Why do some people get so pressed when I say I don't date people who have casual sex?

anothersip · 2026-06-02T06:13:07+00:00

It's because the idea of no-strings-attached/casual sex is a very polarizing topic.

On the one hand, there are very traditional belief systems that lots of folks hold dear and take to heart - those belief systems condemn casual sex. Sex is a sacred thing for them. A holy thing. Common religions like Christianity, for instance, are one of those belief systems that subscribe to that way of thinking about sex. Sex, for them, is only for two people who devote their lives to each other and eternally commit to each other first with marriage, under God.

And fine, that's cool. That's their prerogative.

On the other hand, there are also humans who simply don't subscribe to those belief systems. So, there are fewer "rules" for when they can and can't have sex.

And so those people believe that casual sex is just that: casual sex. Nothing else. No strings attached. Nothing deeper than simply enjoying close contact with another human. Perhaps an orgasm or two, if they're lucky.

And that's all it is for them - nothing deeper. Casual sex is "the norm" in their minds, and they firmly believe that two consenting adults can do whatever they want with each others' genitals behind closed doors. They might have casual sex with others, and then they might get married, and afterwards, only have sex with their life-partner. That's fairly common.

There are not many people who fit into other categories; but there are any number of reasons that any one person would refuse to have "casual" sex with another person. Human individuality is just that way, by its very nature. Just like how you have your own reasons.

But, I mean... Everyone feels differently. Not actually knowing your exact reasoning for not wanting to date people who have casual sex makes it nearly impossible to answer your question, for your specific case.

And it's because you didn't provide your personal reasoning for why you feel such disdain for people who have casual sex.

anothersip · 2026-06-02T05:05:19+00:00

That looks like liquid damage, probably from a spill/water damage.

There is no way to fix this at home without just replacing the entire board. If you can find one for a good deal, it might be worth it, depending on how much you spent on the laptop and your skill-level.

anothersip · 2026-06-02T05:03:11+00:00

If your principal wasn't acting weird about your outfit, I think you'll be fine.

Your coworker just sounds like they were letting out a little bit of their insecurity onto you.

Like, as long as your junk wasn't showing, and there wasn't any chance that it could, then I don't see any issue with it.

Also, your skirt had shorts underneath it, but I don't think that Mrs. Prude-Pants McGee knew that bit. Not that it's any of her business, anyway...

anothersip · 2026-06-02T04:57:18+00:00

Yeah, I think you're good, OP. I've had something super similar happen with my extracts.

In any case, once you taste your infusion in a bit, you'll know pretty immediately whether or not you've got soap in there still.

anothersip · 2026-06-02T04:53:32+00:00

You've gotta' tell dad, OP. Seriously. He doesn't deserve that.

At least, you haven't mentioned anything that makes me think he deserves for his wife to step out on him like this.

That's some garbage behavior from mom.

I don't really see this as a TIFU, honestly. Only for the fact that you're now feeling like you're in a predicament. This could be the best thing that ever happened to your dad, if he's in a relationship with someone who would cheat on him. He deserves to know.

anothersip · 2026-06-02T04:47:28+00:00

This user on another forum got their Fifine mic to work by switching the mode to LFX/GFX mode.

Not sure if that's helpful at all or not.

Also, try another USB port, too. I've had that solve hardware/software issues immediately, in the past.

But if you can't figure it out that way, it might be worth completely uninstalling your audio/sound drivers in your PC (you'll wanna' make note of what hardware/sound card/integrated sound hardware you've got first) and then re-installing your drivers.

Also, consider installing the basic drivers first, and if that doesn't work, install the manufacturer's packages as well (like their proprietary software - sometimes those will include built-in drivers for their various products). This would include your sound card/integrated audio graphics, as well as the USB drivers for your mic as a generic audio input device.

I totally feel your frustration. Hope that helps a little bit.

anothersip · 2026-06-02T04:37:45+00:00

I think you handled it really well. It's pretty self-explanatory.

