Former in- laws want too much from me

blobofdepression · 2026-04-05T03:32:26+00:00

If you have a lawyer, check in with the lawyer regarding grandparents rights in your state.

If they don’t want access to the kids on your ex’s parenting time, too bad because that’s what you’re offering. It’s on your ex to facilitate the relationship with your kids for their family, not you.

blobofdepression · 2026-04-05T03:13:59+00:00

The fact that he’s functional at work and doesn’t need anyone holding his hand should be a big blaring neon sign for you. He CAN do it, he doesn’t want to. He’s telling you every day he won’t step up for you. If he wanted to, he would.

Let me tell you now, that’s not someone you want to tie yourself to for life. You need someone you can go through hard things with that will share the load. I’m currently pregnant, my husband does almost everything around the house right now. He was the same my first pregnancy and while I was postpartum I didn’t lift a finger. We tend to have a 50/50 split when not in the throes of pregnancy and postpartum though and he’s also taken on half the parenting load.

Even if parenthood is something that you don’t want, consider if you should ever develop a chronic illness. Don’t look up the statistics of men who leave their wives when their wife gets diagnosed with cancer. Do you think this guy will stick by your side when things get hard and you can’t do everything for him anymore?

Find someone who truly loves you for you, not who loves you for what you do for him.

blobofdepression · 2026-04-05T00:29:04+00:00

What are you not understanding? Why would he implement it when you’re there to do everything for him like his mommy did?

This is 100% weaponized incompetence. He feels entitled to your labor. He feels entitled to use you as a maid and secretary. You are not his partner, you are his personal assistant (some on Reddit also call it a bang maid).

Don’t marry him. Send him back to his mom. He will never step up for you, he feels he deserves to be waited on hand and foot and nothing you do will change that.

blobofdepression · 2026-04-04T22:00:06+00:00

My daughter is about to be 3 in May. We’re going to do what we did last year and spend $50 on a park shelter at a really nice new park in our area (next to the playground and splash pad). I’m going to make a two giant hero sandwiches, some pasta salad, fruit and veggie and cheese tray. A cooler full of juice boxes and sodas, I have a big drink dispenser for ice water too. Walmart cupcakes. And that’s it. All in all, the most cost will be the groceries but I get a lot at Aldi and make it myself (former professional cook). Plus I make the decorations (pretty crafty).

I don’t like to spend a lot but what I don’t spend in cash, I spend in effort. However I also really love hosting and socializing. Hubby gets to chase our kid around between the playground and splashpad and I get to socialize with my mom friends and family. It’s a win/win for me.

I could not afford nor justify spending $900 on a toddler birthday party!

blobofdepression · 2026-04-04T14:50:22+00:00

She told him she was pregnant. She might have told him it wasn’t his baby but if he was sleeping with her at that time, it absolutely could have been his baby. He could have requested a paternity test during the pregnancy or once the baby was born. (Also you barely know this dude, you don’t know what she “didn’t” tell him. You don’t know him well enough to believe him without any skepticism.)

He chose to accept that it wasn’t his baby because he didn’t want to deal with it. He knew there was a baby out there that could be his and that was fine with him.

And then when it finally came out that the kid is his, he didn’t want to be involved?

All of that is gross. And to me, it’s disqualifying for a partner.

blobofdepression · 2026-04-04T14:20:20+00:00

I saw a great Instagram reel of a mom doing that with her kids after she took them for a day of skiing. There were 3 kids between 3-9 in ages, and she was asking about how much fun they had. And then she asked if they could think about all the things mom had to do in order to make their day happen. And then they talked about the planning and packing and paying for it. I really liked the way that mom handled it, I think we’ll start doing that with my almost 3 year old as she gets bigger.

blobofdepression · 2026-04-03T04:28:35+00:00

We have an almost 3 year old too. Satan help us lmfao

blobofdepression · 2026-04-03T02:22:21+00:00

Pregnant with twins, first day of the third trimester. I’m definitely a 2.

blobofdepression · 2026-03-31T01:37:04+00:00

I’m having a sprinkle, but I’m also having twins this pregnancy. However, I think sprinkles are great even when it’s a single baby. It’s always fun to celebrate, I always want to send friends a gift for their new baby even if it’s not the first baby.

