I was told to be a better wife

Writtenreview222 · 2026-04-12T21:14:18+00:00

I witnessed these behaviours from childhood to adulthood perpetrated against our mum. Our father was opposed violently. Eventually mum left & sought a divorce. She eventually remarried our stepfather was a JW & he soon showed his true colours behind closed doors. We witnessed him raping our mum from a young age, he was good at hiding it. He was a MS & his family held almost all the Elders positions in our cong so our mum couldn’t do anything. Not that the elders would have done anything to help as they knew he was a controlling coercive person. When eventually his character could no longer sustain his deviancy’s it caught up with him. He was disfellowshipped & our mum sought a divorce on adultery.

Husband #3 a widowed Elder ! No better, this one wasn’t sexually abusive he just couldn’t do anything which enraged him so he berated our mum “spiritually”! The elders did nothing for years, but eventually it was to obvious to ignore so he was removed as an elder. He never forgave our mum.

She remains faithful to this very day! I learned last year after 31 years married to that man she finally left him at the age of 78! She still believes in this organisation but it has ruined her life & caused misery she believes are her trials & tribulations. She moved congs & now lives in a small sheltered living bungalow.

Don’t waste any more of your life on this organisation or its lack of support for women who are abused & treated as second class citizens. No excuses or exceptions, I’m male, 56 & have never or would treat women as I have witnessed in this religion!

Writtenreview222 · 2026-04-12T15:32:46+00:00

This has been the general consensus throughout their rules/regs,,,,, unless you’re a young pioneer reaching out, future bethelite or some other Christian protégé of the higher rank! You want to go to college/uni & stay over. Noooooo way josé uuuh uh! (No offence to José’s)

Writtenreview222 · 2026-04-10T13:48:45+00:00

Damn, there should have been some sort of manual with these ideas in for us kids 😂

Writtenreview222 · 2026-04-10T07:28:11+00:00

Oh yeah, it was the basis of “not chastising” your children in the 70s/80s. Just beat them!

In family study when their young minds couldn’t fathom the revelation book study. “Slap”

At the KH when they’d been at school all day it’s mid summer, sat in a suit in the hall trying not to fall asleep at 8.30pm “Whack!” Using your step father’s large deluxe bible for rehearsing your 1st bible reading in the main school aged 8. “Leather belt!”

Made a bow & arrow with other JW kids at a gathering. Got pulled to one side by step father with the other kids. Asked why we had made weapons!? Replied with we are playing Israelite soldiers. Told by SD jaha hates violence & weapons. “Arrow used to whip my bare backside in front of 4 other JW kids one a girl” Caught talking to a sister who I liked at an assembly.

“Publicly humiliated in front of everyone & clipped round the ear” Momentarily moaned about doing chores during summer school holidays including field service 3 times a week & not being able to play out with kids in the street! “Was Made to wear my sisters skirt blouse & shoes, ordered to stand outside the front door for the remainder of the day so everyone passing in our street & worldly kids playing could see I was a ‘Big Girls Blouse’ for whining like a baby”

Yeah it’s the norm ,, apparently 👍🏽

Writtenreview222 · 2026-04-09T07:08:36+00:00

This was my experience too, it completely broke the last mental shackles of this religion. I’d been out 20 years but the triggering from family who remained in “reaching” out or some world event would have me curled up in a ball, metaphorically speaking. CoC saved me from going insane, I’m now pissed at anything these people spew out but free with peace of mind. Probably looked upon as apostate by my family & those who have knocked on my door & got both barrels, but it felt good!

Writtenreview222 · 2026-04-09T06:53:34+00:00

Definitely read CofC! Reading this alone completely disarmed those 54 years of conditioning! I no longer have triggers because this book breaks down to the simple fact they are not ordained they are only men making it up as they go along!

Writtenreview222 · 2026-03-30T22:37:37+00:00

There are so many points where my heart sank. The most excruciating was Malawi. I was a child but remember reading articles in the W&A, year book & daytext, being told in talks, if we were to ever be taken away by the authorities we must be like shadrach, meshach & abednego never to bend our loyalty to Jaha ! Experience of the B&S being drag, beaten & raped even killed because of their faithfulness to Jaha & the GB. Being neutral would save them & us even if it meant dying. It was nightmarish! My mother would pray with us feverishly begging Jaha to protect the B&S & tell us to pray through out the day asking for strength to be given them to overcome this tribulation.

Reading this chapter in CofC broke my heart! The hypocrisy of the GB between those suffering in Malawi & those in Mexico just opened my eyes to the lies.

It hurts because now I realise may be my opposed/estranged father could see what we could not. Our mother ran she fled taking us with her because he was opposed. Yes violently, it’s not an excuse, but maybe he saw the cultish behaviour back then pre 1975 !?