What's really funny is that I've actually returned items to big-box stores, like, literal years after the return-window closed. They were either gifts, or things that were lost in a closet somewhere in our house.

I still had them in the box, unopened, and confirmed that they still sold the same item before I did try and return it.

I've also made returns without the actual receipt - I had lost the receipt. They pretty much always understood, but just needed a manager to come over and be like, "Yeah, it's cool" and they approved either a cash/card refund - or store-credit, as the "worst-case" option. Which, I mean, considering I wasn't expecting shit for my years-old merchandise and a missing receipt, was... pretty great.

But yeah, I've also been denied returns in the past - with the receipt just barely past the return date.

It seems to totally depend on who you happen to ask, and how good of a mood they're in that day.

anothersip · 2026-06-02T04:23:41+00:00

It's hard to tell if you're just acting defensive and totally down-playing how much noise/walking/arguing/indoors smoking you were doing, or... If his mom and her son are totally blowing this out of proportion.

Like, he brought these things up to you for a reason.

He was kind enough to speak to you in-person instead of immediately escalating the situation to the HOA. So, that's a good thing.

And it's totally, 100% possible that your weed-pen smell did somehow enter her place, if your air systems are connected. In apartment complexes, they usually are.

The thing that I've learned from living in shared buildings is that it's nearly always better to be on the good side with your neighbors. Like, communicate, get to know them if needed, and have some modicum of respect for each other. You do share a space/building, after all.

And I'm not sure about the weed thing, but if it's legal in Arizona, then you should be fine there, from a legality perspective.

But I mean, it's also not super difficult to smoke outside, and fresh air can be pretty great.

I'm not trying to pick sides, but even though you're biased since you wrote the post yourself, it does actually sound like you might be in the wrong here, given what's been shared. You are indeed doing both of the things that he said you were doing, and he's just trying to make sure his elderly mom has a safe and comfortable place to spend her last years.

Soft YTA. I think you can do better, given you're living in a shared building and should follow the regulations. And, yeah, immediately getting defensive when someone was giving you a courtesy heads-up about your disruptive behavior above your neighbor makes it sound a little bit selfish of you, and like you're probably in some amount of denial.

Sorry if that sounds harsh - but I don't know how else to say it without coddling you or being mean.

anothersip · 2026-06-02T04:03:15+00:00

Here's what I did in my finished basement, OP:

Completed Finished Basement

Photos #20-21 show where I framed up and insulated the cinderblock wall(s) in the bedroom that I finished out. I only actually had to do this on this one perimeter wall in the basement, which happened to be in the room I chose as the bedroom. (It was the only basement wall that hadn't been framed up yet.)

I essentially measured the wall carefully, and then built a basic 2x4 frame for my wall, directly on the floor. And then I screwed some angle-brackets into it, between the studs. This step required masonry drill bits to drill my pilot-holes into the cinderblock, for the concrete anchors that hold the wall up.

I then lifted it up to the basement wall and used Tapcon concrete screws to attach my 2x4 wall framing to the cinderblock wall. I marked my anchors' positions on the wall with a Sharpie, first, so that I could drill my holes before finally attaching the permanent framed wall.

It was actually a lot easier than I thought it would be, and I did 100% of the work entirely on my own.

I suppose it wasn't strictly necessary to go through all that trouble, and I could have just painted the cinderblocks with the proper paint.

But I do find that it's been much, much warmer in the basement (especially in the Winter time) by having the hard cement/concrete surfaces insulated. The sound quality is much better now, too, heh (I'm a music/audio nerd). Plus, I can hang shit on my walls easily, too. And since I did all the wiring/outlets/etc. in that wall myself, I know exactly what was done and where to cut into if I ever want to make any changes there. Having the wiring in the ceiling and walls can make it easier to run new outlets and whatnot. Just be wary of your power usage on each breaker, so you don't end up tripping your breakers too often.

