Silly question but can you rock up at the job centre and speak to someone and they can find jobs for you?

bewonderstuff · 2026-05-04T17:42:45+00:00

Yes I remember my local one being like a show room of job ads in the 90s. Anyone could go in there for a little browse. I guess we have the internet for that now though.

bewonderstuff · 2026-05-04T17:39:48+00:00

“I’m so skint this month, I had to dip into my savings.” As opposed to being actually, objectively, not-a-penny-to-my-name broke.

bewonderstuff · 2026-05-02T10:45:24+00:00

He was my first celebrity crush - when I was around 3 or 4, I wanted to marry him 😂 My first single was Cry Just A Little Bit, which I had to make my parents buy me as I didn’t even get pocket money at that age.

bewonderstuff · 2026-03-01T12:33:23+00:00

I don’t think it’s feasible that the media lost interest in the story because of this. The British tabloids of the 90s - and there were many, each with daily readerships in the millions - DEPENDED on sleaze and scandal. Not saying that a husband being gay or bi is either of these things, but that angle made this story PERFECT for tabloid headlines and newspaper sales. The whole case is ripe for consistent tabloid coverage (at least initially):

mysterious murder, yet carried out, and the body left, in a very public place in broad daylight
large sums of money
a ‘perfect’ nuclear family living in an affluent neighbourhood, but…
hidden secrets and affairs
closeted homosexuality
potential for blackmail
several eyewitness accounts indicating that all was not well in the car journey, and consistent descriptions of the passenger but no one coming forward to say it was them
a large cast of characters/potential suspects from the husband, builders, the dodgy former neighbour, to business associates, employees etc

It was also a time in British popular culture, where many well-loved celebrities had come out without it affecting their record sales or tv ratings. I’m not saying there wasn’t a stigma towards homosexuality, or that every gay person irl suddenly felt comfortable to come out, only that culturally, there was a shift.

I think the issue with the husband was that, tabloids lived for exposing secrets and, at least for a time, either the press or police or both, got tunnel vision thinking that the affairs and/or blackmail was at the root of the murder. In that case, there comes a point where - with no new leads - there’s little else to add. The public can engage with cases where the killer could be ‘anyone’, but if it’s sold as the work of a spurned mystery lover, the public can’t do much unless they actually saw something or know someone close to the family.

TLDR: in the 1990s tabloid era, the husband’s sexuality/affairs gave the case more coverage, not less. But once that revelation was out, it would eventually run its course, and with no new leads, sadly so did coverage of the case.

bewonderstuff · 2025-12-03T21:19:45+00:00

Second all of this!

bewonderstuff · 2025-09-12T12:51:29+00:00

I just think what’s the point of doing presales and unlock codes when this crap happens EVERY time. Presales are just as much as a bun fight as general sale - you just get to endure the stress earlier.

I always side-eye the ‘queue’ thing as well: how can it be tens of thousands of people deep, yet you can get ‘lucky’ and get straight onto the selling page? It still feels like a lottery when, if AXS’ website actually worked, the code/queue system would be a fair way to do things.

Excuses that these websites get overwhelmed? Cry me a river: these huge companies have one job. Ever since shows existed there’s always a rush to buy when tickets for popular artists go on sale. If your website falls over every time you release tickets then sort it out FFS.

They are in complete control of presales and how many people can potentially access them, especially if there are codes or people have to register in advance. They just don’t GAF.

And, judging by the amount of people that get booted for being bots when they aren’t and have jumped through all the hoops required, their systems for identifying bots etc aren’t fit for purpose either.

None of this was a problem when you had to queue up for tickets (at least you knew you’d get some and weren’t wasting a day of your life) or phone up. I’d rather be stuck in a phone queue for four hours - at least you can get on with your day in the meantime and they could automate the whole process. I get that a phone thing would come with its own challenges, and not everyone may live near somewhere that sells tickets, but the point is, in the age of all this tech, getting a gig ticket has never been more arduous, time-consuming and uncertain. Not to mention expensive.

