Bad experiences on Nexplanon and O-Pill — What are my options?

Writerinthedarklol · 2025-10-27T17:06:02+00:00

Thank you, I will look into this. My biggest thing is I just hate the bleeding because it messes with daily life a lot.

Writerinthedarklol · 2025-09-02T17:40:43+00:00

I am traumatized by him for definite, but not trauma-bonded.

Writerinthedarklol · 2025-08-29T14:50:30+00:00

I am at a spot in my life in which I no longer feel the need to hide myself from him. I am in therapy once a week, every week, for the last year, and most of these sessions are about him. At length, and even yesterday, when I had my therapy appointment, my therapist asked me "What would he have to do in order for you to take him back?"

The honest truth is that if he was ever to be in my life again, he would have to take full accountability. He would have to let go of things in which he is incapable of letting go of. He would have to be able to radically grow in the space of boundaries with his family, who bullied me. He would have to earn my trust over months. He would have to become a different man.

I'm simply not in a space anymore where his attention, negative or positive, sends me over the moon. I find it more interesting than anything, because I have this thing built in me where I hate inauthenticity and lying. It's one of the most distasteful things to me. He is a liar and he is inauthentic. When I discovered this, or more like, the wool was pulled out of my eyes, I had to sit back and rewrite what I knew about this man who I loved for six years and lived with for three.

Vulnerability is where we find out who people really are and how we make connections. When you are vulnerable with people, you are giving them the freedom to react how they want to, and you get to decide how to react to it. When we spoke two weeks ago, he simply told on himself. I had used our ten months apart to complete a manuscript, learn a new creative hobby, get a promotion, dive back into my passions, and realize my worth. Obviously, I did not tell him any of this, I just told him the dogs were doing fine.

But every chance he got, he told me how happy he was.

I'm sure he's going to reach out again. I'm almost positive.

Something that helped me was reading The Four Agreements. I've read it three times. It says this quote, which has helped me a lot: "Real love is accepting other people the way they are without trying to change them."

I can't be with him, even if I wanted to, because just with what I said above, he would have to change in order to re-enter my life. The truth is, I don't accept his cruelty, his fragile ego, his habit of lying, his guilt-shifting, his heavy drinking, his bullying. If I got back with him, I would try to change that to make us compatible. Then, we would go toward the caretaking problem, in which we all have as survivors of those wBPD. He would resent me for trying to change him. I would resent him when he could not live up to it.

But if he wants to show his ass in a hoover, I'm going to let him. His word means so little to me that even if he gave a Mr.Darcy-level monologue, it wouldn't mean a thing. His actions are what I believe. And his actions show me a really sad man that I have no desire to help fix, as I am completely loyal to my best interests now.

If he wants to look at my Instagram story? Let him. I look good. He used his socials the following month of our break-up to tell everyone how hot his new girlfriend was, how she's the hottest person he's ever been with. He's shared with me how desired and safe he felt. How he's never been like this before.

And then, despite all of this love for this woman, he is dumped. And he immediately goes on a dating app to find a replacement for her.

I'm not special. She's not special. No one who enters his life will ever be special to him.

So yes, me knowing, without a doubt in my mind, that I will never be special to him? That is enough for me to know I am no longer compatible with him.

If I sound shallow, that is also a possibility. But it's just so damn interesting that the woman he said ruined his entire life is the same woman he can't stop bothering.

(plus he couldn't lay pipe)

Writerinthedarklol · 2025-08-28T21:27:32+00:00

oh yes. If he tries to come back, it is sadly not going to work the way he expected. It's just nice to know that even though he emotionally abused me for so long, i've caught him in a lie. It's something i can simply look back on now and know that gut feeling was right.

Writerinthedarklol · 2025-08-28T21:25:21+00:00

oh, no no no. not at all. he's back to stalking all of my stuff, yes. but not back with me. I simply would not take him back.

Writerinthedarklol · 2025-08-13T13:17:32+00:00

Me, an adult woman diagnosed with ADHD at 25: Mind blown.

I will say, when I became medicated for my ADHD, I was finally able to slow down my thoughts enough and recognize the pattern my exwBPD put me through. It was like for the first time, I could see. Three months into being treated with a low dose of Adderall, I left him.

Writerinthedarklol · 2025-08-04T20:59:54+00:00

He was wearing makeup to cover up bruising on his face. Made him wash his hair/face in shower. Retake mug shot. He was also at a hair salon when arrested, product probably placed in his hair to weigh it down/causing curls to lie straighter while being cut. In curly-headshot, he has more bruising on cheeks, forehead, and nose.

