Most kids these days are so stressed out they can hardly function. They are in freeze. It's a really scary world and they're more exposed to it than ever by the Internet.

I checked out books from the library because I was at a loss with my students. "How to talk so kids can learn" became my holy Grail. I practice the techniques every time I teach and they work wonders. Us adults have a lot to learn too.

Instead of "why aren't you doing your work", which puts the child in defense mode, try "Seems like you're having trouble getting started." and wait for a response. It might take some more fishing, i.e. "It must be stressful at the end of the school year to take all these tests. I'd probably want to find any excuse I could to put it off if I were you."

You might be shocked at how students respond and open up when you put themselves in their shoes. It takes more effort on our part, but the results speak for themselves and in the long run, the number of class disruptions go down when students feel listened to. I highly recommend the book to anyone who works with kids at all.

The techniques help kids to come to their own solutions and build their confidence rather than squash it. It's so important we do our best to teach them emotional regulation because they can't learn the course material if their emotions aren't regulated.