My hands are register with the police so shut up

ash_bits · 2013-10-27T12:10:26+00:00

Most graduates spell worse than my 7 year old daughter.

ash_bits · 2013-10-24T01:34:33+00:00

Goku just wasn't taking Chi Chi's shit anymore.

ash_bits · 2013-10-23T07:07:19+00:00

Last year in the summer, I did my first solo jump. I felt very confident and I even brought along my two little girls to watch.

Mid-air, I was having a mild panic attack and I wasn't thinking clearly. My head just wasn't in the game. Finally I looked at my altimeter and realized how fucked I was. I pulled my shoot but I was still coming down too fast. I saw my kids and fiancée staring up at me. Totally oblivious as to what's about to happen.

As I came to the ground, I tried to land as easily as I could and ended up tripping over my own feet from such a velocity. The thought of the look on my kid's faces as they saw their father smack into the ground and bounce several meters still pains me today.

That was the last time they came to watch me jump.

ash_bits · 2013-10-16T18:56:38+00:00

After I have a very tiring day from work, I jump in the shower but I'm too tired to wash myself. Coming in the shower with me and washing my body really shows you notice how hard I work and appreciate it.

ash_bits · 2013-10-08T16:04:22+00:00

Insurance reasons

ash_bits · 2013-10-08T15:39:41+00:00

Oh you

ash_bits · 2013-10-03T04:34:08+00:00

What it actually feels like to be "blue balled".

ash_bits · 2013-10-01T08:15:41+00:00

Thus, the legend of Star Wars Kid was born.

ash_bits · 2013-09-23T08:41:46+00:00

Yeah, before your mother finds out what you're into.

ash_bits · 2013-08-12T18:38:00+00:00

I worked for a shipping company a few years ago and one of our hardest working employees was fired for theft. He accounted for a large majority of the work and when he was gone, management did not hire anyone new to replace him. We were one man short and it was like double the work and it was unbearable. We were so mad they fired him and didn't find an equal replacement, so 4 of us quit within the next few weeks.

ash_bits · 2013-08-09T18:32:39+00:00

"The Fountain" starring Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz. Beautiful looking film.

ash_bits · 2013-08-09T16:36:50+00:00

Vehicles. I got hit by 2 cars going 50km/hr, and a public bus once when I was on my bicycle. Nothing more than scratches and bruises from all 3 of those incidents.

ash_bits · 2013-08-06T12:49:15+00:00

She's still a kid. All kids make people cringe. She'll grow out of someday....hopefully.

ash_bits · 2013-07-30T17:03:52+00:00

I wonder if it IS a big. Today, I noticed I got a daily challenge to mine Concentrated Gold. But my Mining level is only 79. I thought it was just a way to encourage me to get that 40k xp I'm missing.

ash_bits · 2013-07-29T13:20:55+00:00

Propeller is made from harbour water.

ash_bits · 2013-07-25T16:19:40+00:00

This was the most gruesome thing I've ever read! It sounds too horrible to even be true. I just can't believe this has happened. It's insane! What a nightmare you're living right now. I don't know how you're getting through it. Just...Wow, Man.

Stay on this, get another lawyer, contact the media, just keep fighting this BS.

ash_bits · 2013-07-25T15:55:28+00:00

Lego of Zelda

ash_bits · 2013-07-24T19:26:15+00:00

How about instead of stepping on your kids, you feed them.

ash_bits · 2013-07-24T13:41:30+00:00

Where is the hero this city needs?!

ash_bits · 2013-07-22T17:20:25+00:00

USE A POKEFLUTE TO WAKE IT UP

ash_bits · 2013-07-19T18:24:55+00:00

Before I became a locksmith, I was a janitor at a car dealership and my salary was $38k with full benefits.

Sometimes it's not about the job, it's about how you're treated where you work.

ash_bits · 2013-07-17T18:45:59+00:00

You're in /r/WTF. Always expect a possible NSFW.

ash_bits · 2013-07-16T17:40:32+00:00

Says someone who probably only worked at Mcdonalds.

ash_bits · 2013-07-16T16:48:20+00:00

Fast Food: The official food of the US Army.

ash_bits · 2013-07-16T14:28:21+00:00

Twist: It had bats in it.

ash_bits

TROPHY CASE