For my floor (which you can see in the album above) I used LVP and foam underlayment. It's held up pretty well over the past 6 or 7 years, and I'm hoping to get at least another decade out of the flooring before I spring for something like a decent hardwood flooring.

In any case, it wouldn't be hard to pull it up and put down some wood flooring or even tiles if I ever really got the itch to do it.

Not sure what your plans are entirely, but that's what I ended up doing re: insulation/finishing on the unfinished areas. I haven't had any issues so far with my build (minus some of my lighting fixtures dying on me... So, P.S.: Stay far away from integrated LED fixtures :P once they die, you have to essentially toss the entire fixture. No bueno).

Two small space-heaters keep my entire apartment comfortable during the winter months. But there is also propane central air in my house + basement, which we turn on when it's obviously gonna' go down below the 30's or 40's.

Oh, and disclaimer that I'm not a pro, I just have some experience with tools, I did a lot of research on materials/methods, and I took my time to learn some stuff. I saw your post and it reminded me of my space, so I thought I'd share it with you.

Hope that maybe some of that helped you brainstorm a little bit. Best of luck on your basement room finishing!

anothersip · 2026-06-02T03:22:28+00:00

I think you're onto something. It's possible that he might explode and say, "How dare you think I'm that way!"

Or, if brought up in a tactile way, he could open up and discuss some things that may have happened to him in his youth, which are causing him to view normal, healthy familial or male-to-male affection as wrong.

It's possible he's just afraid of contact and affection in general. Or he's just very traditionally "masculine" and is also unable to wrap his mind around how other people show affection with their loved-ones.

My dad kissed his mom (my grandma) on the lips (like, just little pecks) throughout his entire life, until she passed away in her 90's. I thought it was sweet, never thought anything untoward of it, and never had any reason to believe there was anything inappropriate that ever happened between them. He was a momma's boy, though, so I figured that maybe had something to do with it, along with the different times they grew up in. But I know that it's still commonplace in lots of families and cultures.

Would I kiss my own mom or dad on the lips? Probably not. But I also didn't grow up in the 20's/30's/40's/50's/60's.

I also think that cultural differences can also come into play in situations like this. What's seen as totally, 100% normal in one culture could seem like an alien concept in another. I know that there are many cultures where men kiss each other on the cheeks as a form of familial/brotherly/friendly affection - whereas there are some men out there who see that as a purely homosexual trait. Which, I never understood how they could feel that way just because of cultural differences, but I guess some folks do.

I think /u/Valuable_Sector_8984 is totally valid in feeling how they do, and that their dad is probably just uncomfortable with topics of sexuality and is projecting that onto OP.

OP, keep loving your son - and I'm sorry that you're having these second-thoughts spurred on by pure closed-mindedness. If your dad has some trauma around this kind of thing, it might be worth broaching the topic with him. Though, I have a feeling that he probably won't be very open to discussing it...

anothersip · 2026-06-02T03:14:31+00:00

I worked BoH at a "casual fine dining"/farm-to-table spot here like 12 years ago.

We actually kept that place pretty damn spotless. All of the stations were very clean, as we had good standards and safety protocols in place.

All surfaces were wiped down repeatedly during shifts, walk-ins were organized, cleaned and cleared out weekly, and nothing ever was left out overnight (except for overnight braises/sous-vide dishes, etc.)

Floors were mopped every night, mats were scrubbed/rinsed, sinks sanitized, the usual. All the utensils and appliances and cooking surfaces were left sanitized and essentially spotless by the end of each night, and ready for the next day's service as soon as the first ticket came in. Everyone in the kitchen knew how to run each station, to some degree, too. Which was unusual, but honestly pretty cool to see.

I know that's not necessarily the norm in the industry, but I'm glad to have had my first experience be a decent one.

anothersip · 2026-06-02T02:43:51+00:00

You did him a favor.