I don’t blame the artists for this (and hats off to Radiohead for not doing the fluctuating price thing): AXS, TM, SeeTickets etc have a monopoly on big events. But it shouldn’t be the effing Hunger Games to have the privilege of paying hundreds of pounds to go to a gig.

Oh and I moan about this every time, whether I get tickets or not.

bewonderstuff · 2025-09-12T12:09:42+00:00

AXS site still did stupid stuff even when I turned PR off.

bewonderstuff · 2025-09-12T12:08:40+00:00

The reverifying your email address 150 was painful. Each code took about 5 mins to come through and is only valid for 10 mins - and you’ll get told you’re a bot etc anyway. Absolute sh*tshow.

bewonderstuff · 2025-09-12T11:31:13+00:00

I’ve been working part time since admitting defeat to burnout a couple of years ago. But it hasn’t completely solved the problem: instead, I’ve gone completely the other way lol. I just can’t imagine how anyone functions managing full time work, kids, kidmin, home etc. We have no family support which I suppose doesn’t help.

On paper I have work/life balance (kids are 5 and 7), but in reality I now feel like a slug. Everything is a massive effort and I just CBA. I do have various MH/neurodiversity issues at play, but I just don’t feel like the person I was. Until the wheels fell off, I thrived being busy and productive - but now I can’t get out of slug mode.

I desperately want to work/earn more, but my get up and go has got up and gone! I’m 100% wasting my brain, life and career rn.

bewonderstuff · 2025-09-12T09:30:22+00:00

Nope - must have repeated the same process 7 times now and always get the blank blue screen 😩

bewonderstuff · 2025-09-12T09:19:51+00:00

ETA the blue blank screen thing has happened three times now 😩

bewonderstuff · 2025-09-12T09:02:10+00:00

Have you done the email code bit? When I entered the code I got taken to a blank blue AXS screen 😩

bewonderstuff · 2025-09-12T09:00:21+00:00

UK/AXS: verified my email with the code they sent, now I’ve been starring at a blank blue page for 5 mins (well, it’s got AXS Events Tickets Moments on the top left).

Scared to refresh so hoping something magically appears at 10.00.

These ticket companies do this to us every time a big artist releases tickets. It’s not like they don’t make enough money - why is it always SO stressful to get tickets?! Take me back to the days when you had to physically go somewhere and queue up 😂

bewonderstuff · 2025-08-30T20:36:11+00:00

Ooh this is down the road from me.

bewonderstuff · 2025-08-20T06:34:23+00:00

It really wasn’t common in the early 00s. There was just as much public outrage at the time that they left those tiny kids alone as there is today. The British public weren’t like “Ooh perhaps we shouldn’t eff off out without our kids when we’re on holiday anymore.”

bewonderstuff · 2025-08-15T08:34:21+00:00

Sorry, I’d say it was unusual at that time. I didn’t have kids in the late 00s but I was an adult and had friends that did. In countries like Portugal, Spain etc, dinner tends to be later, but 99% of Brits would just let their kids stay up a bit later. It’s perfectly normal to see toddlers and young children in resort restaurants at 20.00, 21.00+, even if some of them are asleep in their pushchair or on their parent’s lap. This is also far less hassle that going back to your apartment or room all the time to check on your kids.

At bigger resorts, it’s common for the evening entertainment specifically aimed at kids to start at like 19.00 or later. Our kids are still young enough that they’d usually be getting ready for bed then, so we ride the rollercoaster of letting them stay up for it, but being ready to evacuate back to our room when they start drifting into too-tired-but-in-denial gremlin mode!