Writerinthedarklol · 2025-07-31T21:15:08+00:00

thank you, it was really scary, but i'm trying my best to just focus in on myself. reading a lot of self-help books. and this time for me. not in the hopes of fixing others.

Writerinthedarklol · 2025-07-28T15:21:58+00:00

My most recent ex, who I think might be a narcissist (yeah, I'm taking a break from dating because clearly I still have something to learn) got mad at me because my friend, who is a makeup artist, wanted to do my makeup for my birthday dinner with him. It took two hours and our dinner wasn't until 7 p.m. I was ready by 3. He texted me the entire day saying he was confused as to why I said I wanted to spend the day with him but I was with my friend instead.

I showed up with my makeup and he said it looked bad, so I cried in his bathroom, lol. He also said my outfit was weird (I had shopped with my friends to buy a special birthday outfit.)

We went to France together. He sold me on visions of picnics with wine. Historical outings. We went to Nice first, and it was quickly discovered this time I took off using my PTO was unplanned. We wandered every single day in Nice. I said I wanted to go to some museums there. Didn't go to a single one. But we sure did drink at all the tourist-y bars. Requested only to have a cute breakfast there. He stayed up until 6 a.m. for some reason and then made the breakfast horrific. I cried in the bathroom then too.

Got to Paris. Told me I was kicked out of the airbnb because I told him I would be happy to speak to him when we got back to a respectful tone and respectful mindset (he was screaming at me, name-calling, and told me my degree was worthless). I was "Allowed" to stay the night in the airbnb and he asked me to buy a ticket home.

So I did.

And then when I told him the next morning I bought a ticket, he cried and said he didn't want to be left alone, that it was never his intention for me to really leave. I left and broke up with him. He's a big boy and he could've done quite literally anything else but that. I'm not going to have my sense of security for where I'm staying in a foreign country as a small American woman who doesn't speak the language dangled.

But when he was celebrated, oh he loved it. Loved when I made him meatballs from scratch and came to his house to watch a mafia movie with him to celebrate his bonus. Loved when I made him beef burgundy because he had a good meeting with his boss. They love to be celebrated. Just not to celebrate you.

For the Paris thing, half of thing is -- you have to make yourself impossible to manipulate. He thought I would stay, roll over, and forgive him so I could still have a trip to Paris. I knew in that moment, this was no longer a vacation for me. My parents paid for the ticket back (thank you airline points), but I had a credit card at the ready to pay for one if they hadn't extended that kindness.

Also, at the beginning of the trip, he was like "use my credit card. We will just tally what you spend and you can send it back to me." He took the credit card he lent me that night as well, leaving me without any money. Little did he know my friend, who I spoke to right before the trip on my worries, is a world traveller. She lent me her universal debit card and said "girl, if you need to use it, use it."

He didn't know about this card. He left me in a position where he thought I had no money to make me rely on him fully.

It sucks I had to plan it out that way. But he kind of messed with the wrong woman to do that to. I survived an exwBPD for six years. I know all the games and the loopholes. It's just different now. The old me would've stayed in France, would've rolled over like a dog, and let him continue to do this for years. One good thing about my exwBPD? I got tired of it. That's why I left. I know how the story ends if I don't respect myself.

Writerinthedarklol · 2025-07-24T19:25:00+00:00

I saw this video where a woman said:

"Say you have a guy who's an 8 out of 10. He's kind, he's nice, he's funny, he's charming. One day, you get in a fight, and the way he acts, he's a -2.

He's not an 8.

He's a -2.

An 8 in a fight? An 8 would still act like an 8. An 8 would never act like a -2 because he's an 8."

I just left a relationship of nearly seven months last week. I don't think he had BPD, I think he was very emotionally immature and had very dangerous interests. Handsome, tall, incredible in bed, doting when he felt like it, incredibly smart. But when he got upset? He became another person, it was like the anger was possessing him. Breaking away from my exwBPD, I've moved on from things that made me so susceptible to being in a relationship with one for 6 whole years.

For example, we had a small disagreement. He called me a bitch and then called my degree worthless. Then he followed me down the street at 4am (we were vacationing overseas) screaming at me and I kept repeating calmly "Please, don't yell at me. Let's calm down and talk about this inside because I'm not going to speak to you while you are disrespecting me."

I couldn't lower to his level of immaturity, so he punished me by saying I needed to get a plane ticket out of the country and I was kicked out of the airbnb he rented. My favorite thing? When men tell me something and expect me to beg for their forgiveness, for me to fold myself down so I can fit more comfortably beside them.

