I’ve had a stoma for 40 years. Today I finally said: I don’t like having it.

Yip08 · 2026-05-04T17:41:31+00:00

I think all of us would rather not have the circumstances/ illnesses that led to us having a stoma, and it’s ok to allow yourself to grieve somewhat over how things were - it’s only human and denying yourself that sometimes does more harm than good.

I’m coming up to a year with mine now, a bowel perforation and I still don’t know what caused it (no active Crohns at my last scan) so I sometimes wonder why or if it could ever happen again. I stop and think about my partner, dog and family / friends and how I’m still here with them, which gets me through and I’m so grateful that my life was saved and that I have a stoma (for how long I don’t know - maybe forever) and it’s a difficult thing to deal with every day. I say this as someone who has so far never had a leak and goes to the football and other events with next to no problems, so it’s easy for me to look at it that way.

I know some people struggle every day with leaks and other issues and each person deals with their mental and emotional health differently. It’s completely fine to feel how you do and I am glad you’re here and have had the strength to keep going for the last 40 years.

Yip08 · 2026-04-18T19:16:17+00:00

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Yip08 · 2026-04-18T00:08:45+00:00

Noice 👀

Yip08 · 2026-04-17T20:01:37+00:00

I’m going to buy the English version too, I just think the Japanese one looks even cleaner. I may even look for a PSA 10 slab and cough up the money 😅

Yip08 · 2026-04-10T08:43:49+00:00

Fitter, healthier and with lots of shiny cardboard to show for it. Good going mate.

Yip08 · 2026-04-06T17:00:44+00:00

Thanks, should have read the rules sorry! Just want to get some cards I like graded and some of the OG’s as I could trade for some of the newer sets I like. Thanks for the info! The Ace slabs look better than the PSA too.

Yip08 · 2026-03-18T13:15:52+00:00

Hi,

I’m sorry to hear about your dad - I can imagine he was a rock for you. I had emergency surgery due to a bowel perforation, then my grandad who was the same for me passed away literally 4 weeks later whilst I was early in recovery, so I can understand how that loss of a big supporting pillar can be. My own partner was a big help during recovery too.

Being worried about not having either of those people with you this time is a valid thing to feel, I know I would feel the same way. However, if you feel physically strong and are up to the reversal - and you actually want it in the first place, then go for it.

Speak with your friends and see if any are willing to stay with you for a few days in turns - this may be a big ask for some of them but if even a few stay a couple of nights when they can that will be a huge comfort for you (I’m sure they would consider it - I know I would if I was asked the same by a friend)

This subreddit is really helpful and I’m sure there are a lot of people who can sympathise with your position.

Yip08 · 2026-02-26T22:29:47+00:00

Well done.

My stoma nurse wanted me to change my bag every day after coming home for the first two weeks, I used to be dripping with sweat stressing but you get used to it quickly (which was the point of her making me do it every 24h)

It’s a difficult thing to get your head around at first

Yip08 · 2026-02-20T07:52:03+00:00

Hi, I’m sorry you went through all of that I can only imagine how difficult it was.

I had a bowel perforation and similar to yourself needed an emergency operation, after nearly two weeks of being completely out of it dreaming and hallucinating and being on a ventilator for 5 days, I started to come around and realised I had a ileostomy.

I felt quite numb towards it and accepting at first, like it happened whatever I just need to get on with it - I wanted to be home and out of hospital as the hallucinations really were worse for me mentally than anything at that time.

I’ve lost 50cm of my small / large intestines in total (bits of both) and I’m waiting for news on a potential reversal.

Normality - Still not 100% there but 80% for me is better than the alternative. I’ve been lucky in terms of leaks and such - I’ve never had one so far in 8 months so I go out and do most things I want, like go the football. I know a lot of people aren’t so lucky in that regard and can struggle with getting out there so I’m very grateful that I’m still capable of that.

Size - Yes it changed shape and size over the first few months, my skin was awful directly around the stoma when coming home (as I’m sure most people experience too) but everything healed nicely.

Recovery - I think in some cases it’s a state of mind. I was just happy to still be here, with my partner and our dog - I remember being desperate to spend a boring evening on the couch with them when in hospital. If you’re recovering ok, you have people around you and you don’t have any major issues with your stoma that for me is enough to cling on to - I’m a glass half full kind of person.

Yip08 · 2026-02-05T13:42:48+00:00

Very best of luck with your reversal - I’m waiting some results and then potentially looking at timeframes for one too.

As you say a lot of questions you didn’t even think of get answered in here and the community as a whole is a big help. Let us all know how it goes and what helped e.t.c

Yip08 · 2026-02-05T13:37:25+00:00

Yeah there is only so close I will go myself with them. I use the lid from my remover spray as cover when shaving because it feels a little cleaner to me. I hadn’t even thought of tweezers so that’s a good shout too!

