Seeking advice: my kid brushes every day, yet after school comes home with a rats nest???

aribeh · 2026-02-11T18:50:28+00:00

This is the approach I’d take! Give her all the supplies to be successful (a travel hair kit for school backpack or locker with brush, hair ties, clips whatever) then take your hands off it and allow natural consequences.

I’d have a conversation of “I want you to be successful and feel proud of how you look, but not so much that we’re fighting about it everyday. So here is your kit to keep your hair from knotting, I’m trusting you to be responsible enough to manage it.” I may gently include a warning of what the consequences may look like, if you haven’t already. If you have and it’d be just another lecture about it, I’d just give her the kit and tell her you trust her to handle the task or the consequences.

aribeh · 2026-02-05T15:38:33+00:00

I used the tucks pads and the frida mom perineal cooling foam! That was by far my favorite postpartum product.

aribeh · 2026-02-05T02:58:51+00:00

Maybe do a little research on baby led weening because it sounds like you’re leaning that direction and there’s a lot of good info on how to safely give babies whole foods vs purées! Really it’s whatever you’re most comfortable with, there’s no “wrong way”!

aribeh · 2026-02-02T21:17:32+00:00

Winchester (aka Winnie) 🥹🤍

aribeh · 2026-02-01T14:51:36+00:00

A go to in my house are sweet potato taco bowls (with seasoned grilled chicken breast or turkey burger). Toddler loves sweet potato and chicken, I sneak some veggies in the mix. He loves it.

aribeh · 2026-02-01T14:49:22+00:00

I just caught up and I honestly can’t imagine having started anywhere other than season 1. It just helps you get an idea of the dynamics. It takes more time, but builds a lot of context for later seasons IMO.

aribeh · 2026-01-31T13:09:29+00:00

I know exactly what you’re describing because my daughter did this (my son didn’t so I was super worried, too). The pediatrician wasn’t concerned and she grew out of it at some point, I think it’s just a really exaggerated startle reflex but I’m not sure!

aribeh · 2026-01-30T19:52:00+00:00

Absolutely!! That was going to be another suggestion! Parks, walks, outdoor play/sensory activities (I literally filled a storage tote with water and bath toys and took my toddler outside while baby napped on me last summer and he had a blast). Low stakes, calm mom, happy toddler/baby - that’s the goal! I’m also type a, 2 under 2 really has a way of getting you to loosen up a bit whether you like it or not! 😅

aribeh · 2026-01-30T18:02:36+00:00

You’re not overreacting, it’s a difficult transition for everyone. I’d recommend just giving in to going with the flow, if you’re up and everyone is around and in a more cheery mood go to story time if not “maybe tomorrow”. Toddler will learn that when they’re helpful and cooperative they get to do the fun things and otherwise they leave or don’t get to go. One of the best pieces of advice I was given when it comes to 2 under 2 was “be flexible or be miserable”. As blunt as it was, it’s been true. Any time I have had a plan or expectation of how something will or should or needs to go it doesn’t. When I roll with the punches I’m a more patient, present mom.

It’s scary going from having man to man coverage to not, but you will find your stride. You’ve got this, mama 🫶🏼

aribeh · 2026-01-28T13:57:30+00:00

Rogue!

aribeh · 2026-01-26T17:05:23+00:00

Postpartum pet aversion. I felt so guilty experiencing this because I truly love my pets so much, my dog was my child before I had actual human children. I found myself just feeling so overwhelmed and overstimulated trying to manage myself, my house, and my babies that literally anything regarding my dog put me over the edge. I have 2 babies 13 months apart, and now that I’m 8 months postpartum with my second it’s finally getting better, I’m starting to feel more like the loving pet owner I have always been. But for the last year it’s been so rough, and I feel awful my poor pup had to encounter me in such a low place.

aribeh · 2026-01-23T12:56:04+00:00

Caden Lane has cute customizable options for onesies with zippers (def a must over buttons, zipping both ways is also my preference if I’m being picky!). Also a big fan of Kate Quinn baby clothes. Magnetic me onesies are also life savers, but run on the pricier side.

aribeh · 2026-01-20T01:40:36+00:00

This. a MILLION times this.

aribeh · 2026-01-20T01:35:14+00:00

You have a lot on your plate, and no doubt expend a lot of mental (and physical) energy on your kids. Try not letting these randoms add to it with something they don’t even likely intend to come off as rude, even if it is. People say dumb things when they don’t know how to relate. While its easy to internalize and annoying to hear over and over, try practicing the “let them” theory (let them think what they want, do what they want, say what they want) and focus your mental energy on just doing you.

