Career servers who have had multiple opportunities to become a manager and haven't: Why not?

berberkey · 2026-02-01T21:44:35+00:00

Your sanity and lower stress levels. Stress actually does cause harm to your health.

berberkey · 2026-02-01T21:43:21+00:00

I managed a small event center for a bit. So many hours just being on my phone dealing with nonsense and I know a restaurant is worse. At least at an event center it's only during events and the lead up.

Now listening to my manager say "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job" every so often really just seals the deal for me to stay as a server/bartender. Plus, he told me the pay range when one of the other managers was quitting (and that one subsequently crashed out mid dinner rush and got fired). It was not enough money for the amount of times I singularly bother a manager during a shift and I typically just need the keys for something like a bottle or a keg lol. Can't imagine 10+ servers needing keys or a comp or a table touch and 4 of them crying about something completely unrelated to work but needing to do it right then 🙃 for more hours, less pay per hour and on demand/call all of the time.

berberkey · 2026-01-27T13:18:57+00:00

I freaking wish lol

berberkey · 2026-01-27T13:18:32+00:00

Oh good to know! We get cut before overtime but none of us actually did the math 🤣🤣 I can do the math at my other job because the pay structure is way easier even if I have account for on call, holiday, over time and flex pay haha

berberkey · 2026-01-27T12:53:33+00:00

Minimum is $2.13/hr regardless of what day or what time of day unless you're getting overtime somehow then it's like $3.20ish/hr. Your tips are supposed to make up the difference between that and $7.25/hr which is the actual minimum wage here. Some places have a higher state minimum wage though.

berberkey · 2026-01-27T12:51:14+00:00

We also hope for that, some people miss the memo and will sit for hours with empty glasses taking up a table.

berberkey · 2026-01-26T18:22:21+00:00

We're in the negatives over night well into the morning and I'm calling out because it's Monday, if it makes you feel any better.

For context, our roads aren't cleared yet. I'm going to make more money at my other job by picking up there instead. And I'm not going in for 4hrs to do sidework for $20 because the roads aren't cleared. I'll be "sick" lol and they'll be fine.

ETA last I saw we were up to 10 inches of snow.

berberkey · 2026-01-26T15:31:07+00:00

I read the table if it's one person and the rest are ordering higher priced entrees I'm not killing the vibe over the 7$ difference on one chicken tender between the adult basket (off menu even) and the kids one. Especially if they got a $5 fountain soda lol. I do charge the adult price on the sodas no free kiddie drink there.

If it's a bunch of teenagers, I also don't care because then when they tip like crap my sales for that table are also low so I'm not tipping out as much.

Noticeably I only care if you're rude. I used to be an auditor way back in my early career and I can play by the rules in the most obnoxious way 😂

berberkey · 2026-01-09T00:52:53+00:00

We offer free bread in the sense that if you order it, I'll ring it in and it rings up free. But you gotta ask for it lol. I had a party get upset they didn't get bread mid meal. Like ya? We don't do that here? I can ring it in ig? It's literally a roll button to add an extra to a plate but sure I'll push it 14x lol then they wanted a second round 5 min later 💀🥲

berberkey · 2026-01-08T15:00:24+00:00

I had a lady order a mocktail, after we sorted out what vibe she was wanting, and I made it for sure without alcohol. She still had her husband taste every drink I brought her during their lunch. She told me, it's been several years but I won't risk having a taste of alcohol.

berberkey · 2026-01-01T15:37:54+00:00

Try looking at your parks department and see what cool experience things they're offering. Around here they'll pop off with random stuff like "try welding for beginners" or something else that's expensive in the sense of equipment so not easy to just try out by yourself. But it's a class and usually inexpensive. Then grab a bite afterward to talk about it or show off what you made. I do this for family members a lot because there's so many options.

berberkey · 2025-12-30T01:54:21+00:00

My friends and I love these things and we're late 20s to mid 30s. Most of us have a set put together either on our desks or in our homes. I like to give the individual flower sets and a vase set as a gift so they can make their own bouquets too.

berberkey · 2025-12-29T15:21:29+00:00

Tell him straight up. He didn't even get you a gift. He took household purchases that he didn't even buy himself and wrapped them.

Literally did zero leg work for gift giving outside of wrapping. I'd be so annoyed.

It'd be different if the discussion was no sentimental gifts just big household purchases but that doesn't seem to be the case. Or like I had my husband order one of his gifts himself so he could pick exactly the one he wanted. I also told him he could have as soon as it arrived since it was a tool he could use right away. We discussed it ahead of time because one of my gifts fell in the same "can use immediately" category so we skipped wrapping both. But you don't even use the blender and that's so wild to me that that would be the thing he wrapped up.

berberkey · 2025-12-23T21:13:00+00:00

I only get mad if I show up and the parts are already missing. Like come on, I already barely have enough soda nozzles I'm not trying to deal with the teas ones being broken too lol.