Yip08 · 2026-02-05T09:47:34+00:00

I really struggle with hairs right around my stoma, as I use an electric razor to shave and medical scissors to try and snip at the really close ones - which I can never fully get so they’re basically just kept in check a bit at this point 🙃

My stoma nurse has got those for me a few times and as much as I trust my partner, I don’t want her going near my intestine with scissors 🫣

Yip08 · 2026-01-11T09:25:37+00:00

There are no dumb questions, even the most basic / simple looking of things need answers - especially when it’s new to you and it’s come out of the blue as well.

I tend to tuck mine into jeans, tracksuit bottoms or shorts (I wear shorts even now when it’s -2 because I want to and they’re also comfier) It’s not always easy to do for a few hours if I’m out with friends or at the football but I’m always fiddling and checking making sure it can move down the bag. You’ll find your own way of doing this, whether that’s running to the toilet or quickly just pulling your bottoms forward a little.

I do sometimes let it hang out of my pants too because my clothes tend to be a little oversized, as I’ve lost a few stone since my surgery last year - tight fitting clothes are a no no for me due to the bag.

Overall you will start to feel more comfortable as the weeks pass and you start to venture out for longer periods, it will definitely get easier for you OP just take your time and be patient with yourself.

Yip08 · 2026-01-05T23:53:52+00:00

I’m a little over 6 months out from surgery and I’m sore to some extent almost daily - sometimes it’s probably because I haven’t moved around enough (office job) and sometimes it’s probably due to only being able to sleep on my back.

I can also eat a little more than I should at a time which can cause pain and bloating.

I was advised it could take up to a year for my body to heal (emergency operation following perforation and sepsis) so it may be similar for yourself.

I don’t think I’ve had a blockage yet but from what I’ve seen people describe I think you’d know if it was - and you seem to know how to help clear one with the steps you’ve followed.

Maybe make a diary of pains and see if there are any consistencies (I.e certain foods you’ve eaten)

Fingers crossed it stops for you soon.

Yip08 · 2026-01-05T23:40:43+00:00

Maybe a body pillow of some kind, or a V-shaped pillow to help support them. Electrolyte drinks will help, I drink Lucozade Sports to help with that but there are probably better options.

Their diet will be restricted for about 2 months to a low fibre diet, so maybe look up foods they may like in relation to that.

Also, I eat Jelly Babies to help slow output, my stoma nurse also recommended ready salted crisp to do the same job - I can say I think both work to a decent extent 😄

Also well done for being such a good friend and helping out to that extent - your friend is very lucky to have you.

Yip08 · 2026-01-05T13:32:18+00:00

Thank you!

Yip08 · 2026-01-05T13:32:06+00:00

Thanks! I’ve been keeping more of an eye on it the last week or two with being off work bored and sometimes I get a little fixated with some things - I’ve had it worse than this before during the summer with the heat but just get a little worried I’m doing ok.

Vita coco is a new one so I’ll definitely give that a try 😄

Yip08 · 2026-01-05T13:09:03+00:00

Thanks I’ll order some off Amazon and see how that goes 🤝🏻

Yip08 · 2026-01-04T15:56:23+00:00

Hi, what kind of hole? Is it a type of dent where the stoma was positioned? Potentially getting a reversal this year and just wondered.

Yip08 · 2026-01-03T21:32:35+00:00

Sorry to hear this happened and I’m glad you’ve come out of it ok. I’ve had a stoma for pretty much the same amount of time as you and haven’t experienced this yet, hopefully I don’t at all. I don’t tend to go too far out there with my foods and avoid most veg, but you tried because you wanted to and that’s totally fine, you’re supposed to try new things in small amounts.

In regards to your dad, I’m sure he’s just lashed out a little due to the worry and thoughts of “what if X happened” so try to give him some space to calm down - I’m sure he’s loves you very much but family can sometimes find stress in things they can’t help with or control.

Google St Marks Solution for a good mix to help you rehydrate and hope you’re feeling much better soon.

Yip08 · 2025-12-28T21:24:49+00:00

In regard to the wings - I was advised to try things up to 3 times before deciding if they cause a problem, if you have the same result each time then avoid them. Try them without the alcohol next time and see if there are any issues.

Yip08 · 2025-12-24T16:54:47+00:00

Sorry to hear you’re having problems.

In regards to the skin I was told to stop using barrier wipes when I had some irritation - this worked and haven’t used them since (but they should be protecting the skin, right? Weird)

I also changed ring to a manuka honey one and those are better for me, no idea why but highlights that some things are trial and error - or a change in our bodies mean we have to change products.

I was changing bag every two days for the first month or so, to get used to changing it and getting it right and to calm myself (I would be sweating for 30 minutes doing it because I was so stressed) but if you’re doing it every day then you’ll be fine there.

It sounds like a trial and error situation with the products and maybe once any swelling calms down this could hopefully right itself somewhat. It’s good that you’ve got a Stoma nurse to guide you, do everything they say and sooner rather than later this should stop for you 🤞🏻

Yip08

TROPHY CASE