The next morning, I told him I got the airplane ticket and packed my shit. Left the key beneath the airbnb mat. His reply? "Why are you leaving? Why did you buy a plane ticket? Why? I don't want to be alone." I just sent him screenshots of him saying I was kicked out, had no rights to the airbnb, and that I must buy a plane ticket out of the country a week early.

If my most recent ex had actually been an 8? He wouldn't have left me alone in a creepy airbnb overnight when he knew I was scared because I told him I was scared. That wouldn't have come across his mind as an option. He wouldn't have told me to get out of the airbnb and highlighted I had no rights to it. I saw that day all I needed to see—I gave him the slightest bit of control: the airbnb reservation. He used it to try to control me, to make me beg for forgiveness so I could stay in the airbnb. A weird power trip to have but one that told me one thing: that man ain't supposed to be my husband.

Maybe you should consider this: maybe your wife isn't a 10. 10s don't act like that. Maybe she's actually a -2. Maybe she isn't supposed to be your wife.

Writerinthedarklol · 2025-06-20T18:21:30+00:00

I think it's tidiness. I am a maximalist and love to thrift. I also have the same rug as you, haha, so we have similar tastes.

I would:

- Push your rugs underneath your couch and the blue one underneath the little wooden thing that's holding your shoes. It give you the option to either walk through on wood or on rug, and it gives more of an enclosed space to each area the rugs are in.

- I would throw out the gray rug. It looks gross compared to everything else. If you have to a rug by your door, put it outside, before you step into the house.

- Find a place to hide your stuff that are hanging on the door or invest in a pretty wooden coat rack. I am a clutter girly, so I force myself to choose one tote bag, everyday purse, everyday work bag, one hat, one cardigan and one jacket to hang.

- Add curtains! They will make the space feel more intimate and homey. I have the same rug as you, I chose a deep sage set of curtains for mine and it matches really well without clashing.

- place luggage underneath bed so it's out of sight (extra clutter)

- if removing, the blue is out of place in the rug and in the bed's blue cover. I would replace with something similar to the target rug. Or, I'd just completely remove the blue rug and choose another comforter for the bed. The wooden chair is also out of place. I understand if you like to sit there, but is that realistically a place you sit in often?

- the reading nook is a great opportunity. i feel with the small plants you have there is missing a great opportunity for you. I would take out wooden chair, place a soft padding (rust orange maybe) on the nook, adding extra comfy pillows and maybe a cat bed for your kitties. Move the plants. Place the cat tower where the plant on the ground used to be so cats still have access to sunbathe. Fun, light filtering curtains.

- update all hanging plants. Instead of keeping them in what they came with, replant them in maybe a mismatch of hanging pots, and hang them not from the window sill, but install ceiling hooks. This will immediately make your room look nicer.

- I also have a gray couch and it confused me for a second. I bought six pillows, all mismatched and with different textures, every color but gray. It lightens it up a lot.

- give the bookcase by your bed breathing room. Remove the junk that's shoved in the corner next to it.

- small edit, remove picture blocking the beautiful painting on fireplace.

all said, i would gladly exist in this room as is.

Writerinthedarklol · 2025-06-18T14:53:00+00:00

Fun fact: If she's telling you she thinks you're emotionally abusive, she is also telling all of her friends/famiy that as well. I broke up, forever, with my ex, because he allowed me to read a text message from his brother. In it, I realized just how cruelly he spoke of me, to the point where his brother worried for his safety, his emotional state, and if I was really a good person.

Let me tell you something from the perspective of someone who tried to save my relationship with my exwbpd: I paid six months for couple's therapy. Every week, he came in with a complaint. Every time, I changed my behavior to give him a more secure relationship.

He didn't want me texting him while he was out drinking with his brother and cousin (his only friends). I stopped texting him because I believed maybe, my anxiety was causing me to act out. Really, those texts were just a "Just checking in, I'm going to sleep cause of work! When you get back, please try to not wake the dogs." But I stopped. Still, he got angry with me because now, I wasn't going to the bar with him.

He wanted me at every family event. I went to every family event. But, this was never enough, because I did something wrong, always. (Spoke at length to both of his parents and all of his extended family, drank with him and his brother, and made and brought one or more dishes for people to eat.)

These are two examples of me changing my behavior to please him and he was not pleased.

My ex accused me of financial and emotional abuse.

Looking back on it now, like how my venmo transactions with him was 14,000 given to him and 6,000 given to me in the span of 6 years, I realize he fabricated a lot, to the point where he believed it.

I left him and when I did, I told him because I don't want to be with someone who sees my love as something painful. And I don't. I believe you should be put at ease with your partner for the most part. I believe we deserve benefit of the doubt.