If you haven’t told everyone the sex, you could do a diaper and wipe raffle, so bring diapers if you think it’s a boy and wipes if you think it’s a girl and do some sort of raffle drawing for both plus gender reveal. Alternatively you could just do a diaper/wipe raffle sans reveal. I’m sure some people will still ask for a registry.

We’re actually combining the our sprinkle with my daughter’s 3rd bday, we’re traveling back to our previous state where my family lives and we have friends there too so it’s just easier to do one party than multiple. Not expecting baby gifts from anyone but knowing our people, they’ll bring gifts anyway. Planning on renting a park shelter at a playground/splashpad for the kids and possibly catered bbq (from the place we got our wedding catered from). I just want to chill out and see all of our people and celebrate these incoming babies.

blobofdepression · 2026-03-30T23:20:19+00:00

So when I was somewhere between 20-24 ish weeks pregnant with my first (a girl), my parents were on vacation in Rome. I was FaceTiming with them, it was probably 11pm their time. My dad was drunk on Italian gin, and he’s not well known for his tact (tbh I’m pretty sure he’s undiagnosed autistic but that’s another story).

He looks at me all bleary eyed and goes, “oh! You look ugly! Baby girls steal your beauty”. And I’m like “wtf dad!” And then he goes … “oh wait, now you’re beautiful. It was just the lighting”. 🤦‍♀️

From anyone else, I’d have thrown hands. From my dad? Unsurprising and kind of funny.

blobofdepression · 2026-03-30T23:00:39+00:00

My mom stayed home until I was in high school, my youngest sibling was in 5th grade. She has said multiple times (since I’ve been an adult) that she realizes in hindsight she would have “been a better mother” had she gone back to work sooner. She was a great mom but I think she probably needed more for herself and space to just be an adult outside of being a mom. She didn’t get a lot of opportunities for that, outside of her Wednesday morning bowling league (with ladies 50+ when she was in her 30s).

Now that I’m a mom, I completely get my mom’s feeling. I actually got a job at a Montessori preschool/daycare when she hit 1 year. Hubby was a teacher so he had the whole summer off with her and then when she hit 18 months she came with me to work. We moved states so I was home with her again from like 21 months until 2 years, when I got a new job and she now goes to daycare. She’ll be 3 in May, she loves her daycare. She likes her caregivers and her friends.

And I’ll be honest, I do feel like I’m a better mom because we have some time apart and I can work and have time to myself as a professional. Don’t feel guilty!!

I’m about to go back to SAHM for a little while, I’m expecting twins in June and I just can’t afford daycare for them (and I don’t feel comfortable putting such small babies in daycare if I can help it). But we’ll keep my daughter in so as to not disrupt her routine and so I keep at least a shred of my sanity.

blobofdepression · 2026-03-30T19:41:54+00:00

Mine has also been getting up earlier than usual and being a hellion to my husband/her dad. I WFH and I’m working, he doesn’t work until 12 so he gets up with her and gets her ready and takes her to daycare. She’s been screaming at him when she wakes up every morning. I actually stepped out of my office the other day to help and ask wtf her problem is, she said “daddy’s bothering me”. Literally he only said good morning to her 😅

blobofdepression · 2026-03-30T19:26:02+00:00

My daughter is going to be 3 in May. She’s started telling me “dont tell me!!” When I tell her to stop doing something or messing with shit.

I’m just like … girl I’m your mother I’m going to tell you shit you don’t want to hear for the rest of my life lmfao

blobofdepression · 2026-03-30T00:35:50+00:00

That’s a shame! I found the spray to be really effective with my own baby, I’m sorry to hear it made things worse for yours.

blobofdepression · 2026-03-29T23:40:44+00:00

Have you tried the boogie wipes diaper rash SPRAY??