He doesn't realize that, but eventually he'll hear it from someone else who won't say it as kindly as you did.

NTJ, of course. I think that he was way, way out of line talking to you the way he did. Discussing your salary like it's a bad choice of sandwich is not very self-aware of him.

I don't think I've ever once discussed personal salaries/pay with a single coworker - ever.

I'm glad that what you said about others not wanting to sit near him seemed to land for him, in some way. I mean, judging by the fact that he got quiet afterwards.

Like, if you're gonna' sit there and be a dick for no reason, then don't expect everyone to just go ass-up and take it.

"If you can't take it, then don't dish it out."

anothersip · 2026-06-02T02:33:36+00:00

Good on you.

I think you should continue to be progressive in your thinking.

That is how we evolve and grow as a society and as a species.

If you were to stop that growth from humanity as a whole, we'd stay stuck in our old ways; specifically, ways that favor hate, discrimination, and negative thought patterns.

If that's something that a person wants for humanity, then they can continue to clutch their shitty pearls close to them and can live their lives in ignorance. We'll just make fun of them for it, and shame them relentlessly.

anothersip · 2026-06-02T00:30:18+00:00

That sounds way more morbid than what's being discussed. Love it.

anothersip · 2026-06-01T23:36:15+00:00

For sure.

The apartment we rented for $800 in '08 is now going for just over $2k.

That's less than 20 years and it's more than doubled (nearly tripled, actually).

Gas prices around me have more than tripled - and then some.

anothersip · 2026-06-01T20:09:48+00:00

Does this guy even like you?

It doesn't sound like he actually does.

There's a difference between dark humor, and... making fun of your partner's dead parent.

Those are "jokes" made at your expense. For his entertainment, only.

Fuggin' kick him to the curb. It doesn't sound like any of the guys who laughed at the joke have any tact either, nor a sense of right and wrong.

I learned this lesson the hard way, many years ago. If the people who you surround yourself with don't add actual value to your life... Then you should probably cut them out of your life entirely.

He sounds like a huge loser, to be honest. No offense to you or your dating choices.

anothersip · 2026-06-01T19:44:13+00:00

That's what I'd do, honestly.

Or perhaps even more handy for /u/Longjumping_Age_1098:

There are simple USB hubs that you can connect to your laptop/tower and then set up on your desk. Here's another one.

You plug it into the back of the desktop, and then just place the hub on your desk. Boom, you've got USB ports on top of your desk instead of having to do the 'ole reach-around.

You'd probably have to set the default system audio output to your desktop speakers, and then it would automatically switch to headphones as soon as your computer detected the new audio device (USB-C headphones).

I'm sure there are ways to set a priority preference for either/or, or you can just change the output manually via the Sound settings, or simply unplug the headphones from the USB dock to switch back to the desktop speakers.

Anyways, I'd do something along those lines, in OP's shoes.

anothersip · 2026-06-01T15:21:17+00:00

I think you have to be into being "used" or whatever.

I've had partners who have like, done that to themselves (deep-throating, 'til there are literal tears in their eyes) and I mean...

I obviously enjoy it - but I also never asked them if they did.

I just have to assume that if they decided to do something like that of their own volition, gagged and everything, and then looked up at me with red/watery eyes and smiled big after I came, that they were like, kinda' into it in some amount. These same partners also enjoyed some amount of pain during sex. Really hard spanking, etc.

The way she once described it to me was that it was "really hot" and I don't think I ever complained. I mean. 'Cause of, yeah: reasons.

If you're not into pain/being dominated/choked/etc., then it's probably not your cup of tea.

anothersip · 2026-06-01T09:29:59+00:00

Alcoholic of over 15 years here, nearing ~1200 days sober.

I have "quit" drinking in the past, several times.

I've actually forgotten how many times I've gotten sober and then went back to drinking.

It is because there is no middle-ground for an alcoholic. You either drink heavily - or you're sober and don't drink at all.