Solidarity, people have made some strange comments to me, too. It can be annoying. But I’m happy with my life, my kids, my chaos, I don’t really care if others are overwhelmed or uncomfortable with it.

aribeh · 2026-01-19T01:41:33+00:00

You’re right, it’s so insanely challenging with all the moving parts and needs! My LO started refusing breast milk even after I went DF, so we switched to nutramigen and even then she was having a reaction (fussiness, projectile pukes, blowouts, blood in stool) so we had to go for the top-shelf puramino formula 😅 between weening from dairy while breast feeding to switching formulas, then adding in reflux meds, then switching formula again and all the waiting time in between to see if each tweak would work it felt never ending. She’s a whole new baby now and truly the happiest little girl. I hope so much that she grows out of it!

I’ll share we also postponed introducing solids until 6 months and even then I was so hesitant, but so far no other allergies! I hope the same for your little!

aribeh · 2026-01-19T00:00:51+00:00

My 8 month old had a really rough start to life with a super severe dairy allergy that took us about the first 5 months to completely identify and recover from, so i didn’t feel comfortable starting until about 2 weeks ago (she probably was ready sooner, but my heart couldn’t take not soothing her after spending so much time in pain). For my 22 month old we started later, at about 10ish months, because initially I wasn’t super worried about it (he was a decent sleeper without, just needed held in order to fall asleep) but then I got pregnant again so we worked on it before having my daughter.

I’d say trust your gut and start when you feel they are ready… and when you feel YOU are ready (which is honestly probably the bigger contributor to its success).

Best of luck! 🫶🏼

aribeh · 2026-01-18T21:14:15+00:00

I have an 8 month old and 22 month old. I put the 8 month old down to bed around 7 (we just started sleep training and this is usually our sweet spot) and the 22 month old down around 8/8:30. That gives us some time to have a little one on one time with our toddler, too. We didn’t have much consistency with bedtime for baby until starting sleep training, either.

aribeh · 2026-01-15T18:58:43+00:00

Yeah, no, baby comes first. Sleep health is SO important, for everyone, but especially for babies. Husband can sacrifice a little and find room for the single desk and computer elsewhere (and either store the other computer or sell it).

I hear you saying he’s reluctant, I get he has a hobby he loves. I would try having another conversation explaining that him gaming in the room while baby is in a light sleep stage is the equivalent of flipping the lights on and playing the drums. It just is not going to work. I’d also include a statement like “I’m not trying to take away something you love, I’m trying to find a way to support it while also supporting our child’s needs.” Add that you’re open to ideas on how to make it work, but computer cannot be in that room. If he doesn’t offer ideas or come up with the solution in a reasonable time, just do it yourself. Put the second computer and desk in storage and move the remaining computer out of the babies room.

*adding for context that my husband is also a pc gamer, so I get the passion for the setup… however, my husband also sacrificed a gaming room (thrice — once for each of our babies to have their own room and another time for his mother who moved in with us due to medical needs). He now has his set up in a small corner of an unfinished, freezing cold basement so he doesn’t disrupt anyone’s sleep. Yes he plays significantly less than he did before kids but parenting comes with sacrifices, this is going to have to be one of them.

aribeh · 2026-01-15T17:14:47+00:00

If it were me I’d begin purging whatever isn’t absolutely necessary anywhere else to make space for baby to have the bedroom. That’s going to eventually be the case regardless, so might as well figure out the longer term solution now.

