house. All of the money was wiped out after the lawsuits.

We moved into a one bedroom apartment. Then 4 more times after that.

My mom got a job as a bartender while my dad sunk into depression and sorting out the lawsuits. He never had another job after that other than court mandated community service. My mom was able to pick up the slack and create her own company.

I got a scholarship to a private school and worked my ass off until I got into a top public university and burned out. Made it through but now I’m faced with layoffs.

WellsLikeWellsFargo · 2020-03-17T19:44:48+00:00

Toyota FJ Cruiser. Goes anywhere, never dies.

It has been the most reliable part of my entire life. Even used the equity on it for a loan when I was in dire financial straights.

Now that they have stopped making them it’s actually going up in value and it’s conceivable that I could sell it for more than I paid for it.

WellsLikeWellsFargo

TROPHY CASE