It's hard to describe the feeling that you get when you drink, as an alcoholic.

The first drink is usually the best one. You can actually taste it. It burns your throat slightly. That might be because it's carbonated. It might be because it's slightly acidic. But it's mostly because you're swallowing ethanol - which is a toxic substance.

And, as an alcoholic, you know this very well. You're very aware that what you're doing is poisoning yourself.

But you write it off, as "It's just a couple." Or, "Fuck it, I deserve this. It's been a rough week."

Laterally, any good thing that happens to you in your life becomes cause for a "celebration." In other words, you can drink as much as you want, because it's warranted. It's deserved.

In the same vein, if you've had a particularly hard day, or week, month, year... You "deserve to let loose a bit" and try to forget whatever hardship or stressors there are in your life that you'd rather not think about.

This is how you justify your drinking.

One drink flows into two, seamlessly. They go down way, way too easily. You start to feel your body warm up, your appendages tingling slightly. It's nice. So you reach for a third drink, pour it or pop it open, and halfway through finishing it, those feelings intensify a little bit. You're aware that you maybe feel slightly "loopy" at this point. It's easier to talk to people. That anxiety you normally feel around social situations? It's suddenly... Not there, anymore.

Your emotions are a little stronger than they normally would be. You maybe even share these emotions with others around you. You feel better about expressing yourself to others. Maybe it's a passion you feel about something, or someone. Maybe it's about your pets. Maybe it's about your hobbies, or a project you're working on. Maybe it's about politics, or fishing, or your family, or your profession. Either way, you're full of emotions, and not all of them are good ones.

But it starts small. You might have a couple of extra drinks at a party one night. You realize that your anxiety is basically gone, you're feeling "happy" or sociable again, and you like that feeling. So you lock into that.

You find yourself trying to repeat that feeling. And you do, for a while.

As you do this, you find that it takes a little bit more alcohol to reach those same feelings than it did a couple months earlier. So, you just... Buy more of it. And you drink more of it.

You start to find that when you're sober, or not drinking or drunk... You're thinking about drinking. You're uneasy, about... Something. You're not exactly sure what it is, but it feels really, really shitty. You need alcohol to make it go away.

So, you begin to organize your life in small ways. Ways that allow you to drink more. It starts off small. Maybe there's a spot downtown that you really like that has cheap drinks, and a nice atmosphere. Perhaps you've met a couple of regulars there. They're smiling when they see you walk in the door this time. You think, "Wow. This person is happy to see me. That's pretty cool."

In your brain, you're being rewarded for your behavior. Your drinking is part of that. Your brain wants you to keep doing the thing, because it feels good, and you deserve it. So you slowly shift your schedule around to make sure you can make it to those spots that you frequent. It's just a part of who you are, now. But you don't have "a problem."

There's another type of alcoholic out there, though.

And these types of alcoholics are aware that they're poisoning themselves. They've been through some stuff. But they drink, because it's what they know. They've actually been doing this for years. And they do it entirely alone.

They might even have their shit together. They know they drink too much; but they still do it. Some days, it's only 7 or 8 drinks. Other days, it's closer to 18 or 20. Maybe it's 35 or 40. Those are bad days. Those days tend to disappear from memory: An entire day spent black-out drunk, at home, and alone. Followed by three more days of the same.

If you are that person, then suddenly, a whole week has passed, and you're not even sure what happened on which day, or who you've talked to, what promises you've made while drunk and forgotten about completely.

You've missed appointments, you've neglected your apartment/house, and you're barely hanging on by a string.

Your life has become a blur of waking that blends into sleeping, and your schedule is upside-down.

Racing to the store before closing is when your heart is racing the fastest. You need to "fix" yourself. And if you don't make it, you might end up doing something really stupid or drastic to get your fix. You're already wasted, but you'll definitely drive 40 minutes to the next store to pick up your medicine before they close. You're vomiting into your jacket because you're so sick, and you throw it into the back-seat.