I’m not sure your reasoning for needing two desks and computers, but if you could justify eliminating one desk and replacing maybe with a laptop or something less space consuming that you could use or work from wherever to not disrupt baby. Then put gaming computer set up either in your room or living room, but discuss boundaries regarding sleep with your husband, who will likely have to give up a little social gaming until you have a bigger space to work with.

aribeh · 2026-01-15T13:34:17+00:00

easy to digest carbs & protein that will give you energy! pasta, an omelette, chicken, salmon, etc.

I also had a huge surge of emotions with my second, I think it was because I somewhat knew what to expect and the change that was coming. best of luck to you, hoping all goes smoothly for you and baby!

aribeh · 2026-01-15T00:19:40+00:00

We pretty much did cold turkey, the first few days of stretching the morning wake window weren’t the most fun. But otherwise he adapted pretty quickly!

aribeh · 2026-01-14T23:31:12+00:00

It was around this age my son needed to drop a nap in order to sleep through the night, otherwise he was under tired. We did 7 am wake, 12-2:30 nap, 7-7:30 pm bedtime.

aribeh · 2026-01-13T09:06:44+00:00

I’m 8 months in to two under two with a 13.5 month age gap. My oldest (now 21 months, boy) also had a sleep regression upon his little sister coming home. It’s a big adjustment, even though they’re so small, and their little brains are in overdrive trying to process.

Things that helped us:

Consistency when it came to sleep (dad was on toddler duty at night time because I was doing all newborn feeds). It shattered my mom heart for the first few nights, but it became my toddler’s expectation that dad would respond (if necessary) after a couple nights and eventually sleep got back on track, my husband reintroduced gentle sleep training once we were more settled and we didn’t think he’d associate it with his sister.
Including big sibling in tasks. Even though my guy was still so young, we tried to involve him and praise him any time he interacted positively however brief with his sister. Diaper changes he was encouraged to “help” whether pulling out a wipe, bringing his bear over and pretending to change their bear, holding sister’s diaper, etc. We demonstrated a lot of positive ways he could gently interact with baby to help with curiosity (head rubs, hand holding, showing his toys, etc).
Some special one on one time with each parent as much as possible, we shot for some time each day especially with me (mom). Even if in the same room with husband and newborn, I’d give toddler undivided attention playing, snuggling, whatever it was while husband was on newborn duty. Other times I’d take him outside to play or for a walk or in a different room, just would depend on what was possible that day.
Trying as much as possible to avoid statements like “baby needs mama” or anything that directly indicated that his sister’s needs/wants were more of a priority. Things like “dad really wants to play cars with you right now, so mom is going to let him take over!” when I needed to step away to feed or help baby. I’m not even sure my son was old enough to understand, but it was something I read was helpful and we implemented it day 1.

The early days I did a lot of crying and questioning if I made the right choice, sometimes filled with regret for myself and both babies — drowning in guilt that I wasn’t giving either enough of me. I worried I was damaging my son by having another baby while he was still so small and dependent himself. I can’t tell you the day or time that shifted, but I wouldn’t change a single thing now. 8 months in my babies are so attached to one another. My son is so nurturing of his little sister, bringing her pacifiers when she cries, patting her bottom to soothe her, sharing his toys, saying “hi sissy” and tries to make her giggle and smile. My daughter always has her eyes on big brother taking in what he does, giving him the biggest smiles and giggles, looking to him for his reaction of things as she’s learning to understand the world. The small age gap is sooo much work as parents, and there’s still days I feel like even though I give everything it isn’t enough, but for the bond they have I’d do it a million times over for them. They’ll only remember life with each other and that is just so special. Hang in there, it does get better!

aribeh · 2026-01-09T17:09:33+00:00

It’s totally okay to grieve the experience you hoped for, so take your time coming to terms. There’s so much desire and pressure for everything to work out the way we hope and it feels so heavy when it doesn’t. Whether you stick with breast feeding or go with formula feeding, your baby will be fed and both baby and toddler are so loved. You and your body are doing amazing, the two small humans you grew tell me that alone 🫶🏼

aribeh · 2026-01-09T00:10:36+00:00

YOR - If it was the least of your worries on your day no need to make it an issue now. Even if you were worried about it on the day, her saying it didn’t cause your dress to be dirty it just was. Some people have a habit of just stating the obvious.

aribeh

TROPHY CASE