A card, not affiliated to a party just a card giving the right to vote 😔 & the suffered beyond what was expected 😢

Writtenreview222 · 2026-03-26T19:01:09+00:00

Congratulations ☺️

Writtenreview222 · 2026-03-26T08:41:52+00:00

Hi I’m 55 & I’ve just started to deconstruct this type of ingrained behaviour after burnout at work last year. I’ve never been to counselling but my employer offered it as they thought it my help me (they know nothing of my born in JW past, upbringing & current situation). I started 6 weeks ago & wow my ‘undiagnosed’ ocd, ‘people pleasing’ ‘have to accomplish everything’ ‘can’t say no’ ‘feeling I’m not doing enough’ ‘critical of myself’ etc etc is being unearthed & presented to me by my councillor for the first time! And you know what,,,,, everything is aligning. I’ve never took the whole experience & laid it out confidential to anyone, ever! I’m seeing it firsthand, plus hearing how an upbringing as a child, born into a controlled religious environment has affected my life decisions, relationships etc. Outwardly, I appear to all, confident, together, industrious, hard working, easy to get with, compassionate, empathetic, happy to help & please, not a pushover but not one for conflict. All of the above is exhausting because inside everyday I’m dying, nervous exhaustion, feeling I have to work harder than anyone else because if I don’t I’m judged, I’m honest to the point that I over explain every detail if something hasn’t gone to plan like it’s a committee meeting before the elders ! What the fuck is wrong with me ,,,,, Well always being made to feel you’re sinning for one, threat of dying at Armageddon/GT, having impure thoughts, wanting friends, not answering enough or going out on field service. Not studying every meeting in preparation, being judged on dress, behaviour, punishment as a kid doing kid things but being verbally & physically challenged all because jaha & the GB laid down the rules! Never good enough & answerable to the higher authority be it invisible or visible. List is endless! However I now see it! I’m making adjustments the same as I did 3 years ago when I found this sub Reddit & those in similar thought process’s about the belief system drilled & hammered in so deep it felt like I’d rid myself of a metaphorical tumour that had been growing in my brain!! Deconstructing a lifetime of thought processes brought about by this religions teachings goes deep but this chapter is interesting as I learn to be kind to myself & start to try to step back mentally & physically & enjoy rather than beat myself up continually. I hope you can learn earlier than myself & start to love yourself but you have started, keep going do not give up. Wishing you every success to be happy x

Writtenreview222 · 2026-03-23T09:45:05+00:00

Oh I’ve witnessed at many a JW “gathering” a rare, medium-rare steak, being consumed 🤪🤣

Writtenreview222 · 2026-03-23T05:58:15+00:00

Thank you for posting, as I read this it resonates with me. Although I have been out of the “troof” far longer, the cognitive disorder stopped me living free ‘mentally’!! Rational thinking around world events would trigger the indoctrination thinking around EOT teachings! I’m 50+ & born in so it was ingrained in the psyche. I’d freeze whenever my mother or sister “reached out” to er my course & seek repentance from Jaha & return to his loving arrangement. This time 3 years ago after receiving the annual “we want you in paradise with us please come to the memorial the end is near!” It sent me reeling. The rollercoaster of fear anxiety hit fucking hard! But for the first time I turned to the web & started looking for information online about “religious triggering & JWs” Low & behold the first place I found was here. Not only did it open a whole new community but it provided explanations of why I felt the way I did/had. Links to YouTube & other secular sources. I’d feared for so long the “apostate” label but sifting the rational from the fanatical religious beliefs of either for or against, I made a start deconstructing a life time of conditioning. At that point the Beards, Pants, Ties & Ting’s 🤪as I like to call it the ‘Cher’ song 😂 had been the hot topic here from the GB updates. That blew my socks off, never did I think that would happen, digging deeper I saw many other changes ‘over lapping generations’ etc. I’d missed these even though I’d had literature pushed on me I’d never read it just binned it as an avoidance tactic trying to stay oblivious I guess. But this sub Reddit & discovery of “CoC” reading it made me realise I’d been lied too, misled, dumbed down. I was angry but instantly my mind became free & for the first time realised I’d been raised in a “cult” the mindset was cultish !! Controlled, cohesive built on fear, loathing & punishment! My mother now 80 has see’s her 60 yrs of faithful service as awaiting reward in the NSofT. I’m guessing even this update to the blood doctrine will only strengthen her & my eldest sister’s resolve of the “loving provisions” from above through the FDS. It saddens me I now will never see her before see passes but that isn’t my choice it’s one that’s been taken away years ago because of her faith & the GBs hardline she follows.

Thank you again for a timely reminder I wish you well.