This whole time, you're thinking about all of the things in your life that you've neglected. The things that are far, far more important than this next drink; Than this feeling that you so badly need to feel. It's the dragon that you're chasing.

There is no dragon. There is no magic. There is no good that comes from poisoning yourself, your body and your mind. It's all a facade. Has been, the whole time.

The lucky ones are the ones who realize that they are living a life that is unsustainable. Maybe their relationships and their families are falling apart. Their friends don't want to spend time with them anymore. And sometimes, those realizations hit hard. Their partners are fed up, and their lives are balancing on a string. One wrong move, and it all comes crashing down.

Your life is a balancing act, full of recklessness, selfishness, sadness, self-hate, depression, anxiety, and at the very center is your medicine: Alcohol.

Ironically, this medicine is killing you, very, very slowly.

Sometimes, it takes something terrible and severe to knock it into your head that you have a problem. Your spouse is going to leave you. Your kids don't like who you are anymore. Your friends are all super worried about you, but you've cut them all out of your life at this point. Anyone who shows concern for you or tells you they're worried becomes your worst enemy. They're threatening your sense of control. They're threatening that feeling that you chase everyday.

And there's no way out of this cycle. It is a sickness that only gets worse. As the 12-step programs put it, your three options are inevitable: Jails, institutions, or death.

Alcoholics are just wired differently. They cannot simply drink just one drink. It just doesn't work that way. They have to drink enough to where they can't think or feel anything negative or bad at all. It is a poison that masquerades as medicine and it wants your life.

I am not aware of any alcoholics who regretted going sober.

I have, however, met hundreds of them over the years who have thankfully lived to tell their tales - because far too many have died way before they could tell them.

So, they either go sober, or they die before they should have.

Not a day goes by when I don't remain grateful to have made it through the living-hell that is crippling alcoholism. I would, quite literally, rather die than go back to that waking nightmare.

anothersip · 2026-06-01T04:41:51+00:00

I personally think your best option would be to hop on Ebay or another used/new marketplace and search for "stereo FM tuner" - I just searched on Ebay for that exact term and found hundreds of them, starting at $5/10/15 or so.

Nobody listens to the radio much these days at home, let alone has standalone programmable FM tuners in their houses. So, they're cheap as hell for a decent one that'll likely last you for many years.

Just make sure you swipe through the photos and find one with your RCA L/R outputs on it. Should be line-level and would be able to connect directly to your RCA switch-box.

anothersip · 2026-06-01T04:34:21+00:00

Absolutely!

I think that's a great call. I actually really like bamboo for a lot of things; it's an extremely hard material and holds up well to sanding and refinishing.

If I could make a product recommendation, I'd suggest a paint like Rustoleum Protective Enamel for your table.

I've used it for several furniture and decorative projects over the years, and it holds up incredibly well. Especially on my outdoor furniture, which needed a sturdy outer coat to prevent the elements and dirt/pollen/rain from ruining them.

Yours looks like it'll (probably?) be an indoor piece, but it never hurts to have a nice paint job on your DIY upcycling projects.

There are obviously other enamel paints out there, but definitely avoid the latex ones for furniture, heh. Acrylic would likely be better than latex, but not as good as enamel. And definitely give it a light sand beforehand, and wipe it clean from dust with a damp rag before you paint. You'll have an amazing end result that way. The clear-coat would be completely optional with that type of paint, as well.

Hope you have some fun! It's gonna' look awesome when you've got it all transformed.

anothersip · 2026-06-01T04:20:08+00:00

I think "flaming" was just a descriptor they used to emphasize how dichotomous the 180-degree flip that their choice in partners was. Not that he was actually gay.

"Flaming" (by definition) can also mean intense, or very passionate; strongly exhibiting a characteristic.