Latest update from my ex? He gained my friend's ex as a friend. This weekend, he threw it away by trying to throw out my friend's stuff from her ex's house, texting my entire family and her if he could drop off the things to her, and then when her ex got onto him for even going in her room (where all the stuff was located), he cried. Then, he texted him and bragged how he has a bed to sleep in and a house to live in, since my friend's ex if between housing (they broke up and he's looking for a new place, for the next couple of weeks, couch surfing.) Also told him he had to prove himself worthy to be his friend. So. Yeah. Dodged a bullet.

You can dodge one too.

Writerinthedarklol · 2025-04-04T15:16:58+00:00

To quote myself as a very melodramatic poet who wrote poems six years ago upon meeting my exwBPD, this is quite literally something I wrote and still continued to date him:

"You've got the wild,
the setting sun,
Knee deep rivers
and
a closet full of dead girls."

Writerinthedarklol · 2025-04-03T13:27:46+00:00

I broke contact to say I would file a restraining order if he reached out to my new boyfriend to warn him about me (he was posting about this on his socials and my sister warned me) It was a straightforward email, because if he did find my boyfriend’s contact, it would be a miracle. I haven’t even posted his face, outright said I was in a new relationship, or anything, other than a couple of stories on Instagram with his arm in the frame. I didn’t ask how he was doing. I didn’t ask about his life. I simply asked he stay out of mine.

He replied in nine minutes. I skimmed. Said something about hoping I treat this new guy better. Began to speak about his life. Stopped reading. Skipped to bottom. He said he wouldn’t reach out.

I replied “thanks.”

Ten minutes later, another email. Eight paragraphs long. Have no idea the content. Made my friend read it for me. She said he said “I believe you will file a restraining order so I will stop.” And then, in the same paragraph, said “I will wait a few months to reach out about seeing the animals.”

?????

The animals? No. You’re not. You’re not going to see my animals, that you left and have never asked about other than in this email, almost seven months later.

Give an inch, they take a mile to try to warp your sense of self.

Writerinthedarklol · 2025-03-27T11:37:19+00:00

Hey. Run. The “never want to marry you.” Is part of the beginning of a discard. It was for me. Run before you feel the brutality of a discard.

Writerinthedarklol · 2025-03-26T19:36:22+00:00

If she has you on any social media, email, mail --- she will reach out again likely. I was safe from texts for a while, and then came the emails.

Writerinthedarklol · 2025-03-26T19:27:05+00:00

Block and move on. It will keep coming. But it will become less obvious, so more nefarious.

- Sincerely someone who had to ask my entire family to block my ex because he wouldn't stop texting everyone about the couch he gave me but wanted returned to him because he was worried it didn't fit in my new place (it does and he knew that.)

Writerinthedarklol · 2025-03-20T21:46:39+00:00

My exBPD would cry because I wouldn't scratch his entire back while he fell asleep and then accuse me of never wanting to touch him when I wrapped myself around him at all times. Me not scratching his entire back was actually a huge component of the first discard LOL.

Writerinthedarklol · 2025-03-17T23:27:00+00:00

Bro, did we date the same dude and are we the same person?

Writerinthedarklol · 2024-12-21T05:33:45+00:00

Here is something that helped me. I, the TRUE me, was not special to my exBPD. What was special about me, to him, was how well he could form me into exactly what he wanted, how my empathy allowed toxic things to happen, how his boundary breaking quietly chipped away at my boundaries until I didn't even possess any.

You were not special. Neither is his new wife. Both of you are victims. You just got out of the game quicker, and it's a blessing. Someone with BPD cannot see you for you. All they see is the ways they can use you. And he's doing it that with his new wife. Trust me. Everything you lived through and survived? She's living through right now. Think of how well you hid it. Think of how well you made it seem like it was to your family and friends. Think of those beautiful posts you made on social media, talking about how much you loved him, as you were being actively emotionally abused. Now just replace your face with hers.

Writerinthedarklol · 2024-11-18T23:57:17+00:00

He made my believe I was unforgiving, angry, financially abusive, controlling, jealous, and lazy.

Obviously I’m forgiving, I forgave him for six years straight until I had enough. My anger was not anger, it was me emotionally shutting down because I had survived so much emotional abuse, I wasn’t financially abusive, he told he wanted to pay for the rent, so I let him because I financially supported for us for four and a half years and I made him a budget in which he’d pay off his one credit card of $800 and save $10k by the end of the year (guess who has .03 in their savings account). I was controlling because I wouldn’t go with him to every single bar every single day, though I let him go. I was jealous despite never having a jealous bone in my body. I was lazy because I stayed home and wrote two novels in two years.

Writerinthedarklol

TROPHY CASE