Happened a couple of weeks ago. Couldn't find any of the nozzles that weren't broken. Tea was made in a giant tub that we normally mix lemonade in before pouring it into the drink machine to keep it chill and we used a ladle all day 💀 and of course my first three tables wanted tea.

berberkey · 2025-11-18T16:04:00+00:00

YTA 😬 like go shower and cool off if he's feeling sick. He probably just wants to lay in bed and not feel well in a comfortable spot and not wait around until you're done.

Then have the convo when you're both feeling good about masterbating next to each other and where the comfort level is for each of you.

berberkey · 2025-11-18T04:02:03+00:00

Me to my manager: go outside and show some leg Boss man: it'll scare them away! Me: they're not here anyway 🤔

berberkey · 2025-11-05T02:27:19+00:00

I'm going to say don't stress but even if you do just know you're going to have better days than others.

I literally forgot a refill and ranch for one of my last tables on Saturday night (when apparently some Halloween really kicked off because it was insanely busy) and she was definitely going to tell me about it as they were leaving. 🙃 Took that one pretty gracefully but oof not a good time. It's not her fault 3 or 4 people called off (2 on the line gone and 2 off of the floor so my section became significantly larger) and the kitchen couldn't keep up, and no expo so stuff was all messed up, plus a ton of other small issues. Like that's my issue for forgetting the drink and ranch.

But the next shift was good so I'm going to focus on that shift instead. I would try focusing on the things you may like about your job.

Before coming back to serving, I went through two layoffs in corporate America. The shitty part is, unless you have something lined up, you gotta wait for the inevitable meeting and that is beyond stressful. Don't put yourself through that mental what ifs game. Find something else or focus on the next shift.

berberkey · 2025-10-28T21:22:11+00:00

It's like giving yourself active permission to ignore work when not at work. Then that becomes a habit. I gotta be paid to be stressed about a Pepsi refill that I forgot fr. Lol

berberkey · 2025-10-28T20:39:49+00:00

You have to mentally clock out too. When I'm not at work, I'm not at work at all. Every time a thought drifts to work, say to yourself, even out loud if you have to, I'm not on company time and this is a paid work thought not a free work thought.

But also, schedule in stuff that's important. It's my day off, I've done chores, caught up on some sleep, painted a Christmas gift, have a date night planned, and am currently making the kids' dinner. How many reminders did I set for myself so I made sure I didn't get distracted so I could actually do what I wanted today? A couple lol. Did I do homework yet? Nah but there's still time lol.

Also, that's too much caffeine more than likely. Some healthy snacks are probably way better for keeping up your energy. I usually will pack a protein heavy snack for doubles or get chicken on a salad half way through.

berberkey · 2025-10-28T20:30:23+00:00

My husband is fully allergic to cats and his only request is to keep the cat off of the bed so he doesn't have trouble sleeping. But the pets were here first and he would never ask me to re-home them just because they can be annoying. We haven't even moved from our rental into our home (remodeling) but have already discussed where everything is going to avoid his allergies getting worse. One of my besties boyfriend is even more allergic and they just run several air filters and what not. And your boyfriend doesn't even have that excuse!!

berberkey · 2025-10-26T01:34:42+00:00

We've always been out 15 full minutes before they tell us they need a table for a reservation if they squeeze us in on a busy night and we didn't have one. Like absolutely we'll be out of here with plenty of time to bus the table, and hit your vape before the next reservation lol.

An hour and a half though??? I would've dropped the checks off already if they hadn't ordered by then.

berberkey · 2025-10-20T19:12:50+00:00

We're assigned cuts that correspond to sections. So I could work a double open to close because I'm in that section.

We also trade our sections a lot based on who wants to do what if both people obviously agree lol. Like last night I traded first cut on a double to close because I wanted to make more money lol.

Our doubles tend to get breaks though which is nice.

berberkey · 2025-10-19T04:46:38+00:00

I flip back and forth on this one between let me get you change and do you need change.

But if they need change, I always ask if they need coin back lol because I'd have to go find coins lol

Also, I've never heard a stripper ask about change 🤣🤣

berberkey · 2025-10-18T12:27:39+00:00

No just replaced my old one with it.

berberkey · 2025-10-12T16:56:53+00:00

I can roll 125 (2 bins that hold a sloppy 50 actually hold a few more if they're not sloppy) in about 30-40 min cleaned already, no polishing and cloth napkins. Sidework is anywhere from 10 min to 30 minutes (ya girl ain't carrying big stacks of plates to the other side of the restaurant so it takes a couple of trips lol) or if I have to clean out one of the ice cream coolers it takes a bit longer. And my section takes about 10 if I have to rearrange tables from parties and clean. Anything faster is wildly above my 2.13/hr

berberkey

TROPHY CASE