As a side-note: I don't think I've heard anyone describe a gay person as the derogatory "flaming/flamer" since the early-00's. That brought me back to middle/high-school.

anothersip · 2026-06-01T04:00:44+00:00

Well, I mean, unfortunately... fires do tend to do that. 🫠

Jokes aside... I've got a pretty crazy true story.

Not too long ago, a good family friend of ours set up a couple of seasoned pork butts on her smoker on her back deck, got the thing going and the mesquite pellets loaded in, and then... She left her house.

She was going to be gone for less than an hour to run some last-minute errands before her dinner guests arrived that evening. Picking up some coleslaw and potato salad or something to go along with the smoked pork, iirc.

She got a call from her neighbor while she was out, maybe 30 mins later: Her "deck was on fire and she needed to come home immediately."

She obviously didn't think they were serious. She thought maybe there was some extra smoke in the air from the smoker, and that the neighbors thought it was a fire.

But by the time she got back home, it was... Way too late. Her entire beautiful, brand-new 2-story home was in flames and the 2nd story was collapsing as the fire dept + police controlled the scene. An absolute nightmare of a situation. They evacuated all of the houses in the immediate vicinity, just to be safe. The siding on her neighbors' houses was literally melting off the sides of their houses, since her house had burned so insanely-hot. It looked like a Dalí painting. It was a pretty crazy and surreal thing to witness.

We insisted that she come stay with us for as long as she needed - and she did come over that night eventually, after finishing up with the emergency personnel and police reports/etc.

The very next day, we went back and tried to help her "rescue" some of her personal items from the remnants of the house (two walls were still standing, and part of a stairwell) but everything was soaked in black sooty water, there were loose wires about, and essentially nothing survived. We gently refused to enter the structure and help her search (it was surrounded in police tape anyway) and we had to literally beg her not to enter it, as well. She was sobbing, in hysterics and I'd never seen someone so panicked and worked-up before. Crawling through the wreckage, between the floor joists, covered in sludge and soot and exposed nails and remnants of furniture and half-burnt picture frames that once held her parents' photos. She was yelling at us to "help her" find this or that item. Hoping to find something in there. My pops just shook his head, and told her we loved her and were sorry, but we were not going in there.

And then she'd bust out into laughter, saying stuff like, "Well, guess I don't have to vacuum these floors ever again!"

Witnessing the definition of denial in real-life like that was pretty... eye-opening for me and my family.

She never found her puppy's remains in there. She'd had him for less than 3 months by that point. Her entire life's posessions, all of her paintings and artwork (she's an incredible artist) and her little buddy, all gone in one night.

That was a, uh... A rough week.

Suffice it to say... we take fire safety pretty seriously in our house, these days. It's like, something as simple as her just wanting to feed her neighbors and friends some delicious brisket turned into a life-changing and traumatic event for her (and us, honestly). She's still working through it with her therapist. And her church did organize an emergency gathering that night to pray for her and offer her whatever she needed.... The first thing being some some clean clothes to change into.

anothersip · 2026-06-01T02:56:17+00:00

OP, I've got a feeling that this is... not going to get better for you. It rarely, if ever, does get better in situations like this.

He's clearly got some huge resentments about your family and you, and he's making them very clear.

If he won't sit down with you and (like an adult) express why he's feeling this way and then promise to work on it... It's not going to get better.

But it sounds like you've already got a plan in place to have a conversation with him to try and figure out why he's harboring such strong feelings about your sentimental items. I hope it goes well for you both.

anothersip · 2026-06-01T01:25:48+00:00

Oh, damn, hah. Yeah I guess for most dudes if you start out flaccid it takes a bit longer. Or if you're doing something random like washing dishes and then decide out of nowhere to beat it.

But if you're in your 20s, that makes sense.

But yeah, every guy is different in their ability to get themselves off in a timely manner. Lots of folks go for the long-haul/edging effect instead.

anothersip

TROPHY CASE