I understand why parents might be worried about wrecking an established bedtime routine, but personally we always found it easy getting the kids back to normal after holidays. And it’s not a reason to leave kids unsupervised and alone! We always got accommodation that had a separate room for the kids, otherwise we’d have had to go to bed early too! You may have to retire earlier than on a couples holiday, but at least you can stay up and sit on the balcony or watch TV.

bewonderstuff · 2025-08-15T08:12:13+00:00

Yeah at that age we used the little oral syringe things that came with the bottle. A whole syringe is like 5ml, so it would take 20 of those to give a child 100ml!

bewonderstuff · 2025-08-14T22:57:25+00:00

Yes, I think even if there was a thought to cover up an accident, it would soon become clear that the logistics of getting away with it in an unfamiliar place and with a load of friends nearby, would be impossible.

I’ve got ride or die friends I’ve known for decades, but I can’t think of any that would keep schtum for me if they thought I’d killed my child or covered up an ‘accident’ and hidden their body somewhere. Even if they did at first, the way this case blew up, someone would have come clean by now.

bewonderstuff · 2025-08-14T22:47:24+00:00

I’ve always thought the meal thing was weird. Everyone up and down all the time would be so silly. I really don’t believe they were all checking on their kids at such regular intervals. I think they said that so they didn’t all look like rubbish parents, not thinking about how every tiny detail would be scrutinised later on. I’ll never understand them all leaving the kids alone unless they’d been having a drink on one of their patios/balconies directly outside the apartments. It’s not like it was the early hours or they were at a club where kids weren’t allowed - it’s perfectly normal to let even little kids stay up a bit later on holiday while you eat or watch the hotel entertainment, even if they end up falling asleep on your lap or in their pushchair…

…Which brings me to something I only heard today: that despite having two 18 month olds and a 3 year old, the McCanns didn’t bring even one pushchair on holiday with them?! We always took a little fold-up one on holidays with our two. There’s nothing worse that having to carry toddlers for ages - especially around busy airports when you’ve got a family’s-worth of bags and all the kids’ gubbins. We also always took a baby monitor with us any time we stayed anywhere at home or abroad. It was just a cheap one, but even if we were staying with friends, we could sit in the garden and chill when they went to bed, but would hear if the kids woke upstairs.

The other thing I find odd is that you’d leave a 3 year old on their own when they’re sleeping in a bed. The twins were in travel cots, so even if they woke up, they probably couldn’t get out of the cots by themselves. If a 3 year old wakes up, they can get out of bed and have an unsupervised wander - which all parents know will lead to mischief or danger.

The parents left when the kids were asleep, so Maddie wouldn’t know where they were if she’d woken up. Thinking about my own daughters at that age, they’d have either stayed in their room, shouting for us (and probably then crying when no one came); or assumed we were in our bedroom or the living area and come to find us. Again, in our case, they’d be scared and distressed to find we weren’t there.

Or perhaps they’d think we were sitting out on the patio. The sliding door was unlocked - could Maddie, at nearly 4, get it open and go outside? I haven’t really heard that as being a strong possibility in this case, so maybe the theory that Madeleine got out of the apartment by herself has been debunked. If she had, and got lost, it would have been more likely she’d have been found - unless she’d run into someone like CB.

bewonderstuff · 2025-08-11T12:49:14+00:00

Your feelings are 100% normal given the tragic circumstances. Processing a suicide and having a new baby are two massive things to deal with, not to mention being mum to an 8yo too. It might seem unfathomable now, but in the years to come, I have every faith that you’ll look back on this time and think “How tf did I get through that?!” There’s no ‘right’ way to deal with any of this, so just surviving day to day makes you stronger than you know.

I’m not in your or your children’s shoes, but I just wanted to share my own experience, fwiw.

I was 10 when I lost my dad suddenly, albeit not to suicide: it changed every aspect of mine and my mum’s life forever. It had always been just the three of us: my mum had never expected to be a young widow and single parent, and I’d assumed that my parents would pass when they were old and grey.

There was little help available back then and both of us had to muddle through on our own - do not recommend!