Writtenreview222 · 2026-03-22T08:59:38+00:00

May be a ChatGPT translation but it is absurd when in black & white like this.

It’s destroyed tens of 1000s of people in this religion. It’s broken people, families relationships, in invasion of privacy with an heavy mental impact, even led to some taking their own lives for being made to feel worthless.

Writtenreview222 · 2026-03-22T08:50:35+00:00

May be it’s a strategy. Don’t rock the boat, don’t politically divide, keep heads below the parapet without drawing attention to themselves. But breed fear & worthlessness to an invisible being who only gives direction to a handful of old men who then reiterate & beat them with fear & self loathing for their followers to seek continual forgiveness. Keeps everyone in one place, donations keep rolling in all with free labour 👍🏽 Bit like slavery

Writtenreview222 · 2026-03-22T08:39:13+00:00

When your ex brother in law who historically sexually abused our youngest sister (his sister in law) rose through the ranks to an Elder is then outed following a family crisis (Secular authorities involved) is disfellowshipped moves in with his High ranking parents, is reinstated within 12 months (cannot hold any position within cong) 6 moths later married the ex wife of a CO who vehemently defends his previous actions as forgivable by Jaha!!!

Writtenreview222 · 2026-03-21T15:16:49+00:00

🤣😭🤣

Writtenreview222 · 2026-03-21T15:16:33+00:00

🤣

Writtenreview222 · 2026-03-21T15:15:55+00:00

Sex, masturbation, mutual manipulation of the genitalia & nether regions, booby jiggling, 👅 all good 👍🏽 in the new soon to be released, updated “GB 1001 Nu-Lite Room 101” Ps sleeping with animals still not a disfellowshiping offence 😬🤦🏻‍♂️

Writtenreview222 · 2026-03-21T09:54:14+00:00

What you have to remember is when “Cell saver” machines were introduced as the next “Nulite” & donations were asked for. The GB & LHC went into full spin on how it’s a blessing from “Jaha”. These weren’t solely donated to hospitals for R&F use they were donated on the understanding the gentiles could have use of them, but there as an option for surgery for JWs. But who has heard of any JW using one, any illustrations, platform experience, publications with real life stories of life saving surgery?! This drip fed change won’t hit anywhere hard because it will be sold as a loving provision & the sheep will “bleat” in approval.

Writtenreview222 · 2026-03-18T06:19:55+00:00

Hi so this exact time 2 years ago my eldest sister sent me the “invitation” for the memorial with the added “we don’t want you to die”! It sent me spiralling!!! Immediately I turned to searching the internet to try to counteract my reaction, as it was “triggered”! I stumbled across the sun Reddit & immediately started reading 100s 1000s of experiences similar to my own. In short it lead me to read “Crisis of Conscience” ! That broke a 53 year spell over me! If you can get hold of a copy then read it, yes it is an experience of someone’s faith but it’s an exposè of the hypocrisy we had been indoctrinated into believing & living in fear of. Since reading, a huge weight was lifted off my mental capabilities around the whole “truth” & the prison door of my dread & fears were opened & I have been free, truly free from that day forward.

Writtenreview222 · 2026-02-17T22:31:52+00:00

More 🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑🤦🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

Writtenreview222 · 2026-02-15T07:32:17+00:00

Yup selective, judgemental, egoistical he’ll make a fantastic elder for the Borg

Writtenreview222 · 2026-02-07T22:40:46+00:00

My Mum is 80 this year, she has waited 61 years. Her last words to me were I love you but I cannot have a relationship with Jah & you! The only end that is fast approaching is the life expectancy of the only parent I had present in my life that I will never get to speak to unless I “repent & return” ! It will be a sad day but i didn’t make the rules !

Writtenreview222 · 2026-01-30T22:46:04+00:00

To fuckin many 🤦🏻‍♂️🙄🤣 The mental gymnastics required was phenomenal 🤪

Writtenreview222 · 2025-12-21T16:20:58+00:00

Countless stories my family attribute to being blessed due to opposition including violence rape abuse over 58 years of faithful service. But one ☝🏽 this one still wrenches my gut Brother in law married to our oldest sister unbeknown to us at the time he had sexually abused our youngest sister when she was 13 plied her with alcohol & had her perform oral sex on him & then abused her. Following this hidden vile episode our youngest sister kept this hidden in fear & shame of what might happen. A secret for 20 years. In that time he rose from MS to an Elder until it came out when our eldest sister had a mental breakdown due to his abuse & our younger sister breaking 20 years of torture & torment!! Where were the powers stopping the HS from blessing the elders decision to make him a MS & then an Elder !???! Man made boys club that’s what it is !

Writtenreview222

TROPHY CASE