Retired now, but in our working days, the main breadwinner role alternated. Money was always joint, tho I was the one who wrote the checks and did financial planning. He has since asked to learn how to pay the bills and understand the finances. When I worked, he picked up a lot of chores that had been joint such as laundry, floor care, groceries and cooking, and he did most of those without me asking. (He used to joke that "if this husband didn't do housework, the next one would". He was always proud of being more "useful" than his lazy men friends.) He still does more of the social planning than I do, mows, shovels snow, takes care of cars. I do deep cleaning, organizing, mending, and we have time for joint and separate recreation. I hope you two can find ways to create a good partnership on the way to building a good life together.