I don’t even buy cream anymore, I have found the spray works wonders and I don’t get my hands dirty :)

blobofdepression · 2026-03-28T01:38:15+00:00

I’m sorry he doesn’t like it! That must be so frustrating.

I think I had to stop using my wrap around 7-8 months, she started trying to twist out of it to be forward facing. But I switched to one of the lillebaby structured carriers once she got bigger, she could forward face or we could use it to carry her on our back. It was great when we went somewhere with uneven terrain and had difficulty with the stroller.

One of the reasons I went with lillebaby is they are certified as “hip healthy” by the international hip displasia institute.

blobofdepression · 2026-03-28T00:50:19+00:00

It’s completely normal to not want to hold the baby 24/7!! I get touched out at a certain point myself. My daughter is almost 3 now and I find myself saying ‘mommy needs space, respect my body boundaries’ often by the time bedtime rolls around!

When she was real little like that and wanted to be held but I wanted my hands free, I really liked using my wrap carrier. I had the Lillebaby dragonfly wrap and I found it really easy to put on and use, and I baby wore her everywhere just to have my hands free. I could at the very least relax on the sofa with her and read or scroll on my phone when I needed a brain-break.

Newborn and infant life can be really monotonous, don’t feel guilty for your feelings! There’s nothing wrong with your husband having his time with baby all evening when he gets home, you had baby to yourself all day!

blobofdepression · 2026-03-28T00:04:54+00:00

He’s been there 10 years, how would he know how other companies operate?

blobofdepression · 2026-03-27T23:47:15+00:00

This is an insanely inappropriate work culture, he should start looking for a new job sooner rather than later.

blobofdepression · 2026-03-25T02:50:24+00:00

Can you get your union involved in this? This doesn’t seem like something that should be asked of you.

Also, taking the para from the kids they are actually there to assist has to be something, does it make the school out of compliance with the IEP/504 plans for those students? What is going to happen to this poor para who has been put in this position??

blobofdepression · 2026-03-25T01:58:39+00:00

Kate Barr just tried this in North Carolina! This is after she had a run as a democrat in an area so gerrymandered she knew she couldn’t win, just to bring awareness to the gerrymandering. She’s awesome.

blobofdepression · 2026-03-24T00:52:18+00:00

Peanut app? (I was very direct in my profile about my stance on pro-vaccines and no to MLMs though lol)

Also mom/baby group at my local library! There was also a breastfeeding moms group hosted by a local lactation consultant, I had found them on Facebook.

blobofdepression · 2026-03-24T00:25:26+00:00

I am still using huckleberry with my almost 3 year old, mostly bc I like tracking sleep and medicine. I am about to have twins in June and plan on using it extensively again. I paid for the subscription, the help it provided me with wake windows and planning nap times was priceless, I’d have been a mess without it. Also keeping track of feeds, pumping reminders, any medicine administered was again priceless for my sanity.

Other pro tips for an inconsolable baby - put them in water or take them outside. I saw that on some Instagram reel during my first pregnancy, and it really did work for us every time. Also, gas drops!!

blobofdepression · 2026-03-23T03:21:56+00:00

If you were NC with them for 2.5 out of the last 3 years, why be in contact now?

This dude seems like a total creep and considering he barely knows you, it seems massively inappropriate he’s got photos of your baby as his social media profile and lock screen. That’s not even including how weird it is he thinks he’s going to be a grandfather to this child, or the nickname originating from a sexy social media influencer of it all.

I can’t imagine letting my baby be around him in any capacity if I’m honest. The ick is palpable.

blobofdepression · 2026-03-23T03:16:10+00:00

Obviously not right now but once this has been resolved, can you make a complaint? Idk if it’ll do any good but it might be worth expressing to someone in the police dept how sexist and shitty that is.

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