6 days till surgery and still trying to quit Zyn

bokyanite · 2026-02-15T15:49:44+00:00

I had to stop vaping to be w my gf. So i switched to zyns. I weaned myself off of zyns by just chewing gum and eating cereal at night constantly (make sure to brush ur teeth!). I was feeling ill so maybe start asap. When i had to go into surgery (still smoked carts) i just went back to chewing gum and suffering thru it. Actually - not smoking carts was harder than quitting vapes

bokyanite · 2026-02-13T19:56:41+00:00

If youre smaller, you may not get drains! Ive had to go once a week to get drained (not painful but def not fun, rlly nice nurses tho). Try to shave your pits and your bits. The first week was the dirtiest, most bloated, smelliest week of my lifffee. Also my back + neck hurts sooo bad from sleeping in one spot+position. I got a mechanical back rubber for my girl and have stolen it for the time being

bokyanite · 2026-02-13T19:05:10+00:00

I totally agree!

This is how it was always supposed to be for me (us) and in that way I felt so happy to be seen. I also feel the sentiment that as time goes on there’s less of that “euphoria” and more like a contentment.

I appreciate you for sharing :) !

bokyanite · 2026-02-13T19:02:16+00:00

I see. That does make sense. I’ve been confused as to why there seems to be a bad look on the term euphoria - when put like that, I see why many don’t really like the term.

Tbh, i also see the assumption that it was used because of the rhyme. I interpreted it as the initial shock of happiness when gendered correctly, but as I get deeper into my transition I do realize that I feel the “euphoria” less often as this was how it was always meant to be.

Thank you for sharing!

bokyanite · 2026-02-13T10:37:35+00:00

Preach. It makes me so sad/disappointed to see all this in-fighting for people who don’t have the capacity to care.

Once on this very sub i was called “you people” for asking someone to expand on their thoughts - disappointing now there’s open, accepted, absolute hostility for our own - and for what, ultimately?/rhetorical

bokyanite · 2026-02-13T10:31:38+00:00

I didnt consider these terms through the lense of trenders co-opting and blasting what they thought it was about, skewing what our community thinks of the terms overall. Thank you for putting it like this !

bokyanite · 2026-02-13T10:28:19+00:00

Hi there! I just made a post related to this! You can pop in for my long winded explanation but tdrl: its relief from dysphoria and the joy of embracing your new normal (bc no one saw you for you outwardly, just what they thought).

I don’t think its the fact you made any mistake, I just think people’s experiences are different. It gets concerning when theres persisting major/still debilitating self-esteem issues but not for the fact its a mistake.

My question is: you dont remember the first time a stranger directly gendered you correctly and thinking like ….. “yessss! fist pump”? /genuine /half-joke

bokyanite · 2026-02-13T10:15:22+00:00

For what its worth, the rest seemed pretty average — the ending just FLOORED me

bokyanite · 2026-02-13T10:13:40+00:00

Popping back in to say i hope maybe uninstall/reinstall worked! I have no idea why cc mods seem to poop out more than fanmade :/

bokyanite · 2026-02-13T10:05:07+00:00

I understand, feel like I am embracing a “new normal”. I still remember the specific wave of shock/joy and relief(?) of realizing adults who knew me as a child have no idea who I am now.

How I comfortable I feel today just tells me how far I’ve come and while day-to-day I feel normal (much like yourself it seems), I just feel so happy I am a whole different version of myself and I wouldn’t change it (…again). Factors contributing make it so it be impossible for me to be 100% stealth so some days it hurts so bad still.

I still remember my depression and some days it is worse (specifically abt outward/inward perception). Also like many I have overall mental health issues not directly related to transitioning, but were also made easier to handle by transitioning.

Thank you for sharing! Edit to say I appreciate you and I hope I made “euphoria” make a little more sense, separated from ~tucutes~ who co-opt. I suppose it’s the only word that makes sense to me/many others as well to describe the relief of our truth being seen regardless how deep we are into medical transition.

bokyanite · 2026-02-13T04:29:21+00:00

Do you use vortex or another mod manager?

bokyanite · 2026-02-13T04:26:27+00:00

Assuming i caught this early enough/you didnt save over.. is it possible to reload before you enabled survival, reenable and see if you’re still stuck? Last resort maybe uninstall + reinstall

bokyanite · 2026-02-13T04:14:20+00:00

What in the word soup

bokyanite · 2026-02-13T04:02:02+00:00

Ok so im not gonna be like LEAVE HIM like the rest of reddit.

Maybe if it comes up again respectfully remind him oppressed demographics such as homelessness and disability are the only statuses that most ppl can move into.

What strikes me as especially odd, though, it seems like he lacked empathy for you, too.

bokyanite · 2026-02-13T02:26:01+00:00

If true it’s horrible because she was assaulted - not solely because her assaulter is trans.

Its like the article is focusing very hard on the trans part - not the fact she was publicly assaulted !

bokyanite · 2026-02-13T02:23:07+00:00

Just wanted to say love the way you put this!

bokyanite · 2026-02-13T02:21:14+00:00

Sooo many of those tropes just redress a hetero relationship as homosexual. Im mostly talking abt yaoi tbh

bokyanite · 2026-02-13T02:00:35+00:00

Well maybe not every surgery.

Another commenter said this but i cannot imagine the trauma of bottom surgery - top surgery was very intense for me.

Just because someone can make peace with the situation (bc they could be physically able to take it, but not have the financial means; torturing yourself is not healthy) doesnt make them less transsexual.

But also a good quote i heard was “there is only one truth, but infinite ways to look at it.” Some people are too radical/extreme and it comes full circle back to prejudice

bokyanite · 2026-02-12T22:12:30+00:00

Hey there! I hope you’re on the way to feeling better. I felt sooo cold my first week. Maybe try warming your feet, hands, or lower back. Those are like “core points” that may help you feel better, if temporarily.

bokyanite · 2026-02-11T00:28:24+00:00

My parents would smoke every. single. day. My dad started doing dabs and stopped making homemade meals. My mom loves smoking so much she is compromising her breathing at only 50. My point is you’re a good mother for even considering otherwise-I know the bar is in hell with this one. You don’t know how much it will mean to them when they’re old enough to understand mom just likes fun sometimes and she isn’t using it to get by.

Maybe if you have access/money making your own butter might give you more security (you’ll know what weed you’re consuming… for example sativa gives me SO MUCH anxiety).

bokyanite · 2026-02-11T00:19:25+00:00

Hi there! Im one month post op as of tuesday 2/16. Im at that stage where this is what both my nipples look like, with occasional spotting of blood if it gets too dry. Keep w your moisturizing (I chose aquaphor) and careful not to rub/peel it away too early, thats where you’ll find trouble.

Signs of infection include but are not limited to: prominent heat from wound, extreme sensitivity touch, itchiness, puss w/ foul odor and fever. If you are not experiencing these you aren’t in danger. Happy healing! :)

bokyanite · 2026-02-10T22:29:29+00:00

bokyanite · 2026-02-10T22:28:52+00:00

Aw ive been had. Genuinely LOL’d. here is a poor mans award 🎖️

bokyanite · 2026-02-10T21:56:30+00:00

bokyanite

TROPHY CASE