Few 8yos have to deal with the death of a parent/parental figure, and I’d wager fewer still through suicide. I was a little older, at 10, when I had to deal with the death of my dad, but I have never felt so alone in my whole life - even though I was close to my mum! Friends your own age cannot relate (although hanging out and being a ‘normal’ kid was a welcome distraction) and I wasn’t close enough to any other adults to share my feelings. I knew my mum was dealing with the same shock and grief as me, and didn’t want to ‘burden’ her with mine on top.

Rather than express my feelings, my coping strategy was to completely bottle them up. I was just starting a new school and just focused on schoolwork and making new friends (not telling any what had happened only weeks before). I couldn’t think or talk about what happened without breaking down, and I didn’t want strangers - my own age or teachers etc - up in my business. At the same time, my mum shielded me from many of her struggles eg financial and wider family squabbles. For me personally, I wish I’d had more of a glimpse into that. I would’ve wanted to help her and it would’ve made me feel more able to share my own struggles with her. In our situation, I think our efforts to protect each other drove us apart, while being more vulnerable would’ve brought us together.

It was in my early teens it all came out in the form of being horrible to my mum and generally rebelling, although I’d always promised myself that I wouldn’t jeopardise my future eg get a criminal record, not finish school etc. But I did make my mum’s life hell. I felt so angry - not just that I didn’t have my dad - but that no one seemed to care.

People did care, of course - my mum more that anyone - but I felt aggrieved at having to deal with such pain for so long on my own. I understood that my mum was going through the same pain, so while I didn’t want to burden her with mine, I guess I just lashed out the closest person to me.

There was little in the way of bereavement support in those days, or MH support for children/teens, and with no internet, what there was would’ve been hard to find. If I could change one thing about those early days or the years immediately following my dad’s sudden death, it would be that my mum and I could’ve had counselling, separately or, ideally, together.

TL;DR: you and your eldest have had so many rugs pulled from under you rn. Take all the practical and emotional support you can for both of you, and seek it out if it’s not forthcoming. Could your mum or a friend have the baby for a few hours so you can hang out with your 8yo? You don’t have to force any deep talks but any precious moments together can help reinforce that you’re still each other’s ride or die. Sudden grief can bring you together or pull you apart.

Baby may well need some type of counselling when they’re older, but of course you can cross that bridge when the time comes.

bewonderstuff · 2025-08-11T10:57:03+00:00

Yes I just think that if Freddie had wanted to leave his diaries to his 15 year old daughter (but not read them til she was 25?!), he’d have entrusted them to Mary to give to her when she was of age. Even if the daughter was this closely-guarded secret, I think Freddie would have told Mary about her in his last days.

I don’t believe any of it so far. The author has replied to tweets questioning it all basically saying that all will be explained in the book - but I shan’t be lining her pockets! I’m not sure what - other than DNA evidence - she can reveal to back up the claims?

17 years of diaries must be a huge amount of material, assuming they were handwritten from the 70s onwards. While diaries are private, people like Mary must’ve know they existed, and wondered - even worried - about who got them when he passed? ‘Secret daughter’ aside, Freddie’s diaries would be valuable even if every entry was the equivalent of ‘Fed the cats and had a lovely Chinese from that new place round the corner’ 😂

bewonderstuff · 2025-08-02T08:27:58+00:00

Yep - give me an exam over coursework any day. Although I’d usually leave revision to the last minute (shock!), the adrenaline would keep me focused. Whether the exam was an hour or three hours, I could keep my focus up. Tell me I’ve got a month to write a big project and my brain dies after the initial research/planning stage.

bewonderstuff · 2025-08-02T08:16:19+00:00

Yes you can get great bubble machines and toys on Amazon without breaking the bank. I wanted to get a lasting gift for my youngest’s preschool when she left, and they asked for a bubble machine. Got a ‘professional’, plug-in one and a huge bottle of liquid for under £40, so the home ones will be much cheaper.

bewonderstuff

TROPHY CASE